Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Drowning

I'm living some kind of nightmare. Really. I am so sick and I don't know what is wrong with me. I feel as if I've been forced march through hell. I'm tired, more tired than I can ever remember being. I walk from one end of the building to the other and have to sit down when I get back to my office and can barely think straight. I can't concentrate at all.  I have no idea what is causing it.

No, I haven't  been to the doctor. They were both on spring break. No, I did not consider the ER. My ER copay is $100 plus 10% of the bill. Do you know what the ER is costing these days? About $15,000. Ain't happenin'.

I went to bed at 9:30 last night. The night before at 10:30. Tonight... soon.Nothing I do seems to help. And it comes on in waves. I seem fine when suddenly I'm hit with this wave of total ... exhaustion doesn't begin to describe it. I've had dizziness. My neck hurts. My head hurts now and then, but it usually does when I have neck pain. I just want to lie down and my stress level from all this is making me an emotional wreck.

 I have a doctor's appt in two weeks but I'm not sure it will matter. They never find anything they can do. And I get tired of going to hear the same thing.

I'm drowning in this.

7 comments:

  1. This is somewhat how I felt from Thanksgiving until the middle of January. I never figured out what it was.

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  2. I wish I had an answer. Time to go after a diagnosis, Cynthia. Don't let your doctor push you aside. If s/he does, time to find a new doctor. Ask for a second opinion. Blood sugar? Blood pressure? Seems like it's time for an MRI or CT scan. I'm so sorry you are feeling so bad.

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  3. I am free to say this because I live in Chicago and you cannot slap me.

    Have you ever considered allergies? Have you been to an allergist?

    Have you had problem with dampness under your house--I don't remember if it's on a slab or not.
    Is it possible you have food sensitivities?
    Do you have a gas leak anywhere? Has that been checked? My in-laws had a leak in their house for years--a very small leak and it made them sick.

    I feel safe asking these things because I am FAR enough away from you. Hugs hugs hugs

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  4. Maybe the doctor will figure it out this time (says the lady often accused of being too optimistic).

    Chris has some good ideas. I would add the potential of drug interactions or a new sensitivity to something you've been taking for a while.

    Like Chris, I'm too far away for you to slap me. :-)

    It's really nice to hear you're still working, though!

    Lots of hugs and hopes you have a good night's sleep.

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  5. Having gone through months of doctors trying to figure out what was wrong with David, I understand from a caregiver viewpoint, not the personal pain of unexplained symptoms. Praying that some doctor will be the catalyst our ophthalmologist was and request the defining test. I do not understand our medical system where an ER visit is not well covered, but if we get worse and are hospitalized, it is. That's been our experience these past years. (I almost left 'past year', but time is passing!!)

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  6. So sorry you've been going through all this. I think it's worth checking out what Kat and Chris advised. Start scanning through patient forums for all those symptoms. You never know. And I wish I was close enough for you to slap, then I could give you a great big hug! Hope you find some answers soon.

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  7. Here's another possibility:
    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/learnvest/burn-out-work_b_2999146.html?utm_hp_ref=small-business
    The article lists 10 signs you might be burning out. Useful markers for anyone, really.

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