Still Alive In Indiana

I just realized that it has been a little bit since I posted anything here. I've been busy. Well, no... I've been sick and busy when I've been able to be busy. I can't seem to shake this virus, although, I am not nearly as bad as I was in March and April. Compared to April 3rd, I'm probably 90% better.

It occurs to me that I've probably been dealing with it since February. I think that it was just after President's Day, when I was dealing with that rash on my ankles, that shortly after I began to experience the problems with the extreme exhaustion around the first of March. I checked my blog and it seems to be the first of March exactly. Now, this is nearly the middle of May. I was sickest from the middle of March until the middle of April. I went to the doctor on April 4th and got medicine, whereupon I began to improve. It it not happening fast enough for me.

I made a mistake of saying, "if you have never had mono, you have no clue", to a woman I work with who knows everything. Of course she knew all about it because her son had it. I said, "I got news for you. Unless you have had it, you don't even come close to understanding." She proceeded to argue with me! Finally, since she's basically a dishonest person, even to herself, who fails to recognize her ignorance on a plethora of subjects, she walked off in a huff. I could hear her telling the story to another coworker around the corner in that whiny voice she uses most of the time, since most of the time she's in a snit about someone making her feel stupid. Since I was very sick at the time, I didn't really care. And I find, as I have felt slightly better, that I still don't care.

You can tell I'm not being so nice these days. I've come to realize that most people take advantage of me in one way or another. I must look like schmuck or there is the general idea that because I'm usually compassionate, kind and will give you the shirt off my back that this means I can be told what to do, how to do it and when to do it by every person who knows me even a little bit. Being as sick as I have been has sort of shone a light on some things. You find yourself alone more when you need help than you do when someone else needs help. If you want money, just give me a sob story. If you want a ride, just give me a sob story. If you want me to sew, cook, or do some other task for you, just give me a sob story. Why has it taken me most of my life to recognize this? And why is it the hardest habit to break? Why not just tell people to take a hike? I'm apparently hardwired to be nice in virtually every situation. And when I do get vocal... God forbid that the other parties have to deal with that. There has to be a book somewhere titled, When Nice People Get Ugly. Suddenly, I don't care. It is almost funny. I'm learning to cut my losses.

I just finished that crazy shawl and I'm rather disappointed in it. It is lovely but really not practical. Very decorative. It would be lovely worn with something yellow. I think, if I make another, and it is so pretty that I probably will, I will make an adjustment to the pattern. I sat down and figured it out. I did run short of yarn and could not finish the last row and no one will actually know unless I tell them. I am going to give this one as a gift. I had planned to do that but didn't really know who at the time. Well, I can't keep everything I make! It would be disaster. And I know someone who will love it. I'm finding crocheting for others is a lot more fun that doing it for me. So, buy me yarn and you might get a gift.

I'm planning my next project. I think it will be a ripple throw in a rainbow of colors. I'm also still working on the squares for Sarah's spread. I don't know when I'll have it finished as I get bored with it and move to something else. I am going to make her some new sweaters over the summer so she will be able to wear them in the winter.

In other news, I've written nothing but a blog here and there. I did start a story intro that simply dried up once I wrote it down. No idea. It just goes in the pile for any possible future use. My crystal ball shows no future in writing so it is doubtful anything will come of it. I've pulled out of virtually all writing pursuits. I find it is another case of "I just don't care". {shrug} The only thing I have left is the local group that is tied to NaNo. I am, after all, the local ML. I'll know more how that it going to play out closer to November. I like meeting with them so I'll continue to do so once I'm over this cursed bug.

My vacation starts next Saturday. I truly need it. I'm leaving for Florida on Saturday I think. I'll be back in about four or five days. I plan on finding a beach somewhere. I'm taking a bottle of tanning lotion, a basket of food, and towels. And my Kindle. That's the plan. I think we do the canoe trip on Monday. I hope for lovely weather. I love that canoe trip. Generally, the creek, is not wrapped up with tourist this time of year and I hope that holds true for this trip.

I must go now. I need to find another crochet project to keep me occupied for a few weeks. I find it is the one thing that keeps my mind centered and I don't have to think to terribly much. You just read the directions for your row, do it, and read the next row of directions, do that, until you're done. I was so sick a few night that I ended up ripping out 5 rows and then had to go back and rip out two a few nights later. That just annoys me to death. Still, I had to do it. It really is a pretty shawl so worth the trouble.

Enough for now. This is a totally useless post. Filled with very little of worth. I figured I should just come out and let those who bother know that I'm still here. Maybe, just maybe I can regroup once I get past this mess and start really posting something worthwhile.

Or not.

A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

What a beautiful day it has been, if a bit cool for my liking. Right now at 5:50 p.m. it is 56 degrees and sunny. 
It was, however, perfect weather to do yard work. Mike and I got out and cut the yard with our new riding mower and all I can say is I wish I'd done that years ago. This huge yard is just too much to cut with a push mower. When I was younger, the exercise was good for me. It would still be good for me when I have good days. In recent months there have not been many. And I am saddened at how many times Jerry struggled to do while keeping his bad heart a secret.

Good news: Let me just say I feel about 100% better than I have in the last three months. I don't know what is in those pills but it is amazing. I think I mentioned that she gave me acyclovir, an antiviral med used in the treatment of shingles, herpes viruses, and chickenpox. I have none of those. They think I've had a recurrence of Epstein Barr. Which I never remember having at all! But she wasn't even positive of that. I believe EB is a herpes simplex related virus so I suppose it makes sense to take a med used to treat HS. I have to take it twice a day until I see her in two months. 

She also prescribed DHEA, an over the counter supplement. There are all kinds of information pro and con but my extremely low cortisol count was her reason for having me take it. I'm to take 5-10 mg but all the bottles I found were over 25! That's crazy. So, I'm cutting it in half and will talk to her about getting a smaller dose bottle. 

However, something has been a shot in the arm, at least today. I'm alert, virtually no pain, no anxiety, lots of energy, and well, just really good. If I can have this everyday I'll make it.

Now that that is done, I'm getting off and and working on my new crochet project.  A pineapple patterned shawl that I found online. It is going to be teal in color. I'll have to post it on Ravelry. I don't go there much but I do have a page. If you're a crafty person, it is a good site to meet other people who share your interests. 

Hope the rest of you have a really good weekend! Oh, had a response for  one of the jobs I sent a resume on. It is a local state job. They say they want me to complete some additional information as I appear to be a qualified applicant. {shrug} We'll see.

Long Journey Through a Short Week.

Never was a Thursday so welcome as this one. I am off until Monday. I plan to sleep late tomorrow and then I hope that I have the energy to do some things around the house. I have several things that need doing.

As I suspected, I have a cold. Could be a bit of allergy along with it. I've been coughing up stuff, sneezing up stuff, and my head is stuffy. When that happens, I have dizzy spells. Around and around we go. It never ends, does it.

I want to do some writing. I'm planning to limit my online presence this weekend. We'll have Sarah for three days and with her here and my trying to do constructive things at the same time, it won't leave much of me left to do anything.

There is a streak of vanity in me. I love pretty shoes and wearing heels. I love basic black and that I look good in it. And I find that I like watching my stats click along. I'm about to go over 25,000. I used to not even notice it because ... well it seldom moved. These days it is moving at a fast clip. I've posted about this phenom before. Most are coming from G+ and I've had more new people commenting. I love it when people comment. Means I didn't waste my time. Of course I don't view  my blog as a waste of time. I do it for me and if someone else finds something to like about it, great. Yet, it is a very seductive to watch those stats. They kind of make you hope for more.

It was an insane day at work and I'm exhausted. The  pills have helped ease some of my stress and I hope I won't need them for long. I just wish I could get past the tiredness. I need to do stuff!

Mike is coming over this weekend end and I'm going to try and put up some of the cabinets. I need them and I'm tied of waiting for the "right" time. It is now. I'll take photos. Those of you who have been with me for years will remember other posts of my home improvement jobs and their interesting outcomes. We usually have success but it is a circuitous route to get there.

May you all have a blessed Easter. Remember the reason is not a warm fuzzy bunny but a Savior who loved you enough to give his life for you. Even at your worst, you matter to Him.

Icky Day, All Day

The weekend was wet and cold and Monday is more of the same. I am home sick today. I don't know what I have...  some sort of stomach virus. I seem to have all the usual ugly symptoms that accompany stomach upset except vomiting. God is good cause that particular symptom never ends well for me. I still feel rather icky. My stomach just doesn't feel very good.

Last night I worked on my WIP a bit. I did some moving of scenes and getting the structure more organized. I actually felt like I accomplished something at one point. It suddenly seemed as if some things were jelling. We'll see. The thing needs a huge rewrite and that terrifies me no end. I'm going to continue to get the random sections from NaNo 2011 woven into it and then see what's missing. I see more writing in my future. I just wish Simon would start his incessant chatter again. I write much better when he just dictates it to me.

I ate scrambled eggs at lunch and some bacon. Well, I was starving by then since I was too sick to eat breakfast. And I felt like my stomach had settled down. However, the eggs didn't set well and I felt worse afterward. In fact, well... never mind. Best not share that bit. Suffice it to say that I could have driven to Florida for free. Must go now. Stomach just doesn't fancy sitting up. I've been lying down most of the day, watching Midsomer Murders. Probably why my writing sounds suspiciously British today. LOL.

Anyway, I'm thinking soup for supper. We'll see. Hope your day has been better than mine.

A Crash Course

Finally, I think I've got my computer back online! I really think it was about ready to crash.  It has taken me the better part of two days to restore and re-install all the updates. I still don't have a lot of software back on but it's OK I think. Most of that I can do as needed. If I don't use it, why put it back on here. I'm leary about putting my writing back on it. Yes, I back things up but you know, after awhile you have so many copies you don't know what's what.

I am exhausted and I did nothing but sit and download updates. Why don't they just put them all on a disk so we can buy it every six months and be done with it? Seriously. The disk are about five bucks! And would help the postal service.

I have to say the computer is running much better and the stuff that wasn't working, even after the repair, are now apparently fine. Nasty bugs.

My one complaint is that Avast, my virus software, just released a new version and it totally shut down my system. I nearly had to restore it a second time. I tried it twice and then searched their website. Apparently I'm not the only one having the problem. I kept a check on the site for two days and someone finally posted that they had AMD graphics and that it appeared to be a conflict with the software. They never got a response from tech but I have AMD graphics. So, I'm using MS Security Essentials for the moment. I'm hoping that Avast will recognize the issue and correct it and release a fix. I have used Avast for over 6 years and never had a problem. I don't trust any virus software made by Microsoft and I'm annoyed by the thought I'll have to purchase one with a annual subscription!

I can tell you one thing, I'm going back to my old method of cleaning the slate every 6-12 months. It may be a couple of days out of my life but is still the best way to insure you keep things running smoothly, and I don't care what anyone has to say about it. That's a lot cheaper than the $150 repair bill that didn't fix it completely. Not their fault, really but think about it. I've never had a computer repaired by anyone else in the 25 years in which I've owned one. No, never. And my computers last about 10 years.

Now, I'm going to get ready for bed. I'm really exhausted. Did I say that already? Oh, yes. I did. See, it's true! I'm ready to crash.