Still Alive In Indiana

I just realized that it has been a little bit since I posted anything here. I've been busy. Well, no... I've been sick and busy when I've been able to be busy. I can't seem to shake this virus, although, I am not nearly as bad as I was in March and April. Compared to April 3rd, I'm probably 90% better.

It occurs to me that I've probably been dealing with it since February. I think that it was just after President's Day, when I was dealing with that rash on my ankles, that shortly after I began to experience the problems with the extreme exhaustion around the first of March. I checked my blog and it seems to be the first of March exactly. Now, this is nearly the middle of May. I was sickest from the middle of March until the middle of April. I went to the doctor on April 4th and got medicine, whereupon I began to improve. It it not happening fast enough for me.

I made a mistake of saying, "if you have never had mono, you have no clue", to a woman I work with who knows everything. Of course she knew all about it because her son had it. I said, "I got news for you. Unless you have had it, you don't even come close to understanding." She proceeded to argue with me! Finally, since she's basically a dishonest person, even to herself, who fails to recognize her ignorance on a plethora of subjects, she walked off in a huff. I could hear her telling the story to another coworker around the corner in that whiny voice she uses most of the time, since most of the time she's in a snit about someone making her feel stupid. Since I was very sick at the time, I didn't really care. And I find, as I have felt slightly better, that I still don't care.

You can tell I'm not being so nice these days. I've come to realize that most people take advantage of me in one way or another. I must look like schmuck or there is the general idea that because I'm usually compassionate, kind and will give you the shirt off my back that this means I can be told what to do, how to do it and when to do it by every person who knows me even a little bit. Being as sick as I have been has sort of shone a light on some things. You find yourself alone more when you need help than you do when someone else needs help. If you want money, just give me a sob story. If you want a ride, just give me a sob story. If you want me to sew, cook, or do some other task for you, just give me a sob story. Why has it taken me most of my life to recognize this? And why is it the hardest habit to break? Why not just tell people to take a hike? I'm apparently hardwired to be nice in virtually every situation. And when I do get vocal... God forbid that the other parties have to deal with that. There has to be a book somewhere titled, When Nice People Get Ugly. Suddenly, I don't care. It is almost funny. I'm learning to cut my losses.

I just finished that crazy shawl and I'm rather disappointed in it. It is lovely but really not practical. Very decorative. It would be lovely worn with something yellow. I think, if I make another, and it is so pretty that I probably will, I will make an adjustment to the pattern. I sat down and figured it out. I did run short of yarn and could not finish the last row and no one will actually know unless I tell them. I am going to give this one as a gift. I had planned to do that but didn't really know who at the time. Well, I can't keep everything I make! It would be disaster. And I know someone who will love it. I'm finding crocheting for others is a lot more fun that doing it for me. So, buy me yarn and you might get a gift.

I'm planning my next project. I think it will be a ripple throw in a rainbow of colors. I'm also still working on the squares for Sarah's spread. I don't know when I'll have it finished as I get bored with it and move to something else. I am going to make her some new sweaters over the summer so she will be able to wear them in the winter.

In other news, I've written nothing but a blog here and there. I did start a story intro that simply dried up once I wrote it down. No idea. It just goes in the pile for any possible future use. My crystal ball shows no future in writing so it is doubtful anything will come of it. I've pulled out of virtually all writing pursuits. I find it is another case of "I just don't care". {shrug} The only thing I have left is the local group that is tied to NaNo. I am, after all, the local ML. I'll know more how that it going to play out closer to November. I like meeting with them so I'll continue to do so once I'm over this cursed bug.

My vacation starts next Saturday. I truly need it. I'm leaving for Florida on Saturday I think. I'll be back in about four or five days. I plan on finding a beach somewhere. I'm taking a bottle of tanning lotion, a basket of food, and towels. And my Kindle. That's the plan. I think we do the canoe trip on Monday. I hope for lovely weather. I love that canoe trip. Generally, the creek, is not wrapped up with tourist this time of year and I hope that holds true for this trip.

I must go now. I need to find another crochet project to keep me occupied for a few weeks. I find it is the one thing that keeps my mind centered and I don't have to think to terribly much. You just read the directions for your row, do it, and read the next row of directions, do that, until you're done. I was so sick a few night that I ended up ripping out 5 rows and then had to go back and rip out two a few nights later. That just annoys me to death. Still, I had to do it. It really is a pretty shawl so worth the trouble.

Enough for now. This is a totally useless post. Filled with very little of worth. I figured I should just come out and let those who bother know that I'm still here. Maybe, just maybe I can regroup once I get past this mess and start really posting something worthwhile.

Or not.

A Lack of Sleep

It has been a horribly long day. For the uninformed, from 6:30 Monday morning until 10:30 Tuesday night I had no sleep. I had a rash, according to local medical experts. Ah, the marvels of modern medicine. So, I was scared to sleep all day Tuesday for fear I would not sleep Tuesday night, something that did not present a problem at all as it turned out.

They gave me a cream to be applied every 4 hours and it works well to lessen the itching. No idea what it is.... long name ending in .. sone. Sounds like a steroid to me. They gave me some pills that the insert reported would cause dizziness, blurred vision, and assorted other frightening reactions. It suggested I not drive while taking. I felt it was good advice. I took it when I went to bed. The bottle said 1-3 pills as needed for itching. In light of the reaction list, I also felt it wise to err on the side of moderation. I took one pill. I slept fine and no itching. 

Of course, I was so tired I suspect Gabriel would have suffered a stroke blowing his horn to wake me up. In fact, I had a hard time getting up. I was really sleeping. I got up at 7:30 a.m. and had to be at work at 8 a.m. I was 10 minutes late. I had to stop for OJ and a sausage biscuit. Hey, I gotta eat. 

As soon as I got to work my day went loco. Move briefing at 8:20 and then one client after another until noon. I worked on files and mailed out notices. Lunch was at Captain D's. I don't think I was good company. I really wanted to sleep. My friend, Carolyn drove us to lunch and that was probably a good idea. 

The rest of the afternoon I worked on assorted things. I could barely concentrate and if you asked me what I did, I couldn't tell you. Just paper shuffling.

I stopped by the store on my way home to get some things to eat. I came home and had a salad. Dave brought Sarah home with him for the evening. Then I did dishes, mopped the floor, washed two loads of laundry, all before 8:30.

So that is where I end my day now. 9:58 p.m. and I'm done. I'm going to find my bed. I wonder why we say such things? My bed isn't lost. I know right where it is, right where it was when I got out of it. In fact, I'm going to seek it with joy... well, maybe gladness is more accurate. But that's another post for another day.

A Day in the Swamp

We've had rain for two days now.  Not a soft gentle spring rain. A cold, pouring rain that makes the ground squish when you walk. My legs and hips do not like it, no one little bit.

I was up all night last night. I have some kind of rash on my legs from my ankles to mid calf on the left leg and slightly lower on the right. It itched like mad all night and I was miserable. The only thing that helped was leaving my leg uncovered and with my heat at 60 degrees, that is not pleasant. So tonight I'll have to find a way to stay warm but not let the legs get over heated. The electric blanket made it much worse I think.

I am annoyed that my whole day was a waste. I have had no sleep but there is no way I could work or write or crochet. I lay on the couch like a slug, t.v. shows playing and I can't tell you what I watched! I could have got more editing done but my brain is basically slush.

Tomorrow is Wednesday and after a missed day of work it is going to be horrible. Well, it is what it is, I guess.