After Midnight

 We are still covered in snow. I have a glacier in my yard but managed to clear about 5 feet to get the car into the garage without sliding into the yard. It still slips but not as bad.

Side roads are just a mess. I haven't been out except for physical therapy. The back and leg problems persist. I had a steroid shot in my left hip on Tuesday. It's sore, but gradually getting better. They also reduced my Cymbalta back down from 60 mg to 30 mg. Side effects as usual. Now I'm having other side effects with the drop. Can't win.

I finished the first draft of the Dream Stealer Series: Book 1: Where Dreams Begin (working title) and began Book 2: Eye of the God (also working title). Feel so strange to say that. 

I'm exhausted tonight. It was a horrible day, and the night doesn't look good either. I'm struggling with some things. Can't go into it here. I don't want to go into it in my head either. I haven't been blogging because I've been writing for hours a day, every day. I stop to go to appointments and church, but with the hip and leg pain it's difficult to go much other than that. Around the house it takes longer to do the things that need doing, if I can do them. So, I've been doing them when I felt like it. Laundry in a basket on the couch for three weeks. All sheets and towels. Finally, put the towels away, but it's time to wash again. 

Truth is, I'm tired, y'all. Tired of everything. I said I wanted to get in my car and drive until the road ends. Maybe at the end, I can sit and not think or feel or do anything. 

Yeah, sounds like death. 

No, sounds like peace. But I don't really want to leave yet. Not sure how to handle it when both staying and leaving are unattractive. Kind of stuck in the middle. So, I had to make a decision that worked for me to just keep moving forward to an expected end. That's from Jeremiah 29:11. 

“I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.” 

I've taken some hits in the faith department in the last seven months. No idea what is expected, and I certainly have no more expectations of anything. I've gone on autopilot and someone else can fly this bucket. I wasn't joking when I said I was tired. I'm beyond tired. And I don't want to think. I've thought too much since October. 

What I want is my brain quiet unless it's important or related to the story. Rehashing my life choices isn't important. I can't change them. Making plans was never my strong suit, and I am not doing that. I can get a travel agent. 

I think that's why I've been writing like an insane person to the point I've flared that damaged nerve in my left hand. Burns like mad. And yet, here I am, writing after midnight. Writing helps divert thoughts that would pour out like lava after I get into bed. They leave me in an ash heap. By morning I'm dealing with the fallout. 

Don't say stop thinking. If it were that simple, I wouldn't be exhausted and awake. I've tried scripture mantras, prayer, medicine, and teas. And yet, here I am, writing after midnight. 

The good news is that I've written 11,232 in six days. Insane. I'm taking more breaks, though. Eight-hour shifts of writing have nearly crippled me. So I'm trying to get up more often and walk around the house. Too dangerous to get out with ice everywhere.

The weekend is right there. Try to have a good one. Stay warm. Stay upright. Stay safe. 

Fasting but Who's Praying

 The visit to my endocrinologist on Monday went well. No problems with the adrenal glands, but my thyroid is low. I don't have a problem with the thyroid at this time, but he said I may unless we can head it off. I don't know if he realizes just how old I am.

So, he wants me to try intermittent fasting with a six hr window when I can eat. I'll do18 hours when I can have no food at all, not even a popsicle. The window is from 11 a.m. - 5 p.m. or I can do 12 noon - 6 p.m. It didn't matter to him, but he said the second one would mean I wouldn't be hungry when I went to bed. How little he knows.

My only concern is that when I've fasted in the past, sometimes I get sick. I think medication causes it. And I can't stop taking these. 

I began this trip today. Well, technically, after supper last night. I wasn't starving this morning. I didn't feel great, but I got to eleven before I had breakfast. A piece of sausage, a slice of bread, and a glass of milk. It was delicious. I've been drinking more milk because some meds still irritate my stomach, and it helps. Tonight, I'd love a cup of cocoa. 

The good news is that during the six-hour window, I can eat anything I want. I suppose it needs to be healthy. Before COVID, I lost 20 lbs doing intermittent fasting with exercise. I don't know whether I'll be able to exercise. I'm having a terrible time with the fatigue. In the last two days, I've averaged 11 hrs a day sleeping. I am always tired. Always.

David moved back home this weekend. He's working on knocking out some bills and helping me. I am blessed to have sons who look out for me.

Mike is still having stomach problems. They've stopped one of his medications to see if it's causing the problem. The doctor said they've run every test and can't find anything else. It's something he's taking or IBS. I'm guessing IBS. But I'm praying it's medication. 

So, that's the week past. I hope for a better one this week for you and me. 

 

You'll Be Fine

 Do you ever feel uninspired? It's like you're listening for something and no one is talking. This has been happening for a bit and it has become very frustrating. 

To be fair to myself, I haven't been well. I've had a lot of pain and my sleep pattern became a roulette game. I'd sleep for four hrs and wake up. Then, I'd try to fall back asleep but couldn't. Or I'd get up and be up for a couple of hours and have to go back to bed. One day I slept for 12 hours! I was still tired. It was awful and the sleep disorder probably contributed to my pain levels, for which I had no solution.

I prayed, read my Bible, and sat in my chair watching videos for days because I was too tired to do anything else. Well, one day I did wash clothes and put them in the spare room. Yeah, some are still there. Another day, I vacuumed the den. Another day, I swept the kitchen. 

So, I emailed my doctor, and she told me to come in. 

We talked and finagled with my meds a bit, and I have an ultrasound on the 12th to see if my gall bladder needs to be taken out. I suspect it does because I've been having some unusual pain for over a year that no one could explain. About a month ago, I finally looked it up, and it sounded like gall bladder problems. The doctor sent me for lab work. 

I got a note to say the lab work all looked normal. However, I'm not one to take things at face value. Four or five tests were out of the normal range. I always research my blood work if something is out of the normal range. What does it test and what does the number signify? Turns out they could show a gall bladder problem or kidney problem. There were long explanations, but I won't go into all that. I understood the assignment. It required further study. Apparently, both organs can affect one another. More interesting was that a gallbladder problem can cause fatty liver.  

That's interesting because a couple of years ago they found I have fatty liver disease. That shocked the technician because at the last scan, my liver was fine. They told me whatever caused it was sudden, not something that happens with fatty liver.

Hmmm. 

No, I'm not a doctor or a nurse. I just read ridiculous amounts of material and research everything. I learned the hard way that I have to do this with my medical issues. Believe it or not, doctors can't know everything and even if they do, they can't recall it all. They can also overlook the obvious. So, I just save them the trouble. If I see a concern, I call their attention to it. They don't argue with me, either. 

I told my doctor about my suspicions when I saw her and why. My mother, aunt, both my sisters, and a brother all had their gallbladder removed. The doctor said that sometimes this happens in families. 

"I don't want to have my gallbladder removed. I have enough going on without adding something else."

She said, "It doesn't take long, and it's only a few days' recovery time." 

😶

I didn't say it. But I'm immunosuppressed and will need to be off meds for at least two weeks. The lack of medication will cause a higher level of unmanageable pain. I can't take opioids. Oh well. 

😒

Another Unproductive Day - At Least I Wrote

 I sit here, wishing I could get my head clear and recover some energy. No matter how much sleep I get, it seems I’m always short. I need to do some real writing but can’t focus enough to do anything productive. I’ve been doing crochet and I enjoy it but even that is difficult. I had to rip out rows last night several times and recount stitches. I finally gave up around midnight. Frustration was high because I rarely have to rip out that much. 

Until recently, I wasn't aware that in crochet they refer to ripping out stitches as FROG. I don’t know why. When I looked it said when you rip out stitches, people think it sounds like a frog saying Ribbit. I will have to pay attention next time. To me, it sounds like wasted time. 

I’m still practicing on this iPad keyboard I bought. It works well, although a bit small. I frequently hit the wrong keys, and the backspace is difficult to reach. It’s close by, just incredibly tiny. Still, I notice I’m getting better at it. I miss my documents here. I can write but anything I’m working on is on the PC. Still would like a laptop but my money won’t go that far these days. 

What I should do is exercise. My body is going to lose any ground I made when I went to the gym regularly. I can already tell some of my strength has declined. 

I have been studying my Bible more and trying to pray more. I missed church on Sunday because I overslept. I’m so tired all the time, and that’s worrisome. I can’t shake the fatigue. Whether I sleep five hours or 10, it doesn’t seem to matter. I wake up tired. 

I’ve been drinking Tart Cherry juice for a week now. I do have less inflammation than I had a month ago, but I took steroids for three weeks. Of course, I didn’t get a tremendous amount of relief from that. I was still pretty fatigued, and I had joint swelling. Right now, I have no pain to speak of, not even the hand that usually hurts. I’d been having a lot of pain in my hand prior to this last week. Even steroids didn’t seem to help with that. The hip pain that had driven me to ask for steroids went away after I finished the steroids, but it took several days. 

I hope and pray the juice works as well as the hype says it does. So many things haven’t worked. I’ve experimented so much on myself out of desperation that I am considering adding “lab rat” to my resume. 

I believe I am done with this post now. I have done nothing, so I have nothing to write. Sarah will be home on Saturday and I’m glad. I cleaned the house on Tuesday and hurt my back and my other hip. I can't vacuum and sweep. They just kill my hips and back. Once finished, I have to rest for hours until the pain lessens and I have no energy left for the day. 

So I wish you a blessed day. Keep in touch, please. It’s a comfort to know people are out there. I don’t know why you stopped by, but I thank you. There’s less loneliness when I write. And if I see someone else was here, it lifts my spirits. So thank you.

A Little Light On the Subject

 

Today, I finally got the new solar light put on. It is on the post of my front porch facing south, which is along the front of the house. I also removed one of the older lights that doesn't work anymore and "fixed" one of the newer ones. 

I have two of these particular lights and they've been a problem staying functional. I usually turn them off and then back on and it works for a while. The nuisance is that I have to use a ladder. That requires a spotter to keep it steady.

At this point, my house has lighting on the east, south, and west. I can walk from the north east corner, along the west facing front, turn left at the south west corner and go toward the east, along the track side, then at the south east corner, turn left again and walk the entire length of the back of the house and lights will come on all the way. It's kind of nice. I'm never scared to go out by myself at night but I'm not stupid. It could be dangerous. Now, I feel better about it. And the lights cost nothing to run. I try and check them regularly by walking around the house after dark. 

 I have no light on the north end, the garage end, and it is difficult to get sun to charge a light there so solar doesn't work well. I may have to get a light that plugs in inside the garage. Not sure. I don't want to pay a bill but the garage side is a dark area at night. The south side of the house now how two solar lights that are very bright and motion detect. This was probably the darkest spot on the property because the railroad is there and a lot of trees and bushes on the siding. So, it could be a bit scary if I had to go out at night. My air condition is there and so is the breaker for it. I don't know why they put it there but they did. 

Tomorrow I'd like to get the other bird house up. I have one on the front and was going to put the other on the back but now I think I'll put them both on the front and get two more for the back. I'm trying to make my feathered friends welcome because the more birds you have around, the fewer mosquitos you have on your property. I want to put up my bat house too but haven't found a way to put it up. It needs to be high and obviously not attached to the house. And it needs to be not facing the north. I need a really tall pole. 

I've been feeling much better since I began taking the B1 supplement. If you don't know, B1 has been shown in at least 2 studies to help fibromyalgia. I decided to test it. I read the reports, bought the pills, and took the theraputic dose for two months. Virtually all my fibro symptoms stopped. Muscle pain dropped, my brain fog disappeared, and I'm not nearly as fatigued. In fact, some days I have a tremendous amount of energy. A very weird but positive side effect was all cravings for sweets disappeared. I've had that for most of my life but now, I have no trouble passing it up. There is also data for that. It actually helps your body process sugar. My doctor was so shocked she looked it up while I was sitting in her office. 

I haven't written much but I've started back at it. I've been making list. I think I mentioned this in a privious post. I have to jot down what needs doing because there is so much, I forget it before I can get to the next thing. I've become a lot more ADD than I used to be. I never thought I had ADD but now, I'm not so sure. 

So, that's Friday done. I hope that those who read my blog, enjoy it. I know it is pretty boring most of the time and others full of drama. But that's Life on the Ledge where I live. 

I hope you all have a great weekend. Be blessed and be kind. 

First Post of 2023! Happy New Year!

 And here we are! A new year, 2023! My 2022 ended on a pleasant note. 

For months I've been battling a deadly fatigue. In November, on a return trip from Ohio to visit my son and family, I fell asleep at the wheel. I woke before disaster struck, but it terrified me. I didn't understand why I was so tired. On my trip there, I was so sleepyI could hardly stay awake but thought it was my allergy pill. It wasn't.

I kept thinking the sleepiness problem resulted from a new medication my doctor gave me and so kept moving meds around trying to find a solution. Nothing worked. When I say I was sleepy, I was falling asleep on my feet on some days. More than once I've had to tell my son, Mike, that I had to go to bed immediately and left the room. Once in bed, I pass out. So, after falling asleep at the wheel, I contacted my doctor. 

As of December, I knew I'd be going back to Ohio for a week and had to get to the bottom of it. I contacted my sleep apnea doctor, and they told me my "numbers" showed that my mask was leaking badly and since they recalled it, I needed to come in and get fitted for a new sleep mask. 

I did. After three days, I was no longer getting sleepy and was more alert. A trip to my Primary care doctors days later and she restructured my medication doses to night. Within a week, I felt amazing and could do things I could not do for months because I couldn't stay awake. I could even write the narrative for my church's Christmas program and record it so they could play it in the program. I couldn't believe the change.

December 26, I drove to Columbus, Ohio to spend a week there with Sarah, my granddaughter. We had a wonderful time visiting thrift stores, eating out, going to a movie and visiting the Conservatory there. She is amazing and such fun. It was like old times, when she lived with me. I didn't get to spend as much time with the rest of the family because they were in Florida on a vacation. (It's a long story, but Sarah was supposed to be somewhere else and it fell through and couldn't be added to the trip at the last minute. I was "babysitting".) 

When I drove home this past Tuesday, I left at 5 a.m. and the weather was horrendous. Pitch black and pouring rain. Traffic was difficult, but since it wasn't rush hour, not too bad. My biggest problem occurred because the lines on the highway were so worn I couldn't see them in the storm. Terrifying since there are no street lights on highways anymore. However, I took my time driving 60 mph. When I got to Cincinnati, traffic had worsened, but the rain was getting better and the sky lighter. I pulled off for breakfast around 7:30, just past Cincy. 

My next stop was about 80 miles from home. I stopped at Loves Truck Stop for a break and to get a drink. After that, I didn't stop again until I parked in my garage. It was around noon. 

The rest of this week has been a slower pace. I've cleaned a little each day. While I was away, Mike came and babysat my cats. I have three, in case you didn't know. He did a good job of keeping things tidy. However, dust and cat hair still rule when I'm not here. So, I've been cleaning one room at a time and washing rugs and vacuuming floors. Tomorrow, the living room and my bedroom are the last I have to do. 

So, here we are. A new year. I pray it will be a good one, but I hold little hope for the world. I trust in God to see me through. May He watch over you as well. 

In With a Fizzle

  2021 rolled in with a razzberry. I'm not impressed at this point. I hope your New Year started well.

I've actually done a lot this week. On Monday, I vacuumed the den and living room, washed three loads of laundry and put it away, made my bed, and cleaned cat boxes. I straightened up things that were a bit disarrayed with Mike staying here last week. He kept things neat and cleaned up after himself well.

Tuesday, I was pretty much a couch potato. The Monday marathon took its toll and sapped my energy. Today, a beautiful but cold Wednesday, I'm even more tired and I have some stomach issues. I always have the stomach issue for a couple of days after I take my Humira shots. I took it Monday so it is par for the course. I should be fine tomorrow. 

I have to pick up a few groceries today or tomorrow. Honestly, I get so tired of preparing food! You'd think I'd lose weight. But I enjoy eating. 

This week, I'm considering setting up a plan for myself. I get so little accomplished and my mind is so disorganized, I can't seem to focus on things. Perhaps if I create a plan, I can stick to it and see some progress. 

Won't be today. I've been so tired all day and did nothing at all up to this point. I have to go get Mike soon, so he can go to the store for me. Another job I hate! 

The only positive I feel lately is that I'm reading my bible and doing my devotions more faithfully. I've had some really great blessings and felt much better about some things that were bothering me. 

This is short and I don't see where I complained as much, so I hope you don't find it boring. 

Have a wonderful week. I really need to work on making this more interesting. (And proof read.)

Covid 19 Arrived at My House

 Mike and I caught the bug. Yep. But we survived! We've been sick for about a month, as far as we can tell. It could be 6 weeks. We thought we had sinus problems, but this got worse until we were coughing. We thought a cold. Then came body aches and nausea. We realized late that we had no taste and smell. Well, I did. I had some taste, but it was all nasty. Soda tasted like cough medicine, a nasty one. So did orange juice. Milk was delicious! 

And through it all ran a fatigue that we could not recover from. So we've slept. Both of us slept off and on for days. Today, we're still fighting the fatigue. I average getting about one thing done a day. Today, it was my hair and getting clothes out of the dryer. That's it. Our bedtimes are roughly 8-9 p.m. and even if I get up at 6, I'm back in bed asleep from 10-noon. A week ago, I'd be in bed again from 3 to 5 p.m. It's been monstrous..

Let me say there are people far sicker than either Mike or me. Mike was sicker than I was, and he coughed far more and far worse. We're still coughing, but it is getting better. 

I bought electronic feeders for the cats and got them the day I tested positive. I was so sick. There is a video on YouTube if you don't believe me. I had people telling me to go to the hospital. So, I couldn't set them up right away. It allows me to schedule 4 feedings and I don't have to get up at 5 a.m. They're working beautifully. I got them set up yesterday and the cats, a bit stunned initially, are adjusting to a machine that feeds them. I reloaded this evening and am ready for the next 24 hours. So much easier than worrying about feeding too much or too often. 

I'd write more, but I'm tired just from this much. I hope you all have a lovely holiday with your loved ones. I'll be at home having a sandwich. Mike is coming over to "hang out". Maybe I'll fix Hawaiian meat balls. 

Neither of us really cares. It isn't much of a holiday for us. 

Happy New Year... Late

We made it! I wasn't sure for a moment there but we arrived, only a little worse for wear.

My I've been away for a while. I've sort of fallen off the grid with this particular blog. To be honest, I've been ill for months, since November, with a hideous cold. I won't go into great detail but NaNoWriMo started in November and things were going well until about the second week. I had a cold that got worse and required antibiotics but despite that, it blew my NaNo to bits. Had it not been for my co-ML and another participant, I don't know what I'd have done. By the first week of December, I thought I was better.

That lasted a week and I was down again with a second round of the cold. This required a second round of antibiotics and I had to come off all of my RA meds for three weeks. I was sick until the first week of 2017. I began to feel human again. But the last several weeks I've battled fatigue that has made it impossible to do anything for more than a couple of hours a day.

I've been trying to write more if I can stay well and awake enough. I told a friend recently I was ready to give up on my writing. It is depressing to sit down and find that you can't think and you don't know what to do or even how to do it. I've been writing all my life and to reach this point is very discouraging.

I discovered over the holiday that Google Docs has a voice typing feature. My computer has a program installed just for that purpose and I've tried it a few times but it just wasn't very good. I could buy a dication program but they are ridiculously expensive and the reviews all say similar things about the inefficiency and need to extensive training. So, this morning I did a short session with Google Docs using the voice typing. I was astounded. It was error free. The biggest drawback was that I am ignorant of the commands to make edits. I'm going to go check for those and see how well it performs. I'm kind of excited about the idea because some days I am not well enough to sit in a chair for a few hours but I think it might be possible to write if I could voice type. We'll see.

As I said, I've done nothing this year so far. We're 15 days in and I've only about 500 words to show for it and a couple of bedrooms switched around. Sarah decided she wanted the full-sized bed instead of the twin. Frankly, it is better in her room. The twin fits better in the smaller room and I'm going to get it set up as a play area for her. She still doesn't like her dolls in her room and they can now have their own space and she'll be able to play with them much easier. They'll even have some drawers for their clothes.

I have plans to do some traveling this year. I don't know about very long trips. My problems with my RA and the fatigue are very inhibiting. I'm kind of afraid of getting off somewhere and being too ill to drive home. Driving with the fatigue is very scary. I had to go someone a week or so ago and it was terrible. I was terrified I'd have an accident because I was unable to focus well. I'm a good driver and never had an accident or a ticket but this was so bad I knew I had to get out of the car. I came home and immediately crashed in my chair for three hours. I slept so hard I felt drugged when I woke up.

Okay, think that's enough for now and it gets me started. I really ought to get a plan for blog posts. I don't think more than a half dozen folks really read this blog but at least it keeps me writing. It was always just a journal and several times I've considered closing it. But it gives me a place to just natter on about the trivial life I live. Sometimes people comment and I  love that. The other two blogs are more directed and I find it easier at times to post there than here.

I hope those of you who are reading have a wonderful new year, wherever you are and however you celebrate. I pray for blessings and grace in your life and may you have only great joy this year and beyond. Thank you for coming by and I hope you'll return. If not, Happy New Year anyway.

More of the Same

Things have been rather slow since I got back from Arkansas. My RA has been at near peak performance for months and I've grown a bit weary of it. A good day here and there is never enough relief. The barrage of storms that continue to roll across S. Indiana are a constant source of pain and the pain keeps me exhausted.

They are once again going to adjust my Cpap machine to try and reduce my apnea events. Obviously, I'm having too many. Is this why I'm tired? Who knows. I'm in constant pain, usually moderately severe. I sleep in pain and I wake in pain. You don't rest like that. So, I don't know if the adjustment will help.

And no, the Humira has not helped. They said six months to see a change. I'm 3 months in. Very little improvement, if any, is noted. In fact, I see signs of things worsening. I'm gaining weight because I can barely walk most days and have less strength in my legs and arms. Jars present Olympic challenges. Any work performed robs me of days of energy.

Reading is difficult because concentration is bad. Writing is difficult for the same reason and my hands hurt. Sitting hurts my back after long periods but walking hurts my hips. I actually feel better mentally when I can get some exercise if joint pain doesn't make it impossible to bear.

This has been a year of hell. I'm not usually a quitter but I've stopped fighting. It isn't going to get better. I don't want to think about what it is going to become.

Wanted: A Mountain Cabin & Two Bad Dogs

The vampires have been sated. They took about five vials of blood. I followed doctor's instruction and simply got up, dressed, and went. I hurt everywhere. It is astounding because I have not hurt this much in years. But I've given my blood to find out what is wrong. I hope that is enough sacrifice.

I actually had trouble sleeping. I took my medicine but drinking coffee apparently has a counter effect. Go figure. I wanted coffee. (See below.)

I've spent most of my time off reading and unsubscribing from things. I'm eliminating the excess baggage. It is time to eliminate the things that are counterproductive to my well-being. This morning I've been praying for insight to that end. Maybe everything should go and I should start over with more positive pursuits. After reading up on this adrenal fatigue, there is some hope to correct at least some of the physical problems. Clearing out one's life can be healthy. I always liked it when the Army moved us. I loved starting over with new friends, places to see, and things to do. It was like a second chance every 4 years. That's very liberating. 

I went through a period of wanting to throw away everything after Jerry died. Every three months for a year I did a stem to stern cleaning and hauled out truckloads of junk. I was horrified at the piles. I have photos to prove it. I am feeling that same need now. The junk isn't all material but is junk nonetheless. I'm hoping tomorrow will dawn sunny and warm and there won't be a lot of pain and I can clean some junk out of the house, the material stuff. My problem will be that I'm only good for about 4 hours before I crash and burn and for the rest of the day I may only be fully functional for about three hours total, and not consecutively. 

I looked up Adrenal fatigue. I never heard of it. Thanks to my friend, Nancy, I know a bit about Cushing's Disease but not adrenal fatigue, which is not Cushing's but both are caused by problems with the levels of the adrenal hormone, cortisol. And apparently they both wreak havoc on the body. Here's a list regarding adrenal fatigue I found on a site called Women to Women. They are eerily familiar.

Symptoms and health risk of sustained cortisol levels:

• Lightheadness & salt craving
• Fatigue and weakness
• Suppression of the immune system
• Muscle and bone loss
• Moodiness or depression
• Skin problems
• Hair loss
• Autoimmune disorders
• Insulin resistance
• Thyroid imbalance
• Weight gain
• Insomnia
• Aches and pains from inflammation
• Lower sex drive

Sustained high cortisol levels are dangerous because they:

• Slow down healing and normal cell regeneration.
• Co-opt parent molecules needed to make other vital hormones
• Impair digestion, metabolism and mental function
• Interfere with healthy endocrine function
• Weaken your immune system

There are apparently things I can do. They tell you and basically the same thing my doctor told me is what I have to do. 

• Avoid gluten — a protein that many women with adrenal imbalance may be sensitive to.
• Eat adequate protein at every meal — important for energy and stamina.
• Eat within an hour of waking — helps restore healthy blood sugar levels.
• Eat healthy fats.
• Eliminate all "white" food – refined sugar, flour, and grains, at least temporarily.

Now, I just have to get the blood work results and see what's really going on. But based on what I've read this is what fits all the problems I am experiencing.

Oh... and I have to avoid all the things I'm dealing with in my life...

Things that make demands on the adrenal glands:

• Lack of sleep
• Work stress
• Personality conflicts
• Yo-yo dieting
• Relationship turmoil
• Reliance on stimulants like caffeine and carbs
• Digestive problems
• Too much exercise
• Illness, infection or surgery
• Unresolved emotional issues
• Overwhelming responsibilities at home

Yeah, that's gonna be easy. I'd get me to a nunnery but I'm not Catholic. But a cabin in the mountains has always had an appeal. I used to tell Jerry that we'd retire to one. There'd be one road in and one road out and a couple of very bad dogs roaming the woods. The image is always in the back of my mind. 

I have to go now. Just had a dizzy spell and feel sick. I've been up since 7 a.m. and it is nearly 11 a.m. now. That's 4 hours. Right on target.

My heartfelt thanks go out to all those praying friends who have responded to my requests for prayer. I've made many this week. Despite all the medical knowledge in the world, I know where the only solution to any problem lies. When I can't help myself, I know He does. 

Skewed Plans

Ah... no lunch as planned. Bank got the docs early and I went in to sign them. Closing done and all debts consolidated. So... I can get laid off without fearing a total disaster... well, a much smaller one than previously anticipated anyway.

I have a good doctor. She's really good and thorough. I have to be at the lab before 8 tomorrow for blood work. She's checking me for Epstein-Barr, adrenal hormone levels, DHTC(?), and something else but etc, etc, etc. She thinks is is possible that the steroids they put me on may have led to this problem... whatever it is. Apparently, they can mess with your adrenal hormones and cause you system to go wonky. I'd say it is wonky. The ears.. didn't look quite right so maybe a sinus/allergy issue. 

So, I visit the vampires in the morning... before daylight, of course. 

She told me just because she didn't know what was wrong didn't mean something wasn't wrong. 

My doctor is wrapped very tightly but she has these flashes of humor that surprise me. I suspect outside the office she's very funny. I suspect the emotional distance may be just her way of  remaining professional. By the time I was done, I didn't feel I was going crazy and she gave me a website to check out to make me laugh. LOL, really.

It is a relief just to not feel I'm crazy or over reacting or causing this.

On an odd note... she talked about my last blood work... two test they do for the sedimentation rate in the blood to detect RA... they had different results. One positive  but not really high and the other was normal. I was surprised and asked her, What does that mean!"? She said, "Good question." She's not the doctor treating me for RA. However, if I lose my job she may very well be. But one was not very high and the other was normal? 

I'm home now... feeling lousy for the most part but at least I'll have fewer bills this month. And I have three more days off.