Monday, April 8, 2013

Moving the Rocks on the Ledge

I managed to get to work on time. I'm not where I was last Wednesday but I'm still battling some fatigue. Not as much. I've got some dizziness as well. One ear is really ringing. So, why one ear? I have congestion in my head so maybe that's it. But wonder of wonders... very little pain elsewhere. Praise God! Dealing with one thing is way easier than a half dozen.

I'm job hunting. No, they didn't lay me off. In fact, I just got my evaluation and my job performance was 100%. However, he gave me an 85 for my attendance. Don't know why since I'm only out on vacations and if I'm sick. I've had a lot of issues this year with illness but I use the sick time I'm allotted and I only get two weeks a year. And I usually have sick time to take so if I was abusing it how could that be? Of course this is the same person who can't figure out how to fix a paper jam in his printer.

I'm working on my outlook. I've been so busy feeling awful that it's pretty hard to see anything but gray skies. I watched some video's this weekend by Beth Moore. I've got one of her books and I really love it. She's a Christian speaker and she's amazing. Anyway, I watched a video When Life has you Paralyzed. I have to say it was meant for me. I've also been reading a book called The Secret Place. Both have been what I needed to hear while I was sick.

I'm also about to limit my extracurricular activities to things that matter most. I am spreading myself too thin and doing things that do not push me in the right direction. That's got to stop. A lot of things are just excuses not to do something else. Mostly, I am trying to change me and surround myself with the things that build me up. I've come to realize that this means removing things.

There is so much that is empty in what we do, what I do. I don't want that anymore. It is making me unhappy. Some of my "fun" things are a waste of time and really going nowhere. Some of the things I think I have to do are boring and really unnecessary. Some of the things I'm doing out of habit are time stealers. And I don't like my job anymore.

So, job hunting. Removing the bad habits. Stopping wasting my time on dead-end pursuits. Will I accomplish them all? If I can get one thing done, I suspect it would help with the others. We'll see.

I'm going to try a go to the Y two or three times a week. That's hard for me because I'm really tired in the evenings. It will cut into internet time but that's one of those dead end things so I'm trying to reorganize how much I spend there. I've done less mindless internet stuff this past week than usual. So, I've started. We'll see.

Writing is a priority. I'm working on doing more but not hard enough. Rather than talk about writing, I want to write. The blog may morph again soon or I may start a new one with a different goal. Lots of ideas churning around because I couldn't do much but sit and stare out.

The title I thought sums it up. I'll be posting the usual about Life here on the Ledge.


  1. You are on the right track, Cynthia. We really have to stop letting things steal our joy. We need to be more joyful and joy-filled. You remain in my prayers and I wish you tons of luck with the job search! It's easier ('they' say) to get a joy when you still have one. Please keep us posted! Hugs!

  2. I would like a post that tells me what practical things you are doing to surround yourself with things that build you up.


    1. I'll have to see about that, Chris. That's good idea.