There has to be a place where you can escape all your problems and still be breathing and above ground. I mean, don't they say "if you can imagine it, you can do it"? So, I can imagine a place like that....
And there has to be enough money to not have to worry about bills or anything. And you're meals will be brought right to your chair on the lanai where you are intently studying the clouds' motions as they move with the sound of the surf. Right?
HEY! I'm a writer! I can make it up.
That's my point. If I can make that up, there has to be a place like that.
I'm depressed. I'm got this ringing in my ears and it is driving me mad, seriously. I'm so tired I could simply lie down right where I stand. Just give me a pillow and a blanket. I suspect they're connected. I don't want to know, so don't tell me. Even if they are there is nothing that can be done, just like everything else I have wrong with me.
I used to look up things to see if I could find out what was wrong and if there was something I could do. I stopped. Knowing became more frightening than not knowing. Now I just want to go away.
I don't know where that place is. Instead, I'm sitting here eating Peanut M&M's.
That's as close as I can get to heaven right now.
The journey of a widowed Southern lady stranded in the Mid-west surviving the
perils and pearls of grief, adult children, grandchildren, writing, retirement, and assorted crises.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Peanut M&Ms is pretty close to Heaven, but warm sand and the sound of the surf does sound better! I live close to the Gulf beaches, but right now the sand isn't so warm and the water is too cold to go swimming. Maybe farther south...Bahamas or Mexico. I'm with you! If only....
ReplyDeleteOh Cindy, I wish there was something I could do to help. Have a hug from me to you.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry . Hold on to those tiny pieces of Heaven. God bless you and keep you , wrap His loving arms around you , He loves you so much just as you are
ReplyDelete