A Week Outside the Bubble

 

Life looks nice in a glass bubble. From the outside, anyway. I don't live there.

It's been a strange week. Woke up on Saturday and couldn't walk. Inflamed bursa in my leg. The pain was terrible. I forgot I can't wear flat shoes or go barefoot. 

Plantar fascitis means I need to wear heels. I love heels. But not to wash dishes or vacuum. And I don't own any real pearls. 

That is going to go over the head of anyone who didn't watch 50s television. Think Leave It To Beaver's mom.

Today is Friday. I've been to the pain doctor, and he's sending me to physical therapy because we both believe that fewer drugs are better. Today I have my annual torture session at the Breast Center. It makes me a better person. At least I tell myself it does. On the 30th, I see PT. 

I'm alternating between depression and a weird happiness. No idea, so please don't ask me to explain. I know where the depression is coming from. The weird happiness, too. I'd like to reconcile them so I only feel one a day. Or maybe just one and not depression. Weird happiness isn't bad. It just isn't genuine happiness in the sense that you feel secure. It's very shaky. Like skates. I don't skate well. So, yeah, that's what it feels like. 

No holiday decorations, but I've reconsidered it a bit. A wave of immense guilt washed over me when my son asked me to fix a ham, remembering I no longer celebrate Christmas at all. Well, he's been away from home for the holidays for years. Now he wants a ham? 

Don't get me wrong. I celebrate the birth of Jesus. I don't need trappings to do that. They're nice. I love them. I enjoyed decorating. But decorating an empty house is not weirdly happy. It's utterly depressing. So, since I'm already battling that beast, I won't feed it. 

Writing? Yeah, that's been going full blast. Only this week, I've kind of hit a bump. The leg pain means sitting for lengthy periods is pretty uncomfortable. I usually can't walk for several minutes without pain. Also, wearing heels leads to foot pain in the metatarsal area. Heels are not for daily wear, although I did it when I worked. I don't know how! Regardless of that; I have to wear a shoe with at least an inch and a half heel if I want the pain to lessen. 

So, 66,612 words for November and December is a lot of writing. I began on the 12 of November, and that's the count as of today. And I still seem to have a lot of it left. It's so odd because I haven't done this much writing in years. Not in one book. Weirdly productive? Maybe. Hope it last till I get it done because the storyline has now made it impossible not to have a book 2! I do not know how that happened. 

I'll wish you a Merry Christmas & a Happy New Year. 

May the dreams you dream come true and the wishes you wish do too.

CM

Spring Has Sprung

 

Special day: Spring Equinox & Alien Abductions Day 😯

Mood Today:😒

Weather Today:🌧️

These days the only thing I seem able to write about is the weather and my aches and pains. That's so boring that it hurt. Another pain. 

This morning I'm dealing with a lack of sleep on top of the above mentioned A&P. I went to bed early because I was so tired. As usual, I had trouble shutting off my brain. I thought I had it under control but got the huge "download" of stuff that wouldn't stop rolling around in there. I got up, wrote it up and when I went back to bed at 2 a.m. I went to sleep. I was up at 8:30 a.m. After the day I had yesterday I was tired and today, after the night I've had, I'm even more tired. 

Yesterday, I took Becca to get measured for a new wheelchair. It was so nice to see them recognize how much she was handicapped by the stroke. Why? Because other agencies have dragged their heels assisting with anything. She can't walk, she can't use her right hand and arm. Why would the food stamp office want her to do 30 hrs of job search when she can't even go to the bathroom without help? 

I'm not going there but the folks she met with yesterday immediately recognized the limitations and began to plan on what exactly she needed in this wheelchair. They were considerate, compassionate, and intelligent. The put in an order for an electric chair and started organizing physical therapy to address her mobility issues. 

She had this stroke nine months ago. The first three months in Ohio she received no after stroke care.  NONE. She was sent home with an 8 yr old to take care of her. The doctors here believe the stroke resulted from an overdose of medication she was prescribed but they're not sure. She now has an internal medicine doctor, a neurologist, and a team of therapist. It's taken six months to get here but now there is some hope she can make a better recovery. She'll began therapy next week. She's had some therapy but it wasn't helpful and they gave her a ankle brace that is not helpful. We hope this new group will be more helpful. The neurologist immediately ordered a new type of ankle/leg brace to stop the twisting of her foot and order a battery of test to see if she has any underlying disease that could have caused the stroke. If they don't find anything, she can then sue the people responsible for the overdose of medication. 

And she should. The neglect was a disgrace and Madi, her daughter has been terribly traumatized. Becca woke up in a stroke and managed to wake Madi and Madi had to call the 911. For the next 3 months, the child had to care for her mother or stay with people while her mother was in hospital. She still fears something happening to her mother.

So, today, I've just sat here listening to my Bible studies and trying to rest without sleeping. I need to go back to bed but I hate sleeping in the day time! And I have so much to do. I need to vacuum and put away laundry. I also need to figure out what to eat. I haven't even had breakfast yet and it is nearly lunch time. 

The weather is beastly today. Cold again, cloudy, rain comes and goes. I'm dressed in a pair of knit pants and a long sleeved shirt in front of the heater. The cats are keeping me company.