Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Sleep on the Ledge

This has got to be one of the most hectic months that I can remember. And I have been more tired than I ever remember. I'm so tired all the time I can barely move and yet I have to move. I have to be at work by 8, get off at five and on nights I have a write-in I'm out the door by 6 and home again around 9.  I've slept late every day for the last several weeks. Fortunately, I've managed to get up and dressed and out the door in time to get to work, usually five minutes late. I don't know what's up with that. It could be the stress level is too high I suppose and my body and mind simply are not able to keep up.

NaNo is nearly over and honestly, it probably is over for me already. I don't see making even 20,000 at this rate. I just have no story and I'm so tired at night that I'm not really able to think enough to write. 

I know I say I'm tired a lot. It probably sounds nutty. But honestly, there is no describing this tired. You never feel rested. Always I feel as if I need to go to bed. It has been a long time since I actually woke up without having an alarm clock wake me up. I'm using two alarms now. Even when I've slept I'm only able to go about 4 hours before I feel like I need sleep. 

One more day this week and I will have 4 days off. I'll do some writing but I am going to try and get all the sleep I can and see if it helps. I will be spending lunch with the boys and my sister and Sarah on Thursday but after that, I'll spend the weekend alone.Each year I have hoped that some of the pleasure I always got at this time of year would return. This year I think I realized that it isn't going to happen. I do not feel there is a point to it. All the traditions I kept alive have disappeared and the effort to do traditional things for my own entertainment is simply not worth the disappointment. 

3 comments:

  1. Hugs, sweetie. I'm so sorry you are having such a hard time.

    I'm no medical person, and don't know your situation, but B-12 sublingual tabs work wonders for me when I get to feeling tired and unrested when I wake up in the morning. If you haven't tried them, give it a go and see if it helps.

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  2. I'm sorry it is such a hard time of the year for people and even when they haven't gone through so much like you have so I can't imagine. I hope some sunshine breaks through those dark clouds and you will be covered in prayer and feel God's comfort and love. You are beautiful where is that verse in Isaiah , a Royal diadem in the hand of your God..Engraved on the palms of His hand..sometimes people seem to forget but He knows.
    I've always struggled some this time of the year, maybe more, probably more this year but there is a beauty in listening to some of the Christmas carols and the memories of Christmas through the years. I always have a crying time every year & God is near always

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  3. Ok. I get the older post now.

    Cyn, dearie, you are not well. You do not feel good. Your body is wracked with pain. This stinks.

    And when I just read your schedule--hon, that's too much. You need to rest. Does it mean you can't participate? No. But to be out almost every night? Come on, now. *shaking my finger*

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