Answers on a Cup

 For over two decades, I've lived in almost constant pain. Real, I can't move pain for over 20 yrs. It went from bad to worse. And some days, I tell God how very tired of it I am. I just want it to stop.

 It doesn't, and neither do I. 

I enjoy being here, but I hate being here on days when so much fog clouds my brain that I can't think, write, or wash dishes. Days when I can't hold my hairbrush, walk without feeling like there's gravel in my feet, bend my knees, or simply sit in a chair on pelvic bones that feel like they've been hammered. And then there's the nerve damage in my arm and the carpal tunnel in both hands. 

On those days, I'm not happy. I'm not mildly annoyed either. No. I'm so angry I could punch walls or scream. One would hurt me and the other would get me arrested.  I also want that annoying person to experience what I'm feeling so I can give them the same treatment I'm getting. 

So, I'm furious on those days and avoid contact with as many as I can, even my family. Being nice is the most difficult thing in the world on those days when pain is using a stone to pound me into the ground. 

Add all that to my family that experienced their own pain. For example, Mike had a kidney stone and then a stroke. Phyllis has her foot in a boot from a near amputation, and David was laid off (he got another job). All that happened in the last 60 days. 

We all got problems, right? 

But today, the pain is less. The sun is shining. And for the moment, the world has not intruded on my psyche. So, for today, as the cup says, I'll just be happy and hope tomorrow is the same. 

What am I saying! I hope the next two hours are the same! 

May your day be pain free. However, I am available to listen if you wish to rant, cry, or whine. Because we should never walk away from someone else's pain.  

 

Another Unproductive Day - At Least I Wrote

 I sit here, wishing I could get my head clear and recover some energy. No matter how much sleep I get, it seems I’m always short. I need to do some real writing but can’t focus enough to do anything productive. I’ve been doing crochet and I enjoy it but even that is difficult. I had to rip out rows last night several times and recount stitches. I finally gave up around midnight. Frustration was high because I rarely have to rip out that much. 

Until recently, I wasn't aware that in crochet they refer to ripping out stitches as FROG. I don’t know why. When I looked it said when you rip out stitches, people think it sounds like a frog saying Ribbit. I will have to pay attention next time. To me, it sounds like wasted time. 

I’m still practicing on this iPad keyboard I bought. It works well, although a bit small. I frequently hit the wrong keys, and the backspace is difficult to reach. It’s close by, just incredibly tiny. Still, I notice I’m getting better at it. I miss my documents here. I can write but anything I’m working on is on the PC. Still would like a laptop but my money won’t go that far these days. 

What I should do is exercise. My body is going to lose any ground I made when I went to the gym regularly. I can already tell some of my strength has declined. 

I have been studying my Bible more and trying to pray more. I missed church on Sunday because I overslept. I’m so tired all the time, and that’s worrisome. I can’t shake the fatigue. Whether I sleep five hours or 10, it doesn’t seem to matter. I wake up tired. 

I’ve been drinking Tart Cherry juice for a week now. I do have less inflammation than I had a month ago, but I took steroids for three weeks. Of course, I didn’t get a tremendous amount of relief from that. I was still pretty fatigued, and I had joint swelling. Right now, I have no pain to speak of, not even the hand that usually hurts. I’d been having a lot of pain in my hand prior to this last week. Even steroids didn’t seem to help with that. The hip pain that had driven me to ask for steroids went away after I finished the steroids, but it took several days. 

I hope and pray the juice works as well as the hype says it does. So many things haven’t worked. I’ve experimented so much on myself out of desperation that I am considering adding “lab rat” to my resume. 

I believe I am done with this post now. I have done nothing, so I have nothing to write. Sarah will be home on Saturday and I’m glad. I cleaned the house on Tuesday and hurt my back and my other hip. I can't vacuum and sweep. They just kill my hips and back. Once finished, I have to rest for hours until the pain lessens and I have no energy left for the day. 

So I wish you a blessed day. Keep in touch, please. It’s a comfort to know people are out there. I don’t know why you stopped by, but I thank you. There’s less loneliness when I write. And if I see someone else was here, it lifts my spirits. So thank you.

A Little Light On the Subject

 

Today, I finally got the new solar light put on. It is on the post of my front porch facing south, which is along the front of the house. I also removed one of the older lights that doesn't work anymore and "fixed" one of the newer ones. 

I have two of these particular lights and they've been a problem staying functional. I usually turn them off and then back on and it works for a while. The nuisance is that I have to use a ladder. That requires a spotter to keep it steady.

At this point, my house has lighting on the east, south, and west. I can walk from the north east corner, along the west facing front, turn left at the south west corner and go toward the east, along the track side, then at the south east corner, turn left again and walk the entire length of the back of the house and lights will come on all the way. It's kind of nice. I'm never scared to go out by myself at night but I'm not stupid. It could be dangerous. Now, I feel better about it. And the lights cost nothing to run. I try and check them regularly by walking around the house after dark. 

 I have no light on the north end, the garage end, and it is difficult to get sun to charge a light there so solar doesn't work well. I may have to get a light that plugs in inside the garage. Not sure. I don't want to pay a bill but the garage side is a dark area at night. The south side of the house now how two solar lights that are very bright and motion detect. This was probably the darkest spot on the property because the railroad is there and a lot of trees and bushes on the siding. So, it could be a bit scary if I had to go out at night. My air condition is there and so is the breaker for it. I don't know why they put it there but they did. 

Tomorrow I'd like to get the other bird house up. I have one on the front and was going to put the other on the back but now I think I'll put them both on the front and get two more for the back. I'm trying to make my feathered friends welcome because the more birds you have around, the fewer mosquitos you have on your property. I want to put up my bat house too but haven't found a way to put it up. It needs to be high and obviously not attached to the house. And it needs to be not facing the north. I need a really tall pole. 

I've been feeling much better since I began taking the B1 supplement. If you don't know, B1 has been shown in at least 2 studies to help fibromyalgia. I decided to test it. I read the reports, bought the pills, and took the theraputic dose for two months. Virtually all my fibro symptoms stopped. Muscle pain dropped, my brain fog disappeared, and I'm not nearly as fatigued. In fact, some days I have a tremendous amount of energy. A very weird but positive side effect was all cravings for sweets disappeared. I've had that for most of my life but now, I have no trouble passing it up. There is also data for that. It actually helps your body process sugar. My doctor was so shocked she looked it up while I was sitting in her office. 

I haven't written much but I've started back at it. I've been making list. I think I mentioned this in a privious post. I have to jot down what needs doing because there is so much, I forget it before I can get to the next thing. I've become a lot more ADD than I used to be. I never thought I had ADD but now, I'm not so sure. 

So, that's Friday done. I hope that those who read my blog, enjoy it. I know it is pretty boring most of the time and others full of drama. But that's Life on the Ledge where I live. 

I hope you all have a great weekend. Be blessed and be kind. 

Dream Big & Make It Happen

This post will probably be short. I've spent the weekend taking care of my sister, Phyllis. She has minor surgery on Friday and stayed with me until today. She went home a few hours go. It's always nice to have some company. I only have company from the Amazon delivery person, my son, Mike, and his girlfriend, Amanda. My sister comes by once in a while, but she still works and is pretty tired by 5 p.m. 

If you have a friend who spends a lot of time alone, you will notice when you are with them they talk a tremendous amount. This is because they're starved for human interaction. If you aren't suffering from this malady, please be kind to that person. We are by nature social creatures and when you're forced to be alone constantly, human interaction is like candy to a 5-year-old. It goes straight to the brain. I'm always exhausted after these social events. I'm an introvert, so I require solitude to recharge from social interactions. That doesn't mean I enjoy being alone constantly.

 Next Monday we begin the last quarter of 2023. I can't believe we've gone almost a year now. It's so crazy and with all the crazy stuff happening is unbelievable. 

Tonight, I'm feeling better than I have in a while. I think I've been resting better and getting more sleep. I still have to take a nap sometimes in the afternoon, but if it helps, I'm fine with it. The B1 seems to have helped me with the fibro symptoms far beyond what I expected. And the 10 lb weight loss was unexpected, too. I think it is something to do with B1's effect on sugar metabolism. 

My to-do list has not gotten shorter in the last week, well, sort of. I have accomplished a few things and marked them off. However, I just added other items to it. Still, it helps to see that the list changes. I don't feel I've totally wasted time.

I need to let anyone who is uses subscription to this and the other blog feeds that the feed has changed. FeedBurner isn't doing feeds anymore, at least, I don't think so. There were problems with it, so I switched to Follow.it. There is an icon on the home page. 

Tonight I watched videos of Sarah, my granddaughter. If you've been around this blog for a while, you know Sarah. I had a bunch of them on YouTube but took them down, preparatory to moving them to another site. However, I'm nervous of this with so many pedophiles cruising the web for images of children. It is a disappoint that you can't even share the joys of your life without demonic creepers sticking their horns in your business. I could make them where only subscribers could access but that won't fix the problem. 

Plans tomorrow: 

• Put up the second bird's house. 
• Take down the non-working solar lights, put up the new one. 
• Spray herbicide on the fence line, since the moron who owns it won't clean it out. 
• Clean up the garage and get rid of some junk (I can dream) 

And before anyone goes off the deep end from a trigger, I'm not able to cut out the vines and 20 foot tall poison ivy vine that takes up 10 foot of that privacy fence. It isn't MY fence. It is on the other guy's property. However, after I've done this, I suspect not much will grow on that line. At least I can hope. The people behind me put up a new fence a couple of years ago. They tore my fence down without telling me. "It was a cattle fence!" she said. But it was MY cattle fence. I didn't reply. 

Anyway, they too are letting stuff come up in their fence. I will not clear it. If they want it destroyed by bushes, that's fine with me. Or I may also run the poison along that fence too. I do hope they have nothing important planted near it. 

I am TIRED of lazy junkyard neighbors that bring down the property values.

For now, I'll stop. I hope, dear reader, that the coming week is a blessing for you and yours. Be kind, be generous, and be safe.