Thursday, May 30, 2013

Random Observations and Minutia Of No Importance

Why is it that the loveliest days I get are spent tied to my desk? I am sitting at my desk looking outside at this stunning sunny day. Yes, there are lots of clouds. I hear some storms are brewing out west but still, it is just beautiful .... out there.

And here I sit. Watching it.

I'm feeling tired today because I did not go to bed like a big girl. I've been reading a lot and that is pretty much it since I got back from Florida. Read some really good books on my Kindle. Look for Scraps of Paper and Ring of Lies - both fun mystery reads. Scraps of Paper was really my favorite in a long time.

I've done a little bit of crochet but I'm making a sweater for Sarah and it is just deadly boring at this point. That's is why many projects take me so long. When I'm in the long stretches I just get bored. I have one side done. I am hoping to start on the other side this weekend. She won't be able to wear it until Fall but that's fine. I'm making it a bit long in the sleeve and body because she is one of those children with a coltish build. She grows up, not out.

We went to the Memorial Day Service at the cemetery. It was a beautiful day with a breeze and I found a nice spot under a shade tree. I usually sit on the plaza in a folding chair but this year, I took a folding chair and found this nice spot.  These are very nice events and I like them. Jerry would have liked them, too. It is too bad we didn't go to them before he died. This cemetery is more like a park. I could see carrying a picnic basket and blanket and having lunch here. Lots of trees and paved roads throughout. You could bike here if you wanted.

 I've not even been watching as much t.v. or doing computer stuff. I was busy at the weekend and when I got back to work on Tuesday, well, it has been hectic but I can tell I needed that vacation.

My flowers are not coming up in my pots so I can't set them out. No idea why. I'm going to do a couple more things this weekend if the rain misses us. If that doesn't work, no flowers this year.

I now need another vacation............)8{

For once I have no complaints. Well, I have them but I'm not sharing. They're very trivial.

Sunday, May 26, 2013


I started this blog on Friday, as you will see. Never got finished.

I don't believe it is Friday. Really. I'm on vacation, the sky is a beautiful blue, the sun is shinning and I'm sitting inside looking outside. It is cold. Well, it is to me. Right now it is 69 but my back patio is shady this time of day so it is probably a couple of degrees cooler. That's too cool for my blood and my bones. I had dreams of sitting in the warm sun and trying to get my muscles to relax to the point I don't feel as if I'm in a vise.

I've spent the last two days recovering from my trip. My hands were really sore for about two days after the canoe trip. My feet are really not doing well at all. I can barely walk on them in the mornings now. After walking around for about half an hour they are only slightly less painful. It is horrible, frankly. I have no choice but to get up and walk, regardless of how bad it hurts. And if I sit down for long, it is just as bad when I get up again.

I've discovered that when you are in pain, it is very hard to be nice to stupid people, obnoxious people, lazy people, and healthy whiners. There is something about having to do things even though you are in pain that just ticks you off about those three types. I'm not sure what it is but there ya go.

I had some intentions of writing this week. Laughable, really, when you think about it. My phone won't stop ringing. Every person in the world needs some piece of me. For some reason, everyone thinks that MY vacation means I'm available to do things for THEM.

As a result of my own personal misery, that is the fault of no one but myself, my blog has become this constant rant of ills and woes. I'm seriously considering just tossing the whole thing out the window. I really hate it.

Of course, one could say that this is really Life on the Ledge. Every day is like looking into the abyss! I can step off or keep crawling along the ledge until I get to the end of the path. When did that become the focus?

Oh. Duh.

Today is Sunday. On Saturday, I helped Phyllis with her moving, not much as the boys did the heavy stuff on Friday night. I simply carried a load in my car. Spent the afternoon on the patio with Sarah and Becca before taking Becca home. We were supposed to plant flowers on Saturday but I'm still beat. And my plants are not coming out very well. Only the Princess feathers have sprouted. A couple of marigolds but no moon flowers. I guess the seeds weren't any good after all. I'm going to try a few more and see what happens.

However, at the moment I have the worst allergy I can remember. I'm sneezing violently, an endlessly running nose, and itchy eyes. Also coughing here and there, probably from post nasal drip. I think the mild headache I have is also sinus related. So. No I can't take anything for it, at least nothing that works. However, I'm probably going to break the rule soon because the symptoms are just horrible.

I had on week where I felt fairly good. Now I'm sick again. I have Monday off and was going to do yard things but at this rate, it isn't safe to come out of the house for me.

I'm uploading short videos of our trip but they are nothing of importance. Very uninteresting for the most part.

I'm leaving this now. I can't figure out how to fix it. My brain is a sodden mess and it keeps dripping out my nose. By the time this is done, I'll have no brain at all.

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Vacation Update

My youngest sister, Roselynn & Cindy
It is sunny and hot in the Florida Panhandle, like the handle of a cast iron skillet. Sunny and 91 degrees. Wow. I think it feels pretty good but then that's just me. You don't want to be sitting in it all day.

It has been really great to visit with my family and our trip turned out pretty good. There were 12 of us and I think we all had a good time. I had planned to go to the beach today but I am so worn out from the canoe trip yesterday that I'm content to just sit around the house. My hands are so sore from paddling.

I went shopping this morning looking for some clothes but found nothing to wear but one skirt. I picked out four outfits but when I tried them on they were so poorly made that they just looked hideous. Darts too low, hips too wide, hems uneven. Really ugly. All made overseas. I did get Sarah an outfit and I got Mike a couple of pairs of shorts and a pair of dress slacks. I'm going to have to start sewing again.

From R-L back row: Phyllis, Roselynn, Cindy, Sarah
R-L front: Callie, Aunt Phillis
Tomorrow we head back home and it is the 12 hours drive that I really dread. I've not really relaxed since we got here. The pace has been hectic. Sunday we went to church with my family and that afternoon we had a baby shower for my nephew's wife. They're expecting a girl in August. After that we came back home and spent the evening visiting. We were up at 7 am for the canoe trip and didn't get  back home until around 7 p.m. Everyone crashed once supper was eaten and baths finished.

So, after tomorrow, I can actually relax for a few days.

I wish I had time to stop off and visit in Andalusia, with my in-laws but we don't have the money to stay in a hotel and with a 12 hr drive ahead of us with no breaks, we can't afford to add any time to that trip. Perhaps next time there will be an opportunity.

Of course, De Funiak Springs, is only an a couple of hours away from all my relatives so everyone is always welcome to drive over and see us if thye really wanted to do so. Once we're out of the car, it is  pretty hard to get us back in to drive two more hours.

I'm going to take a nap, I think.

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Tidings of One Sort or Another

Glad tidings! One more day before vacation. I'm so looking forward to being out of the office for ten days. We leave on Saturday and will probably be back Wednesday or Thursday. Depends on how I feel. I love going but I also love being home. And I have a lot to do.

Good tidings. I went home last night and sat on the patio until dusk and came in and watched Grimm, got my meds sorted out for the week, crocheted a bit and then got to bed later than I intended. I'm paying for it this morning. I'm a bit tired. Let me say, however, that I feel 100% better. I am hoping that the virus has gone into remission and I can actually start moving again.

Past tidings. I never want to be that sick again. Really. This has been the worst three months I've lived in a very long time. I know exactly when I got sick. Remember the rash on Presidents Day weekend in February when I was in Atlanta? I had to got to the hospital the following Monday because it was spreading. I'd been having problems with mouth sores for months. A rash on the body and mouth sores are both symptoms of Epstein Barr, aside from the generally know symptoms of sore throat and fever.

Whatever tidings. I came home tonight and cleaned the den. It was dusty and junked up. I've got it more or less sorted. I have done nothing else but look on G+ and look at crochet patterns. I've found some really pretty things. I have too much to do and not enough time.

I'm trying to get the next local writer's meeting set up but our scheduled day is Graduation day. So, must rethink it. Still trying to get it set up for Doug to come in. Stupid bug kept me down too long. I'm two months behind everywhere.

Had a lovely massage last night. Don't know if it helped a lot but I did feel so wonderful afterward. And some of the sore spots are a bit better. The neck is only slightly better than it was over the last weekend.

Massage is expensive but surely I can do that once a month? I'd love to do it weekly.

So going to get things in order while I'm off. I have tons that I want to do around her. I have a flower bed to get done and I need to clear out the closets in this house. Why can't I get rid of stuff? Why is it so hard? I hate it.

I'm done for now. My blogs are such a bore! I hate that too. I'm going to work on Mist. Yeah, that's the ticket.

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Amazing Recovery or Fluke?

Ok, maybe not amazing. I have no idea what has happened. I have felt so good today that I actually went out and put my flower seeds in the flat so they will spout. I may not get to plant them for two weeks but I'm good with that. If I could feel this good every day, life might be bearable.

I came home and prepared supper for me and Dave. Mike came in and so he ate, too. Dave had Sarah this evening so Sarah and I spent the evening in the back yard putting the seed in and even planting marigolds around the post on the patio. She loves planting things. She pick up her first wiggle worm, earth worm to those of you not raised in the South. It was hysterical. She squealed and said, "He's so cute!" Have I mentioned here that I tell her that her nickname is Ellie Mae? For those who don't understand the reference, Google The Beverly Hillbillies.

It was a good evening. I took some photos with my new phone and even a video which, when I save them, automatically uploads them to a G+ album. That is so cool! I have access to all my Google features - email, calendar, G+, photo albums, contact list. Everything! So nice to have. But I hate these honking big phones. I bet before it is over they'll be as big as the first cell phones. I loved my LG flip phone. Did what I wanted and all I had to do was say "Call _____" and it repeated it verbally, then it dialed the number for me. I can say that to this phone and it ASK me in text if that is the number I want, I have to then tap the text and then it dials. So, if I have to use my hands anyway, what good is that feature? And the constant need to recharge! I have always gone a week without recharging my phones. What is that about? Wimpy batteries or power hungry apps that serve no purpose.

Anyway, felt very good today. I actually think my problem may be blood sugar related. I'm going to get a meter this week and start checking it when I have that horrible feeling again. If it isn't blood sugar, I don't know what else it could be.

I go for a massage tomorrow to a therapeutic massage place. Dave working on my back and neck last night really made a difference and I'm so looking forward to the one tomorrow.

I have to start packing for the trip soon. I haven't even begun because I've been so sick I wasn't sure I'd be able to go. I still don't know what will happen between now and Saturday. One day at a time.

Must go now as it is getting late and I am trying to get to bed earlier each evening. Lack of sleep is making things a lot worse. I slept really good last night and hope for the same tonight.

Just Tuesday?

I am still alive but yesterday I was so sick! I went back to my doctor again after lunch because of how I was feeling. It was just awful. However, she found nothing unusual. I told her it felt as if I had jello in my brain for about 2 hours.

So, more blood work. This time we're looking at possible diabetes. I'm insulin resistant. I've avoided the full blown disease up to now. I have no idea what happened yesterday but it felt like I was going to pass out as any minute. I had a bowl of grits for breakfast and toast. Delicious but very high carb content. For lunch I went home and had an egg sandwich. High fat and protein content even though there was the carbs in the bread. I had my sister come by and take my blood sugar count. It was 84! That's actually good. So.... after lunch, while I was at the doctor, I was a bit better. I wondered if my blood sugar had dropped too low.

She instructed me to get a massage because I have multiple trigger points, some I didn't even know until she pressed them. So, I get one tomorrow after work. David, bless him, gave my back a very good rub down last night. He knows exactly how much pressure and where to take out the kinks. I still had terrible neck ache and headache yesterday. The doctor felt all the tight muscles in my back were contributing to it. I took too acetaminophen and after he worked on my back, neck and shoulders, it did feel much better. And today, not so sore. No real headache either.

I have no idea what I'm going to eat. She's taken me off any sweetener..... even artificial. Just water or natural unsweetened drinks such as tea or coffee. NO breads. NO milk. NO rice. NO potatoes. NO processed sandwich stuff. I'm to try and get rid of as many chemicals as possible. I'll probably have to go to the grocery every day to buy something fresh to eat.

I did another chapter of Hidden in the Mist. If you have a link you can go see. That monster is just a mess. I wish I could get enough energy to sit and just write it all out and be done. I went to bed around 10 last night but I dozed on the sofa for hours. Missed half of my show I was watching and had to rewind it. Anyway, I think I actually like this little bit I wrote... the writing not so much as just how it directs the story. I've been trying to teach Sam that the Outland situation is unjust and the reasons for that but in this scene Reece lets her make the point very nicely. Now to find out if she recognizes it.

Ok, post done. I'm still feeling wooly headed today. I would like to get past that. It seems impossible. Prayers would be appreciated.

Saturday, May 11, 2013

Dance of the Hausfrau

Today is a wet, gloomy, chilly day. The last three days have been wet but it usually warms up by noon.  I don't expect the whole weekend to be any better. I'm not going to get flowers out again before the 1st of June it appears. I wanted to do it today but I just don't see how I can. Next Saturday, the 18th will start my vacation. I'll be in Florida for four or five days and back by Wednesday. So maybe I'll have time then to do them then. I am going to get them into the flats to germinate. I can leave them on the patio while I'm gone.

I thought Saturday would never get here. It felt like the longest week. However, I am glad to report that I am so much better than I was week ago and if I remember how I felt the first week of April, I'm not the same person. Lord have mercy, I never want that virus again. 

When I woke up on Thursday, it was the first day I did not feel like I'd been hit by a truck in two months.  When I came home on that evening I thought, I'll sit down and read and relax. I fixed supper for Dave and I and showered. When I finally sat down I read in the den for about a minute and passed out. It was around 6:30. That old couch I kept is the best sleep machine ever.

I woke up at 9:30 to a ringing phone. I sat up on the couch saying "Hello? Hello?" I thought Jerry was in the next room for some reason. Once I got my brain working I got up and got ready for bed. I was in bed by 10:30 and I think I went to sleep within a few minutes. I worked on Friday, still tired. When I got home I lay down again and napped for about 20 minutes but I sat up way too late last night so it didn't really matter I guess. I am hoping this is the end of it. 

I have not had a lot of joint pain with the virus. I have had headaches and terrible neck pain. I quit taking the acyclovir, I think on Wednesday. I was really sick on Monday and had a headache all weekend. Something said, "Stop taking the antiviral." I thought about it and finally decided the voice in my head probably knew more than I did. So I stopped. Headache went away and neck pain got better. And by Thursday, I almost felt what passes for normal for me. 

My house is so dirty. I've been sick for two months and things are really in a bad way. It will take me weeks to clean it and I suspect the last few days of my vacation will be spent here, trying to clean it up before I go back to work. 

Now, I'm going to have to get dressed and wade into the mess. I really need a cleaning lady. Haven't found anyone yet. First I need to get ride of a lot of junk. But I won't get it done sitting here. I'll see how long I can hold out before I have to stop.

Monday, May 6, 2013

Still Alive In Indiana

I just realized that it has been a little bit since I posted anything here. I've been busy. Well, no... I've been sick and busy when I've been able to be busy. I can't seem to shake this virus, although, I am not nearly as bad as I was in March and April. Compared to April 3rd, I'm probably 90% better.

It occurs to me that I've probably been dealing with it since February. I think that it was just after President's Day, when I was dealing with that rash on my ankles, that shortly after I began to experience the problems with the extreme exhaustion around the first of March. I checked my blog and it seems to be the first of March exactly. Now, this is nearly the middle of May. I was sickest from the middle of March until the middle of April. I went to the doctor on April 4th and got medicine, whereupon I began to improve. It it not happening fast enough for me.

I made a mistake of saying, "if you have never had mono, you have no clue", to a woman I work with who knows everything. Of course she knew all about it because her son had it. I said, "I got news for you. Unless you have had it, you don't even come close to understanding." She proceeded to argue with me! Finally, since she's basically a dishonest person, even to herself, who fails to recognize her ignorance on a plethora of subjects, she walked off in a huff. I could hear her telling the story to another coworker around the corner in that whiny voice she uses most of the time, since most of the time she's in a snit about someone making her feel stupid. Since I was very sick at the time, I didn't really care. And I find, as I have felt slightly better, that I still don't care.

You can tell I'm not being so nice these days. I've come to realize that most people take advantage of me in one way or another. I must look like schmuck or there is the general idea that because I'm usually compassionate, kind and will give you the shirt off my back that this means I can be told what to do, how to do it and when to do it by every person who knows me even a little bit. Being as sick as I have been has sort of shone a light on some things. You find yourself alone more when you need help than you do when someone else needs help. If you want money, just give me a sob story. If you want a ride, just give me a sob story. If you want me to sew, cook, or do some other task for you, just give me a sob story. Why has it taken me most of my life to recognize this? And why is it the hardest habit to break? Why not just tell people to take a hike? I'm apparently hardwired to be nice in virtually every situation. And when I do get vocal... God forbid that the other parties have to deal with that. There has to be a book somewhere titled, When Nice People Get Ugly. Suddenly, I don't care. It is almost funny. I'm learning to cut my losses.

I just finished that crazy shawl and I'm rather disappointed in it. It is lovely but really not practical. Very decorative. It would be lovely worn with something yellow. I think, if I make another, and it is so pretty that I probably will, I will make an adjustment to the pattern. I sat down and figured it out. I did run short of yarn and could not finish the last row and no one will actually know unless I tell them. I am going to give this one as a gift. I had planned to do that but didn't really know who at the time. Well, I can't keep everything I make! It would be disaster. And I know someone who will love it. I'm finding crocheting for others is a lot more fun that doing it for me. So, buy me yarn and you might get a gift.

I'm planning my next project. I think it will be a ripple throw in a rainbow of colors. I'm also still working on the squares for Sarah's spread. I don't know when I'll have it finished as I get bored with it and move to something else. I am going to make her some new sweaters over the summer so she will be able to wear them in the winter.

In other news, I've written nothing but a blog here and there. I did start a story intro that simply dried up once I wrote it down. No idea. It just goes in the pile for any possible future use. My crystal ball shows no future in writing so it is doubtful anything will come of it. I've pulled out of virtually all writing pursuits. I find it is another case of "I just don't care". {shrug} The only thing I have left is the local group that is tied to NaNo. I am, after all, the local ML. I'll know more how that it going to play out closer to November. I like meeting with them so I'll continue to do so once I'm over this cursed bug.

My vacation starts next Saturday. I truly need it. I'm leaving for Florida on Saturday I think. I'll be back in about four or five days. I plan on finding a beach somewhere. I'm taking a bottle of tanning lotion, a basket of food, and towels. And my Kindle. That's the plan. I think we do the canoe trip on Monday. I hope for lovely weather. I love that canoe trip. Generally, the creek, is not wrapped up with tourist this time of year and I hope that holds true for this trip.

I must go now. I need to find another crochet project to keep me occupied for a few weeks. I find it is the one thing that keeps my mind centered and I don't have to think to terribly much. You just read the directions for your row, do it, and read the next row of directions, do that, until you're done. I was so sick a few night that I ended up ripping out 5 rows and then had to go back and rip out two a few nights later. That just annoys me to death. Still, I had to do it. It really is a pretty shawl so worth the trouble.

Enough for now. This is a totally useless post. Filled with very little of worth. I figured I should just come out and let those who bother know that I'm still here. Maybe, just maybe I can regroup once I get past this mess and start really posting something worthwhile.

Or not.

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

More Wasted Days

I had about two good days after I saw my doctor and it has been mostly downhill since. I'm so tired and today I've had a headache all day. I am taking my second Imitrex now and hope that will get rid of it. I came home as tired as if I'd worked for two days with no break. The only bright spot is I may have defeated the sinus infection.

I don't know when it became such a chore just to put one foot in front of the other. I can't remember. I don't want to do anything. Even sleep is not good. I wake up as tired as I was when I went to bed. I'm tired of it. I just want to sit down and never have to get up again.

I go back to the doctor the last week of the month. I'm supposed to go on vacation beginning the 18th. I don't know if I will be able to go anywhere. I can't see sitting in the car for 12 hours feeling like this. It just isn't worth it.

Days pass and I don't know what I've done. I don't accomplish anything. I've been working on a shawl for two weeks. Last night I had to pull out five rows of work. I only had about 4 rows left but I did something wrong and didn't realize it until I reached a place that simply did work right. I had to back track visually and figure out what went wrong, rip it out and now I'm working on putting it back right. Normally, it wouldn't be a big deal but it is now. I don't have time to waste repeating work. What brief moments I have of clarity and strength I have to use for what must be done. I can't waste time on hobbies.

I looked at the yard and found a whole section that wasn't cut. So, now people want to cut the yard but only what they don't have to get off the mower to cut. I'll have to be the one pushing the old mower and using the weed trimmer for the places the rider doesn't reach, I suppose? This is ridiculous. Where did the real men of the world go and how did I end up with a bunch wimps? I'm embarrassed to say these people are related to me. I refuse to call them men. I've had nothing but trouble over the yard for years. They are the laziest human beings I've ever seen.

Enough whine. Another waste of time.