Sniffling, Snuffling, and Snorting

 After three weeks of illness, I'm beginning to feel human again. For three days now, I've sweated like a miner. No idea why, except it may be my body cleaning itself of whatever made me sick. I suspect, but have no verification, that it may have been covid again. That would be my third bout, if so. Since I don't have fevers and the onset was very slow, I just don't know. I had similar symptoms: headaches, fatigue, and some foods tasted off. Last time I couldn't smell for a year but that doesn't seem to be a factor when cleaning the cat boxes.

I actually thought the B1 had stopped working and my fibro symptoms had started again. Turns out I might have been wrong. I'm thankful the worst seems to have abated and I'm feeling better, still somewhat tired but much better. I have a loose cough and am constantly blowing my nose to clear it out. Things are draining. 

I have plans to travel down to Georgia sometime in the coming week, and from there, I'm going to go to Alabama to visit the graves of my great-grandparents and put grave stones on their graves. They've never had stones, although my grandparents do. When the grands were buried, it was a big expense and the family was rather poor. Their vault covers are above ground and one has a crack in it. I wish I could get that fixed but can't afford it. The other is older, rounded top with metal loops that were used to lower the stone in place. It is sad when the graves get in such contition and there is very little family left to care for them even if they were interested. My siblings and I have tried to keep thing clean and in good shape on my grandparents and mother's grave. My brother is buried there now too. He doesn't have a stone either. Maybe later I can do something about that. 

While in Florida, I'm hoping I can visit other family but I'm on a time crunch and not sure how long I can stay. Mike and my sister, Phyllis are taking care of the cats while I'm away. I don't like leaving them so I guess I'm officially a cat lady. 

I've got the laundry done, the floors vacuumed, and the den curtains washed this week. Phyllis won't have to clean house and I have a long list that I need to take care of when I get home. 

I hope everyone else is well. I just read that October will end in a widespread cold snap, so be ready to bundle up.

A Level Field: For Now

Today was an average day. Pain levels were down, except my knees. Depression lessened. No agitation or frustration to speak of. I wasn't ecstatic, but I wasn't mad either. Like I said, an average day. 

We went to church, getting there about 15 minutes late. I don't know why; I think I was trying to get a jacket that wasn't covered in cat hair. Or maybe I took too long on my teeth. Whatever, we got there.

Service was good. Teaching/Preaching was good. Worship service was good. My neighbors were friendly, and the babies were adorable. (There are about three new babies around me.)

I tried to write the last couple of days but I keep getting so sleepy. It's very frustrating when that happens. I can't stop it or correct it because I do not know what is causing it. So, I just walk away. And lie down.

And of course, at this point in the writing, everything sucks. I don't know why that happens either. For a week, I thought it was great. Today I don't want to look at it, let alone read that drivel.  

Tonight, I watched funny videos and shared them on Facebook. I laughed so much but I feel better. 

Jet is sitting next to me on my desk, in the bed I put there for him. When he gets in it, he's much less annoying. I try to remember to pet him now and then, so he gets the attention he craves. At the moment, he's making biscuits. He only does that in this bed. Very weird.

The house is colder because I'm keeping my heat down lower. The utility bills are simply insane here and they want to increase them. I don't know how they think people will keep the power on. My utilities are now about what my house payment is. I feel for folks who are paying more for their house and have even larger bills. 

I'm getting ready to go to bed for the night. I may shut the cats out. They keep waking me up early and I'm not resting well. They seem to think they can't finish their breakfast without me in the kitchen. Jet has begun messing with my water container, which has a lid on it. He knocked over the lamp when I swatted at him about the water. It is a glass lamp, but he didn't break it. I was still angry with him because it was 7:30 and I didn't want to get up. So, I'll probably lock them out tonight. I really hate to do that to them.

Oh yeah, we had snow this weekend. I got up on Saturday morning and opened the kitchen curtains and was shocked to see several inches of snow. As of today, the snow was gone. We may get more in a few days, but for it to stick around, the ground has to freeze. 

I still haven't finished my handbag project! Will work tomorrow on it. I hope.

For now, I'll get off here and turn in for the night. I hope 

Long Journey Through a Short Week.

Never was a Thursday so welcome as this one. I am off until Monday. I plan to sleep late tomorrow and then I hope that I have the energy to do some things around the house. I have several things that need doing.

As I suspected, I have a cold. Could be a bit of allergy along with it. I've been coughing up stuff, sneezing up stuff, and my head is stuffy. When that happens, I have dizzy spells. Around and around we go. It never ends, does it.

I want to do some writing. I'm planning to limit my online presence this weekend. We'll have Sarah for three days and with her here and my trying to do constructive things at the same time, it won't leave much of me left to do anything.

There is a streak of vanity in me. I love pretty shoes and wearing heels. I love basic black and that I look good in it. And I find that I like watching my stats click along. I'm about to go over 25,000. I used to not even notice it because ... well it seldom moved. These days it is moving at a fast clip. I've posted about this phenom before. Most are coming from G+ and I've had more new people commenting. I love it when people comment. Means I didn't waste my time. Of course I don't view  my blog as a waste of time. I do it for me and if someone else finds something to like about it, great. Yet, it is a very seductive to watch those stats. They kind of make you hope for more.

It was an insane day at work and I'm exhausted. The  pills have helped ease some of my stress and I hope I won't need them for long. I just wish I could get past the tiredness. I need to do stuff!

Mike is coming over this weekend end and I'm going to try and put up some of the cabinets. I need them and I'm tied of waiting for the "right" time. It is now. I'll take photos. Those of you who have been with me for years will remember other posts of my home improvement jobs and their interesting outcomes. We usually have success but it is a circuitous route to get there.

May you all have a blessed Easter. Remember the reason is not a warm fuzzy bunny but a Savior who loved you enough to give his life for you. Even at your worst, you matter to Him.

Unsurpassed Tuesday

I think I mentioned I had a head cold yesterday. I woke up this morning sick... really sick. I was seriously off balance and felt if I got up, I'd be dizzy. I was stuffy. My eyes felt like they'd been taken out and put back in backwards. My vision didn't want to work correctly... I don't know what that means. It means everything looked weird to me. My brain felt as if it was sitting in a jar somewhere and I was getting relays from that. 

Does that help any?

I sent a text to my boss that I was sick and wouldn't be in. I rolled over and went back to sleep. I woke at 9:30 and when I tried to get up it was horrible. My brain simply felt saturated from that stuff in the jar and I couldn't focus very well. Mobility was wonky, too, and I was a bit concerned I'd fall. I was dizzy. Had I been taking some kind of meds, I would have thought I was having a drug related reaction. I had not. I only used a nasal spray the day before, the 12 hr kind, and that only opened my sinus up so I could breath. 

My son needed to borrow the car and I had to drive over to his house, about 5 minutes away. It wasn't pleasant. He drove me back and I crash landed on the sofa and did not moved until around noon. The dizziness and visual chaos passed off after about half an hour and I was at least able to read while lying down. But I was still a bit dizzy when getting up for the usual things...bathroom, drink, food. 

I've been drinking a lot because I obviously in need it with a cold. Oddly enough, this could also be a fibro flare on top of the cold. The symptoms of fibromyalgia include all the above except sneezing and stuffy nose. At least, I haven't run across them. But the fog is well known as are the exhaustion, confusion, dizziness, balance problems, and a slew of other things. If it is a flare, it is probably the worst I've had yet and that concerns me. 

On the bright side, the cold has not required a second dose of medicine to allow me to breath. That may be a good sign. I'm upright, breathing, although still stuffed up. My ears are really blocked and my head still feels as if it is sitting in a jar but I can breath. We'll see.

What was I reading? City of Bones, by Michael Connelly. I've never read Mr. Connelly even though he's got a about a dozen books out there. This book was given to me along with two sacks of other books. I picked it up and read the first chapter and I was hooked. Mr Connelly writes well and the story moves quickly, short chapters help. I really like the main character, Harry Bosch and this particular story is really good. It is very good and I'm impressed. I'm half done and it is a large hardback. I will probably read more of his books now. I don't usually read cop books but I do tend to read a lot of books written by men. 

NaNo is three months away. I need to start planning something but under the current conditions, constructive thought is difficult. I have no ideas for any story but then, I usually don't so I won't really get bent until November 1st.

I'm going to stop now. I think I actually need to take a nap. I have to be better tomorrow as I have to go back to work. 

Down Hill to Saturday

I have sort of frittered the week away. Well, maybe not so much. I've done crochet for three nights rather than edit. I needed a mental break and my neck was killing me. I'm going to have to reassess my writing location. 

So.. where does that leave me? The kitchen is just too cold and the chairs are not comfortable either. My living room chair, comfortable at first, for some unfathomable reason, now is not. I think it is the portable table I'm using there that is the trouble. I like the spare room. The desk in the spare room is just too high and I don't have time at the moment to do what needs to be done. Yes, I know what to do, I just don't have time to build a lower frame. That will wait until it is warmer. It is also too crowded at this point to be feasible. 

I can move it to the office where the desktop is located but I've avoided that because the wall needs finishing and I don't want to have to keep hauling stuff in and out. Better to leave it empty. When it gets warm enough to open windows I shall finish it. 

I got my performance evaluation yesterday. I was quite impressed with me! It was a stellar evaluation. I actually feel like someone thinks I'm good at what I do and that I do a whole lot. The boss ask us to write our responses on the back of the sheet but I wasn't about to screw that up. Now, there were a couple of areas I need to improve but overall, I'm good.

I feel... very odd. Yes, I know that sounds strange. But it is true. I've said before that ever since Bro Gary Ashcraft came to our church and prayed for me I've been better mentally. I have, tremendously so. If you've read this blog for any length of time, you'll know this. I still have terrible problems with RA pain. But that's not what he prayed for.. I don't think. When he was about to pray for me he actually told people I had Fibromyalgia and that that disease usually resulted when the central nervous system had more than it could handle. Experiencing the disease and reading the studies, I would agree with that. I mean, for decades it was a non-disease all in a woman's head. However, I never told him I had it. But... the mental fog disappeared in less than a week. The terrible tiredness associated with it was also gone. Yes, yes, I get very tired, exhausted, in fact. But remember, I work 8 hrs a day with Rheumatoid arthritis and most personal friends say I do way too much when I'm not working. I do less than I used to because I hired someone to clean for me. Made an amazing difference. So I'm much better in that sense. Whatever happened, whatever your belief in such things, I am much better. And I'm thankful.

So, the odd part. I just feel strange. I can't put my finger on it. It isn't a bad strange. No. I'd say it is probably a good strange. I am having problems, as I mentioned in a past blog, with my right hip and left shoulder and neck. Lately, I'm having that shooting leg pain. I am telling you this is a nerve somewhere. It starts in the same place every time. But aside from those things, I feel strangely fine.

I've been crocheting as I said. I've made about four squares since Tuesday. Last night I did two. I've got the pattern down now, I think. I am not screwing up as much and not referring to the pattern except when I change colors. Have I said it's a lot of squares? I'm not half done! I finished Jilly's in about three weeks. I see this lasting far longer. 

I do love the crochet. I can't believe I ever laid it down. I forgot how lovely it is to see a pattern grow and become something useful. It isn't like sewing, where it is done in a few days. At least, making the afghans aren't. Smaller items you can but this is a much bigger project. And doing things with thread is a bit more intensive. Smaller thread, smaller needle and finer details. I am just glad I picked it back up. 

Now, if the den will warm so I can get back in there sewing....

I'm going to meet Doug for lunch today. He shot me an email and asked. I haven't seen him in several weeks and it will be nice to talk to him. He's a good writing friend. 

I was thinking this week that the writing has brought me some wonderful friends. Most are online but they are nevertheless truly wonderful. I get these emails that are funny and encouraging or that share some of their own dilemmas or offer advice on mine. I am just so blessed by these people. I hope they know it. I hope I've told them. If I haven't.. I am now.

Gray Matter

Thursday dawned... scratch that. Thursday didn't dawn... it morphed. Everything went from black to a blanket of gray. Heavy fog greeted me when I lifted the garage door. It was cold but not miserably so, in fact, warmer than yesterday and damp. And now, at 2 p.m . it still looks like it did this morning, but the fog has lifted slightly... but it is all gray.

I am still coughing, although less than before and the stuff in my chest has decided to release, allowing my lungs to clear a bit more with each cough. 

Now, my head must be the fountain of youth because my nose is a running spring. I didn't realize you could hold that much stuff inside your sinus cavities. It is horrendous and until this week the nose wasn't even an issue! I blew my nose over the weekend and it went into the Eustachian tube (runs between your ear and throat to allow your ears to drain) and nearly fell over with a horrendous dizzy spell. This is a totally new thing to me. I've never had such an experience as that and and find if I never do again. It took ten minutes for that to pass and for days now I've been having mild balance issues and trouble hearing. Several times the stuff was pushed into my ear when I had to blow my nose. Really unpleasant and I seem to have no way to prevent it...well, I did start blowing in a different manner to try and prevent it - with only moderate success. Although why it is going backwards when I'm blowing forward makes no sense.

Mike is also sick with the same thing. He has a doctor's appointment tomorrow anyway and it is a good thing. 

I have a writer's meeting tonight. I'm looking forward to it and I hope it is productive. Although, I haven't been writing the last two weeks it is always helpful to run ideas by everyone. I think all but one of us will be there tonight. Unless someone backs out.

I sat and worked on Saran's spread last night until about 9:15 a.m. It is going to be really colorful and so pretty. I'm eager to get it finished but at the rate I'm going it is going to be several months. Each square takes me a couple of hours. I'm at the point that I'm finishing one each night and starting a new one to finish the next night. I keep screwing up in the 3rd thru 6th rows. It is a very frustrating because just as I think I've got it, I find I haven't. These rows are very much alike with a very minor change and it throws me every time. Doesn't help that I'm sick and not really able to focus long. 

All right, back to work now. I hope you are all having a much brighter day than I am. Although, despite the impending terminations I'm not sweating it. I can't change whatever happens. I have sat and counted the cost to me if it is me. It isn't good. But I've been through this before and I'm so tired of it that I think I find it hard to react. I've had a lot happen to me since the last time, horrible things that took more than I could ever imagine from me. I find that these days I simply am unable to care about much else. 

Losing your job is terrible but honestly, there really are worse things that can happen to you. If I could have Jerry back in exchange for this job.... I'd willingly walk out. I'd go back to living in crappy houses with no money and not much else. I seem to remember we were happy in those places, even though we wanted better. Sunday will be three years. How empty life has been that it feels as if it were yesterday.

End of a Lousy Week

And good riddance... but it isn't over. I've been sick for five days. I'm still sick. I went to work today but I sure didn't want to. I felt horrible, hacking cough, sore back, shoulders, ribs, chest, head, throat everywhere. The cough is so bad that at times I've had to double over and just hang on to keep my insides inside! At least, that's the way it feels.

I have gotten exactly nothing done here at home. No writing, no crochet, mindless watching of television shows, I did do some reading on, I think, Monday but I can't be sure. 

I'm still taking the cough medicine, generic mucinex DM. I am taking the codeine tonight. I need sleep. I'm exhausted and last night was terrible. I woke myself up several times breathing. It sounded like paper caught an air current... same papery rattle you hear. Awful sound to have wake you... when you have heard a death rattle. It happened several times. 

When I lie down it sound as if cellophane is in my airways. Maybe that's a better way to describe it.

I'm going to stop now. I simply don't have the mental ability to deal with anything in depth.

A Sick Day.... or Two

I took Tuesday off to give me a four day weekend. I had hopes of doing several things... crochet, writing, reading. None of this came to pass... except a little reading today. 

You see, I was ambushed by a cold. It stated last week and I thought it was a just a little cold, over in a few days. Not so. This is the monster cold. I was supposed to go back to work today. I didn't. Instead, I went to the urgent care  this morning at 8 and was given a z-pac (antibiotics) and codeine cough medicine. I'm coughing my head off and feel like seven kinds of crap. Yes, I'm sure there are seven kinds. No, I've not personally seen them but take my word for it I feel like $^!#.

I've lain here on the sofa for the whole day, napping here and there, coughing nearly constantly with such force that I feel my head is coming off. I had a fever when I got to urgent care. Probably why I felt so achy but I ache so often I didn't realize it was a fever.He said I probably have a touch of bronchitis. I've had that before so it isn't surprising. Remember when I went to Florida two summers ago and was so sick I was sure that I couldn't fly? This is not as bad but a close second. I don't ache so much tonight but my throat is raw, my nose is stuffy, I'm still coughing but I took something for that so not so much. When I go to bed I'll take the narcotic cough meds and hope I sleep better. I've had about five horrible nights. I have a doctor's note to stay off till Friday. 

I caught this from someone at work. I wish when they are sick they'd stay in their own office! I have to start being aggressive in prevention measure. May need  a bottle of sanitize on my desk and those bleach wipes to take everywhere I go in the building! 

I know, impossible when you work with folks not to catch stuff. 

I'm done for tonight. Not sure when I'll be back on. 

A Terrible Day

This morning I am so sick. I coughed all night. A storm blew in and the power went our around 11:30 or midnight. I as in bed and I usually have music playing at night for about an hour. I'm usually asleep by the time it goes off so it helps me drift off. It went off abruptly. Rain and thunder and lightening took its place. I had to call Mike on the cell phone to call the power company. The lights on the next street were still on so it was probably just some transformer that was knocked out. I went to sleep. They called at 5 a.m to ask if my power was back on! I pressed 1 and went back to sleep.

My cleaning lady has been away now for two weeks. I'm beginning to feel it. I vacuumed the floors, stripped the bed and flipped the mattress - something I'm thinking I'll feel tomorrow. I have a queen-sized bed. And really it isn't hard to flip them generally... stand it on end, pull the bottom toward you and let it slide. I've done it for years but usually had someone on the other side to stabilize it and push from that side. It can be done alone... but it isn't fun. Still had to be done and it is. I need a new one but have simply put it off. We bought that mattress probably a few years before Jerry died. I'd say it is probably nearly 10 years old. 

The wind is whipping the wind chimes around like mad. They are jingling and jangling steadily. The temps have already dropped to 52 and I suspect they were nearly 70 when I got up this morning. I was dressed too warmly and had to change and now I'm feeling cool. I even tuned off the head for several hours. When I realized the temp had begun to fall I turned it back on but the house is still 70 degrees.

I really feel terrible and when I'm done will probably go find a place to lie down and nap. I am supposed to go back to work tomorrow. I hope I can function. The way I feel now I don't know. At the moment, I'm going to get something warm on as my arms are cold. 

Ta