I'm not sure what I thought a vacation would be like. I've had some rather nice getaways over the years and always enjoyed it. I'm not having any fun this time. I'm stuck in unbearable heat and find I do not want to do anything to work up a sweat. And there is much that needs doing. But then, that doesn't feel like a vacation.
So, I've messed around on the computer for days, spent time reading my book, and playing with Sarah. Sarah went home last night and is in day care today.
I was going to try and do some things in the yard but it is too crazy hot to bother with that. I need to tackle the study and get the wall finished and ceiling repaired. Then, paint it. But it is too much work to contemplate.
I'm not sure what is wrong with me. I have a complete and total lack of interest in anything at all. I would so love to sit outside but don't dare in this heat. You can't find a cool spot anywhere! I suppose I could try and go out under David's tree but it is a long way from the house. Although, I just stepped out there and it is probably several degrees cooler under that tree. I'm going to get several more trees this week and put in the yard. I need shade trees bad, both front and back. The porch is a heat sink so sitting there has not been much fun. But it looks nice. A tree for shade would fix it. Of course, I may never reap the benefit of them. It has taken nearly 17 years for David's tree to become the shade it is.
Cassie posted her first challenge on the Asylum blog. I have been working on my response to the challenge for about three days and am nearly done. I think I'll post it for everyone to see. It will not be a story as far as I know, just a character work up. I will limit it to my contacts probably.
I'm off now to find something else to get me interested.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Monday, May 30, 2011
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Blog Crazy
I started another blog..... {sigh}. Yes, I did. Well, actually, I'm hoping that the writing group will co-author it with me. I've set it up and sent them the notices. It would make it easier to keep up with some things for the group. Here's the link if you want to look. The Writers' Asylum
I don't know it they'll want to bother. Doug and I talked about it a little bit last year but we didn't actually group discuss it. And we got no further than the idea stage. I decided to go one step more and toss out the idea in a more concrete fashion. If no one wants to bother... well, I can always delete it. I don't actually have time to do all the posting. I already have several blogs out there but not all are active. Some are just novels I put out there for protection and to make it easier to share when I wanted to share.
Anyway, take a look. We're discussing t-shirts too and the logo is on the blog.
I don't know it they'll want to bother. Doug and I talked about it a little bit last year but we didn't actually group discuss it. And we got no further than the idea stage. I decided to go one step more and toss out the idea in a more concrete fashion. If no one wants to bother... well, I can always delete it. I don't actually have time to do all the posting. I already have several blogs out there but not all are active. Some are just novels I put out there for protection and to make it easier to share when I wanted to share.
Anyway, take a look. We're discussing t-shirts too and the logo is on the blog.
Friday, May 27, 2011
A Sunless Day
Vacation begin under a cloudy, cold sky. It is 55 degrees! I don't know what that is about. I nearly froze to death over night and hurt absolutely everywhere. I'm not in a vacation mood at all. The phone company just left. Still more trouble with those stupid jacks. My fax machine in the study/library/office didn't work. It is brand new and worked in the other room so it isn't that.
I had a writer's meeting last night. It went well but only four of us. Cassie, Doug, Melina and me. Oh, Cassie brought a visiting friend, Faith with her. She said she enjoyed the herself. She is an English major in college. So, lots of youth in the house. They're very energetic.
Doug stayed a bit later but he usually does. We usually spend time talking about his writing or mine. I'm usually a lot clearer once he's torn the whole thing apart with his questions. He really is very good at getting to the core of the story. I have a hard time keeping up at times and have to think about it or ask him to repeat a question. Last night he paced and talked me through Simon's knotty story. I have some clearer ideas this morning but feel absolutely overwhelmed by the scope. I need to get it down. I should probably start taping the sessions!
At one point I explained something to him and he stared at me and shook his head, "You are creating your own Bounty!" Bounty is his book that is probably several and that we usually critique parts of. The scope is very broad and it has become a joke of sorts when we each get into stories that seem to have no end. His story is very good but HUGE. We've been pushing him to narrow his scope and focus on one character and his/her story.
I probably should go and dress. I had to actually turn on the heat because it was so cold and I was in a lot of pain from the stiffness caused by being cold all night. Yes, I took off the electric blanket. But it was 80 degrees, for goodness sake. You can't sleep under blankets. I still have a quilt and a woven blanket and sheet over me. But they aren't heavy and they tend to get cold in themselves.
I'll be dropping in over the course of the week from somewhere. I don't have anything in mind at the moment. Today, I just want to do nothing.
I had a writer's meeting last night. It went well but only four of us. Cassie, Doug, Melina and me. Oh, Cassie brought a visiting friend, Faith with her. She said she enjoyed the herself. She is an English major in college. So, lots of youth in the house. They're very energetic.
Doug stayed a bit later but he usually does. We usually spend time talking about his writing or mine. I'm usually a lot clearer once he's torn the whole thing apart with his questions. He really is very good at getting to the core of the story. I have a hard time keeping up at times and have to think about it or ask him to repeat a question. Last night he paced and talked me through Simon's knotty story. I have some clearer ideas this morning but feel absolutely overwhelmed by the scope. I need to get it down. I should probably start taping the sessions!
At one point I explained something to him and he stared at me and shook his head, "You are creating your own Bounty!" Bounty is his book that is probably several and that we usually critique parts of. The scope is very broad and it has become a joke of sorts when we each get into stories that seem to have no end. His story is very good but HUGE. We've been pushing him to narrow his scope and focus on one character and his/her story.
I probably should go and dress. I had to actually turn on the heat because it was so cold and I was in a lot of pain from the stiffness caused by being cold all night. Yes, I took off the electric blanket. But it was 80 degrees, for goodness sake. You can't sleep under blankets. I still have a quilt and a woven blanket and sheet over me. But they aren't heavy and they tend to get cold in themselves.
I'll be dropping in over the course of the week from somewhere. I don't have anything in mind at the moment. Today, I just want to do nothing.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
It's Friday.... MY Friday
Yes, 5 p.m. today begins my so-called vacation. Not what I had envisioned, of course, but I'll take what I can get. Work will be exceptionally tedious.
The trip to Mammoth is off. My sister is sick. Glad I didn't book a hotel.It is not my lot to go anywhere. The heat is supposed to get to 90 by Sunday. This morning it is partly sunny. Some heavy dark clouds passing over with bouts of sun breaking in. To the West it seems to have cleared a lot. Might be a pretty but I suspect warm day. Currently 66 degrees but that won't last. There is a stiff breeze.
I've had my coffee and breakfast and will now gather up my gear and head back into the mine, feet dragging, shoulders drooping, eyes downcast.
PLOP!
Eyes forward. Shoulders back, feet dragging.
The trip to Mammoth is off. My sister is sick. Glad I didn't book a hotel.It is not my lot to go anywhere. The heat is supposed to get to 90 by Sunday. This morning it is partly sunny. Some heavy dark clouds passing over with bouts of sun breaking in. To the West it seems to have cleared a lot. Might be a pretty but I suspect warm day. Currently 66 degrees but that won't last. There is a stiff breeze.
I've had my coffee and breakfast and will now gather up my gear and head back into the mine, feet dragging, shoulders drooping, eyes downcast.
PLOP!
Eyes forward. Shoulders back, feet dragging.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Decorating and Other Woes
I was messing around with my page layout and design but I wasn't happy with the results and so gave it up after spending too much time on it. I used to spend hours learning CSS and I changed my page sometimes once a week. Now, not so much. I'm just not into it but I do get bored now and then. I saved the code for several of my pages and all I need do is past it in but I still like starting over.
I have been trying to read some. I'm reading the second and latest Richard Castle novel "Naked Heat." If you watch the t.v. show "Castle" you'll know what I'm talking about. If you don't, you won't.
To make it easier for you... The novels are written by a fictional character, Richard Castle, on a fictional ABC t.v. show called Castle. The show is about this fictional writer who shadows a detective as research for his detective novels which are about a fictional female detective and the writer who shadows her on her job. On the show, the character talks about his novels and when they are going to be available. And all the fans, me included, rush out to buy them. It is the ultimate fictional novel! And they are actually good.
The writer, Richard Castle, is played by actor Nathan Fillion. He also played on the sci-fi show, "Firefly" and it's spin-off movie, "Serenity". He is not fictional. He's real.
I could watch him sell soap. He could sell me soap. . . who am I kidding, he could sell me just about anything.
I'm thinking about going to Bowling Green with my sister and visiting Mammoth cave again or at least the area. She's never been and my last experience was not fun. She is off Friday and Saturday so we'd do it then. Nina, how far are you from Bowling Green?
So, now I'm off to bed, late again. But, tomorrow is Wednesday and only two days until I'm off for about 10 days.
I have been trying to read some. I'm reading the second and latest Richard Castle novel "Naked Heat." If you watch the t.v. show "Castle" you'll know what I'm talking about. If you don't, you won't.
To make it easier for you... The novels are written by a fictional character, Richard Castle, on a fictional ABC t.v. show called Castle. The show is about this fictional writer who shadows a detective as research for his detective novels which are about a fictional female detective and the writer who shadows her on her job. On the show, the character talks about his novels and when they are going to be available. And all the fans, me included, rush out to buy them. It is the ultimate fictional novel! And they are actually good.
The writer, Richard Castle, is played by actor Nathan Fillion. He also played on the sci-fi show, "Firefly" and it's spin-off movie, "Serenity". He is not fictional. He's real.
I could watch him sell soap. He could sell me soap. . . who am I kidding, he could sell me just about anything.
I'm thinking about going to Bowling Green with my sister and visiting Mammoth cave again or at least the area. She's never been and my last experience was not fun. She is off Friday and Saturday so we'd do it then. Nina, how far are you from Bowling Green?
So, now I'm off to bed, late again. But, tomorrow is Wednesday and only two days until I'm off for about 10 days.
The Earl
I made reference in my recent video blog to The Earl of Sandwich. I was shocked that my friend Jilly, a Brit, never heard of the Earl of Sandwich. (John Montagu, the Fourth Earl of Sandwich (1718-1792) At any rate, here is a link to the short version, both informative and entertaining.
http://www.wordsources.info/words-mod-sandwich.html
http://www.wordsources.info/words-mod-sandwich.html
Saturday, May 21, 2011
The End is Not Yet
We all know the world is supposed to end today. Day isn't over but millions woke today to find themselves still here.
I was going to post this as a comment on someone's blog but realized I'd gone over board. I don't usually preach on my blog. I try to live my faith and show you how I do that by my posts. I hope I am successful. But this is one instance I'm disgusted and will give my sermon.
It is guys like the Reverend (I use the term loosely) Camping that are the reason Christians have to take a lot of flack. He's caused someone somewhere to lose their faith. He's caused fear in others for no good reason. He's made a laughingstock of believers. He has brought shame on the Word of God. Fortunately, none of those are an unforgivable sin!
Let's say someone out there was afraid he was right and knew they were not ready to meet God. Do you believe for one minute that today that person will be rushing out to find the nearest church after the obvious fake prophecy? I don't think so. They are immensely relieved he was wrong and furious that he frightened them for nothing. How stupid to use the Bible and its teachings so carelessly and foolishly.
No one can predict when God is going to call your name. Even Jesus said this in the very book this so called minister of the Gospel says he's got his information. He basically called Jesus Christ a liar and stated that he knew more than even Jesus. But he professes to be a follower!
Bottom line, God is going to come for everyone of us at some point in time. We will ALL die because it is in our nature to die. For the believer, we believe the Bible says that our current bodies can't enter heaven! Even those "caught up" in the Rapture will not be able to take their current bodies. They will be changed. Death of the body is the change, folks. So if you thought you were going to miss that, you're wrong. I may die today. You may, also. Life is filled with last moments. If that happens, we'll meet God right then. He may come back in the moment in a twinkling of an eye for millions at a time. We will meet Him right then. He called the names of thousands on 9/11. Believe me, they were not expecting it. No one was. That is the message the Bible gives to all. "For in such an hour as you think not. . ."
Regardless of how He takes you or when He takes you, you must be prepared to stand blameless before him. This too is the message that reasonable Christians believe and that the Bible teaches. We are not perfect and can't hope to be perfect before a sovereign God. The life, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, in our faith, was the atonement for imperfect lives. It covers our imperfections so we can stand. If you don't believe, that doesn't change it. For us it is fact. If you do believe it and refuse to obey it, it still doesn't change it.
The end comes for everyone at some point. I can't tell you when. I can only tell you that I firmly believe there is an end, that there is life after you leave this place, and that we are accountable for the choices we make. We're going to be asked about those in detail.
Mama always said that you should live as if today is your last day on earth but plan as if you will live to be 100. It is advice I've struggled to follow. It isn't easy. But I hope that when my name is called that He finds no fault in me. And frankly, I don't need the Reverend Campings of the world to tell me when that time is coming. I'm not deaf and I'm listening for the call.
I was going to post this as a comment on someone's blog but realized I'd gone over board. I don't usually preach on my blog. I try to live my faith and show you how I do that by my posts. I hope I am successful. But this is one instance I'm disgusted and will give my sermon.
It is guys like the Reverend (I use the term loosely) Camping that are the reason Christians have to take a lot of flack. He's caused someone somewhere to lose their faith. He's caused fear in others for no good reason. He's made a laughingstock of believers. He has brought shame on the Word of God. Fortunately, none of those are an unforgivable sin!
Let's say someone out there was afraid he was right and knew they were not ready to meet God. Do you believe for one minute that today that person will be rushing out to find the nearest church after the obvious fake prophecy? I don't think so. They are immensely relieved he was wrong and furious that he frightened them for nothing. How stupid to use the Bible and its teachings so carelessly and foolishly.
No one can predict when God is going to call your name. Even Jesus said this in the very book this so called minister of the Gospel says he's got his information. He basically called Jesus Christ a liar and stated that he knew more than even Jesus. But he professes to be a follower!
Bottom line, God is going to come for everyone of us at some point in time. We will ALL die because it is in our nature to die. For the believer, we believe the Bible says that our current bodies can't enter heaven! Even those "caught up" in the Rapture will not be able to take their current bodies. They will be changed. Death of the body is the change, folks. So if you thought you were going to miss that, you're wrong. I may die today. You may, also. Life is filled with last moments. If that happens, we'll meet God right then. He may come back in the moment in a twinkling of an eye for millions at a time. We will meet Him right then. He called the names of thousands on 9/11. Believe me, they were not expecting it. No one was. That is the message the Bible gives to all. "For in such an hour as you think not. . ."
Regardless of how He takes you or when He takes you, you must be prepared to stand blameless before him. This too is the message that reasonable Christians believe and that the Bible teaches. We are not perfect and can't hope to be perfect before a sovereign God. The life, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, in our faith, was the atonement for imperfect lives. It covers our imperfections so we can stand. If you don't believe, that doesn't change it. For us it is fact. If you do believe it and refuse to obey it, it still doesn't change it.
The end comes for everyone at some point. I can't tell you when. I can only tell you that I firmly believe there is an end, that there is life after you leave this place, and that we are accountable for the choices we make. We're going to be asked about those in detail.
Mama always said that you should live as if today is your last day on earth but plan as if you will live to be 100. It is advice I've struggled to follow. It isn't easy. But I hope that when my name is called that He finds no fault in me. And frankly, I don't need the Reverend Campings of the world to tell me when that time is coming. I'm not deaf and I'm listening for the call.
Friday, May 20, 2011
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Day Drags Along
I'm halfway through the day and about to take my lunch break. When my co-worker is absent I tend to go later. Makes the day pass much faster. I'm leaving to pick up Mike and then go to lunch. I promised him that I'd take him today.
I worked on the sweater a bit last night but got so tired I simply had to go to bed. I'm still tired. I think it is the weather. It is still rather gloomy and cool, only 56 degrees today and it was cold last night. I had removed my electric blanket over the weekend and when I got home I regretted it. I got some blankets and put on top of my spread and that was plenty. If all else fails I can turn the electric throw on and it will warm me up.
I have some writing to do at some point but I'm not really inclined, I think. I simply want a quiet place to relax and warm up in the sun. It seems my vacation may be a nice wash out too if the forecast are accurate. Looks as if the weather systems are still going to bring wet, gloomy weather through the next week. So, I'm not taking my vacation early. I have no intention of sitting inside watching the storms if I can possibly avoid it. I've been doing that all winter.
Honestly the who vacation idea has sort of fallen apart. I don't actually have the money to go anywhere I'd like to go and it isn't really any fun at all going alone to some place strange.
I've said all this before. I'm boring.
Ok, enough. I'm hungry and I can go eat. I just heard the boss say he was sleepy! So it isn't just me.
I worked on the sweater a bit last night but got so tired I simply had to go to bed. I'm still tired. I think it is the weather. It is still rather gloomy and cool, only 56 degrees today and it was cold last night. I had removed my electric blanket over the weekend and when I got home I regretted it. I got some blankets and put on top of my spread and that was plenty. If all else fails I can turn the electric throw on and it will warm me up.
I have some writing to do at some point but I'm not really inclined, I think. I simply want a quiet place to relax and warm up in the sun. It seems my vacation may be a nice wash out too if the forecast are accurate. Looks as if the weather systems are still going to bring wet, gloomy weather through the next week. So, I'm not taking my vacation early. I have no intention of sitting inside watching the storms if I can possibly avoid it. I've been doing that all winter.
Honestly the who vacation idea has sort of fallen apart. I don't actually have the money to go anywhere I'd like to go and it isn't really any fun at all going alone to some place strange.
I've said all this before. I'm boring.
Ok, enough. I'm hungry and I can go eat. I just heard the boss say he was sleepy! So it isn't just me.
Monday, May 16, 2011
Mom Reportedly Loses Custody of Daughter After Revealing Girl's Botox Injections - FoxNews.com
Link
That didn't take long. Some of you will remember this story from Chris' post last week. Shocking as it was I find this very sad. The first blow to a child's psyche.
That didn't take long. Some of you will remember this story from Chris' post last week. Shocking as it was I find this very sad. The first blow to a child's psyche.
Mississippi National River and Recreation Area - Mississippi River Facts (U.S. National Park Service)
Link
In light of all the media attention the flood of 2011 is receiving, I thought this would give those not as closely acquainted with the Mississippi River watershed a little better understanding of exactly how much water we're talking about. The media can tell us in gallons and cubic feet per minute and volume. But take a look at the facts about the river and this watershed that nearly 50% of the nation is a part of.
"The watershed measures approximately 1.2 million square miles, covering about 40% of the lower 48 states." When you consider how much rain has fallen in the watershed in the last 60 days and that the runoff is all racing toward these major rivers and eventually to the lower Mississippi, it is not surprising at the magnitude of what is happening in the delta region. There is a lot of water coming their way.
I think what is happening is both fascinating and very sad. This is one of the poorest areas of the country. Poverty levels are terrible. Most of these folks will lose every thing they own. Much of their livelihood comes from the river.
Alternatively, I'm a firm believer that nature does what is good for itself, meaning that floods are to be expected and are actually good for the environment. If allowed to flow normally, a new river path would have been carved out long ago and some the the problems the delta has had in recent years would have been avoided and possibly eliminated. It would be a healthier delta, albeit slight different.
Anyway, enjoy learning about this fascinating river. It is no wonder it has been featured in hundreds of stories and films.
In light of all the media attention the flood of 2011 is receiving, I thought this would give those not as closely acquainted with the Mississippi River watershed a little better understanding of exactly how much water we're talking about. The media can tell us in gallons and cubic feet per minute and volume. But take a look at the facts about the river and this watershed that nearly 50% of the nation is a part of.
"The watershed measures approximately 1.2 million square miles, covering about 40% of the lower 48 states." When you consider how much rain has fallen in the watershed in the last 60 days and that the runoff is all racing toward these major rivers and eventually to the lower Mississippi, it is not surprising at the magnitude of what is happening in the delta region. There is a lot of water coming their way.
I think what is happening is both fascinating and very sad. This is one of the poorest areas of the country. Poverty levels are terrible. Most of these folks will lose every thing they own. Much of their livelihood comes from the river.
Alternatively, I'm a firm believer that nature does what is good for itself, meaning that floods are to be expected and are actually good for the environment. If allowed to flow normally, a new river path would have been carved out long ago and some the the problems the delta has had in recent years would have been avoided and possibly eliminated. It would be a healthier delta, albeit slight different.
Anyway, enjoy learning about this fascinating river. It is no wonder it has been featured in hundreds of stories and films.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
"What Happened to the Weekend?"
She asked in confusion.
I was released from the hospital around 6 p.m. and am now ensconced in my bed with my laptop. A great investment this little computer.
I'm tired. Mike is staying with me a few days, if I can handle his fidgeting. It is more for his benefit than mine. I think he is worried. He has had very little sleep and I'm hoping to get him to go to bed tonight and sleep. I told him he has to if he stays over.
They have told me to follow up with a cardiologist if I continue to have any chest pains in the next four weeks. I really think this was an anxiety attack. But it is always better to be safe than sorry in these things.
I am considering asking Marques to let me take my vacation starting this week instead of next week. I have Friday off and that's a free day and Monday as well so that would be two days less than I would be using of my vacation time. This lets me save more vacation time for later, when things are a bit calmer. They will get calmer, won't they?
Honestly, my life feels like a roller coaster of calamity. I'm really rather tired of that. I'd take boring for a few months just to see how the other half lives.
Many thanks to all those who prayed for me and who asked prayer for me. Please continue to keep me in prayer. I know it works.
I am so blessed by your friendship. When I was able to check my email and saw all those notes and comments and then calls began to come in, I was so very touched by the concern and love that came from hundreds and thousands of miles from my hospital room. I do not know what I would do without you. And words do not begin to say it. Thank you and I pray that God will bless you because you have blessed me.
I was released from the hospital around 6 p.m. and am now ensconced in my bed with my laptop. A great investment this little computer.
I'm tired. Mike is staying with me a few days, if I can handle his fidgeting. It is more for his benefit than mine. I think he is worried. He has had very little sleep and I'm hoping to get him to go to bed tonight and sleep. I told him he has to if he stays over.
They have told me to follow up with a cardiologist if I continue to have any chest pains in the next four weeks. I really think this was an anxiety attack. But it is always better to be safe than sorry in these things.
I am considering asking Marques to let me take my vacation starting this week instead of next week. I have Friday off and that's a free day and Monday as well so that would be two days less than I would be using of my vacation time. This lets me save more vacation time for later, when things are a bit calmer. They will get calmer, won't they?
Honestly, my life feels like a roller coaster of calamity. I'm really rather tired of that. I'd take boring for a few months just to see how the other half lives.
Many thanks to all those who prayed for me and who asked prayer for me. Please continue to keep me in prayer. I know it works.
I am so blessed by your friendship. When I was able to check my email and saw all those notes and comments and then calls began to come in, I was so very touched by the concern and love that came from hundreds and thousands of miles from my hospital room. I do not know what I would do without you. And words do not begin to say it. Thank you and I pray that God will bless you because you have blessed me.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
First Cup
I'm having the first cup of coffee of the day. I didn't used to drink coffee except in winter and that very very rarely. Jerry bought this coffee for me to try because he knew I liked flavored coffee. I had a terrible headache that day and it cleared it up. So, I've had a cup a day ever since. That was at least three years ago. Despite medical advice telling me to stop drinking coffee, I've not stopped. That first cup altered my life.
I didn't post last night. Once I got home, it was later than usual. After a bath and snack, I actually sat down to read my Bible when my sister called to update me on a family situation. After talking to her for about a hour I called to check on Randy because he was not well but he was asleep and I talked to Lisa, his wife for over an hour. By the time I got done it was nearly ten. I watched a show on the computer until nearly midnight.
I am tired this morning. I've had two late nights in a row and I have to stop that.
The situation we are concerned about can't be fixed or helped. I am upset but not to the extent that the others are. Not because I do not care but because I'm not there with them. That is probably a good thing.
Something happened that has simply devastated my siblings and other members of my family. Because of them I won't share it. But sometimes, choices made long ago have such far reaching repercussions. In my world view the harvest of a person's sin may not be reaped until a generation is past. Usually those who watch it my not understand it and be totally broken by such events. The Bible says that the sins of the fathers are visited on the children. That doesn't mean that the children have no choices. Life is all about choices, some good and some bad. That is what is happening in my family. There were bad choices made and there are consequences to bad choices that wound even more people.
Proverbs says that we have sown the wind and shall reap the whirlwind. In this day and age if a person doesn't think we are living in a whirlwind, they're blind. This generation is reaping the first cup of the whirlwind. We have sown our wild oats and the harvest is a bumper crop. Reaping is hard work and the bigger the crop, the harder the work. This is true in my own family.
Last night, after my calls I picked up an old Sunday school book I had found recently. It wasn't lost, just on a shelf forgotten. It was dated 1985-1988. Then, I remembered 1982, three years before I'd bought it in hardback. Jerry and I had thought we were home for good. We'd come back from Italy to our home town and were there to stay. I could see us sitting in that little church. I felt the happiness of being with my family in the place I was raised worshiping the God of my Mama. Then I remembered the choices that brought us there to that place and how it changed our life forever. Because of those choices we went down a different path. And here I am today.
We make them every day. Every minute. And they seem small taken one at a time. But the cumulative effects of choices is life altering, not just to the person making the choices but to those around them. I started a book on grief shortly after Jerry died. It was about a minister who lost his wife and son in a fiery automobile accident. I remember him saying if she had turned a different direction, if he had held her up just a few moments longer life would have been different. It seems a small thing. But it isn't. That small choice altered multiple lives. He was alone with a small daughter to raise and a church to shepherd. It was a bad choice she made that day but she couldn't know the impact it would have. You say it is life but to negate the power of choice is to make us automatons, robots who have no power to change ourselves or our circumstances. Choice is the gift of God.
If Jerry had not made a bad choice in 1982 life would have been forever altered. I caused him to make that bad choice because of something I did. By the time we realized what we'd set in motion, we were feeling the effects of it. Had I stopped to consider what my actions could set in motion, I'd have never stepped on the plane. Jerry would have still been in the military, have gotten far better medical care and may have added several years to his life. It is very possible I'd not be here alone. My actions began a series of events that have ended up hurting me more than anyone else. Life altered in an unexpected direction. I had choices. I could have made a different one.
If different choices had been made in this current family situation, at least 20 people would have taken different paths. Their lives would very possibly have been radically different. Their choices would have been effected. It is unfortunate that we can't see the effects of choices. Of course, the next generation had choices and in this instance one person's terrible choices have lead to the heartbreak of a dozen.
Joshua said to the Hebrew children "Choose you this day whom you will serve. As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord."
A man chooses to buy a gun for protection. He shoots his neighbor. A child decided, against parental instruction to play ball in the front yard and is hit by a car. Choices made.
Life will not be easy no matter the choices we make. I speak from experience. It will hurt in unbearable ways. Tragedy will happen. People will get sick, die, break, wound. But the choices we all make will affect these things. Consider the choices you make, look down the highway, consider the path you walk or drive. How will your life be affected by the direction you take? How will those you love be affected? Who will feel the repercussions of your choices?
You can't predict everything but you can lessen the impact of your choices if you simply choose this day whom you serve.
I didn't post last night. Once I got home, it was later than usual. After a bath and snack, I actually sat down to read my Bible when my sister called to update me on a family situation. After talking to her for about a hour I called to check on Randy because he was not well but he was asleep and I talked to Lisa, his wife for over an hour. By the time I got done it was nearly ten. I watched a show on the computer until nearly midnight.
I am tired this morning. I've had two late nights in a row and I have to stop that.
The situation we are concerned about can't be fixed or helped. I am upset but not to the extent that the others are. Not because I do not care but because I'm not there with them. That is probably a good thing.
Something happened that has simply devastated my siblings and other members of my family. Because of them I won't share it. But sometimes, choices made long ago have such far reaching repercussions. In my world view the harvest of a person's sin may not be reaped until a generation is past. Usually those who watch it my not understand it and be totally broken by such events. The Bible says that the sins of the fathers are visited on the children. That doesn't mean that the children have no choices. Life is all about choices, some good and some bad. That is what is happening in my family. There were bad choices made and there are consequences to bad choices that wound even more people.
Proverbs says that we have sown the wind and shall reap the whirlwind. In this day and age if a person doesn't think we are living in a whirlwind, they're blind. This generation is reaping the first cup of the whirlwind. We have sown our wild oats and the harvest is a bumper crop. Reaping is hard work and the bigger the crop, the harder the work. This is true in my own family.
Last night, after my calls I picked up an old Sunday school book I had found recently. It wasn't lost, just on a shelf forgotten. It was dated 1985-1988. Then, I remembered 1982, three years before I'd bought it in hardback. Jerry and I had thought we were home for good. We'd come back from Italy to our home town and were there to stay. I could see us sitting in that little church. I felt the happiness of being with my family in the place I was raised worshiping the God of my Mama. Then I remembered the choices that brought us there to that place and how it changed our life forever. Because of those choices we went down a different path. And here I am today.
We make them every day. Every minute. And they seem small taken one at a time. But the cumulative effects of choices is life altering, not just to the person making the choices but to those around them. I started a book on grief shortly after Jerry died. It was about a minister who lost his wife and son in a fiery automobile accident. I remember him saying if she had turned a different direction, if he had held her up just a few moments longer life would have been different. It seems a small thing. But it isn't. That small choice altered multiple lives. He was alone with a small daughter to raise and a church to shepherd. It was a bad choice she made that day but she couldn't know the impact it would have. You say it is life but to negate the power of choice is to make us automatons, robots who have no power to change ourselves or our circumstances. Choice is the gift of God.
If Jerry had not made a bad choice in 1982 life would have been forever altered. I caused him to make that bad choice because of something I did. By the time we realized what we'd set in motion, we were feeling the effects of it. Had I stopped to consider what my actions could set in motion, I'd have never stepped on the plane. Jerry would have still been in the military, have gotten far better medical care and may have added several years to his life. It is very possible I'd not be here alone. My actions began a series of events that have ended up hurting me more than anyone else. Life altered in an unexpected direction. I had choices. I could have made a different one.
If different choices had been made in this current family situation, at least 20 people would have taken different paths. Their lives would very possibly have been radically different. Their choices would have been effected. It is unfortunate that we can't see the effects of choices. Of course, the next generation had choices and in this instance one person's terrible choices have lead to the heartbreak of a dozen.
Joshua said to the Hebrew children "Choose you this day whom you will serve. As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord."
A man chooses to buy a gun for protection. He shoots his neighbor. A child decided, against parental instruction to play ball in the front yard and is hit by a car. Choices made.
Life will not be easy no matter the choices we make. I speak from experience. It will hurt in unbearable ways. Tragedy will happen. People will get sick, die, break, wound. But the choices we all make will affect these things. Consider the choices you make, look down the highway, consider the path you walk or drive. How will your life be affected by the direction you take? How will those you love be affected? Who will feel the repercussions of your choices?
You can't predict everything but you can lessen the impact of your choices if you simply choose this day whom you serve.
Monday, May 9, 2011
The Road to Work
Monday ... again. I truly despise Mondays.
I spent a miserable day yesterday. I won't do that again. Actually, I think last year may have been equally miserable but haven't checked the blog. I went to the cemetery and left some flowers. Another difficult task yesterday.
Mike and I went to church last night and I simply sat and cried nearly the whole service. Fortunately, I belong to a group to which it is not weird so one doesn't have to be embarrassed to show one's emotions. They pray for you. And prayer helps.
This road is filled with pitfalls and potholes. They are unavoidable. Darkness falls regularly. There are lights there in the darkness. Thank you to the friends who came by and offered encouragement. . . ."In the multitude of counselors there is safety." Prov. 11:14
Today I go into the mines where there is little to light the way. I am trying to find some way to make myself less negative about my job. I believe negative energy multiplies and I really don't want to be encompassed by it. I have no choice but to work. So, I have to get my head on straight so I'm not constantly miserable at my work. There are days I pray and ask God not to let anyone come in and not to let the phone ring. A lot of times it works. But I'm not silly. People have problems and questions. I'm having trouble coping with my own and dealing with theirs is very difficult.
Anyway, I have to get moving. I wasn't going to post anything this morning but decided that I needed to at least make up for the crappy one yesterday. At the moment, the sun is shinning, although a bit weakly. I hope the rain holds off.
I spent a miserable day yesterday. I won't do that again. Actually, I think last year may have been equally miserable but haven't checked the blog. I went to the cemetery and left some flowers. Another difficult task yesterday.
Mike and I went to church last night and I simply sat and cried nearly the whole service. Fortunately, I belong to a group to which it is not weird so one doesn't have to be embarrassed to show one's emotions. They pray for you. And prayer helps.
This road is filled with pitfalls and potholes. They are unavoidable. Darkness falls regularly. There are lights there in the darkness. Thank you to the friends who came by and offered encouragement. . . ."In the multitude of counselors there is safety." Prov. 11:14
Today I go into the mines where there is little to light the way. I am trying to find some way to make myself less negative about my job. I believe negative energy multiplies and I really don't want to be encompassed by it. I have no choice but to work. So, I have to get my head on straight so I'm not constantly miserable at my work. There are days I pray and ask God not to let anyone come in and not to let the phone ring. A lot of times it works. But I'm not silly. People have problems and questions. I'm having trouble coping with my own and dealing with theirs is very difficult.
Anyway, I have to get moving. I wasn't going to post anything this morning but decided that I needed to at least make up for the crappy one yesterday. At the moment, the sun is shinning, although a bit weakly. I hope the rain holds off.
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Blue Skies
The afternoon is quite warm but filled with sunshine and blue skies. I've decided to come out and sit on the front porch and post a blog. I've not been posting much. Mainly because life is, at this point, fairly banal. Floods tend to be exciting, even if devastating for the victims. I am blessed to live on higher ground. But it is a bit anticlimactic. It is kind of like watching a ball game.
Today, I'm not going to be false. I'm probably going to post what I feel. I've been fighting all day with myself trying to tell myself that I was silly or stupid or foolish. It hasn't worked. And since I can't just fall apart because I have someone here, I might as well spill my guts on my blog. That way people can simply walk away if they get disgusted or mad.
Mike and I went to church this morning and had lunch together. I was glad he was with me even though it was my treat. It was not a good morning for me. I got no card and no flowers and no calls before I went to church. Mike said happy mother's day while I was getting ready for church. I finally called to see if Sarah and Becca were going. No.
So Mike and I went. But all I could think of through the whole service was that Jerry would have bought me a card or maybe flowers. I would have gotten a hug and probably a kiss. I told myself to stop feeling sorry for myself. But it didn't feel like pity. It felt like . . . being thrown away.
I finally got a text message from David to say Happy mother's day. My aunt and my sister Roselynn called a few minutes ago. I'm sorry, I did get a card from my sister Phyllis a few days ago. And that was nice. But for some reason, none of it was the least special. I felt like an after thought to my children. And the rose the church gave to all the mothers was simply painful.
I wanted to crawl up somewhere, in a hole and disappear because I felt like I already had and I hadn't noticed.
I don't think holidays will ever mean much anymore. Every one that has passed since Jerry died has become meaningless to me. They are pointless waste of time and energy, usually mine. Jerry made mother's day, anniversary and my birthday special. I did the Thanksgiving and Christmas, his birthday and father's day. But now, one day simply runs into another. I'm not special to anyone. There are no hugs, no hands to hold, no pats on the back, no nothing. I get up and go to bed. It isn't fun anymore and there is nothing to look forward to.
I know, depressing. And I've battled the thought all day. But I've decided its fine. This is what I have to learn to deal with, to live with if I am to live at all. I'm not special. Other people surely have it worse. It just seems silly that I didn't see this before. And it makes me angry that I didn't. This was not what I was dreaming of at 12. Or 20. Or 30. There were supposed to be forever days to keep you going. You know, a really wonderful day to hang onto until the next one rolled around and they came around every few months. Only now they don't. None of them are wonderful.
So, maybe for me it would be best to just ignore these days, to step out of the norm and not do the usual thing. Make no contact and expect none. I should have taken off and shut the house and left everyone at home and found some pool somewhere I could sit and read beside with a swim every hour. No one would notice I wasn't here. I wouldn't be expecting anything.
Today, I'm not going to be false. I'm probably going to post what I feel. I've been fighting all day with myself trying to tell myself that I was silly or stupid or foolish. It hasn't worked. And since I can't just fall apart because I have someone here, I might as well spill my guts on my blog. That way people can simply walk away if they get disgusted or mad.
Mike and I went to church this morning and had lunch together. I was glad he was with me even though it was my treat. It was not a good morning for me. I got no card and no flowers and no calls before I went to church. Mike said happy mother's day while I was getting ready for church. I finally called to see if Sarah and Becca were going. No.
So Mike and I went. But all I could think of through the whole service was that Jerry would have bought me a card or maybe flowers. I would have gotten a hug and probably a kiss. I told myself to stop feeling sorry for myself. But it didn't feel like pity. It felt like . . . being thrown away.
I finally got a text message from David to say Happy mother's day. My aunt and my sister Roselynn called a few minutes ago. I'm sorry, I did get a card from my sister Phyllis a few days ago. And that was nice. But for some reason, none of it was the least special. I felt like an after thought to my children. And the rose the church gave to all the mothers was simply painful.
I wanted to crawl up somewhere, in a hole and disappear because I felt like I already had and I hadn't noticed.
I don't think holidays will ever mean much anymore. Every one that has passed since Jerry died has become meaningless to me. They are pointless waste of time and energy, usually mine. Jerry made mother's day, anniversary and my birthday special. I did the Thanksgiving and Christmas, his birthday and father's day. But now, one day simply runs into another. I'm not special to anyone. There are no hugs, no hands to hold, no pats on the back, no nothing. I get up and go to bed. It isn't fun anymore and there is nothing to look forward to.
I know, depressing. And I've battled the thought all day. But I've decided its fine. This is what I have to learn to deal with, to live with if I am to live at all. I'm not special. Other people surely have it worse. It just seems silly that I didn't see this before. And it makes me angry that I didn't. This was not what I was dreaming of at 12. Or 20. Or 30. There were supposed to be forever days to keep you going. You know, a really wonderful day to hang onto until the next one rolled around and they came around every few months. Only now they don't. None of them are wonderful.
So, maybe for me it would be best to just ignore these days, to step out of the norm and not do the usual thing. Make no contact and expect none. I should have taken off and shut the house and left everyone at home and found some pool somewhere I could sit and read beside with a swim every hour. No one would notice I wasn't here. I wouldn't be expecting anything.
Saturday, May 7, 2011
Half Gone
It is Saturday night and I'm exhausted. I got a late start this morning, not arising until 9:30. I paid bills and sat around until nearly 1 when I picked up Mike and we went for a hotdog at Sonic. Then we went to buy groceries for him. We shopped again for tennis shoes or whatever they call them these days. I bought a pair for me. He found a pair but we had gone to Burlington to look at their selection (where I got mine). I was tied by the time we finished and we will have to go back. He went online and signed in at their site to get a coupon sent to him. That will save us a little bit and we can get them next week.
The roads are improving with several of the busiest thoroughfares now open. However, huge ponds of water still stand where they shouldn't. More rain will not help this.
Tomorrow is Mother's day. I do not anticipate any sort of celebration. Mike will go to church with me as usual. Dave is working. Becca says she and Sarah will go with us but we shall see. I don't know what else to say. I did feel sorry for Mike today. He saw some flowers and was looking at them a long time. He said, "If I had any money I'd buy those." Some things are so tragic that words do not covey how you feel.
I brought three pair of shoes this weekend. I probably wasted a good bit on the two pair of street shoes. One is a really lovely pair of low heels and the other are slip-ons with normal heel. The slip-ons I thought I could wear today instead of my usual shoes. I was too cool for sandals. Don't know why. I'm just cold-natured these days. Anyway, my feet were killing me when I walked at all. Sitting they were fine but walking was awful. So, I may have a problem wearing them as I got them to wear to work. I am frustrated because I can't seem to find any shoes anywhere anymore that don't hurt me. I simply can't walk because the shoes have no insole padding in them. And buying a bigger shoe will cause them to slid on my feet. I am wearing a pair of black house slippers now that are about all I can wear.
Ok, I'm tired and going to bed. I hope you all have a happy mother's day tomorrow.
The roads are improving with several of the busiest thoroughfares now open. However, huge ponds of water still stand where they shouldn't. More rain will not help this.
Tomorrow is Mother's day. I do not anticipate any sort of celebration. Mike will go to church with me as usual. Dave is working. Becca says she and Sarah will go with us but we shall see. I don't know what else to say. I did feel sorry for Mike today. He saw some flowers and was looking at them a long time. He said, "If I had any money I'd buy those." Some things are so tragic that words do not covey how you feel.
I brought three pair of shoes this weekend. I probably wasted a good bit on the two pair of street shoes. One is a really lovely pair of low heels and the other are slip-ons with normal heel. The slip-ons I thought I could wear today instead of my usual shoes. I was too cool for sandals. Don't know why. I'm just cold-natured these days. Anyway, my feet were killing me when I walked at all. Sitting they were fine but walking was awful. So, I may have a problem wearing them as I got them to wear to work. I am frustrated because I can't seem to find any shoes anywhere anymore that don't hurt me. I simply can't walk because the shoes have no insole padding in them. And buying a bigger shoe will cause them to slid on my feet. I am wearing a pair of black house slippers now that are about all I can wear.
Ok, I'm tired and going to bed. I hope you all have a happy mother's day tomorrow.
Friday, May 6, 2011
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Downhill
I have been a bit busy. Went back to work yesterday. I do have something to post regarding my day Tuesday but have not had time to do it. I was tired last night and simply sat down and watched my shows on Hulu.
Today it feels like something is waiting to pounce. I hate that feeling. I have no defenses against it except pray for the day to go well and that no harm fall on those I love. If you've read the blog much you know I get these things now and then, with no good effect. I've begun making a habit of noting when I get these feelings. I have to have a reference point and I have to pay attention. If it is just beans I'd like to know. And I'd not mind it at all. We can all have a laugh. But if it is something else, I kind of want to know how to address it.
All right, off to work now. Hope you all have a good day. The weekend is nearing for some of you. Still a day away for me.
Today it feels like something is waiting to pounce. I hate that feeling. I have no defenses against it except pray for the day to go well and that no harm fall on those I love. If you've read the blog much you know I get these things now and then, with no good effect. I've begun making a habit of noting when I get these feelings. I have to have a reference point and I have to pay attention. If it is just beans I'd like to know. And I'd not mind it at all. We can all have a laugh. But if it is something else, I kind of want to know how to address it.
All right, off to work now. Hope you all have a good day. The weekend is nearing for some of you. Still a day away for me.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Cheating and God: Study ties willingness to cheat, viewpoint on what God is like - latimes.com
The telling statement in this article is "The take-home message is not whether you believe in God, but what God you believe in."Link
Personally, and I'm sure there will be oppositions to it, I believe in a God of love, peace, integrity, and judgment. He doesn't think I can attain perfection, he simply expects me to try my hardest to attain the highest mark I am capable of. We are capable of far more than we believe. Honest, sincere effort in any endeavor is what counts. Failure is understood but just as I expect my children to get back on the horse, so too does the God of my faith expect me to do so. But knowing to do good and not doing it is sin. Just because a person thinks God loves them is not a licenses to cheat, steal or kill.
My mama always said a person who would steal would also kill. A thief was no better than a murder in the end. For her wrong was wrong was wrong.
Ok, this was interesting but they are simply stating what Christians have said for at least 2000 years. It isn't news except to the ignorant.
A Morning Without Rain
That's a good title for a book!
The rain has stopped. I woke up to cloudy skies and the phone ringing around 9 a.m. Immediately I stepped outside to see that the water has again receded back toward the drain but it is by no means gone. There is just too much water in the system for the drains to handle it quickly. All the water here empties into the Ohio River and it is out of its banks. Any drainage areas are already inundated and can't handle run off from the streets.
This is the major problem of building cities along river banks. Water doesn't soak into streets and drives. They acts as sluices and the water rushes along them to the lowest point. What you get is backed up drains.
About half the sewers in Evansville are over 100 yrs old. They've been doing major replacement for about 5 years but it is time consuming to dig up whole streets and lay new drain and put the streets back. Weinbach, one of the streets I have to come down to get to my house, was completely torn up for three years while they replaced the entire system beneath it. It was the biggest mess and a huge inconvenience. And the money for such projects has to be obtained from .... taxpayers.
We do have fewer problem in my neighborhood. This is the 4th time in 20 years I've seen water like this on my street. But the rain we have had this past few weeks exceeds the 1937 flood levels. Our levee held but the water simply backed up or over flowed in areas where there was no levee and spread out across the region and tri-state area. This is where the borders of Indiana, Illinois and Kentucky converge as well as the Wabash and Ohio Rivers, two major rivers. I suspect just slightly further downriver where the Missouri and Mississippi converge it is in a similar state so there is nowhere for the excess from the Ohio-Wabash to go but across land. Land that is already saturated by lots of rain. It is like pouring water over a full sponge.
I'm going to get dressed and see if I can get out of the area for a short time. I'm feeling house bound today. I want to see if I can escape. May take the camera with me if I do.Although, I suspect everyone is sick of the videos by now. And I look terrible! Must do the hair today.
I think I see a bit of watery sunshine! Oh... I do. Ta Ta For Now!
The rain has stopped. I woke up to cloudy skies and the phone ringing around 9 a.m. Immediately I stepped outside to see that the water has again receded back toward the drain but it is by no means gone. There is just too much water in the system for the drains to handle it quickly. All the water here empties into the Ohio River and it is out of its banks. Any drainage areas are already inundated and can't handle run off from the streets.
This is the major problem of building cities along river banks. Water doesn't soak into streets and drives. They acts as sluices and the water rushes along them to the lowest point. What you get is backed up drains.
About half the sewers in Evansville are over 100 yrs old. They've been doing major replacement for about 5 years but it is time consuming to dig up whole streets and lay new drain and put the streets back. Weinbach, one of the streets I have to come down to get to my house, was completely torn up for three years while they replaced the entire system beneath it. It was the biggest mess and a huge inconvenience. And the money for such projects has to be obtained from .... taxpayers.
We do have fewer problem in my neighborhood. This is the 4th time in 20 years I've seen water like this on my street. But the rain we have had this past few weeks exceeds the 1937 flood levels. Our levee held but the water simply backed up or over flowed in areas where there was no levee and spread out across the region and tri-state area. This is where the borders of Indiana, Illinois and Kentucky converge as well as the Wabash and Ohio Rivers, two major rivers. I suspect just slightly further downriver where the Missouri and Mississippi converge it is in a similar state so there is nowhere for the excess from the Ohio-Wabash to go but across land. Land that is already saturated by lots of rain. It is like pouring water over a full sponge.
I'm going to get dressed and see if I can get out of the area for a short time. I'm feeling house bound today. I want to see if I can escape. May take the camera with me if I do.Although, I suspect everyone is sick of the videos by now. And I look terrible! Must do the hair today.
I think I see a bit of watery sunshine! Oh... I do. Ta Ta For Now!
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Ariel View of Flooding
If you want to take a bird's eye view of our situation, here it is. You will see the are where Mike and I filmed today. Watch for the circular track or the twin bridges. That is where we crossed the river and filmed. This is truly shocking.
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