I can't believe how long it has been since I put something out here. February 6th seems so long ago. I've been pretty sick with bursitis, a fibro super flare, and pinched nerves in my neck that have sent shooting pains all down my arms, legs, back, and up my neck into my head. Dizziness, weakness, and fatigue so bad it took all I could do to get out of bed. But one does. Because the alternative is death.
So you get up and crawl if you can't walk. If you need to go to the bathroom, you hang on to the wall so you don't fall down. You pray you can drive to church or the store without hitting another car or ending in a ditch. You stay out of public as much as you can without going crazy from despair and pain. You don't dare talk to people. No, really. It isn't good to converse.
Last month saw nine low-pressure systems march across Indiana. Three at a time over the course of three weeks. I felt every one of those illegitimate children. My whole body felt attacked by hordes of marching monsters.
Today, I walked a mile without a lot of pain. The sun was shining, and it was a beautiful day. Learn to appreciate such small blessings. Tomorrow I could be back on the floor trying to get out from under the crushing weight of fibromyalgia.
I was researching some information about managing the autoimmune diseases I have, and this is what it said:
That description of feeling "crushed" is exactly what a major barometric drop does to a body dealing with fibromyalgia and rheumatoid arthritis (RA). Nine low-pressure systems in two weeks is an absolute onslaught for your central nervous system and cellular biology. It is completely logical that your physical weakness and brain fog were severe during that time.The science behind the "crushed" feeling when a storm or front approaches, the barometric pressure drops, meaning the weight of the air pressing against your body decreases.
Tissue Expansion: Lighter atmospheric pressure allows the fluids and gases inside your joints, tendons, and muscles to expand slightly. In a body already hyper-sensitized by fibromyalgia and RA, this micro-expansion acts like an internal balloon inflating against your nerves, causing an overwhelming feeling of systemic pressure, pain, and profound fatigue. Oxygen and Circulation Changes: Rapid barometric drops alter blood flow and cerebrospinal fluid pressure, directly contributing to severe "fibro fog," heavy limbs, and a sudden drop in cellular energy
So, not in my head. Not over reacting. Not trifling. Real physical responses to weather. And unstoppable. You can't outrun it, nor can you hide.
So, next time you want to say something like, "Well, you need to just ignore it and come to the dinner party" to someone suffering from this disease, don't be surprised if they are tempted to punch you in the nose, or if they do. And for the love of all that is holy, DO NOT SAY "let me tell you about my sore toe" or "let me tell you about having my last baby". We do not care. I had a natural childbirth my first time, and it was a cakewalk. No pain medicines at all. I wish my pain levels were that low. And that was even with an episiotomy and no anesthesia.
I'd almost commit a crime for something to stop the pain now. Only I'm hypersensitive to most pain medications and can't take them. So... your Percocet? Yeah, I see shadow people. Lortabs? I vomit and fall down. Tell me about your pain and I'll probably laugh at you behind your back. You're not in pain if you can get to your car without crying. And if you can deal with a shopping trip, there is nothing wrong with you.
I came across some new information today and spent a while researching if it might give me some relief before the next big system rolls in. There is always another one. I know what the weather is going to be three days before you hear it on the news. I have to if I'm going to live.
My research gave me some information that might make some of my meds work better, but we'll have to see. I have to experiment on myself by taking things without knowing what they'll do to me. I have to research it, figure out the safe dose, and hope to God I get it right. I have to also take poison the doctors prescribe to prevent me from becoming a cripple. They don't work for the most part, and the side effects are from the most frightening science fiction movie about medical experiments gone wrong.
Here are the side effects of my RA injection, just one medicine I take for it. Once you read this as the patient, you never sleep well again. And you never stop being vigilant. I take multiple medications for RA. They all have side effects. How do you know which one is causing a problem? You don't. And how do you know if it is the medicine or the disease? You don't. You just keep going and hope you get through it with as little pain as possible. For context, my doctors have me down as a person who usually had the most unusual side effects. I'm hypersensitive to many medications.
- More common side effects
- body aches or pain
- cough
- ear congestion
- gas with stomach pain
- hoarseness
- lightheadedness
- loss of voice
- lower back or side pain
- muscle aches and pains
- pain or tenderness around the eyes or cheekbones
- rapid and sometimes shallow breathing
- shivering
- stomach fullness
- stuffy nose
- sunken eyes
- thirst
- trouble sleeping
- warmth on the skin
- wrinkled skin
- Less common side effects
- abnormal vaginal bleeding or discharge
- agitation
- arm, back, or jaw pain
- black, tarry stools
- bleeding from the gums or nose
- blindness
- bloating or swelling of the face, arms, hands, lower legs, or feet
- blood in the stool or change in bowel habits
- bloody or cloudy urine
- blurred vision
- broken bones
- change in size, shape, or color of an existing mole
- change in skin color
- chest pain, tightness, or heaviness
- chills
- clear or bloody discharge from the nipple
- cold hands and feet
- confusion
- constipation
- cough
- coughing or spitting up blood
- decreased urination
- decreased vision
- depression
- difficulty with breathing
- difficulty, burning, or painful urination
- dimpling of the breast skin
- dizziness
- drowsiness
- eye pain
- fainting
- fast, slow, or irregular heartbeat
- fever
- forgetfulness
- frequent urge to urinate
- general feeling of illness
- hair loss
- headache
- hives, itching, skin rash
- increased thirst
- inverted nipple
- irregular breathing
- irregular pulse
- irritability
- light colored stools
- loss of appetite
- lump in the breast or under your arm
- lump or swelling in the stomach
- mole that leaks fluid or bleeds
- muscle cramps or spasms
- nausea
- new mole
- night sweats
- no blood pressure or pulse
- noisy breathing
- numbness or tingling in your arms, legs, or face
- pain, redness, or swelling in the arms or legs without any injury present
- pale skin
- persistent non-healing sore on your skin
- pink growth
- puffiness or swelling of the eyelids or around the eyes, face, lips, or tongue
- raised, firm, or bright red patch
- redness or swelling of the breast
- seeing or hearing things that are not there
- seizures
- sharp back pain just below your ribs
- shiny bump on your skin
- slurred speech or problems with swallowing
- sneezing
- sore on the skin of the breast that does not heal
- sore throat
- sores, ulcers, or white spots on the lips or mouth
- spitting up blood
- stiff neck
- stomach pain
- stopping of the heart
- sudden high fever or low grade fever for months
- sweating
- swelling of the face, fingers, feet, or lower legs
- swollen glands
- swollen neck veins
- tiredness
- trouble breathing
- trouble thinking
- unconsciousness
- unexplained bruising or bleeding
- unpleasant breath odor
- unusual tiredness or weakness
- unusual weight gain or loss
- visual disturbances
- vomiting
- vomiting of blood or material that looks like coffee grounds
- yellow skin or eyes
- More common side effects
- bladder pain
- bleeding, blistering, burning, coldness, discoloration of skin, feeling of pressure, hives, infection, inflammation, itching, lumps, numbness, pain, rash, redness, scarring, soreness, stinging, swelling, tenderness, tingling, ulceration, or warmth at the injection site
- pounding in the ears
- Less common side effects
- abnormal healing
- decrease in height
- difficulty with moving
- difficulty with walking
- dry mouth
- heartburn
- indigestion
- loss of hearing
- loss of strength or energy
- menstrual changes
- muscle or joint stiffness, tightness, or rigidity
- muscle pain or weakness
- pain in the back, ribs, arms, or legs
- shakiness in the legs, arms, hands, and feet
- swelling or redness in the joints
