A Week Outside the Bubble

 

Life looks nice in a glass bubble. From the outside, anyway. I don't live there.

It's been a strange week. Woke up on Saturday and couldn't walk. Inflamed bursa in my leg. The pain was terrible. I forgot I can't wear flat shoes or go barefoot. 

Plantar fascitis means I need to wear heels. I love heels. But not to wash dishes or vacuum. And I don't own any real pearls. 

That is going to go over the head of anyone who didn't watch 50s television. Think Leave It To Beaver's mom.

Today is Friday. I've been to the pain doctor, and he's sending me to physical therapy because we both believe that fewer drugs are better. Today I have my annual torture session at the Breast Center. It makes me a better person. At least I tell myself it does. On the 30th, I see PT. 

I'm alternating between depression and a weird happiness. No idea, so please don't ask me to explain. I know where the depression is coming from. The weird happiness, too. I'd like to reconcile them so I only feel one a day. Or maybe just one and not depression. Weird happiness isn't bad. It just isn't genuine happiness in the sense that you feel secure. It's very shaky. Like skates. I don't skate well. So, yeah, that's what it feels like. 

No holiday decorations, but I've reconsidered it a bit. A wave of immense guilt washed over me when my son asked me to fix a ham, remembering I no longer celebrate Christmas at all. Well, he's been away from home for the holidays for years. Now he wants a ham? 

Don't get me wrong. I celebrate the birth of Jesus. I don't need trappings to do that. They're nice. I love them. I enjoyed decorating. But decorating an empty house is not weirdly happy. It's utterly depressing. So, since I'm already battling that beast, I won't feed it. 

Writing? Yeah, that's been going full blast. Only this week, I've kind of hit a bump. The leg pain means sitting for lengthy periods is pretty uncomfortable. I usually can't walk for several minutes without pain. Also, wearing heels leads to foot pain in the metatarsal area. Heels are not for daily wear, although I did it when I worked. I don't know how! Regardless of that; I have to wear a shoe with at least an inch and a half heel if I want the pain to lessen. 

So, 66,612 words for November and December is a lot of writing. I began on the 12 of November, and that's the count as of today. And I still seem to have a lot of it left. It's so odd because I haven't done this much writing in years. Not in one book. Weirdly productive? Maybe. Hope it last till I get it done because the storyline has now made it impossible not to have a book 2! I do not know how that happened. 

I'll wish you a Merry Christmas & a Happy New Year. 

May the dreams you dream come true and the wishes you wish do too.

CM