A Tiny Piece of Heaven... Wrapped in a Candy Shell

There has to be a place where you can escape all your problems and still be breathing and above ground. I mean, don't they say "if you can imagine it, you can do it"? So, I can imagine a place like that....

And there has to be enough money to not have to worry about bills or anything. And you're meals will be brought right to your chair on the lanai where you are intently studying the clouds' motions as they move with the sound of the surf. Right?

HEY! I'm a writer! I can make it up.

That's my point. If I can make that up, there has to be a place like that.

I'm depressed. I'm got this ringing in my ears and it is driving me mad, seriously. I'm so tired I could simply lie down right where I stand. Just give me a pillow and a blanket. I suspect they're connected. I don't want to know, so don't tell me. Even if they are there is nothing that can be done, just like everything else I have wrong with me.

I used to look up things to see if I could find out what was wrong and if there was something I could do. I stopped. Knowing became more frightening than not knowing. Now I just want to go away.

I don't know where that place is.  Instead, I'm sitting here eating Peanut M&M's.

That's as close as I can get to heaven right now.

Hi Ho, Hi Ho.... Ho Hum.........

I'm back at work today and just as I suspected, the work was lying exactly where I left it! However, I am not very motivated to deal with it. 

I do not feel .... I don't know what I feel. I'm tired and I want to go back to bed but I slept fine. I got up when the clock went of. I don't hurt especially bad anywhere, just the usual aches that virtually never stop. I'm just tired and that's probably a bad sign. If you get enough sleep you shouldn't be tired. Right?

For breakfast, I ate a bowl of grits. They were hot, soft, and buttery and a lot easier on my stomach than anything else I could think of to eat. Good grits are nearly the consistency mashed potatoes without lumps. Grits should never, ever have lumps, feel sandy, or be watery. They should not be the consistency of Play Doh^(c) either. I can't explain it. I just know how to make them.

For lunch, I'm thinking a salad. I don't know if that is what Carolyn wants but if not, I'll go alone. I am not very good company either anyway. 

Tonight I think Dave has Sarah for a while. Not sure. She's been doing really good with school again and she is in after school care for a couple of hours because her mother went to work.

I am going to try and work on the novel again. I've been working in fits and starts. Mostly arranging things to get a logical sequence of events. I kind of know what that is. I've had to stop reading the stuff too much and just write a synopsis onto the index cards on the cork board so I can sort it by summary.

Graphic Courtesy Google - I'll put one of mine up once I make it.

What I'm doing looks a bit like the graphic to the left. It is the cork board view. One problem I had was that I had not written synopsis notes on the cork board index cards for each scene. I had done it for some but not most.  Incidentally, you create the note cards in that yellow space on the top left of the graphic. It is called Synopsis. Duh. I discovered that not writing as synopsis is actually a handicap. You don't have to do it. It just makes things easier if you do.

How does it make it easier? Well, because my story is a jumbled mess of scenes it makes it hard to know what goes where. I can move sections around easily but I needed an overview. 

There is an outline feature but I was not getting anything helpful when I pulled it up and had no idea how to get it to work. The graphic below is what that looks like when it is created correctly. When I tried to view my outline of the novel to see the sequence of events, the center column, the synopsis section, of that colored area was fairly blank. 

I found that when I did a summary of each scene in the synopsis section, it showed up in two places: on the index card on the cork board AND this synopsis section filled in! This has helped enormously.

Once that is done, I hope I will be able to see where things don't fit and move them. Moving them is as easy as drag and drop. Then, I can rewrite things. 

Now, I've spent a lot of time on this and if you don't use Scrivener, none of that will make sense and today... I just don't have any interest in explaining it. Suffice it to say that the writing program I am using is awesome with lots of bells and whistles. 

Night, Night

I'm calling it a night. I've had soup and sat and watched a couple of Midsomer Murders episodes. Those things are an hour and a half long! That without commercials. Takes forever to get through one. But I do like them. I'm on season 10.

Anyway, I'm going to bed. Stomach is uncertain. Some symptoms have gone but I still don't feel very well. I am hoping that sleep will set everything right. I hope I can sleep. Last night wasn't so good. I rather wish I'd been able to take a nap today but I couldn't seem to get there. Just felt so rotten.

I'm also feeling rather depressed. I don't know why. Could be everything that is going on in my life. Uncertain job, some family issues, and not feeling well... all a recipe for depression. So, I'm off to bed and then work tomorrow. I'm now a day behind again and that's never good.

I was looking at my post count for this year. I have 25 post for 2013. Last year by this time I had about three times that. I always had a goal of one post a day. It has never seemed to work. Things just get in the way. Or I have nothing to say.

So, I'll say good night.

Icky Day, All Day

The weekend was wet and cold and Monday is more of the same. I am home sick today. I don't know what I have...  some sort of stomach virus. I seem to have all the usual ugly symptoms that accompany stomach upset except vomiting. God is good cause that particular symptom never ends well for me. I still feel rather icky. My stomach just doesn't feel very good.

Last night I worked on my WIP a bit. I did some moving of scenes and getting the structure more organized. I actually felt like I accomplished something at one point. It suddenly seemed as if some things were jelling. We'll see. The thing needs a huge rewrite and that terrifies me no end. I'm going to continue to get the random sections from NaNo 2011 woven into it and then see what's missing. I see more writing in my future. I just wish Simon would start his incessant chatter again. I write much better when he just dictates it to me.

I ate scrambled eggs at lunch and some bacon. Well, I was starving by then since I was too sick to eat breakfast. And I felt like my stomach had settled down. However, the eggs didn't set well and I felt worse afterward. In fact, well... never mind. Best not share that bit. Suffice it to say that I could have driven to Florida for free. Must go now. Stomach just doesn't fancy sitting up. I've been lying down most of the day, watching Midsomer Murders. Probably why my writing sounds suspiciously British today. LOL.

Anyway, I'm thinking soup for supper. We'll see. Hope your day has been better than mine.

A Small World

There is no guide on how long grief lasts. I've wondered for over four years now if there were markers, like mile posts along the highway, that would tell me when I was getting close to the point where I won't remember, relive, or feel the death of my husband. Unfortunately, no one appears to have erected such markers. The road is long and I've seen nary a one.

I missed Jerry today.  So, I stopped and bought flowers and took them to the cemetery. I've avoided it for months, felt guilty every time I pass the gates, which is fairly often since they are on a road I travel several times a week. No matter how many times I pass the sadness of it never fades. Oh, I don't fall apart as I once did but honestly, in some ways, this is much worse. I can't explain it. There is a sense of betrayal in it. Imagined, I'm sure, but nonetheless felt. 

As I put the flowers beside his tombstone, I couldn't breath and I couldn't look at the name graven in the white marble. I apologized for being so long in coming and tried to explain  but it is no use. While I know he'd understand, I feel no better. The bands around my chest only tighten and I have to go back to my car where I sit and sob and try to breath and explain why. 

When I see someone walking in my direction, I know it is time to go. No one wants to share this.

And I came home. I don't feel better. I do what I always do. I push it away and try to think about something else. It's a small world, grief. There is nothing else.

Lessons Learned, Now Pass the Caffeine, Please

Last night was my online writers' group and I think we all had a really good time. Lots of talking and laughing by everyone. Topic covered "magic". Basically, what is magic and how do you write it. The discussion centered around the difference in magic and science. Seemed to be a topic they all felt very strongly about and it is probably why it generated such lively discussion.

We also discussed the Roaming Paragraph, which in this instance people hated doing my assignment. Too many rules and much harder to write. However, I think it went well and the ending satisfied most of us. I always learn something from these RPs. No one else does but I always take something from it. 

What could I possible learn from the experience of the RP? Well, let me see. 

• Point of view is very crucial. Finding the right POV may not be easy but is necessary if the story is to feel right. 
• Multiple POV is a juggling act that must be managed carefully or you should stick with a single POV.
• Transitions are something a good many writers pay absolutely no attention to. They simply don't check to see if they made it clear. I think this is because it is "clear" to the writer. That's not good. So, must watch my transitions with more care. I have multiple POV in my WIP (work in progress).
• First person doesn't lend itself well to multiple point of view characters. 
• Third person works better for M-POV if the transitions are kept in check. 
• I am more comfortable writing in 3rd person POV.
• After this experience, I think I need to get rid of some of my POV characters in my WIP. Or at least, not let them be a POV charcter.
• People don't like rules. They balk and the more complex the rules, the more they balk. 
• When forced to follow rules they don't like, people may not learn from it and they'll complain that the rules are the problem. They may refuse to follow them.
• You can learn something from anything you do... if you choose.
• When you can laugh at yourself about your mistakes, they don't seem nearly as bad as they did when you made them. I made a big one at the beginning of the RP. Only one person knew and generously kept quiet. I elected to tell it. It is quite liberating admitting your faults. And it allowed everyone to laugh with me rather than at me.
• Never let a challenge go unmet, even if it seems too hard.

So, what else have I learned this week? 

I'm exhausted. I have been for nearly two weeks. I feel absolutely drained, a mind numbing tired. I'm having a hard time at work and at home focusing and doing things. It feels suspiciously like a fibro problem. I don't have huge amounts of pain anywhere in particular but I have lots of aches all over and feel as if I've not had any sleep. My neck and shoulder especially bother me.

When I'm like this, writing is practically impossible. Even doing this blog is taking far more concentration than it should. I have no idea what to write about and what I have written is simply a rambling narration. Boring. 

I do better with caffeine in me. I have to go buy some of my coffee. Mike bought coffee for me over the weekend and he bought decaf. Yes, yes, yes, I know all the spiel about caffeine. Thank you. I have one cup a day. Fibro is like a blow to the head. At the moment, and all day yesterday, I could not function well. Even felt sick until after lunch when I had a Panera salad and Acai tea, lots of it. The afternoon went much better and I felt more alert. This morning, I'm still not really very alert and it is 10 a.m. 

So, need something with caffeine? I think so.

Glad Tidings

If you have not noticed it is Friday and at least one of us is thrilled. That'd be me. It has been a very pretty but cold day and I'm not sure if the weather is responsible for my improved disposition or if I got a better night's sleep. I did go to bed a bit earlier because I couldn't hold my head up any longer.

I had grand intentions of working on my WIP and I did do some work. But it seems so little that I am a bit discouraged. I mentioned my lunch last week with my friend, Doug, somewhere back there behind the root vegetables. You'll have to move that crate of apples but it's there. Anyway, Doug gave me a rough sketch of a way to plot out my story arcs. It made perfect sense at lunch... when I didn't take notes.... and had only an hour to grasp it. When I later mentioned it to him, and the fact that I totally forgot most of what he said, he then, kindly and as a true friend, met me in a hangout and reviewed it again. I took notes this time and he even shared his worksheet of his own story with me. He'd actually done that in his email before but I had not scrolled far enough down the email to see the attachment. Why does Gmail put them at the bottom that way?

So, after going over it with Doug, I set about trying my hand at it. The problem is I have to sort out some things now in the back story. As I filled in my excel chart, I realized I probably now have enough to write that story, too. I'm not doing it. But I begin to get a clearer sense of what was happening and why.

I like Doug's chart idea. He got the idea from a video by Dan Wells called Story Structure The link will take you to the playlist I have of it. I actually have watched this last year but things being what they are, don't remember a thing. I'm going to watch again, I think.

Anyway, the chart does help me see connections and make connections. So, I've started with the back story and plan to work my way all the way to the current story. It will be a very long chart. But from what I'm seeing, it clarifies a few things because as I enter data, new information and ideas keep popping up. I can see where something needs to be moved or removed. So, at least I have a plan now. It begins to look suspiciously like plotting.

Did I mention that it is Friday? I'm glad.

A Crash Course

Finally, I think I've got my computer back online! I really think it was about ready to crash.  It has taken me the better part of two days to restore and re-install all the updates. I still don't have a lot of software back on but it's OK I think. Most of that I can do as needed. If I don't use it, why put it back on here. I'm leary about putting my writing back on it. Yes, I back things up but you know, after awhile you have so many copies you don't know what's what.

I am exhausted and I did nothing but sit and download updates. Why don't they just put them all on a disk so we can buy it every six months and be done with it? Seriously. The disk are about five bucks! And would help the postal service.

I have to say the computer is running much better and the stuff that wasn't working, even after the repair, are now apparently fine. Nasty bugs.

My one complaint is that Avast, my virus software, just released a new version and it totally shut down my system. I nearly had to restore it a second time. I tried it twice and then searched their website. Apparently I'm not the only one having the problem. I kept a check on the site for two days and someone finally posted that they had AMD graphics and that it appeared to be a conflict with the software. They never got a response from tech but I have AMD graphics. So, I'm using MS Security Essentials for the moment. I'm hoping that Avast will recognize the issue and correct it and release a fix. I have used Avast for over 6 years and never had a problem. I don't trust any virus software made by Microsoft and I'm annoyed by the thought I'll have to purchase one with a annual subscription!

I can tell you one thing, I'm going back to my old method of cleaning the slate every 6-12 months. It may be a couple of days out of my life but is still the best way to insure you keep things running smoothly, and I don't care what anyone has to say about it. That's a lot cheaper than the $150 repair bill that didn't fix it completely. Not their fault, really but think about it. I've never had a computer repaired by anyone else in the 25 years in which I've owned one. No, never. And my computers last about 10 years.

Now, I'm going to get ready for bed. I'm really exhausted. Did I say that already? Oh, yes. I did. See, it's true! I'm ready to crash.

Out of Pocket

It is shaping up to be one of those weekends where I'm out of pocket for most of it. We have Sarah here but my laptop is doing things that scare me. So, I'm restoring it to factory settings and starting fresh.

Even before I had to put it in the shop it was acting up and it is getting worse. They tech said I had a root kit that he had a hard time getting rid of so, I'm going to assume the damage is a result of that or that something else was missed. Hey, even he said it was nearly impossible to get out. This means I'm going to just clean the slate.

What that means in terms of other stuff is that I won't be doing it. I've been working on doing some back ups, particularly my writing stuff. My only back up drive has problems of its own so I have to be sure things are actually backed up before I clean anything off.

I lead a crazy life. No one wishes they were me.

The ideas that my lunch with Doug stirred up will have to remain ideas. I've been making notes on a note pad but I really want to try something he suggested in getting the characters organized with who, what and why. I think it will make it much clearer. It did over lunch.

For any who love and adore me, few though you be, email still works on the desktop. You know, I have fewer problems on my desktop than anything else. I used to do all my writing there. And, if truth be told, I did more writing! Perhaps that is the answer. Use the desktop for all writing and only use the laptop when I have to be away from home. I still like being mobile but if it is actually hindering the writing, then I need to rethink it.

May your Saturday be sunny and fun, and your pockets be full.

Leave a Message

Every day I receive a Bible verse in my email. Sometimes it doesn't seem to fit anywhere. I read it and think about it for a few moments and then I usually delete it. Sometimes, I leave it in my email all day and will periodically go and read it again. It fits my mood, gives rise to a question, answers a question, or comforts me in some way. I save those until it serves its purpose.

This morning I had this verse in my email.

"Whom have I in heaven but thee? and there is none upon earth that I desire beside thee. My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever." Psalm 73:25-26 KJV

I don't know why but this came at a time when I was feeling very alone. I've felt the isolation more this week because I was dealing with physical problems that deprived me of large amounts of sleep. I tend to go into a depression after such episodes.

When you are awake and sick at 4 a.m. and there is no one to call, it is a terrible feeling. It is at moments like this that you realize just how vital human companionship is to each of us. Even the worst companionship is better than none to some. In fact, the worst decisions of your life will be made when you have no one to call.

Of course, I could have called across the hall to my son but he has to be at work by 6:30 and so he wouldn't have been able to help. I'd have only caused a shortage in his sleep. There was no one else. So, at times like this, you just sort of call God. Unfortunately, it is at the worst possible times that he seems to be away from the phone.

I know He's not really gone anywhere but the distance is just so far and the comfort of another voice, a hand to hold, or just someone sitting in the room with you is no little thing. We feel it so much more in times of distress. Humans crave other human contact in times of crisis more than any other time. Suicides rarely kill themselves when they are with someone.

I've had more days of stress in the last four years than I've had in my entire life. Nearly every week for 208 weeks something has hit me with enough force to knock me off my feet. I don't know how many more there are to get through. I only know that doing it alone is much harder than sharing the load. And some days the load crushes me.

So I make the call. I leave a message. This morning I had an email.

A Brain in a Box

Thursday dawned... well, it got light out. Gray skies, a rather half-hearted rain, and freezing cold greeted me when I raised the garage door. Yikes! Into the breech.

I went to work. Things are backing up and they are beginning to intimidate me. I hope tomorrow will be a day that I'll get it all organized. I didn't get a lot done in the morning but my continued exhaustion is wreak havoc with my concentration.

I had lunch with my friend, Doug today. He's a brilliant friend, is Doug. You'd really like him. When the opportunity to have lunch with him arises, I'm thrilled. Fortunately these opportunities seem to arise when I'm having knotty problems with my story. Doug is the king of disentangling knotty story problems. Really, I don't know how he does it but it is as if he has this laser vision that cuts through layers and layers of tangled story. You hand it to him and suddenly, in minutes, lunch was only an hour remember, he hands you back the core of the story you were looking for but couldn't see. I left lunch with my prize, a brain in a box! Yep, Doug gave me a brain in a box and it is going to revolutionize my story.

No, really.

Seriously, it will.

Sigh. OK. So, it's only going to get me out of a corner that I boxed myself into when I introduced the box. Wow... it isn't a pun but it should be. But Simon is going to love this box. When I tell him.

The afternoon was much brighter, at least, in my mind. That brain in the box was a nice motivator. Staying focused was much harder but I managed to get more work done than I originally anticipated. But there's still piles.

I'm so tired and it is really silly to be sitting here writing a blog post. I can barely think straight and when I read this it sounds ridiculous. But that is what I do.

A Lack of Sleep

It has been a horribly long day. For the uninformed, from 6:30 Monday morning until 10:30 Tuesday night I had no sleep. I had a rash, according to local medical experts. Ah, the marvels of modern medicine. So, I was scared to sleep all day Tuesday for fear I would not sleep Tuesday night, something that did not present a problem at all as it turned out.

They gave me a cream to be applied every 4 hours and it works well to lessen the itching. No idea what it is.... long name ending in .. sone. Sounds like a steroid to me. They gave me some pills that the insert reported would cause dizziness, blurred vision, and assorted other frightening reactions. It suggested I not drive while taking. I felt it was good advice. I took it when I went to bed. The bottle said 1-3 pills as needed for itching. In light of the reaction list, I also felt it wise to err on the side of moderation. I took one pill. I slept fine and no itching. 

Of course, I was so tired I suspect Gabriel would have suffered a stroke blowing his horn to wake me up. In fact, I had a hard time getting up. I was really sleeping. I got up at 7:30 a.m. and had to be at work at 8 a.m. I was 10 minutes late. I had to stop for OJ and a sausage biscuit. Hey, I gotta eat. 

As soon as I got to work my day went loco. Move briefing at 8:20 and then one client after another until noon. I worked on files and mailed out notices. Lunch was at Captain D's. I don't think I was good company. I really wanted to sleep. My friend, Carolyn drove us to lunch and that was probably a good idea. 

The rest of the afternoon I worked on assorted things. I could barely concentrate and if you asked me what I did, I couldn't tell you. Just paper shuffling.

I stopped by the store on my way home to get some things to eat. I came home and had a salad. Dave brought Sarah home with him for the evening. Then I did dishes, mopped the floor, washed two loads of laundry, all before 8:30.

So that is where I end my day now. 9:58 p.m. and I'm done. I'm going to find my bed. I wonder why we say such things? My bed isn't lost. I know right where it is, right where it was when I got out of it. In fact, I'm going to seek it with joy... well, maybe gladness is more accurate. But that's another post for another day.

A Day in the Swamp

We've had rain for two days now.  Not a soft gentle spring rain. A cold, pouring rain that makes the ground squish when you walk. My legs and hips do not like it, no one little bit.

I was up all night last night. I have some kind of rash on my legs from my ankles to mid calf on the left leg and slightly lower on the right. It itched like mad all night and I was miserable. The only thing that helped was leaving my leg uncovered and with my heat at 60 degrees, that is not pleasant. So tonight I'll have to find a way to stay warm but not let the legs get over heated. The electric blanket made it much worse I think.

I am annoyed that my whole day was a waste. I have had no sleep but there is no way I could work or write or crochet. I lay on the couch like a slug, t.v. shows playing and I can't tell you what I watched! I could have got more editing done but my brain is basically slush.

Tomorrow is Wednesday and after a missed day of work it is going to be horrible. Well, it is what it is, I guess.

A Late Evening with the Dream Stealer

I'm headed off to bed but since I'm in a writing mood, I felt it only right that I post a short blog. Tonight was my online writers group and as usual it was entertaining. Such a nice group of friends I have and it is always fun.

However, I've been setting goals for myself the last several weeks. I spent a lot of time actually putting them down on paper, a calendar. I have to update it every weekend but that is actually helpful. Anyway, since today is Monday and I've finally reached a place where I think I've talked about it enough and filled in my calendar with my goals. I should start today.

May I have a drum roll please? Wait... maybe some soft music to set the mood. Something that builds up to the drum roll.

Where was I? Oh, the writing group closed slightly early for the evening; 8:30 is our usual time but tonight it was closer to 8:15. I did a few things, got a drink, and I sat down at my computer and opened Scrivener. I marked my time on my calender. It was 9 pm. I opened The Dream Stealer. Simon stepped off the pages and into my head.

The thing is a real mess as a result of writing in scenes. My usual method of writing is from point A to point Z. This works really well. The Dream Stealer began that way but in a stupid attempt to fill in holes, I wrote 50,000+ words in scenes out of sequence for NaNo in 2011. This is not a good way to write. It is really insane. I have a surplus of scenes that seem to belong nowhere. Maybe the next book? Hah! I have to finish this one. I have enough words to finish it but as I organize and structure the scenes I find there are still places that are all wrong. So, do I start over? I began to think I must. But there are some good scenes, a lot of them. I may not know a lot but I know when the writing is good.

Anyway, I stopped at 12:00 midnight mainly because my brain couldn't take anymore but also because I actually need sleep. Besides, sleep is where he's does his best work, I hear. Dreams are not safe from the Dream Stealer.

Car Slushies and Random Escapes

The sound of rain falling is just outside the study window. It is freezing cold, too. When I left work at five someone had poured a slushy all over my car and it clung it in clumps. Did I say it was freezing? Honestly, if the sun had been shinning I think it would have felt warmer but because frozen water was everywhere it felt like I had been transported to the North Pole... at least pretty close to it.

As a result of this lovely little front that pushed in with its frozen treat, I acquired a raging migraine. It started small, just before lunch. I thought lunch would make me feel better. It didn't. By two I had to take an Imitrex. At 4, I got very ill. That is what Imitrex does to me. I get sick before it gets better. It is now 8:45 and I still have a moderately bad headache and my nose is now stuffy. So, I will have to take something for the sinus issue and hope the head stops pounding. I will not sleep well with this headache. My neck is not good either but that is typical with these headaches. Thankfully, they have become much sparser in the last couple of years. I hope the trend continues. 

I enjoyed my little weekend getaway a lot and I am going to have to start doing something like that when I can. It was enough to break my sense of imprisonment. 

Did I say that? I suppose it is true. When Jerry died he left me stranded in a place where I have no family but my sons and granddaughter and one sister, who is also trapped. She has no one but us. In the current economic nightmare we call an economy, although there is nothing economic about it, you can't just up and leave a perfectly good job because you want to break out. So, random escapes may be the answer.

Bake me a cake, will ya?

A Hop, Skip & A Jump

Well, it seemed like that is what it was coming home yesterday. Tuesday dawned grey and rainy and stayed that way for about an hour. I left the city of Jonesboro in the great state of Georgia at 8 a.m. central time. That's 9 a.m. eastern... and the earliest I could leave if I wanted to miss Atlanta's notorious gridlock on the interstate. I still came to a standstill at Turner Field and from there, could have taken a horse and buggy on I-75 through downtown Atlanta faster than I made it through town on the car. It was 5 miles an hour when I could move at all and took at least 30 minutes to cover two miles. You can do the math if you're so inclined. I've already done it once, thank you.

Once through town I tried the Spanish cd but by the time I reached Dalton, Georgia I was feeling very sleepy. The gloom, boring scenery, and maybe I just wasn't awak yet. I popped in my Drifters cd and from there all the way to Evansville, Indiana I kept the music going. I played the three cds of the The Drifters and they carried me to Chattanooga, Tennessee. From there Patsy Cline got me almost to Nashville and was picked up by Frankie Valli's greatest hits. I hit Nashville just after noon and came to a crawl until I reached the other side of town at which point, Credence Clearwater Revival carried me all the way to Evansville, Indiana. I only stopped in Tennessee for lunch and twice at McDonalds to get a drink. I got home just after 4 p.m. And CCR was still singing when I switched off the car. Do you know that their version I Heard it through the Grape Vine is nearly 12 minutes long! And more than half that is instrumental, very good instrumental, too.

Did you also know that you can't dance in the car while driving? It is very frustrating.

Altogether, it was a rocking ride and I actually enjoyed it. Generally I really hate traveling alone. I think just the fact that I could relax all weekend, didn't have to deal with anyone's drama, run anyone anywhere, or do anything I didn't want to do actually left me fairly relaxed. I will return to work tomorrow much more rested than when I left on Friday.

I am now looking forward to that trip to Florida in May. Anyone want to go on a day long canoe trip with crazy but fun people? Lunch is included and we'll loan you a towel. Must have a good bladder as there are NO potty breaks for several hours. I do hope the weather cooperates again this year. We've done this for a couple of years now and I really love it. I think there're videos on Heart of Dixie - YouTube from the 2011 trip. Yep, it's there. But for some reason YouTube is glitchy and my videos stop in the middle for no reason! 

Would you believe I still have not done my taxes? I have begun to hate doing them more each year. It isn't hard. I don't have any money so it is relatively simple. I just hate doing Indiana state taxes! The most awful form I ever ran across and if you know me you know I've lived in several different states. Until last year you could file state taxes online here for free through the state. They stopped it. Now I'll have to pay to file it. So, they'll be getting a paper return. I'm betting I won't be the only one.

Away with me now. I have some work to do down the hall and I probably should put away the laundry. Another job I really hate. I don't mind doing the laundry until it gets to the sheets and towels. I usually will simply take them to the living room and put on a movie or watch a show while I do them. But I really hate it.

I only work two, count them, TWO days this week. Thank God for a job that allows me generous vacation time. I'm out of here for now. 

Hope everyone has a lovely weekend.

Mini Vacations in the South

I left Saturday at 9 a.m. headed for Jonesboro, Ga and I arrived around 5 p.m. CT. That's about when I expected to arrive, actually. I didn't stop for anything but the traffic jam in downtown Atlanta. There was an accident somewhere ahead and it took me about half an hour to get through a two mile stretch.

The trip was relatively uneventful. I gassed up in Henderson, Kentucky because fuel is about five cents cheaper there than it is across the river in Indiana. I popped in my Spanish language CD and for the next two hours I practiced Spanish. That is one very long CD! However, it got me to the Hopkinsville exit where I took a potty break and bought a diet coke that was fairly flat. However, I then plugged in the MP3 player with my old radio shows on it and from there all the way to Dalton Georgia I listened to Suspense. I had no idea I had that many radio shows on my MP3 player! It was really cool to be able to listen to them.

I stopped at the Lookout Mountain exit at 3 p.m. and had a very late lunch. I was going to stop earlier but I got off at an exit that the traffic flow was absolutely horrible and inconvenient. I got right back on the interstate and until I found another place better situated. I ate at Cracker Barrel and shopped a bit.

Once I arrived I was pretty much ready to get out of the car. However, there was a birthday party in progress and we were to go to dinner with my cousin and his family. It was nice to see them. Bed was a welcome retreat and it is a very comfortable bed. Sunday we went to church and then out to dinner with my Aunt & Uncle and my other cousin and his teenage boys and my other cousin's daughter. Nice kids and very entertaining.

I spent Sunday evening crocheting on Sarah's dress. It is taking shape.

Monday, today, we went to Juliette, Ga and had lunch at the Whistle Stop Cafe where they filmed Fried Green Tomatoes. I bought a copy of the movie. I always wanted a copy of it on DVD. It is one of my favorite movies and I'm looking forward to watching it again. I liked the tiny village lined along the street. The vendors are nice and not pushy and the food at the cafe was delicious. No, I did not eat barbecue ribs. I had fried chicken, collard greens, and white field peas with cornbread. I don't eat fried, green, tomatoes, southern girl though I am. I've never cared for them. I don't hate them, just don't find them appealing. However, I ate some here and actually, they're very good. They had a kind of chipotle sauce and the batter they cooked them in were both spicy and gave them more flavor. So, if they taste like the ones at the Whistle Stop, they're good. However, I can highly recommend the mixed berry cobbler a la mode. I could have eaten that right by itself.

It was very odd going into the cafe. I felt like I knew the place because I'd seen the movie and it is a favorite of mine. The sensation of deja vu was mild but present and not unpleasant. I'd like to come back when it is warm.

After we ate we strolled along the street and went into the half dozen shops. It was colder in some of the stores than it was outside. We went into Ruth and Idge's house and it was so warm. The lady there said she hated to be cold. So, take my advice, do this little jaunt on a nice spring day when everything is in bloom and green and warm.

Before we left we drove around the corner because one of the vendors said the big plantation house used in the movie is up for sale and we wanted to see it. I'm buying that when I meet that guy with the pots of money. Really.

We came home and I've been messing around on the computer while the aunt and uncle are at the funeral home visiting friends. I'll load the car soon and be ready to pull out tomorrow around 9 a.m. in the morning for Indiana.

I am off on Wednesday to recover from the drive and just relax a bit.

And that's a weekend vacation in the South for me. I need a whole bunch of them.

A Mish Mash of Maundering Melodrama

There are days when I totally forget my goal to post something every day. I've been going to work like a slave, plopping my butt in the chair and staying there until a specific amount of work is done. It is paying off for the moment but I don't know how long I can keep it up. I'm exhausted by the time I get home. And I'm annoyed because it has interfered with every plan I've made.

The only positive to this is that if I can do what I'm planning, I will be better off than I've been in a year. So, say a prayer that I can finish the items I have slated to finish by the 28th. Better yet, pray for no interruptions for the next two weeks. No phone calls, no walk-ins, no coworker catastrophes, and no boss ineptitude.

A real negative it that I've done none of the "real" writing I had planned. I'm simply too drained. I either read or I crochet, both of which requires minimal movement and occupies the brain in a way that decompresses me. Seriously, crochet is a very calming skill. You don't even have to be making anything important. A single stitch, four large skeins of your favorite color and a hook and you're set... for days if you want. If you hate it, you unravel it and make something else. When you're done, you don't remember what bugged you and you have a beautiful, warm wrap for the cold winter evenings with your favorite book.

I used to do quite a lot of crochet when the boys were small but got away from it. When Jerry died and I was cleaning out the closets I found this huge basket of yarn and some unfinished stuff. I also found one of those large popcorn tins filled with thread. So, I dragged it all out and once I started I realized that grief could be managed if you're under the influence of crochet. And now I'm making things like sweaters and dresses and shrugs! LOL, Sarah has at least 10 shrugs of various colors. A dress is nearly finished. I've made a friend a throw, am working on a afghan for Sarah, and another throw for someone else. It works.

Digression end.

But, no novel work and that ticks me off.

I leave for Atlanta Saturday. It is a six hour drive for me. I will return on Tuesday and go back to work on Thursday. Wednesday is a day of rest. David will be here while I'm gone. So, the house will be occupied by a 224 lb male with hands that can twist the head off a bull should you be so stupid as to break in. I once saw him shoot a mouse hiding beneath a chair in a lamp-lit bedroom with a pellet gun from 15 feet away. I told him he couldn't do it. He hit is twice and killed it. With something the size of a BB! He hit it twice! Oh, get over it. The mouse was trespassing. But while he owns no other firearms, he does have some other lethal weapons... silent ones.

Just sayin'.

I hope to relax during this jaunt. I'm carrying my Kindle, my laptop, crochet and my writing calendar. I need to just do the things I enjoy without anyone demanding something. My aunt and uncle will respect that. I'll have company and privacy. And she's a really good cook. . . with a dishwasher. I'll even load it!

The steroid course I was on has ended. I have had about three weeks without much pain and a brain that is operating at near normal levels. This week the hip is bugging me again. Not much, just reminding me that it is biding it's time. My back is really bothering me but I think this is because I've spent nearly a week sitting all day. I get up to talk with a client, check the mail, send a fax, return or get a file. I am in the very back of my office building. I have the longest jaunt to the files and front door. So I do get some activity. Some days I hate that walk to the front and will make the trip a dozen times before noon. On the plus side, if someone comes in and goes postal, I have the quickest escape route. The back door is just outside my door or I can shatter the window and step out. My car just 50 feet away.

I have no idea where that came from but it is always in my mind. We deal with some potentially unstable folks. Doesn't everyone these days?

I hate Valentines Day. I'm glad it is over.

Monday is another "holiday". I hesitate to call President's Day a holiday. It is not a Holy Day. It more aptly called an "honor day". I like that much better. I save my Holy Days for things that are truly worthy of the title.

And now, I'm going to bed. I've no idea what to call this post and recently read somewhere that titling blog post was a wasted effort. But I like catchy titles and I usually come up with good ones. Well, I think they're good.

Flight of the Week

I don't know where the week went. I've been so busy at work that I simply turned on the auto pilot and let the thing fly itself. We've landed, safely, at the weekend. I'm actually feeling physically better since they gave me the steroid. I have no idea what it has done to my blood sugar or triglycerides but I'm not thinking about it at the moment. It is nice to have practically no pain at all and feel as if I'm in my right mind for a change.

I've got plans. I work Monday and I'm off Tuesday. That will leave three days in the week to push through. They will be horrendous days of shoveling massive piles of files from one side of my desk, by way of entering the data into the computer, to the other side of my desk.

 On Monday night, the 11th, I have an Online Writers' Asylum meeting That's always fun. Agenda is sent out already.

On the 16th I'm driving down to Atlanta to visit my aunt and uncle. Monday, the 18th, is another holiday and I took Tuesday and Wednesday off. So, I'll stay until the 19th and come home on the 20th. I'm going alone. Dave will have Sarah that weekend and I'll miss that but he's got a friend who will be in town with her two little girls and they'll be doing things together. It will be good for both of them. And he needs to have time with Sarah to himself because he needs to know how to deal with it.

Then, I'll have Thursday and Friday to try and make up for the five days I didn't work. Just in case you didn't realize it, February is already a very short month, as months go, in regard to the kind of work I do. I have approximately 15 days in which to process what normally takes a full 30 day month. So, this will be a feat to rival the Augean Stables. Just so you know, I am not Hercules.

I've been messing around tonight trying to get my home network back online. I can do it one way but not the other. I mean, I can see and access files in my shared folder from the desktop but I can't do the same from the laptop. I think some settings still aren't right, despite the repair. As soon as I can sit down and make sure I'm backed up on the important stuff, I'm resetting everything to factory settings. I'd like to do it this week but if you read over the previous paragraphs you will realize that it is probably not going to happen. Then, I think I'll upgrade to Windows 7 while I still can.

On the 16th I was supposed to meet with a group of local NaNo writers who want to start meeting once a month. Then I realized I had this trip to Atlanta and so I've had to push that back to the last Saturday in February.

Compared to this past week, I suspect that the coming week will reach Mach speeds. Next flight is boarding now. Buckle up.

It Takes A Village

I love British mysteries. I cut my teeth on Agatha Christy and Dorthy L Sayers. For weeks now, I've been watching British mysteries on Netflix. I sit and crochet and watch for hours in the evening. I'm into about the seventh season of Midsomer Murders. It is just one of my favorites.

I don't know how the country of Britain is subdivided. I haven't been interested enough to look it up and assume it is similar to our divisions. In America we have states that have counties with towns and a county seat. Louisiana has parishes but it is six of one and half dozen of the other. Kentucky is a commonwealth but still has counties.

In Midsomer Murders the towns are usually different but they all appear to be in one sort of county, Midsomer, i.e. Midsomer Worthy I take to mean the town of Worthy in the county of Midsomer. If I'm wrong my loyal Brits readers will kindly correct me. But you get my drift.

While watching the show the other night I got to thinking. This Midsomer place is a veritable pit of sin and murder. I mean, every show is full of the most awful old bats and nosy neighbors, and vicious gossips. Every show has more than one murder. And the nicest people all seem to have these nasty vices or they seem totally naive about all of it.

So, I wondered... exactly what are those little English villages like? Seriously, they're small. All of the Midsomer villages are picturesque, cozy, and people seem so friendly on the surface and then, bam, someone is bashed over the head with a brick, or lamp, or candlestick. If they aren't bashed with something, they're blasted with a shotgun, of which there seems to be a awful lot of in Midsomer. Every one, including Granny has a shotgun. I know Britain has strict gun laws. I mean, even the DCI doesn't have a gun when he goes haring after the murderer. More than once I thought, "Stop, you fool! Get a gun before you go in there!" But no, he never does. And they never kill him! They don't even shoot him. Generally, they don't even hit him. He walks over and just snatches the gun away and that handsome chap that blindly follows him handcuffs the offender. All neat and tidy, despite the fact that this person just murdered half the town with an ax.

I always thought it would be nice to live in one of those villages. My friend, Jilly, moved to one last year. She seems very happy and so much more involved in the local events now. She's invited me to come for a visit and I've been really wanting to do that. But now I'm beginning to wonder. I've seen what goes on in these little hotbeds of vice.

I must ask her if Simon owns a shotgun.