Showing posts with label tired. Show all posts
Showing posts with label tired. Show all posts

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

More Wasted Days

I had about two good days after I saw my doctor and it has been mostly downhill since. I'm so tired and today I've had a headache all day. I am taking my second Imitrex now and hope that will get rid of it. I came home as tired as if I'd worked for two days with no break. The only bright spot is I may have defeated the sinus infection.

I don't know when it became such a chore just to put one foot in front of the other. I can't remember. I don't want to do anything. Even sleep is not good. I wake up as tired as I was when I went to bed. I'm tired of it. I just want to sit down and never have to get up again.

I go back to the doctor the last week of the month. I'm supposed to go on vacation beginning the 18th. I don't know if I will be able to go anywhere. I can't see sitting in the car for 12 hours feeling like this. It just isn't worth it.

Days pass and I don't know what I've done. I don't accomplish anything. I've been working on a shawl for two weeks. Last night I had to pull out five rows of work. I only had about 4 rows left but I did something wrong and didn't realize it until I reached a place that simply did work right. I had to back track visually and figure out what went wrong, rip it out and now I'm working on putting it back right. Normally, it wouldn't be a big deal but it is now. I don't have time to waste repeating work. What brief moments I have of clarity and strength I have to use for what must be done. I can't waste time on hobbies.

I looked at the yard and found a whole section that wasn't cut. So, now people want to cut the yard but only what they don't have to get off the mower to cut. I'll have to be the one pushing the old mower and using the weed trimmer for the places the rider doesn't reach, I suppose? This is ridiculous. Where did the real men of the world go and how did I end up with a bunch wimps? I'm embarrassed to say these people are related to me. I refuse to call them men. I've had nothing but trouble over the yard for years. They are the laziest human beings I've ever seen.

Enough whine. Another waste of time.







Monday, April 15, 2013

Another Manic Monday

I was on my way to bed actually, when I thought I'd better post something. I went to work this morning, put my behind in the chair and basically worked myself to a frazzle. I'm tired.

What is a frazzle? I mean, I've worked my fingers to the bone and worked my self nearly to death. But what is a frazzle? Who thought that up anyway?

I've been sick as a dog for a month. I'm feeling better this week and I am praying that it last. But how is being sick as a dog worse than being as sick as I was? If a dog had been that sick ... he'd be a dead dog.

I love the language.

Moving on.... I didn't get to my actual work until after lunch. If this continues I'll be a month behind before the end of the month. I asked if we were replacing the receptionist. He said he was meeting with the ED in the morning to discuss some things and he thought that would definitely be on the agenda. Well, I hope so! Because now, we will each be on the phone a whole day ever week and we'll have a meeting three to four days a month, we'll be answer all our call, filling hundreds of pieces a paper a week, several hundred files, and processing all that paper coming in. Not to mention trying to meet with ever person who wants to tell you about their nasty neighbors.

I've applied for two jobs. I don't know exactly what they are but similar to what I'm doing. I'm praying for them to pass me over if this is not what is best for me. I don't want another job that will kill me.

Oh! I'm taking an online creative writing class and I'm really looking forward to this. I had signed up for Forward Motion, another writing clinic that lasts over a year. But I simply could not get into it. I was a few weeks into it when this sickness started and now I'm abysmally behind. Forward Motion is an ongoing writing class so I can try again.  The new one is a university class and is a series of video/audio lectures taught by Brian Sanderson. The class last several weeks. Your supposed to write 50,000 words in 4 months. LOL, piece of cake if I decide to write. I may just listen and take notes. Doesn't matter really. I'm not adding any pressure to it. Fortunately, I'm doing the 2012 class and it's recorded.

Anyway, very busy writing. I told my friend, Doug, today that I was no longer beating myself up about what I'm writing. I'm writing and that's what counts. That's what I want to do. I started the new blog and I feel good about it, if a little intimidated. It is different and I can already tell it is going to be a different way of writing. I'm not sure I'm going to have a lot of creative control. Frankly, I'm fine with that.

I got the notice that the Library let me reserve the room for my writing group on the 27th. We're meeting and talking about Character and Story Arcs. I like the monthly meetings on a Saturday afternoon. I am more relaxed and really enjoy it much better.

Keep me in your prayers. I'm moving things in my life and that is always hard and sometimes painful. While I am better, I'm still not over this sickness. I still get unusually tired over simply duties. I over did it Saturday and paid the price Sunday. I want to be better by the weekend because David has a friend coming to town he wants me to meet.

Once again, I'm up too late! Night!

Saturday, April 13, 2013

Time, Time, Time

I'm really miserable. Tired and feel as if my insides are bloated. This is apparently not unusual as liver and spleen can swell. I will probably have to call my doctor if this isn't better in the a.m. Although, i really don't know what they can do. All my research indicates nothing can be done. 

The next question is how long? Depends on who you ask. Everyone knows someone who's had it and it varies from a couple of weeks to months. I don't have months.

And speaking of time shortages. Our front desk person just turned in her notice. She'll be gone the last day of the month. We are now down to four case managers, one inspector, on inspection clerk and one admissions person. There is absolutely no support staff. We will be doing it all, phones, filing, copying, mailings, interviews and processing the information. I can't do it. Really. There is no way we can do it. 

I've sent out two applications. I ask only that you pray for me to find the right job, whatever it is. I've sat up too late doing this but at least I've done something.   Only time will tell.

Saturday, April 6, 2013

Unknown

The shutters of the day are drawn and night arrives. I'm about to turn in myself. I'm tired as usual but I had a bit longer period today where I didn't simply collapse from exhaustion. Maybe a couple of day off helped. I managed to get the shopping done and that's a plus. I hate shopping.

One more day off and I go back to work. Stand to reason that being away from the job would help. I think the job is exacerbating the problem. I wish I could just stay home but the bills won't get paid if I don't. I saw an amusing graphic of Tweety Bird on someone's Facebook page that said, If I had one dollar from one million people I'd be a millionaire. I never thought about it quite like that. I could start a fund raiser. With my luck I wouldn't raise enough to buy gum.

I couldn' think of a title... either too tired or I just don't have the imagination tonight.

Good night, sweet prince, wherever you are..... 

Thursday, April 4, 2013

Plethora of Miscellany

I'm home today. I took two vacation days off from work because I haven't got enough time to be sick. I'm still sick. But I did sleep until nearly 9 today. I'm going to lunch in a minute.

I'm considering job hunting. I need to call around some places first and see how that's going to hit me financially. It will be a huge drop in income. And benefits. I've got 5 weeks of vacation a year, 14 paid holidays, 2 personal days a year, and 2 weeks sick time per year. I will lose all that and take probably a 50% pay cut. Not to mention, a retirement plan that they pay 8% a year on. I really need this job but this job is a good chunk of the problem. And it is going to get worse with staff cuts.

Here's what we think is happening. We believe they are trying to force people out so they can restructure the jobs with less benefits, less pay, and fewer people. In a this kind of job, if all staff in one job leave, they can re-post those jobs for less money and benefits. Our agency is a high performer in with HUD. This means we're never late on our submissions to HUD. That's what you want to be. However, if you cut staff, your ability to stay at the high levels decreases exponentially. During a recent meeting with the ED, I specifically asked what happens if we're so short staffed we can't continue as a high performer. I pointed out with the promised cuts in staff, that would probably happen. The ED said, HUD would step in and administer the program. That means everyone in my department would be gone completely. HUD would come in, take over, at no cost to the agency, and then at some point, the agency could restructure the department and rehire at reduced administrative cost.

If you google corruption in federally assisted housing, you will find it is a highly abused program. Across the nation agencies are consistently misusing funds and those in charge are frequently the culprit.. This is to the determent of those receiving the assistance as well as the people employed. Having worked in the industry for 15 years, I can tell you, fraud is not that hard to detect if there are checks in place to flag it. But honestly, it is an easy system to manipulate if no one watches.  Here's a HUD report of how prevalent the problem is. http://www.coburn.senate.gov/public/index.cfm?a=Files.Serve&File_id=641349c1-4667-4c9b-9bf9-1ec5b52ccd5d

And past scandals abound: http://www.downsizinggovernment.org/hud/scandals

So, maybe it is time for me to consider something else. I would so miss the luxury of all that time off. I'd be working more for less. I don't know if I can do that. Not anymore.


I'm still having trouble with exhaustion, dizziness, headache, muscle pain, joint pain, ringing in my ears, and anxiety. I've been going to bed 9-9:30 nearly every night. I sleep. I'm better the first four hours of the morning and then I come crashing down. I may have a few hours in the afternoon when I feel o.k. but I generally get very sick in the afternoon.

This has been going on for a month now, progressively worse. This week... on Sunday I told the boys I felt like I was dying. They weren't happy with the assessment. I'm not thrilled either.

So, what to do. Nothing. If it is fibro, there's nothing they can do. It is RA, there's nothing they can do. I see my RA doctor in two weeks. I called my primary and they'll see me today at 2:15 but I'm suppose to go to the bank at 3:30 and close on my house! We'll see.

Did I mention I went to the Y with Dave on Tuesday night? I managed 30 minutes on a bike. I had leg cramps that night and the Wednesday. No, I didn't use resistance. I just got on and peddled at a leisurely pace while reading.

I am hoping to get my head clear enough to writing some over the weekend. I simply don't know. It has been such a nightmare for weeks trying to do anything.

Now for lunch. I should have time to go grab a salad before my doctor's appointment around 2. I can sit and read for a bit maybe. I'm already feeling tired and I've done nothing.


Wednesday, March 20, 2013

A Tiny Piece of Heaven... Wrapped in a Candy Shell

There has to be a place where you can escape all your problems and still be breathing and above ground. I mean, don't they say "if you can imagine it, you can do it"? So, I can imagine a place like that....

And there has to be enough money to not have to worry about bills or anything. And you're meals will be brought right to your chair on the lanai where you are intently studying the clouds' motions as they move with the sound of the surf. Right?

HEY! I'm a writer! I can make it up.

That's my point. If I can make that up, there has to be a place like that.

I'm depressed. I'm got this ringing in my ears and it is driving me mad, seriously. I'm so tired I could simply lie down right where I stand. Just give me a pillow and a blanket. I suspect they're connected. I don't want to know, so don't tell me. Even if they are there is nothing that can be done, just like everything else I have wrong with me.

I used to look up things to see if I could find out what was wrong and if there was something I could do. I stopped. Knowing became more frightening than not knowing. Now I just want to go away.

I don't know where that place is.  Instead, I'm sitting here eating Peanut M&M's.

That's as close as I can get to heaven right now.

Monday, March 18, 2013

Night, Night

I'm calling it a night. I've had soup and sat and watched a couple of Midsomer Murders episodes. Those things are an hour and a half long! That without commercials. Takes forever to get through one. But I do like them. I'm on season 10.

Anyway, I'm going to bed. Stomach is uncertain. Some symptoms have gone but I still don't feel very well. I am hoping that sleep will set everything right. I hope I can sleep. Last night wasn't so good. I rather wish I'd been able to take a nap today but I couldn't seem to get there. Just felt so rotten.

I'm also feeling rather depressed. I don't know why. Could be everything that is going on in my life. Uncertain job, some family issues, and not feeling well... all a recipe for depression. So, I'm off to bed and then work tomorrow. I'm now a day behind again and that's never good.

I was looking at my post count for this year. I have 25 post for 2013. Last year by this time I had about three times that. I always had a goal of one post a day. It has never seemed to work. Things just get in the way. Or I have nothing to say.

So, I'll say good night.

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

A Day in the Swamp

We've had rain for two days now.  Not a soft gentle spring rain. A cold, pouring rain that makes the ground squish when you walk. My legs and hips do not like it, no one little bit.

I was up all night last night. I have some kind of rash on my legs from my ankles to mid calf on the left leg and slightly lower on the right. It itched like mad all night and I was miserable. The only thing that helped was leaving my leg uncovered and with my heat at 60 degrees, that is not pleasant. So tonight I'll have to find a way to stay warm but not let the legs get over heated. The electric blanket made it much worse I think.

I am annoyed that my whole day was a waste. I have had no sleep but there is no way I could work or write or crochet. I lay on the couch like a slug, t.v. shows playing and I can't tell you what I watched! I could have got more editing done but my brain is basically slush.

Tomorrow is Wednesday and after a missed day of work it is going to be horrible. Well, it is what it is, I guess.


Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Two Mondays a Week

I feel like I'm chasing my tail. If I had a tail. Today is, of course, Tuesday... after Labor Day which, in my view, makes this Monday. It has been Monday all day long. 

My day started off at a run. I'm going on vacation on the 16th and will be out of my office for a week. So, that means I have to really get ahead in my caseload. Since I am already behind by about two weeks, this is not good. I have really hit it hard today, doing about 12 files of data entry. This is actually excellent. Generally, I can get 10 at the most done in a day. So, two more is a good thing. But not enough. I have nearly 20 more.

This is no way to start a week. The last week was fairly rotten in the first place. I was sick and family crises fell like hailstones. To start another week, a new month in fact, even worse is just frustrating. 

It feels as if my life is imploding. That's different from an explosion. It means to collapse inward from external pressures or to break down or fall apart from within. I can't find a much better description. I don't want to go into it here on this blog at this point. Someone pointed out that I'd once again have to go  through a form of grief. I don't want to do that anymore. Ever. I am so stressed at the moment that I can feel it in my chest. No, not actually pain. Just that heaviness you get when things are at their worst and you know you can't fix it. Fear sort of just gnaws at you bit by bit. You get tired.

I am tired. Of a life that seems filled with every dream and hope that I ever held shattered at my feet and then I am forced to walk across the razor sharp shards to some nebulous end. There is not pot of gold. There's not even a rainbow.  There will be those who say I overreact. Maybe I do. You need to walk very quietly from the room. Don't come back until I call you. Don't hold your breath. 

Monday I went to the Urgent care for a bug bite. Silly old thing that I am, I had a mosquito bite on my thumb but then there was some other bite on my leg, above my ankle. It happened in the car. Mike and I were taking Sarah home around five. She'd been to the Labor Day picnic with us but I was tired. I suppose the bug got in when I did. I got stressed because the mosquitoes here are infested with West Nile virus. I'm been so careful going out and taking Sarah out. But I only went from inside the house to inside the car. I shouldn't have to shower in Off. But I got bit.

The one on my thumb looked like a normal mosquito bite. The one on my leg didn't. It didn't get the red raised mound of a normal mosquito bite. It got very red and made a rectangular mark that grew to about the size of the end of my pinky from the join to the tip. It stung, not as bad as a bee sting but sort of like it feels when you stick a hot match to your skin. I had a terrible meltdown. There was no one to really care about it. No one to hold my hand, talk me down to a sane frame of mind. I called a couple of people. They have lives of their own. They moved on. 

Of course no one was as concerned as I. I don't know what I expected. I was terrified. Yeah, I know I nuts. You're late. The mark just got redder and redder and seem to spread over the course two hours. I finally decided to go to the urgent care. I called and ask David to go with me. Jerry would have gone with me if he'd been here. Mike would have gone if I'd called him but he doesn't handle my stress well anymore. Who am I kidding... I don't handle it well anymore. He's just not equipped for it, although he tries valiantly. More so than anyone else. 

Anyway, Dave went with me. I melted down in the car. He actually handled it pretty well. I really  needed Jerry to be there. Really, really, really. I got Dave to drive. I sat in the waiting room two hours and the mark faded away. Once they called me back I felt stupid but I have to say they didn't treat me that way. The were very kind and understanding and the doctor, when I saw him told me he was going to take notes on what had happened and if something changed I was to call. He said there were things they could tell me on the phone to do so I wouldn't have to come back in. I dropped David home and came home alone. 

It is an eternal irony that I don't want to live with people but I do not want to be alone. I am not able to resolve the paradox. 




Monday, September 3, 2012

Rainy Day Monday

Labor Day. I'm ready to go to the church Labor Day Picnic. I have to pick up Sarah and Mike. No one else is going. If Sarah wasn't going, I'd stay home and do some much needed house work. It is, after all, labor day.

I've been going from room to room hunting things and finding that the problem is there is still too much STUFF! I want some space and order and I don't seem able to get there. Things still find their way into rooms and stay for no apparent reason. I need to find a place to start, and just do it. I did that a couple of years ago and tossed a lot of junk but this time, I seem to be stalled.

It is like some sort of transition step you take in the grief process, I guess. That one step is just a bit too high for me to reach. Sigh.

I've been experiencing that overwhelming hollowness again. The holidays are approaching but I hesitate to blame them. I  haven't even thought of Thanksgiving and Christmas. . . well, not much. I've been thinking about NaNoWriMo. I've been thinking about my son's impending divorce. I've been thinking about how much pain I've been having again. I've been thinking about how upsetting it is to be in chaos alone. Sigh.

All right, too much thinking.

I'm thinking about changing the name of my blog. I have done that one time and I've never been terribly happy with it. Boring.  But last night when I was downloading the missing blogs from the quickly dying Multiply I ran across one that is a snapshot of my life every single day. The title of that post was brilliant and I don't know why I didn't see it before. Well. . . I only write them once and move on so that could be why. Even the content of the post was such a snapshot of what I live that it was laughable. It isn't on this blog yet. I'll post it eventually. The name change you'll see probably sooner.

Maybe even today.


Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Over the Hump....at the Bottom of the Hill?


Today is hump day, the day when the rest of the week goes down hill... I'm not sure why we would think that is a good thing...but we do. I'm just glad I have one more day to work this week.

I took Friday off. I am taking Sarah to St. Louis to the Science Museum and if it isn't too hot, the Zoo. If it is too hot we'll do something else. We will all stay in a hotel tomorrow night and spend Saturday exploring. I'll have Dave & Becca and Mike along, too. I know they'll all have a good time and maybe I'll stop being so bummed out after a day away from home.

I posted the "final" chapters of The End of Winter so the gals in the writing group could read it. If you are one who read this during my 2008 NaNo and want to see the end, let me know. You will know who you are and need only send me an email to my email address... which you will have if you know me.


I am still tired. This afternoon after work I came from home, got a shower, put on  babydoll PJs, and had a personal pizza for supper while watching t.v. It is now just after 10 and for the first time in weeks, I don't feel buried under a black cloud. I'm still tired and will go to bed soon and I'm still not very cheerful. I do feel a bit less stressed. I had my writer's meeting on Monday night and those girls keep me laughing for a couple of hours and I always feel better after that. I spent the rest of Monday night and Tuesday night reading.


I sat up late the last two nights reading the BEST book I've read in a long time. Really. The writing was so tight I found myself looking for things wrong with it! The story was really good and a lot of fun. Typical old fashioned mystery. P. B. Ryan's Still Life with Murder. I highly recommend it. It is the first in a series and I got it free from Amazon. It is considered an historical mystery because it is set in Boston just after the Civil War. The main character Nell Sweeney is intriguing and I'll be getting the other books in the series just to learn more about her. I simply could not put it down and the ending was a surprise, which almost never happens with me. Although, these days, I'm not very attentive to details so it is possible someone else might not be as surprised.

I'm reading the start of the second book because it was included in the download... I'm already hooked by this 18th century female detective.



I'm having less pain this week I think. Yes, I'm not sure. My knees are sore and as I said, I'm tired. I'm not supposed to sit up late. I must get enough sleep. But I've been so disinterested in reading for so long that when I find a book that hooks me I hate to stop.

What I really want is to be able to retire. I am thinking about getting a site set up for donations. Yes. You heard me. I said donations. I'll direct people to my depressing posts and give details on my situation and condition. Then, I'll have a Pay Pal account set up so people who truly understand and want to help me can put their money where their mouth is. Look, I've had over 14,000 hits on this site since I began it. Over half those came in since November 2010. Something tipped the scale. Not sure what. Maybe I made a name for myself on the forums. Where are they all coming from? Russia and the US are apparently at the top of the list, with Russia in first place.

~(:\)

What have I said that would appeal to 100 Russians? What could they be interested in? My wit? My charm? My good looks? My audacity?

And now, I shall post this blog. I started it on a break early today and finished it just now. It should bring everyone up to speed. Tomorrow.... who knows.

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Slumgullion


Mama made a soup she called Slumgullion. I only discovered just now that it is a real soup! I was eating it when I was five. Basically a vegetable soup with everything but the sink tossed in. Mama's was, at least. It was wonderful as I recall. I make a similar soup on occasion. I think this post is rather like her soup but not as good, I'm afraid.

As I begin this blog I'm sitting on my front porch. It is 8:38 p.m. in S. Indian and the crescent moon is at about 45 degrees in the western sky. There is a nice breeze and aside from the sounds of the highway about three block south of me, it is nice out here. The screen of my laptop is the brightest thing around. Well, the street light is probably second but only because it is farther away. I actually had to turn on my keyboard light because I can't see it in the glare of the screen.

Oddly enough, recently Google Chrome came up with an extension that lets me set the screen to a gray scale and this is immensely helpful when blogging in the dark! No glare in your eyes and now, the brightest light actually is the street light. Have I said today, "I love all things Google"?

I've been trying very hard to make myself blog and it hasn't worked well. I checked and in April I think I did only one post. May is only slightly better. That's insane for me. I'm usually good for nearly one a day. I can only say that things have been happening... or not.


The weekend is looming and I'm very glad. We are going to put down a walkway in the front yard and I have two flower beds to get prepared. Becca's dad brought a tiller over and broke the ground up for me and I will go tomorrow night and get gravel, paving stones, and whatever else I need to do this. I'm rather excited about a front walk.

I have a 4 day weekend. Memorial Day is Monday and our office is closed and I took Tuesday off. I begged more or less. I said, "Please, Marques!" He said, "I don't think it will be a problem." I think I'm ahead of everyone else in processing files. I've been going non-stop and I have a little room because I've been driven.


I've been experiencing absolute exhaustion since I got home from Florida. If you watched the video you know we had a really good time. I got sunburned. I enjoyed my family. I was, however, glad to get back to my house. There is no bed like your own.

My only explanation for the exhaustion is work. There is no time for a break these days. It is non-stop data processing and if you stop, the penalty is you get behind double the time you stop. I was gone a week. Still, I managed to get all the back log processed but the penalty is a seriously fried brain and an inability to find enough rest. I'm seriously tired to the point of depression. Yes, I am sleeping. Hard. I am considering asking my doctor to order a sleep study. I need to know if I'm actually resting properly.

Not only am I way behind on blogging, but I haven't written a thing in any area. I've thought about it. But that's it. That doesn't count. I have been looking into a writing workshop. I need something to get me going and it looked interesting. But I'm so tired I'm a bit cautious about jumping into anything right now.

I have been reading more than usual. It is a pursuit that doesn't require much energy. If I fall asleep while I'm doing it I can wake up and pick up where I left off without ever moving.

We need rain here desperately. The ground was so hard when David began to dig for the walkway he had to wet it down. The soil here is loamy and wonderful farmland but when wet, it is heavy. That is why John came and brought the tiller over. Now we have a nicely plowed area we will scoop out and level on Saturday and then, lay gravel and paving stones... I so hope. I'll take photos. I've planned a flower bed along the front and one side of the porch. On the opposite is a patio and a flower bush so I won't do one there. No idea what I'll plant aside from some marigolds and "princess feathers". No I don't know their proper name.

And I want so badly to write. I hate the brain drain that hits me when I'm this tired. Blogging seems to be about the only thing I can do. And not even good blogs at that.

I had a dream last night about some dark haired man. I don't know who he was but I spent a long time talking to him. I dreamed I woke up next to him only to wake up and find I was alone. I was very depressed. I kept trying to figure out if he was Jerry or someone else. It bothered me. And saddened me. How does one ever learn to be alone after 35 years of together? It will be 4 years next January. I do not feel any closer to adjusting than I did then. I was just a child of 17 and Jerry was all the life I knew. The current life seems rather boring and hollow.


Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Another Long Day

I got nothing done today. My day started with an interview with the scheduled audit. I was interviewed by the Nan McKay team for an hour and a half. In fact, I was the only case manager they did interview. I think it was the most comprehensive interview about policies and procedures I've ever seen. I got asked everything... even things I didn't want to be asked. I left the interview to lunch and came back and managed to get some items mailed out and then had to pull folders for file auditors coming next week. We have to pull more tomorrow.

Over all, I think this audit is about more than how we do things. But we will see.

I've had indigestion for days again. I'm taking meds for it. I get flare up of it every week or so and once it settles down I'm fine for a bit. I suspect I'm in a fibro flare as I've had muscle pains, extreme tiredness, and the indigestion.

I'm headed off to bed now after an evening of pretty much nothing. I watched two t.v. shows and cruised a bit and I'm done. Tomorrow is Thursday so still two days before I get a break.

Loraine had to reschedule. It isn't a problem for me so we'll meet on Friday.


Forging Ahead... Blindly


I've been AWOL quite a bit lately. Work has been horrendous and I'm exhausted. Not to mention I've had so much pain I just have been unable to do much of anything after I get home.

This past Saturday Mike and I moved furniture. Actually, I did and he showed up later and helped me finish. However, there is a price for such things. I've paid in spades.

Problem is I've been exhausted to the point I can barely get through the day. I'm on my way to bed now but felt I should probably stop and post something so folks would know I'm still around.

I haven't had a lot to say either. Dave lost his job and is still looking. I went and ordered a sofa. I've put in my vacation time and am going canoeing with my family the second week of May. Did I say work is horrible? The 50 extra cases  have simply swamped us all. We have an agency evaluation going on, requested by the new director.

Must say this to get it down... I want corroboration in the event something happens. I had a dream about two weeks ago. Dreamed the new director was setting up an office in our department, which is about 10 minutes from corporate, and staff were helping him set up, asking if there was anything he needed. I woke with no resolution or explanation of the dream. Let me state I never dream about work. I can't remember ever dreaming about my job since I've been at the housing authority. The only job I ever dreamed about was one I was fired from years ago when I told the bosses they were unprofessional and crass (they liked telling dirty jokes, despite my request not to be told dirty jokes). Too long to tell it here but lets just say that the dream happened before I was fired and fell into a category that clearly pointed out a problem I was having and that it would be resolved. It was solved by the firing. I have no regrets about it.

My theory is that at some point in the near future, the ed will be overseeing operations of our department for some reason. My theory is there are more staff changes coming. I've told this dream to two other people at work right after I had it. They laughed. I never laugh at dreams I have.... I usually end up crying over them. I actually hope this dream is beans.

I'm going to lunch with Loraine on Thursday. That will be a nice change. Always good to visit with a friend.