Another Year Older

 Well, I am twenty-one days into October. My birthday is next week, on the 28th. I'll be 69 years old but feel a lot older this month. I've been in pain the whole month, all over, particularly in my hands. As a result, today I am using voice recognition on my computer to type. 

The program has come a long way since they first came out with a Windows speech recognition program. I've used that off and on for several years on my computers, but it wasn't really perfect as far as grammar and structure. The new models, which are probably based on AI, have improved significantly . 

I saw the endocrinologist today. Jesus. We agreed I should take a weight-loss shot, but not Ozempic. He gave me a name. But I don't remember what it was. His reasoning was that the pill he was going to give me would raise my blood pressure and therefore was a risk. Whereas the weight loss shot is better for my heart. Well, I can't argue with that. So we opted for the shot. The only problem is we have to find out if the insurance will pay for it..

No matter what happens, it is what it is. I will do whatever I have to do. I'm not keen on the shot because I know that losing weight is going to be disastrous at my age. As far as my looks are concerned, I get a lot of compliments about how I don't look my age. I guess in six months that will change, but if I feel better with less weight, then maybe I won't care.

Mike seems to be doing OK. He's researching the brain disease. I could not do that. I was so traumatized by the diagnosis that I kind of went into shock and could not bear to think about it. He has kind of just stepped in there and tried to discover what he can do to help himself. There's not much, and we both know that. He can't fly, and he may not be able to have surgery. Because any of those things can cause a stroke. 

Stroke is the biggest problem with Moya Moya. The lack of blood flow to the brain causes other problems. Some we've experienced as he grew up, and we didn't even know what was causing it. But other issues exist. And I know it must be frightening for him, because I'm terrified. However, it shows great courage that he can actually go out there and research the disease. If you are a person who prays., pray for Mike. And pray for his mom.

So What List

 Finally, the spare room is cleaned up. The bed is set up with a coverlet on it. No sheets because why should I? No one is sleeping in there now, but I have it if I need it. I put everything away, but not everything I put away will stay. I have to sort the drawers and bins. The 20 inch high frame gives me enough area to store four fairly large bins. I plan on getting those soon and sorting the mess of crochet thread and projects I need to finish. 

I also have the sewing machine cleared so I can get to work on stuff that needs doing. I have several items I had to stop midway when people started dropping in like flies to a farm. It's OK, but I hate leaving things like that. 

I've been working on getting my computer area sorted as well. The heater in the den is not working properly, so I must buy a new one or get this repaired. However, I've had to get it repaired twice now, and either they're not doing a good job, or it's just time to chuck it. I hate throwing away items that can be repaired, but those stove guys are ridiculously expensive. 

Since the end of July, I've gained better energy from running so much, but I still need to do more. It's ridiculous that I get worn down so fast. Phyllis went back to work yesterday, but when she got off, her feet were so swollen that it looked painful. This morning she told me they hurt all night. When I took her to work this morning, I noticed her feet were not swollen. 

Mike is doing OK, I think. Since we have no doctors here that know anything about Moya Moya, I don't know. He seems to be tired all the time, but he doesn't live with me so he may sit up all night. We have to get his blood pressure stable. He has found out he is likely allergic to gluten. Not sure why it is affecting him now, but he's eliminated several items to try to get the cramping in his stomach under control. 

Does anyone else find themselves just not caring if things get done?  I mean, like things that must be done and you kind of look at it and think, "What's the use?"

I have. A lot. Perhaps many tasks overwhelm me, and I cannot complete them. I can't hire them done. I can't do them, but I can't nor do them! I just don't care. 

That's where we end this. I'm surprised I've been able to write a lot these days. Things have just been very weird, and even writing is on the "so what" list. 

A Slew of News but Nothing New

 I should be in bed. It's nearly midnight and here I sit. No, I don't know why. It's almost as if after 9 p.m. I wake up. I'm tired all the time but there seems to be a window when I actually want to sleep. This is not it. 

There is something else, though. I'm troubled in my spirit. So many things have happened in the last two months. August and September were nightmare months, and September isn't even over yet. 

Unlike all the YouTube and TikTok prophets, I'm not predicting the end of the world. I think there will be a shaking of the planet. We're entering a dangerous phase, when anything can happen and most likely will occur. There's enough end-time prophets without me joining the que. Make no mistake, the Bible is very clear on this. 

Matthew 24:36 Amp, "But of that [exact] day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, nor the Son [in His humanity], but the Father alone." 

So, it doesn't matter what they dream. God does not reveal war plans to anyone. 

This may seem like it belongs on the Rendered Praise Blog but I don't have a special topic. It's just me sitting here, needing to go to bed. 

I'm in a lot of pain sitting these days. The "sit bones" are extremely painful. Walking hurts too. I'm trying to get in to get a shot but I'm not looking forward to that. My hands are giving me a lot of trouble, so if you see more errors, and Mike doesn't catch them in editing,you know why. It's mostly the right hand. Driving has been difficult, particularly trying to turn corners. The rotation of the wrist is stiff and swollen. Hurts like a devil.

My sister is improving, but I don't know the long-term prognosis. She has kept her foot but I'm not sure how things will progress. I don't think the foot doctor thinks this is just going away. He indicated to me that a second bone, next to the one that came out, will work it's way out as well. So.... 

Mike is doing OK. We're having trouble getting his BP down to reasonable levels, and that's scary. He could have another stroke. Mike has a brain disease called Moya Moya. No one here knows anything about it and we know of no treatment. I don't know where the nearest doctor for this is even located. 

I was overwhelmed by seriously ill people, and that prevented me from researching. They're getting better, but now I'm exhausted and running on fumes. My body is striking back with inflammation and an inability to sleep when I got to bed. My brain will not shut down without a concerted effort on my part. I have to recite a kind of mantra. It works, but it's frustrating. 

For now, I'll close this post. If you are familiar with Moya Moya, please comment or shot me an email. We'd like to find people who are familiar with it. Even it is just to get some idea of what we're up against. I will research eventually, but I'm still in shock over the whole thing. You don't always feel better when you know something. 

Answers on a Cup

 For over two decades, I've lived in almost constant pain. Real, I can't move pain for over 20 yrs. It went from bad to worse. And some days, I tell God how very tired of it I am. I just want it to stop.

 It doesn't, and neither do I. 

I enjoy being here, but I hate being here on days when so much fog clouds my brain that I can't think, write, or wash dishes. Days when I can't hold my hairbrush, walk without feeling like there's gravel in my feet, bend my knees, or simply sit in a chair on pelvic bones that feel like they've been hammered. And then there's the nerve damage in my arm and the carpal tunnel in both hands. 

On those days, I'm not happy. I'm not mildly annoyed either. No. I'm so angry I could punch walls or scream. One would hurt me and the other would get me arrested.  I also want that annoying person to experience what I'm feeling so I can give them the same treatment I'm getting. 

So, I'm furious on those days and avoid contact with as many as I can, even my family. Being nice is the most difficult thing in the world on those days when pain is using a stone to pound me into the ground. 

Add all that to my family that experienced their own pain. For example, Mike had a kidney stone and then a stroke. Phyllis has her foot in a boot from a near amputation, and David was laid off (he got another job). All that happened in the last 60 days. 

We all got problems, right? 

But today, the pain is less. The sun is shining. And for the moment, the world has not intruded on my psyche. So, for today, as the cup says, I'll just be happy and hope tomorrow is the same. 

What am I saying! I hope the next two hours are the same! 

May your day be pain free. However, I am available to listen if you wish to rant, cry, or whine. Because we should never walk away from someone else's pain.  

 

Degenerates Bloated on Blood

 Nothing much going on this week but reading. I devoured a couple of books in a day. I think my list is to the side of the blog. 

The newest favorite author is Estelle Ryan. Amazing story and I love the characters. I'm on the second of a series with an autistic main character, really well done. 

Mike is doing OK. My sister is still getting antibiotic infusions. Her infection is better, but not cleared up yet. 

Everyone knows the news of Charlie Kirk's murder, I am sure. I was just knocked off my feet by this. I didn't listen to a lot of his stuff, but I knew who he was and had seen many of his interviews. This is such an awful thing. The man hurt no one. He did nothing but voice his opinions and encourage young people to think more and investigate what they believed based on fact. This is the most heinous crime I can imagine. And the world of his two small children is destroyed. A young wife is now grieving, and who likely never dreamed anyone would be such a monster.  

And it's getting worse. If you're a Christian, you're a target. If you're of any other religion, you've nothing to worry about. Your opinion can't differ from the warped left. And they are warped. Otherwise, why kill people of different beliefs and opinions?

I'm so disgusted with my nation: the people and the leaders. This country was once a compassionate and caring nation. It was a nation of brave men and women who fought to keep the rights of every citizen. Now.... We're less than animals. Degenerates bloated on blood. Destroy anyone who dares to express a thought that we are uncomfortable with. 

I am still upset about this. I'll come back later with less depression.