Why Sunday?

I'm dressed for church but it has been a battle. Why does Sunday have to be this nightmare of memories that simply send me reeling over the edge. I am so tired of it. I want to crawl back in bed and pull the covers over me.

I'm not really terribly sore, a bit, but not to the point I can't move around. The neck hurts most of all. But I simple get this huge wave of memories that just rush in and sweep over me like great waves, each one higher than the next and I can't take it.

It is so tiring and so disappointing not to be able to look forward to church, to feel as if I'm going to a funeral, for heaven's sake! I want to be able to believe I have a good reason for going and that when I get there I won't be miserable until I get out.

I am going to get Mike. He is going with me. It is a bit more distracting when someone goes with me but not much. Becca said she and Sarah would go this morning and I was looking forward to that but I can't get them to answer the phones. David didn't even go to bed until nearly 5 this morning according to his Facebook. And people think I have no life!

Well, I have to leave now. Maybe I'll come back on later if I can. I usually take a nap on Sunday but haven't done that much in months.