A Slew of News but Nothing New

 I should be in bed. It's nearly midnight and here I sit. No, I don't know why. It's almost as if after 9 p.m. I wake up. I'm tired all the time but there seems to be a window when I actually want to sleep. This is not it. 

There is something else, though. I'm troubled in my spirit. So many things have happened in the last two months. August and September were nightmare months, and September isn't even over yet. 

Unlike all the YouTube and TikTok prophets, I'm not predicting the end of the world. I think there will be a shaking of the planet. We're entering a dangerous phase, when anything can happen and most likely will occur. There's enough end-time prophets without me joining the que. Make no mistake, the Bible is very clear on this. 

Matthew 24:36 Amp, "But of that [exact] day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, nor the Son [in His humanity], but the Father alone." 

So, it doesn't matter what they dream. God does not reveal war plans to anyone. 

This may seem like it belongs on the Rendered Praise Blog but I don't have a special topic. It's just me sitting here, needing to go to bed. 

I'm in a lot of pain sitting these days. The "sit bones" are extremely painful. Walking hurts too. I'm trying to get in to get a shot but I'm not looking forward to that. My hands are giving me a lot of trouble, so if you see more errors, and Mike doesn't catch them in editing,you know why. It's mostly the right hand. Driving has been difficult, particularly trying to turn corners. The rotation of the wrist is stiff and swollen. Hurts like a devil.

My sister is improving, but I don't know the long-term prognosis. She has kept her foot but I'm not sure how things will progress. I don't think the foot doctor thinks this is just going away. He indicated to me that a second bone, next to the one that came out, will work it's way out as well. So.... 

Mike is doing OK. We're having trouble getting his BP down to reasonable levels, and that's scary. He could have another stroke. Mike has a brain disease called Moya Moya. No one here knows anything about it and we know of no treatment. I don't know where the nearest doctor for this is even located. 

I was overwhelmed by seriously ill people, and that prevented me from researching. They're getting better, but now I'm exhausted and running on fumes. My body is striking back with inflammation and an inability to sleep when I got to bed. My brain will not shut down without a concerted effort on my part. I have to recite a kind of mantra. It works, but it's frustrating. 

For now, I'll close this post. If you are familiar with Moya Moya, please comment or shot me an email. We'd like to find people who are familiar with it. Even it is just to get some idea of what we're up against. I will research eventually, but I'm still in shock over the whole thing. You don't always feel better when you know something. 

Adventures on the Ledge

My life on this ledge is crazy right now. Dark and stormy is an apt description. 

Mike had a kidney stone and then a stroke at the end of July. He was in hospital for a week, and I took care of him for two weeks at my house. While he was there, I hired a cleaner and helped her clean out his apartment. It took two days, and I could hardly walk after it was done. I had the carpet cleaned and got him back home in the third week. I spent the first night at the hospital and every day there. 

Then, my sister called and said they wanted to amputate her foot and she had to go to the hospital immediately. They did surgery the next day to clean out the foot and remove a bone that was coming out. Then, a week later, she had a second surgery to clean out the foot again, and try to save it. They sent her home the next day. I was there every day. She can't get around unassisted and has to go daily to the infusion center at Gateway for an infusion of antibiotics. Since she can't drive, Mike and I take her. 

So, I'm about as exhausted as it gets. At the moment, I can't get more than about six hours of sleep. I don't know when or what I'm eating. The RA is beginning not to like the way I'm treating my body. I have pain in my hips and legs and have trouble getting up and down and walking. I haven't done the laundry at my house for over a week. Also, I haven't vacuumed, swept, or mopped the floors in oh, maybe a month. I have kept the dishes washed, the cat box cleaned out (they're not happy with me), and the cats fed.  

For a couple of days, I had trouble driving because I was short on sleep. Never drive with only three hrs sleep. Not good. I've had a couple of close calls. And I couldn't remember where I was going for a moment.

And David is now ill with something. Stomach problems for the last two days, and he may have a fever. 

Life is an adventure! I love it! There's always something exciting to see, something new to learn. I don't always like either; but there's nothing like it anywhere else.

If you have a group of folks you can rely on, count your blessings. Give them all a hug. Tell them how much you appreciate them. I'm sitting here alone on the ledge. There are no neighbors here. But you know what? God knows where I am, so I'm good. I prayed for him to be my strength this morning on my way over to my sister's house. I was so tired, and my hands hurt. When I got there, my phone gave me today's scripture: Isaiah 40:31. I reckon that'll do. 

New Update on What's Happening In My World

I've had two people in the hospital. My son Mike was in for a week after a stroke. Then, a few days after he came home, my sister went into the hospital with a severely infected foot. They've saved it, but we don't know for how long. She's a bad diabetic and had a hole in her foot where a bone was working its way out. They took out the bone and the one next to it, and according to the doctor, will work its way out as well. Tomorrow they will go back in to check the foot and see how well its healing and if they have the infection under control. 

This week, Mike and I put his apartment back in order after I had it cleaned while he was in the hospital. He is going home to his place tomorrow. The doctors said he has to be monitored yearly for problems in his brain with blood flow and veins. 

I'm exhausted, y'all, tireder than I've ever been. And I'm better than I was a week ago. I thought one day I was just going to pass out because I had dizzy spells for a couple of days. My driving was horrible,and twice I had a couple of near misses. I couldn't stop because there was no help. No friends, no family. I've never lived in a place where there was no one to call for help and comfort. 

There are a couple of other issues that we're concerned about that I won't share. We've decided how to handle these, but it's still depressing. We've reached the end of our strength and tolerance. 

One thing I've learned during all of this, you find out who you can turn to in troubles. I've been praying about an issue for months now, and this weekend, the answer brazenly presented itself. It isn't what I wanted, but helped me make the decision. 

Don't become reliant on people or institutions. They'll never be there when you need them. I don't care what rewards you're promised. Only God never fails. He always answers. His schedule is never too full. 

The Atkins Diet

For those who've been wondering, here is a link to The Atkins Diet and the foods that can be consumed in the first two weeks. It is a lot of food but unfortunately, spicy foods or greasy foods give me problems. And a large number of these I simply can't stand the taste of.

However, if you read the information on the why of Phase 1 it makes sense. And since my body can't process carbs well, the diet makes perfect sense to me. It uses fat reserves for food. In diabetes, being overweight is deadly and actually makes the disease worse. A diet that would force the body to use up excess fat would be actually a healthy alternative for me. I still get carbs but they have to be restricted.

Let me tell you, I'm having a problem with it. Not for the reasons you would think. I'm feeling depressed because I don't want to do it. I'm stressed because I really do hate meat in most forms. I eat it in small quantities. I've never been a huge eater. Oh certain things I could eat a lot of when I was younger. But that was not all the time. I weighed 130 when I came to Evansville. I was in great shape and worked out every day. As Jerry used to say, "I was stack like a brick cafe." All my sand was where it was designed to be. The problems began when I started college, stopped cooking healthy meals and stopped exercising. I began to gain weight, a little at a time. In 20 years I've gone up three dress sizes.

I have consumed more carbs than is probably healthy for me given my disease. I like high carb foods. I love fruit. I love bread. I love root vegetables, peas, corn, and others. A big cluprit also seems to be processed foods as opposed to raw or cooked from fresh. But bread and root vegetables will always be tabu for me. And that's hard for me to deal with right now.

On top of that, I'm feeling sick. Since there are side effects to starting it, that may be my problem. But, I wasn't feeling well before this so, not sure.

The site above is full of information that explains it all. It is difficult but probably not unhealthy in its full range. I'm in what is called induction and lasts only a short time... which stretches to infinity when you are doing it. Based on what I've read, it is designed to force your body to burn fat by reducing carbs. They aren't totally eliminated, just restricted. And for the rest of my life, if I'm going to avoid the disasters of diabetes (keep my legs, eyes, kidneys, and heart) I have to limit carbs and reduce the over production of insulin. Fat is the only thing that does that.

I remember when I had my glucose tolerance test in 2002. I had to fast. When I came out Jerry ask me what I wanted to eat. We were both surprised when I said, "Meat." That's all I said. We went to get chicken dinners. In light of this diet, it makes perfect sense. My body told me what I needed to address the sugar overload... protein. And I felt better immediately after eating it. Although, fried chicken doesn't seem like a good choice if you know how much sugar they fed me anything was an improvement.

I have a choice here. It is what it is. I can't fix it. I can elect to continue on as I have been but if I can lick it and do this, I have a shot of several things improving. I will weigh less ( I have a slew of pretty clothes packed up). I will probably have a decrease in BP. I will have lower insulin which means I may have less pain. Insulin causes inflammation. RA is inflammation. No guarantees but fingers crossed. I certainly can't feel worse than I feel right now.