Cleaning Day

My day did not start well. I'm fighting this depression and I'm not sure who is winning. I don't think it is me. I've started back on the St. John's Wort. I was off it about a month but I was fine. I realized on Saturday that tomorrow is Jerry's birthday and it has just pulled me down.

I think cutting that last tree was more difficult, too. The yard so very bare and it is like an alien landscape. I pull in the drive and the sense of something off kilter or out of place is terrible.It is similar to what I would feel coming home from work when Jerry died. I go in and sit on the computer until I'm so tired I can't see and then go to bed and pray I go to sleep. I am sleeping, but I wake up in the mornings in this very depressed state. I am nearly sick over breakfast every morning.

Anyway, I'm having my teeth cleaned today and probably will schedule to have a tooth filled. I have a filling that needs it and they talked about putting in an implant where I had a tooth pulled about 40 years ago! That's a lot of money to fork out but I have to get it fixed to prevent any further drifting of the adjacent teeth.

I may be back later.