Showing posts with label fibromyalgia. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fibromyalgia. Show all posts

Friday, October 27, 2023

Sniffling, Snuffling, and Snorting

 After three weeks of illness, I'm beginning to feel human again. For three days now, I've sweated like a miner. No idea why, except it may be my body cleaning itself of whatever made me sick. I suspect, but have no verification, that it may have been covid again. That would be my third bout, if so. Since I don't have fevers and the onset was very slow, I just don't know. I had similar symptoms: headaches, fatigue, and some foods tasted off. Last time I couldn't smell for a year but that doesn't seem to be a factor when cleaning the cat boxes.

I actually thought the B1 had stopped working and my fibro symptoms had started again. Turns out I might have been wrong. I'm thankful the worst seems to have abated and I'm feeling better, still somewhat tired but much better. I have a loose cough and am constantly blowing my nose to clear it out. Things are draining. 

I have plans to travel down to Georgia sometime in the coming week, and from there, I'm going to go to Alabama to visit the graves of my great-grandparents and put grave stones on their graves. They've never had stones, although my grandparents do. When the grands were buried, it was a big expense and the family was rather poor. Their vault covers are above ground and one has a crack in it. I wish I could get that fixed but can't afford it. The other is older, rounded top with metal loops that were used to lower the stone in place. It is sad when the graves get in such contition and there is very little family left to care for them even if they were interested. My siblings and I have tried to keep thing clean and in good shape on my grandparents and mother's grave. My brother is buried there now too. He doesn't have a stone either. Maybe later I can do something about that. 

While in Florida, I'm hoping I can visit other family but I'm on a time crunch and not sure how long I can stay. Mike and my sister, Phyllis are taking care of the cats while I'm away. I don't like leaving them so I guess I'm officially a cat lady. 

I've got the laundry done, the floors vacuumed, and the den curtains washed this week. Phyllis won't have to clean house and I have a long list that I need to take care of when I get home. 

I hope everyone else is well. I just read that October will end in a widespread cold snap, so be ready to bundle up.

Friday, September 29, 2023

A Little Light On the Subject

 


Today, I finally got the new solar light put on. It is on the post of my front porch facing south, which is along the front of the house. I also removed one of the older lights that doesn't work anymore and "fixed" one of the newer ones. 

I have two of these particular lights and they've been a problem staying functional. I usually turn them off and then back on and it works for a while. The nuisance is that I have to use a ladder. That requires a spotter to keep it steady.

At this point, my house has lighting on the east, south, and west. I can walk from the north east corner, along the west facing front, turn left at the south west corner and go toward the east, along the track side, then at the south east corner, turn left again and walk the entire length of the back of the house and lights will come on all the way. It's kind of nice. I'm never scared to go out by myself at night but I'm not stupid. It could be dangerous. Now, I feel better about it. And the lights cost nothing to run. I try and check them regularly by walking around the house after dark. 

 I have no light on the north end, the garage end, and it is difficult to get sun to charge a light there so solar doesn't work well. I may have to get a light that plugs in inside the garage. Not sure. I don't want to pay a bill but the garage side is a dark area at night. The south side of the house now how two solar lights that are very bright and motion detect. This was probably the darkest spot on the property because the railroad is there and a lot of trees and bushes on the siding. So, it could be a bit scary if I had to go out at night. My air condition is there and so is the breaker for it. I don't know why they put it there but they did. 

Tomorrow I'd like to get the other bird house up. I have one on the front and was going to put the other on the back but now I think I'll put them both on the front and get two more for the back. I'm trying to make my feathered friends welcome because the more birds you have around, the fewer mosquitos you have on your property. I want to put up my bat house too but haven't found a way to put it up. It needs to be high and obviously not attached to the house. And it needs to be not facing the north. I need a really tall pole. 

I've been feeling much better since I began taking the B1 supplement. If you don't know, B1 has been shown in at least 2 studies to help fibromyalgia. I decided to test it. I read the reports, bought the pills, and took the theraputic dose for two months. Virtually all my fibro symptoms stopped. Muscle pain dropped, my brain fog disappeared, and I'm not nearly as fatigued. In fact, some days I have a tremendous amount of energy. A very weird but positive side effect was all cravings for sweets disappeared. I've had that for most of my life but now, I have no trouble passing it up. There is also data for that. It actually helps your body process sugar. My doctor was so shocked she looked it up while I was sitting in her office. 

I haven't written much but I've started back at it. I've been making list. I think I mentioned this in a privious post. I have to jot down what needs doing because there is so much, I forget it before I can get to the next thing. I've become a lot more ADD than I used to be. I never thought I had ADD but now, I'm not so sure. 

So, that's Friday done. I hope that those who read my blog, enjoy it. I know it is pretty boring most of the time and others full of drama. But that's Life on the Ledge where I live. 

I hope you all have a great weekend. Be blessed and be kind. 


Sunday, September 24, 2023

Dream Big & Make It Happen


This post will probably be short. I've spent the weekend taking care of my sister, Phyllis. She has minor surgery on Friday and stayed with me until today. She went home a few hours go. It's always nice to have some company. I only have company from the Amazon delivery person, my son, Mike, and his girlfriend, Amanda. My sister comes by once in a while, but she still works and is pretty tired by 5 p.m. 

If you have a friend who spends a lot of time alone, you will notice when you are with them they talk a tremendous amount. This is because they're starved for human interaction. If you aren't suffering from this malady, please be kind to that person. We are by nature social creatures and when you're forced to be alone constantly, human interaction is like candy to a 5-year-old. It goes straight to the brain. I'm always exhausted after these social events. I'm an introvert, so I require solitude to recharge from social interactions. That doesn't mean I enjoy being alone constantly.

 Next Monday we begin the last quarter of 2023. I can't believe we've gone almost a year now. It's so crazy and with all the crazy stuff happening is unbelievable. 

Tonight, I'm feeling better than I have in a while. I think I've been resting better and getting more sleep. I still have to take a nap sometimes in the afternoon, but if it helps, I'm fine with it. The B1 seems to have helped me with the fibro symptoms far beyond what I expected. And the 10 lb weight loss was unexpected, too. I think it is something to do with B1's effect on sugar metabolism. 

My to-do list has not gotten shorter in the last week, well, sort of. I have accomplished a few things and marked them off. However, I just added other items to it. Still, it helps to see that the list changes. I don't feel I've totally wasted time.

I need to let anyone who is uses subscription to this and the other blog feeds that the feed has changed. FeedBurner isn't doing feeds anymore, at least, I don't think so. There were problems with it, so I switched to Follow.it. There is an icon on the home page. 

Tonight I watched videos of Sarah, my granddaughter. If you've been around this blog for a while, you know Sarah. I had a bunch of them on YouTube but took them down, preparatory to moving them to another site. However, I'm nervous of this with so many pedophiles cruising the web for images of children. It is a disappoint that you can't even share the joys of your life without demonic creepers sticking their horns in your business. I could make them where only subscribers could access but that won't fix the problem. 

Plans tomorrow: 

  • Put up the second bird's house. 
  • Take down the non-working solar lights, put up the new one. 
  • Spray herbicide on the fence line, since the moron who owns it won't clean it out. 
  • Clean up the garage and get rid of some junk (I can dream) 
And before anyone goes off the deep end from a trigger, I'm not able to cut out the vines and 20 foot tall poison ivy vine that takes up 10 foot of that privacy fence. It isn't MY fence. It is on the other guy's property. However, after I've done this, I suspect not much will grow on that line. At least I can hope. The people behind me put up a new fence a couple of years ago. They tore my fence down without telling me. "It was a cattle fence!" she said. But it was MY cattle fence. I didn't reply. 

Anyway, they too are letting stuff come up in their fence. I will not clear it. If they want it destroyed by bushes, that's fine with me. Or I may also run the poison along that fence too. I do hope they have nothing important planted near it. 

I am TIRED of lazy junkyard neighbors that bring down the property values.

For now, I'll stop. I hope, dear reader, that the coming week is a blessing for you and yours. Be kind, be generous, and be safe. 




Thursday, December 13, 2018

Wednesday Rant 10/12/18

I just needed to vent, I guess. Sorry if you're bored or annoyed but I feel ever so much better! There is some kind of hiccup about two minutes in and the audio is out of sync. I've tried to fix it but it was so time consuming I got aggravated. May do that later but hey, this is just for friends and family anyway.






Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Aching Calves & Brain Tweeks

Is is only Tuesday night? Really?

I've had severe pain in both calves for three days and I have no idea why. I have not walked in at least a week because I've either been exhausted, it rained, or I've been so busy I didn't get time. Sunday I had trouble walking. I could hardly walk yesterday and today, for most of the day, it was horrible. I see my primary doctor on Thursday and will address it with her. The weekend was rushed, as you should have read in a previous post. So, here we are at Tuesday. The only positive is Friday is two days away and vacation a few weeks.

Mike's birthday was Sunday and we all went to church and then to lunch together. Both my sister and I had diarrhea afterward. We both had clams. We eat at this restaurant a lot and never had this issue. Very odd... and unpleasant. I still had a problem on Monday.

I bought Mike a new smart t.v. for his birthday and he bought himself a stand for it. Dave and I went over to help him set up.I wish I had not. I don't want to go into detail but let me just say that the people on Hoarders are real people. They exist. I went back to Mike's tonight to help him get started cleaning up. This is going to take awhile. It is very stressful.

I'm tired and about to go to bed but I have spent some time tweaking my writing blog tonight. It is an old blog that started life as something else.  I like what I'm doing with these writing challenges the group has done. I'm writing more these days than I have in a long time. My efforts to limit my time on less productive pursuits has allowed me time to walk and the walking has stimulated my brain. I have to tell you that the cemetery walks have begun to feed me ideas and that's always a fun prospect. I feel more ready for NaNo than I've felt in several years. Now if I can just get the kick-off set up!

So, with that, I'll say good night.

Thursday, April 4, 2013

Plethora of Miscellany

I'm home today. I took two vacation days off from work because I haven't got enough time to be sick. I'm still sick. But I did sleep until nearly 9 today. I'm going to lunch in a minute.

I'm considering job hunting. I need to call around some places first and see how that's going to hit me financially. It will be a huge drop in income. And benefits. I've got 5 weeks of vacation a year, 14 paid holidays, 2 personal days a year, and 2 weeks sick time per year. I will lose all that and take probably a 50% pay cut. Not to mention, a retirement plan that they pay 8% a year on. I really need this job but this job is a good chunk of the problem. And it is going to get worse with staff cuts.

Here's what we think is happening. We believe they are trying to force people out so they can restructure the jobs with less benefits, less pay, and fewer people. In a this kind of job, if all staff in one job leave, they can re-post those jobs for less money and benefits. Our agency is a high performer in with HUD. This means we're never late on our submissions to HUD. That's what you want to be. However, if you cut staff, your ability to stay at the high levels decreases exponentially. During a recent meeting with the ED, I specifically asked what happens if we're so short staffed we can't continue as a high performer. I pointed out with the promised cuts in staff, that would probably happen. The ED said, HUD would step in and administer the program. That means everyone in my department would be gone completely. HUD would come in, take over, at no cost to the agency, and then at some point, the agency could restructure the department and rehire at reduced administrative cost.

If you google corruption in federally assisted housing, you will find it is a highly abused program. Across the nation agencies are consistently misusing funds and those in charge are frequently the culprit.. This is to the determent of those receiving the assistance as well as the people employed. Having worked in the industry for 15 years, I can tell you, fraud is not that hard to detect if there are checks in place to flag it. But honestly, it is an easy system to manipulate if no one watches.  Here's a HUD report of how prevalent the problem is. http://www.coburn.senate.gov/public/index.cfm?a=Files.Serve&File_id=641349c1-4667-4c9b-9bf9-1ec5b52ccd5d

And past scandals abound: http://www.downsizinggovernment.org/hud/scandals

So, maybe it is time for me to consider something else. I would so miss the luxury of all that time off. I'd be working more for less. I don't know if I can do that. Not anymore.


I'm still having trouble with exhaustion, dizziness, headache, muscle pain, joint pain, ringing in my ears, and anxiety. I've been going to bed 9-9:30 nearly every night. I sleep. I'm better the first four hours of the morning and then I come crashing down. I may have a few hours in the afternoon when I feel o.k. but I generally get very sick in the afternoon.

This has been going on for a month now, progressively worse. This week... on Sunday I told the boys I felt like I was dying. They weren't happy with the assessment. I'm not thrilled either.

So, what to do. Nothing. If it is fibro, there's nothing they can do. It is RA, there's nothing they can do. I see my RA doctor in two weeks. I called my primary and they'll see me today at 2:15 but I'm suppose to go to the bank at 3:30 and close on my house! We'll see.

Did I mention I went to the Y with Dave on Tuesday night? I managed 30 minutes on a bike. I had leg cramps that night and the Wednesday. No, I didn't use resistance. I just got on and peddled at a leisurely pace while reading.

I am hoping to get my head clear enough to writing some over the weekend. I simply don't know. It has been such a nightmare for weeks trying to do anything.

Now for lunch. I should have time to go grab a salad before my doctor's appointment around 2. I can sit and read for a bit maybe. I'm already feeling tired and I've done nothing.


Tuesday, March 26, 2013

A Patch

I've reached my limit. I've had a horrible month. I anticipate this time of year being difficult for me but I expected more around the first of the year, the anniversary of Jerry's death. I was so busy it slipped by unnoticed for a week or more. So, I guess it just caught up with me.

Instead, in the last two months, I've simply been on the slippery slope where I was physically ill with a variety of things. In February, I had a rash on my ankles and legs that I have no idea what caused it but that cost me several nights sleep and a trip to the urgent care. I had pain in all major joints, was unable to walk without limping for days, was not sleeping well, even with medicine. I had increased ringing in my ears, more lost sleep, coughing, sneezing, and now, pain in my hands.

 I've been struggling with pain in my hands the last couple of days that was so bad I was having trouble working. I do tons of data entry. I write. My hands are my living. And they were in bad shape. Tonight, they are better. I asked people to pray for me and I started putting some medicine I use on other major joints on my hand. I still have pain but not nearly as bad. I am hoping by tomorrow that the pain will be gone.

And then there has been the last three weeks of overwhelming exhaustion that had me barely able to get through a day at work without falling out. Some days I had to simply find some place and put my had down because I was so tired I couldn't hold it up. By the time I dragged myself home I was in tears because I was so tired I couldn't bear it. It is a tired that you can't begin to imagine. No, you can't. I can't imagine it either. And when I lay down I could not rest. Things hurt.

The sheer volume of what I'm dealing with has become unbearable. I simply can't take it anymore. The proverbial brick wall lies in shambles from the impact. And when my mind starts reasoning that what I'm doing is not living, but dying slowly, in pieces, then I know I'm in a bad place. It is a road I've traveled several times and it ends on a ledge overlooking a bottomless pit. You're too tied to do more than stare down into it and think about how very easily it would be to just close your eyes and lean over and let go. It isn't going to get better.

I came home from work today and took Ativan. They prescribed it for me when Jerry died. I was on it a couple of months. It is amazing stuff but I stopped taking it after a while because it is highly addictive. I have enough problems without an addiction. I've taken them a couple of times since then, for about a week at a stretch. But I still have maybe 25 pills. Tonight I started again. This is the point at which addiction is a very minuscule issue.

No, it isn't a fix. I've decided nothing can be fixed. It's nothing but a patch.





Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Lessons Learned, Now Pass the Caffeine, Please

Last night was my online writers' group and I think we all had a really good time. Lots of talking and laughing by everyone. Topic covered "magic". Basically, what is magic and how do you write it. The discussion centered around the difference in magic and science. Seemed to be a topic they all felt very strongly about and it is probably why it generated such lively discussion.

We also discussed the Roaming Paragraph, which in this instance people hated doing my assignment. Too many rules and much harder to write. However, I think it went well and the ending satisfied most of us. I always learn something from these RPs. No one else does but I always take something from it. 

What could I possible learn from the experience of the RP? Well, let me see. 
  • Point of view is very crucial. Finding the right POV may not be easy but is necessary if the story is to feel right. 
  • Multiple POV is a juggling act that must be managed carefully or you should stick with a single POV.
  • Transitions are something a good many writers pay absolutely no attention to. They simply don't check to see if they made it clear. I think this is because it is "clear" to the writer. That's not good. So, must watch my transitions with more care. I have multiple POV in my WIP (work in progress).
  • First person doesn't lend itself well to multiple point of view characters. 
  • Third person works better for M-POV if the transitions are kept in check. 
  • I am more comfortable writing in 3rd person POV.
  • After this experience, I think I need to get rid of some of my POV characters in my WIP. Or at least, not let them be a POV charcter.
  • People don't like rules. They balk and the more complex the rules, the more they balk. 
  • When forced to follow rules they don't like, people may not learn from it and they'll complain that the rules are the problem. They may refuse to follow them.
  • You can learn something from anything you do... if you choose.
  • When you can laugh at yourself about your mistakes, they don't seem nearly as bad as they did when you made them. I made a big one at the beginning of the RP. Only one person knew and generously kept quiet. I elected to tell it. It is quite liberating admitting your faults. And it allowed everyone to laugh with me rather than at me.
  • Never let a challenge go unmet, even if it seems too hard.
So, what else have I learned this week? 

I'm exhausted. I have been for nearly two weeks. I feel absolutely drained, a mind numbing tired. I'm having a hard time at work and at home focusing and doing things. It feels suspiciously like a fibro problem. I don't have huge amounts of pain anywhere in particular but I have lots of aches all over and feel as if I've not had any sleep. My neck and shoulder especially bother me.

When I'm like this, writing is practically impossible. Even doing this blog is taking far more concentration than it should. I have no idea what to write about and what I have written is simply a rambling narration. Boring. 

I do better with caffeine in me. I have to go buy some of my coffee. Mike bought coffee for me over the weekend and he bought decaf. Yes, yes, yes, I know all the spiel about caffeine. Thank you. I have one cup a day. Fibro is like a blow to the head. At the moment, and all day yesterday, I could not function well. Even felt sick until after lunch when I had a Panera salad and Acai tea, lots of it. The afternoon went much better and I felt more alert. This morning, I'm still not really very alert and it is 10 a.m. 

So, need something with caffeine? I think so.

Thursday, November 29, 2012

In the Still of the Night

I was headed to bed and decided to stop in for a quick post. I've had a long day and I'm tired but I still don't feel well and I don't know if I can sleep.

I saw my doctor today. Actually, my pain levels were a bit better but I went in anyway. She wants me to try Cymbalta for the pain. I'm leery of this as I never know what a medicine will do to me. There are only two medicines I can take for RA. One is Plaquenil  which I currently take, and the other is Methotrexate  a common RA/cancer drug. She wants to consider starting me on that but she's holding off because you have to run so many test when you take that one.

I'm allergic to sulfa and apparently, ALL RA medicines contain sulfa. What's that about? I'm surely not the only person allergic to sulfa. So, if those two medicines do not work for me what then?

Cymbalta has numerous side effects. My friend took it for 5 weeks and had to stop because she started bleeding from "everywhere" she said. It apparently is also a blood thinner. Wonderful.

I saw on the flyer about it that migraine medicines can't be taken with it. Ah, that's really nice as I have severe migraines and take a med for it when I have one.

So, while the doctor offered some ideas, there appears to be nothing they can do for me in reality.

I have to finish reading the flyer and check with the pharmacy to see if there is anything else I take that would conflict with Cymbalta. Do not assume your doctor knows this stuff. They do not always know. I've had more than one give me a med that can't be taken with another med I was on. I always ask the guys handling the meds. That's what they're trained for.

G'nite. At least it is Thursday tomorrow. Two more days to get through.



Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Wrecked Week

I've had a horrible couple of days. My pain has skyrocketed to the point that I thought I was going to be sick last night and have to go to the ER. I never remember hurting this bad before. I've sent a message to my doctor's office asking if there was anything they could do but I haven't heard a word yet. I may not until tomorrow.

I'm so far behind in my word count for NaNo that it is impossible for me to ever catch up at this point. Even if I felt all right I don't think I could do it. I am working all week and by evening, I'm fairly wiped out. I had a write in last night and got a lot done but  the cost was high. I was very sick when I go home. I have another tonight but if things don't improve, I doubt I can do it. There is a final one on Friday evening unless everyone is finished.

Am I disappointed? I don't know. I don't think so. Things have been so bad lately that it is hard to feel bad about not winning. It would be nice to do it but I'm beyond caring now.

I haven't been blogging as much but I've been when I've been able, I've been working on NaNo. Blogging just hasn't been on my agenda. In fact, I wrote a post last week just before the holiday and forgot to send it. I did that today so there will be two post for today but actually there is only one. I told you things were crazy.

I'm going to work till noon today but I may go home and not come back the rest of the day.

Sleep on the Ledge

This has got to be one of the most hectic months that I can remember. And I have been more tired than I ever remember. I'm so tired all the time I can barely move and yet I have to move. I have to be at work by 8, get off at five and on nights I have a write-in I'm out the door by 6 and home again around 9.  I've slept late every day for the last several weeks. Fortunately, I've managed to get up and dressed and out the door in time to get to work, usually five minutes late. I don't know what's up with that. It could be the stress level is too high I suppose and my body and mind simply are not able to keep up.

NaNo is nearly over and honestly, it probably is over for me already. I don't see making even 20,000 at this rate. I just have no story and I'm so tired at night that I'm not really able to think enough to write. 

I know I say I'm tired a lot. It probably sounds nutty. But honestly, there is no describing this tired. You never feel rested. Always I feel as if I need to go to bed. It has been a long time since I actually woke up without having an alarm clock wake me up. I'm using two alarms now. Even when I've slept I'm only able to go about 4 hours before I feel like I need sleep. 

One more day this week and I will have 4 days off. I'll do some writing but I am going to try and get all the sleep I can and see if it helps. I will be spending lunch with the boys and my sister and Sarah on Thursday but after that, I'll spend the weekend alone.Each year I have hoped that some of the pleasure I always got at this time of year would return. This year I think I realized that it isn't going to happen. I do not feel there is a point to it. All the traditions I kept alive have disappeared and the effort to do traditional things for my own entertainment is simply not worth the disappointment. 

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Running Down To Friday

It has been a long week. Not much going on at my house as it is too hot to do anything outside. Inside, I've simply sat around and read or watched movies. I've had Sarah a couple of nights this week for a few hours. She's always fun to have over and that time belongs to her.

Writing? Here and there. I'm not fond of anything at the moment. I thought I'd get another Mist chapter done but I'm once again assailed by the fact that I don't really like the story. It needs so much work even if I were done with it and to not care about it makes it that much harder. I think it shows in places that I'm not vested. There are some  parts I really like but overall, it isn't a story I really wanted to write. Like all exercises, it hasn't really been fun. 

I've got some more ideas for Simon's story and want to get them down soon. I also have a bit for my church ladies story. So, I have stuff to do.

Biggest problem is the exhaustion. I've been simply buried under it. I've been going to bed progressively earlier this week to see at which level I feel most rested. Someone posted a chart on FB this past week that showed all the effects of Fibromyalgia. I have most of them. /O\ Not good. Anyway, it is the litteral mind numbing tired that is worse than anything else I deal with. I'm barely functional by the time I get home. 

David started a new job this week. He's installing television and internet cable for a local company. It is minimum wage to start and then goes to commission afterward. He thinks he'll do well with commission. Hope so. It will be by the job then. 

That's about it for now, I think. I hope everyone has had a good week. If you have any spare rain, please send it our way. It is so hot and so dry here. Beautiful blue sky with fluffy white clouds and unbearable heat.  Rain would be lovely.


Sunday, June 17, 2012

Morning Aches

I had intended to go to church this morning and take Sarah with me. She spent the afternoon here and was going to spend the night. She was up at 3 a.m. and wanted to go home. I don't know what the problem is. She said I snore but I doubt anyone snores louder or more terrible than her dad and she sleeps in their room! She used to spend the night a lot on weekends but just stopped. 

Anyway, I woke up to a bad headache, my back felt wrapped in a vice, neck hurts, and walking was difficult. I'm going in a moment to get a hot shower to see if it will loosen things up a bit. I so wish I had someone to rub my back. That "locked" feeling is the worst thing. All the muscles simply won't move without resistance. 

It has been miserably hot, so much so that you can't be outside. No rain again for days. What little we got has simply evaporated. I need to water the flowers but going for the hose is misery. I'm thinking of moving the sprinkler into the front yard and simply turning it as needed. Whoever cuts the yard can simply move it around. That would save me a bit of effort. 

I'm still meeting with my writing friends online in the g+ hangouts. That works so well! Very much like getting to meet face to face without all the bother with deserts and special clothing. Well, we do wear clothing but I can simply slip on my most comfortable PJ's and I'm ready. I've enjoyed these hangouts a lot and if you haven't tried one, you should. 

OH! Forgot to mention. I bought an HDMI cord for my computer and can now link it up with my television. It is very cool really. I can watch all sorts of videos on my television now via Youtube, Hulu, Netflix or any other source. Mike and I use the same Netflix account and I pay half so that helps him. I was doing HULU but most of the content that I got was the same thing as nonpaying. Only difference was I could put most of it on the t.v. The content was still very limited. Netflix has much more content and so far everything can go on the t.v. 

I'm going to watch the season 4 finale to Dr Who (David Tennant), The End of Time. I haven't seen it. I'm dreading it a bit as I just adored him as Dr. Who. The reviews I read about it say it was a very sad show. I just spent the last several weeks watching all the seasons he was Dr. Who. I  used to watch them when they were on but for some reason I stopped. I think it was the night it came on was a conflict for me. Anyway, I'm going to see the finale today. It is 2 hrs long! May have to watch in parts.... You know that death stuff really upsets me and this is a favorite character. 

All right, got sidetracked and now an hour has passed and I'm still aching. I'm going for the hot shower now. 

Sunday, April 22, 2012

A Positive Outlook

I overslept. I sat up too late, as usual when I'm more or less a slug. I sat around and did nothing yesterday. Only left the house to go eat and came right back to my chair. I read off an on but mostly just wasted time. It annoys me. It is as if my mind belongs to someone else and they've taken my body hostage.

Sarah came over late and watched t.v. while I just sat. She did cut up with me a bit but mostly we both were slugs. Well, she's only 5 so it is a bit unusual for her.

Today it is cold and I'm stiff and achy. So, when the clock went off, I didn't respond very well. And now I'm feeling very guilty about it.

Because... I don't want to be this way. I want to jump out of bed, awake, feeling good, and be out and doing something that means something. I don't want to have no energy, stamina, and interest.

It is just one of those weekends where I've given hours of my life away. I know part of it is the weather but I keep feeling like it is my fault. I should just get up and move. Then, my body informs me that it simply doesn't like what I'm asking. Today, my hands and feet are bothering me but it is mostly just this tired. I was doing well most of the week. Beginning to get to bed earlier and get more, not better, sleep. I could tell it was working. I blew it the last two nights. I simply have so little time when I can do my own thing, a weekend is not enough, and so I sit up too late. Just like I did for years. Before I was given this fibro curse.

I am going to get dressed. I am going to get lunch. I am going to read something besides blogs. Maybe doing it will give me a more positive outlook.

If I can just get up.



Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Another Long Day

I got nothing done today. My day started with an interview with the scheduled audit. I was interviewed by the Nan McKay team for an hour and a half. In fact, I was the only case manager they did interview. I think it was the most comprehensive interview about policies and procedures I've ever seen. I got asked everything... even things I didn't want to be asked. I left the interview to lunch and came back and managed to get some items mailed out and then had to pull folders for file auditors coming next week. We have to pull more tomorrow.

Over all, I think this audit is about more than how we do things. But we will see.

I've had indigestion for days again. I'm taking meds for it. I get flare up of it every week or so and once it settles down I'm fine for a bit. I suspect I'm in a fibro flare as I've had muscle pains, extreme tiredness, and the indigestion.

I'm headed off to bed now after an evening of pretty much nothing. I watched two t.v. shows and cruised a bit and I'm done. Tomorrow is Thursday so still two days before I get a break.

Loraine had to reschedule. It isn't a problem for me so we'll meet on Friday.


Saturday, February 11, 2012

Misery and Bitter Cold

It is 18 degrees and the wind has been insane all night. That low pressure we had was pushed out by a high pressure system the sun is shinning finally but no way am I getting out in that!

As a result in the shifting pressures, Friday night's editing plans went down the tube. The weather turned vicious... to me anyway. By 9 p.m. I was hurting nearly everywhere and my neck and shoulders were the worst. I found a chair I could sit in in the living room and I managed to get a position that wasn't too bad but I couldn't believe how much I was hurting in so short a time! And there was nothing to take that late. The generic tylenol only last 8 hours. I'd have woken in the middle of the night in pain.

I am going to take it this morning, however. I'm hoping, as the high settles down that I will get better. I went to bed I think around 11. All I did was read. I'm up this morning at 10 and in about half an hour I'll pay bills then I hope I can start on the real work.