The journey of a widowed Southern lady stranded in the Mid-west surviving the
perils and pearls of grief, adult children, grandchildren, writing, retirement, and assorted crises.
Saturday, November 12, 2011
Up & At 'Em
Friday, November 11, 2011
Funky Friday
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Busy Bee
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Monday, November 7, 2011
From The Over 40 Crowd
When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were. When they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning.... Uphill....Barefoot... BOTH ways...yadda, yadda, yadda
And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on my kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!
But now that I'm over the ripe old age of forty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia! And I hate to say it, but you kids today, you don't know how good you've got it!
1) I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have the Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!!
2) There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter - with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox, and it would take like a week to get there! Stamps were 10 cents!
3) Child Protective Services didn't care if our parents beat us. As a matter of fact, the parents of all my friends also had permission to kick our ass! Nowhere was safe!
4) There were no MP3's or Napsters or iTunes! If you wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the record store and shoplift it yourself!
5) Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio, and the DJ would usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up! There were no CD players! We had tape decks in our car. We'd play our favorite tape and "eject" it when finished, and then the tape would come undone rendering it useless. Cause, hey, that's how we rolled, Baby! Dig?
6) We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called, they got a busy signal, that's it!
7) There weren't any freakin' cell phones either. If you left the house, you just didn't make a damn call or receive one. You actually had to be out of touch with your "friends". OH MY GOSH !!! Think of the horror... not being in touch with someone 24/7!!! And then there's TEXTING. Yeah, right. Please! You kids have no idea how annoying you are.
8) And we didn't have fancy Caller ID either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your parents, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, the collection agent.... you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!
9) We didn't have any fancy PlayStation or Xbox video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like 'Space Invaders' and 'Asteroids'... Your screen guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination!!! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen.. Forever! And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!
10) You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel!!! NO REMOTES!!! Oh, no, what's the world coming to?!?!
11) There was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I'm saying? We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little rat-bastards!
12) And we didn't have microwaves. If we wanted to heat something up, we had to use the stove! Imagine that!
13) And our parents told us to stay outside and play... all day long. Oh, no, no electronics to soothe and comfort. And if you came back inside... you were doing chores!
14) And car seats - oh, please! Mom threw you in the back seat and you hung on. If you were lucky, you got the "safety arm" across the chest at the last moment if she had to stop suddenly, and if your head hit the dashboard, well that was your fault for calling "shot gun" in the first place!
See! That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled rotten! You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1970 or any time before!
Regards,
The Over 40 Crowd
Saturday, November 5, 2011
True Story
She said, "No it was a Frenchman, the Marquis de Sade."
She mentioned that the bra was another fashion item invented by men. She said, "Titzling."
I said, "He's German."
I also suggested the heels may have originated with Louis 14, he of the red heels.
She said, "That's one sick bunch."
I asked if she had seen these reports of men now wearing high heels. She said, "Lord yes, and carrying purses."
I said, "God, give me a real man wearing cowboy boots, tight jeans, and a hat."
She said, "There are some men saying the same thing."
To Much Thinking
Friday, November 4, 2011
And Friday Rolled In
for sun! Right.
I have a headache this morning, only a slight one. I didn't sleep well
last night either. I had a bad moment or two. I went to the cemetery
on my way home from work. Let me just say that cemeteries are not
cheerful places on a good day. On a cold, rainy, grey day they're even
worse. I started feeling a bit down around three o'clock. On an
average day my co-workers don't bug me a lot, because I don't let
them. But yesterday, some of them just got on my nerves and it was
silly things that I'd usually ignore.
Suffice it to say, I finished the day tired and depressed. So, hey!
Why not stop by and visit the dead! Good idea. Not.
Look, I've had a terrific two weeks of no pain, or nearly no pain.
I've been able to think and write. All the stuff going on at the
moment has got me a bit frazzled and I'm thinking that is the problem.
Forget that. I'm lying. To myself. Sleep hasn't been as good this
week. I'm not used to having people in the house and even though
they're no trouble at all obviously, house guest always change the
dynamics of your day. Still, I can deal with that. No, what I think is
happening is November. Thanksgiving is coming. Christmas is coming.
New Year is coming and January 29 is coming. NaNoWriMo is a busy time
for me and keeps me occupied but at the same time, I'm slammed with
this absence, this hole in the holiday, every blasted year.
You've all tolerated a lot over the last x number of years. I'll be
very honest here. There is this woman in my head. I don't really know
her but I see her as clearly as if she were in front of me. If I
thought about it I could probably describe what she's wearing.
Seriously. She appeared the night Jerry died. She stands with hands on
either side of her head, covering her ears, her eyes squeezed shut and
she is screaming. Some days, when it was truly bad, she came out.
These days I try really hard to ignore her. She doesn't stop. I don't
know how to make her.
I know. Can't be good. But there you go.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
The Green Thing
In the line at the store, the cashier told an older woman that she
should bring her own grocery bags because plastic bags weren't good
for the environment.
The woman apologized to him and explained, "We didn't have the green
thing back in my day."
The clerk responded, "That's our problem today. Your generation did
not care enough to save our environment."
He was right -- our generation didn't have the green thing in its day.
Back then, we returned milk bottles, soda bottles and beer bottles to
the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and
sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and
over. So they really were recycled.
But we didn't have the green thing back in our day.
We walked up stairs, because we didn't have an escalator in every
store and office building. We walked to the grocery store and didn't
climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time we had to go two
blocks.
But she was right. We didn't have the green thing in our day.
Back then, we washed the baby's diapers because we didn't have the
throw-away kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy gobbling
machine burning up 220 volts -- wind and solar power really did dry
the clothes. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or
sisters, not always brand-new clothing. But that old lady is right; we
didn't have the green thing back in our day.
Back then, we had one TV, or radio, in the house -- not a TV in every
room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief
(remember them?), not a screen the size of the state of Montana.
In the kitchen, we blended and stirred by hand because we didn't have
electric machines to do everything for us.
When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used a wadded
up old newspaper to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap.
Back then, we didn't fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut
the lawn. We used a push mower that ran on human power. We exercised
by working so we didn't need to go to a health club to run on
treadmills that operate on electricity.
But she's right; we didn't have the green thing back then.
We drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup
or a plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water.
We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we
replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the
whole razor just because the blade got dull.
But we didn't have the green thing back then.
Back then, people took the streetcar or a bus and kids rode their
bikes to school or walked instead of turning their moms into a 24-hour
taxi service.
We had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets
to power a dozen appliances. And we didn't need a computerized gadget
to receive a signal beamed from satellites 2,000 miles out in space in
order to find the nearest pizza joint.
But isn't it sad the current generation laments how wasteful we old
folks were just because we didn't have the green thing back then?
Please forward this on to another selfish old person who needs a
lesson in conservation from a smarta** young person.
The Green Thing
Oh What a Week
been so busy. I do NOT want to rehash it.
My sister had surgery on Monday and she's been discharged today. She
seems to be doing well but of course now comes recovery time.
Nano, of course started on Monday. I've been trying to keep up with
the regional board and a Facebook group page for the region. It is a
bit hectic but I'm beginning to get a handle on it. I'm answering post
and emails and answering questions for that. I also am writing my own
novel. I'm current in my word count as of last night. Tonight, I'll
have to do my 1666 to stay current. But I'm not giving myself any
grief over this. I'll do what I can and that's it.
I have a write-in to host tomorrow night at Panera. I have a write-in
to host Saturday afternoon at Abbey Road Coffee Emporium. My region is
climbing in numbers. Two weeks ago I think it was about 340-35, have
to check my blogs. Today, it is at 389 people registered with my
region. That's wild. Of course, I'll never see all of them but the 50
newbies could pop up at a write-in. That'd be a shocker for me! Panera
might be able to handled it and Abbey Road says they can but I dunno!
Still do not have tremendous amounts of pain. I've been saying the a
couple of days the weather was going to change and it did. The hip and
right lower back at my hip has hurt the last two days and it stormed
last night. The hip felt as if I was begin hit with a sledge hammer.
But neck and shoulder have been just fine. Thank you, God! All over
pain levels are dramatically down. I find myself getting afraid at
every twinge. I've felt so great, so clear headed that I'm terrified
it will go away.
Finally, the lines that were expected for applications dissipated by
10:00 a.m. and now it is a trickle. I'm glad. I can get my own work
done! It was very orderly and no problems but some folks had sat out
there all night! Crazy. Doesn't make the wait any shorter. They feel
like they'll get on faster but there are other things that affect how
fast we process them. So a day won't make a considerable difference.
My friend Loraine is having surgery today. Keep her in your prayers.
She was quite upbeat about it but obviously when you're cut open it is
serious. This is a reconstruction surgery after a colonectomy. Not
sure that's a word but it is what it is. She's been doing very well
since the first surgery and now just wants it all done so she can move
on to other things that are more fun.
Everyone have a good day. It is rainy and gloomy here but the red
leaves across the street are quite cheerful!
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Hitting the Pavement
I went to the store and picked up something for Becca to decorate with and was delivering it to her house yesterday before I went to lunch and to do my shopping. She was at the playground with Sarah and that's where we headed.
The sidewalks there have steps at odd places but they aren't marked and tend to blend with the rest of the walkway. She's fallen and I've tripped several times. Yesterday, I did a pancake.
My right foot hit the step and I fell like a falling tree. Straight down on my stomach and chest. I had the forethought, amazing what happens in your mind in split seconds, to arch my back and tilt my head back and use my hands to break my fall, barely. My nose was inches from the sidewalk when it was over. And I couldn't get up a minute.
I rolled over and struggled to a sitting position. There is a fence where I fell. It was difficult because everything was screaming in pain. Mike tried to help me up but I had to just sit for a bit. Knees smacked the ground first and then I fell forward bringing my hands up to brace me. I felt it everywhere. I had a scratch on my knee and my right palm, in the fleshy part near the wrist was scraped. My right wrist was hurting and I know I'd heard something pop. Left hand had a minor abrasion.
Mike looked at my knee and said, 'Well Mom, at least you didn't tear you panty hose!"
{Mom shakes head}
He had yelled at Becca almost immediately. I really couldn't get up! It was crazy but everything was just aching. We went to her apartment where I washed the scrapes and put liquid bandage on them. I iced the wrist. It was achy but I didn't think it was broken. A vein popped up and turned blue but the ice helped. Still, it was stiffening nicely and I decided I should have it x-rayed to be sure. And if I had to file a claim it would be on record.
So, x-ray showed no beaks.l They sent me home. Home, I went. Dropped Mike off at his house and called it a day.
Nothing accomplished.
Today, my usual pain is gone but I'm stiff all over.
How shower in five.
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Into the Light?
Friday, October 28, 2011
FRIDAY! The Mad Rush to the Weekend
You've already been apprised of my week. But thankfully, joyfully, splendidly, I've felt wonderful this week compared to how I've felt all year! Virtually NO pain!
Must give God the Praise. Sunday night, Bro Ashcraft visited our church again and I asked him to pray for me again. Remember my feet and how badly they were hurting all the time? After the Sunday night he came over and told me he was going to pray for my feet, I've had almost no pain in my feet. I have not been waking up crippled before I get out of bed. So Sunday I just went up when they asked if anyone wanted prayer. I didn't say what for. And he did.
I had a lot of neck pain that day. By Monday night I have virtually none. I've been sleeping better for a few weeks now but still had pain issues. This week I have one spot that has bothered me and it was so mild I took Tylenol for it!
So, Praise the Lord for that! Will it come back, who knows. I'll take every blessing I get gladly.
I had the Writer's meeting last night. Loraine brought a small cake and she and I and Doug had birthday cake. The others couldn't make it. I talked so much I finally asked someone else to talk because I was babbling. They laughed at me and did! LOL
Tonight, Meet & Greet. In fact, my hair is in a towel now and I have to go get it dry and put on my sweater.
I've had virtual roses in the Smoking Pen and a poem from Dragon (screen name don't know his real name but a nice fellow to write with). I've had a Cracker Barrel gift card from Roselynn, a Starbucks gift card and a birthday cake from Loraine and today my friend Carolyn at work gave me a new beaded watchband. It is really pretty. She always gets me something every year. Must remember her this year! Her birthday is the end of December and she is usually not at work and I don't see her. So a nicer day than I had envisioned. In fact, in the Pen tonight they appear to be gearing up for a birthday party! At least that is what I hear.
So, off for now. I'll let you know how it turns out.
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Why?
First, I'm not surprised by the location. LaLa Land is centered in this area. People there do weird thing, well, weirder than the rest of us it seems. If you're from LaLa Land and find this offensive, you proved my point. If you can't laugh at yourself, you're crazy.
Second, and the title of this post, WHY? Why would you do such and experiment if you believe the stories of alien abduction? Did they pick only unbelievers? If so, does that corrupt the data because only unbelievers were used? And if only believer were used, can I trust that the data is not tainted by their FAITH? Takes faith to believe in something you can't actually prove.
If they used both believers and non-believers, what does that mean? Does it mean that they actually were abducted or that it was all in their heads. And if you have an OBE, does it mean you weren't abducted? I mean, we have a soul in my belief system. So, if you're soul leaves your body and goes "somewhere else" without your permission, isn't that an abduction?
I think it leaves far more questions that it answers. The biggest one. WHY!
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Mid-Week Mayhem, Madness & Meltdown
We had a couple of computer issues. Who ya gonna call? Fortunately, it was the nut behind the wheel in one case and in the other a power supply issue that can't be fixed by moi. Call my backup, Jay, supertech! He took the old computer away for repair and hooked up our roaming laptop that we use for briefings for Stacey to use.
Then, I had the weekend with Sarah. Did I take Thursday and Friday off last week? I think I did. I don't remember! I had the P & P meeting on Saturday. Two people showed..... yes I know. But it's fine. They were nice and young and .... intimidated so it was fine. I really am NICE!
Monday rolls around and I'm three days behind. I spend Mon-Tues. catching up and putting out fires in all areas. Today we had move briefing. My day to do the presentation, as it usually is since no one else wants to do it. "But you do a really good job." Yes, I do since I wrote the blasted thing! And my spontaneous jokes are funny... most people laugh. Even the staff laughs. So... it is my one concession to exhibitionism.
After the briefing, which last about two hours, I took the laptop back to Stacey's office and reconnected everything. Then, I went to lunch with Carolyn. Came back to another meeting regarding setting up for the opening of the waiting list. We are opening the waiting list November 3 after three years! We expect ... couple of thousand people to show up. It is only open for ten days. There are 8 of us handling the crowd. There will be NO jokes.
Tomorrow it is software training in the a.m. and HUD training in the p.m. And the piles are growing, folks! Pretty soon you won't be able to find me. OH! Writer's Asylum meeting is tomorrow night!
Friday... God only knows. Friday night, Meet & Greet for local NaNo's. If you're in the area, come on down!
Saturday I hope to goodness I can relax.
Sunday my aunt and uncle will arrive, unless they come Saturday.
Monday my sister, Phyllis, has surgery to remove her gall bladder. She will come home to MY house with my aunt Phillis and uncle Dale... they're wonderful, really. I don't know what I'd do without them.
We are now into November. Tuesday, NaNoWriMo starts and I have to come up with 1666 brilliant, exciting, wondrous words every night for a month. My original goal was to write at night from Mon. to Fri every week, skipping the weekends. That is 2273 words a day for 22 days... I can do that... really, 2273 words is not much for me.... generally. {sigh} I really, really want to do it that way.
I NEED AN IDEA!
Have I mentioned I'm feeling really, really good? So good that I'm terrified it will end.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
A Song & Dance
Got to tell you, my pain levels are so low it is almost astounding. Yes, I'm using the patches and I'm actually going to bed, if not by 10, at least before midnight. That's no mean feat, let me tell you. The Smoking Pen is open and you all know that when that happens, I'm out of pocket for weeks. The website upgrade has caused delays and difficulties on top of that and I'm trying to keep the ML stuff going. Then, Nano starts next Monday.
The closing on the loan is complete and I have to go by the courthouse today and file the paperwork for the loan. At least I thought I did. They just told me I have a year and I should wait at least a couple of months! Now I'll forget it and that will be a problem, too! Doh! I'll put it on my gmail calendar and it will remind me.
Still have no idea what I'm doing for NaNo. I hate going in blind. I've done it a few times but for some reason it feels all wrong this year to do that. I'm concerned that I don't have an idea and won't have one!
Believe it or not, I'm blank now, too!
Friday, October 21, 2011
MIA and Other Stuff
I've been around but with NaNo approaching, my duties as ML, and my pain problems, I've not been in any position to do more than read your blogs, which I do. I don't think I've been leaving comments. After Grammy sent out a probe I figured I better pop in just to insure everyone knows I'm around. Don't you all go deleting me just cause I'm MIA a few days!
I'm doing o.k. Not perfect... pain was pretty horrible from Sunday through Tuesday. I was so sick I really needed to be home but I simply can't afford to miss anymore work. I had a hideous migraine but I didn't really know that was part of the problem. My neck was so bad I was contemplating calling for a cervical block. I took an Imetrex to see if it would help on Tuesday at lunch when I realized I also had a headache. I got sicker but that is what they do to me. Feels like you're dying. No, seriously. I went home after work and got the hottest shower I could stand and lay down on the sofa where I stayed for hours just letting tv shows roll. I was better on Wednesday. Today, I'm relatively well although there is still mild pain in and around my neck and shoulders.
My shoulders hurt. I've had to put one of the patches on my left shoulder for week or so now, right on top of it. I think coupled with my neck problem and a migraine it all served to do me in. I do not know what triggered what but I think the shoulder is triggering the neck which in turn triggers the migraine. Just a guess. As good as I get at the doctor.
My plotting & planning meeting on Saturday is all set. I do not know who will show up. I'd like to see 15 but we'll see. The Meet & Greet is set for October 28 at 6:30 p.m at Panera Bread. I've given a couple of hours. We'll see. Really not sure how this is going to go.
November 1 it the start date, as you all have heard ad nauseum. I'm a bit excited but not overly. I have no ideas and that's a problem this year. I fear with my other problems to go in blank might not be a good thing. So, I'm looking for some kind of plan.
I'm attempting to get to bed at night by 10:30 p.m. I have found that it helps since I'm sleeping better. But I'm constantly tired. I never feel I've had enough sleep. I told a friend at work this week that I was getting worse, not better. I do not, truly do not know how much longer I can function at my job like this. It is taking all I can do to keep up now. It's very depressing. I can't quit and I can hardly do it most days.
Oh, that's enough of that stuff. I've got to get back to the piles of stuff waiting for my attention. I'll let you know how things come out tomorrow.
Friday, October 14, 2011
Senior Citizen's Discount
I dug into my pocket and pulled out some lint and two dimes and something that used to be a Jolly Rancher. Having already handed the kid a five-spot, I started to head back out to the truck to grab some change when the kid with the Elmo hairdo said the hardest thing anyone has ever said to me. He said, "It's OK. I'll just give you the senior citizen discount."
I turned to see who he was talking to and then heard the sound of change hitting the counter in front of me. "Only $4.68," he said cheerfully.
I stood there stupefied. I am 56, not even 60 yet. A mere child! Senior citizen?
I took my burrito and walked out to the truck, wondering what was wrong with Elmo. Was he blind? As I sat in the truck, my blood began to boil. Old? Me? I'll show him, I thought. I opened the door and headed back inside. I strode to the counter, and there he was waiting with a smile.
Before I could say a word, he held up something and jingled it in front of me, like I could be that easily distracted!What am I now? A toddler? "Dude! Can't get too far without your car keys, eh?"
I stared with utter disdain at the keys. I began to rationalize in my mind. "Leaving keys behind hardly makes a man elderly! It could happen to anyone!"
I turned and headed back to the truck. I slipped the key into the ignition, but it wouldn't turn. What now? I checked my keys and tried another. Still nothing.
That's when I noticed the purple beads hanging from my rear view mirror. I had no purple beads hanging from my rear view mirror.
Then, a few other objects came into focus. The car seat in the back seat. Happy Meal toys spread all over the floorboard. A partially eaten doughnut on the dashboard.
Faster than you can say ginkgo biloba, I flew out of the alien vehicle.
Moments later I was speeding out of the parking lot, relieved to finally be leaving this nightmarish stop in my ife. That is when I felt it, deep in the bowels of my stomach: hunger! My stomach growled and churned, and I reached to grab my burrito, only it was nowhere to be found.
I swung the truck around, gathered my courage, and strode back into the restaurant one final time. There Elmo stood, draped in youth and black nail polish. All I could think was, "What is the world coming to?"
All I could say was, "Did I leave my food and drink in here"? At this point I was ready to ask a Boy Scout to help me back to my vehicle and then go straight home and apply for Social Security benefits.
Elmo had no clue. I walked back out to the truck, and suddenly a young lad came up and tugged on my jeans to get my attention. He was holding up a drink and a bag. His mother explained, "I think you left this in my truck by mistake."
I took the food and drink from the little boy and sheepishly apologized.
She offered these kind words: "It's OK. My grandfather does stuff like this all the time."
All of this is to explain how I got a ticket doing 85 in a 40. Yes, I was racing some punk kid in a Toyota Prius. And no, I told the officer, I'm not too old to be driving this fast.
As I walked in the front door, my wife met me halfway down the hall. I handed her a bag of cold food and a $300 speeding ticket. I promptly sat in my rocking chair and covered up my legs with a blankey.
The good news was I had successfully found my way home.
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Day Off... Or Two... Whatever
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Astounding Website
Monday, October 10, 2011
Rank Has Its Privileges
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Drifting Into Saturday
On Thursday night I had a frightening episode where my right pupil dilated to nearly twice the size of the left eye. I could FEEL it! I didn't know that was happening at first. For two weeks I'd have a problem driving with my glasses on. I simply found it very difficult and I didn't know why. I kept having all that pain and my head hurt and well, I won't bore you with a repeat of the blogs. I even asked two people if they ever heard of such a thing. Both said no. Well, Thursday I was reading and notice I couldn't see very good. I could see but it wasn't right some way. After finding I couldn't look at the computer, I held something over each eye and realized my right eye was not as clear as the left and was uncomfortable looking at certain bright objects. I looked in the mirror and gasped.
I was scared to death. I've had a pupil dilation before. About 8 years ago I had double vision about 2 hours in that eye and never did figure out what caused it. Since then, I've had mild dilation once or twice. This was more pronounced. I called my wonderful eye doctor. He actually puts his home phone on his answering machine and his cell! He only asked that you call those in a medical eye emergency. This was for me. He asked me several questions and said he thought it might be a migraine and to call first thing on Friday and they'd get me in right away. I called my aunt and asked them to pray for me and they did. Then, since I could do no more and could not read or use the computer, I went to bed.
Friday morning I was at my doctor's by 9 and was taken in immediately. I had a mild headache then because of the neck and shoulder. Everything else was, of course and thankfully, normal. He said again it was probably a migraine. But he checked thoroughly inside my eye with all kinds of light and lenses. I always joke at my normal exam that I leave his office tired. Emergency exams are only slightly different. I went back to work but that neck and arm still hurt and I figured it was the cause of the headache.
Last night I took the large patch I used on my back and cut it in half and decided to see if that worked as well as a large one. I then took the half and cut that in half and put it my neck. I am pleased to report that my neck is much better this morning. Although sitting on this sofa is definitely part of the problem. I need to get a new living room suite.
So, I began the day a bit better off. I have some things I have to do. I want Mike to come over and help me but he has running he wants to do and I don't. So, not sure it will all get done. I'm going to pay the bills as it is first of the month. I still haven't heard from my bank about the refinance. I'm getting antsy.
I'm trying to organize the meetings for NaNo. Not hard since the Library has someplace reserved every day but Sundays which are bad for me anyway. I think I'm simply going to look for those nights when it is after I get off work and make that the official meets and let the other stand for anyone who wants to get together at other times.
The meet and greet is scheduled at the moment for 10/28, my birthday, 6:30 to 9 at Panera. This is the best for me and the location won't have as many people at night. I'd like to do it somewhere else but there just isn't any place I can "reserve" space for possibly 20 people. The time will allow people to come and go as they like and they'll be tempted to buy food and drink, which helps. The time is also an effort to allow some of the more distant to get there after work if necessary.
O.k., I'm out of here. I have some things to get at Lowe's with the rest of my gift card. I also want to go by Value City and look at a living room suite. And... I need to get Mike to see if he'll help me with that wall. I want it fixed a month ago!
Everyone have a nice weekend. Today it is beautiful outside.
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Past the Hump
Today, my knees don't hurt much and my back and right leg are still good. I suspect that as a result of those improvements my left neck shoulder and hand are down to about a 2 on the 10 scale. You know the one that goes from :) to :O.
The weather is absolutely gorgeous and I'm annoyed I'm locked inside. I really would love to be off tomorrow. I don't want to take off only because I can see me needing the time later for some insane reason.
I've been busy posting dates and locations on the NaNo calendar for my region that show the dates, times and locations the library has reserved rooms for writers. I'm only up to the 15th! Well....I am having to do it on breaks.
I've scheduled the initial meet and greet for October 28th. I have no idea who will show if anyone. I may have to reschedule that as it is also Halloween weekend and Boo at the Zoo is going on and probably other assorted celebrations for the dubious holiday.
It is nearly time to go home now and I'm really anxious to get out of here. I have got to finish Sarah's skirt. I've been sick for over a week and just not able to sit at my machine with the pain in my joints. It is very upsetting with all that stuff piled there waiting for me to create something. I sat in a chair for days, doing nothing but watching television shows. I hate that.
But I am caught up on my shows and even found a couple of new ones.
I've done no writing to speak of, not even the blog. I don't know how I'm going to manage to writer 50,000 words in next month. I'm trying to get my head around it and see if I can actually put together a plan. Planning, these days anyway, seems far beyond me.
I'm very tired this afternoon but then usually after a huge bout with pain I am exhausted for days. I need to sleep and I need to stop getting to bed late. There was a period over a year ago now, where I was going to bed no later than 10:30 and I was actually doing pretty good. I need to get back on track for that. It would probably help me.
All right. I'm heading out in 15 minutes to go home. Not sure I'll be back on today so have a lovely evening. Tomorrow is Friday and supposed to be just as pretty as today. I do like fall in the midwest. About the only season I do like here.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Moanday Passed Me UP
you read this so did Tuesday. I didn't feel great when I got up Monday
but neither was I miserable. The day was blessedly uneventful.
Carolyn was back at work on Monday also, but was so busy we hardly saw
one another. I was glad she was back but I've got myself in a routine
that I am in my chair until I'm hungry and then go to lunch which is
much later than she likes to go. We did go a bit later but not as late
as I would have liked. I like lunch around 1 p.m. What I discovered
during this time was that I work better in the mornings than the
afternoons. So, I may have to start going to lunch alone more often as
my days seem more productive and I don't get as stressed once the work
is out of the way.
I was very depressed most of the weekend. It rained endlessly but I
like rain for the most part. I had no desire to do more than read the
blogs this weekend and I think I left a few comments. I still have the
panorama feature and can just click down the list and read them. I
also worked on Sarah's skirts - there are two, and started a second
baby shawl, this one for my neice, Alicia.
I don't know Alicia very well. I've only seen the child maybe half
dozen times in her life. She's 17 and managed to get pregnant. What
can I say....my brother and Alicia's mother are divorced and have been
a while. They have four children all of who are absolutely wilder than
elephants. I don't know the others at all....well, I've seen the boys
three times at family gatherings. They were well behaved during those
times. but I think on a daily basis they have issues. They've been in
foster care a couple of times. The youngest is probably learning
disabled and has kidney problems. The twins (middle children)are ....
a problem. Alicia, the oldest, is also a problem. My sister was foster
parent for Alicia and the youngest for awhile. She refused the twins
because they tend to act violently at times. Alicia was constantly
sneaking out and going wild. She was finally sent to a group home,
which she promptly ran away from and was placed with my mother... do
not know the moron who thought that was a good idea! Eventually, she
was sent away from there. Only the younger child stayed with my sister
for a short time. To be fair to those children, they had the most
atrocious parents and it is like raising dogs. If they aren't treated
well, loved and nurtured, they become vicious creatures with a desire
to devour everyone they meet. They are all, except Alicia, back with
their mother who is one of two reasons they are messed up. I'm not
being mean... I only speak the facts.
So, I did a shawl for Kayla's baby. I felt that I should at least do
one for Alicia's baby. God knows the kid will need all the help she
can get. It is different in pattern and color from Kayla's but is is
really lovely. I don't know if she will care for it or not. I hate to
think all this beautiful work will be dropped on the floor somewhere
and walked on. I've been tempted to just buy her a nice gift because I
am falling in love with this shawl and don't want to think of it being
discarded. But it seems wrong to do that. I may reconsider and give
this as a gift to someone else and buy her something I'm not
emotionally vested in. I'm still debating. Anyway, I'll post photos
soon of all of it.
I totally forgot this post and now it is Wednesday and busy as the
last two days. I don't mind busy. It goes faster. I'm getting ready to
go to lunch in a bit with Inmate Loraine. We're meeting at Panera
Bread. The salad is good and it is a nice place to meet.
Weather is cool and very cloudy with patches of blue here and there.
Not enough blue for me. Yesterday was beautiful outside and I longed
to be out there.
I'm going to get my house refinanced if I can. I decided this week. It
will lower my payments considerable since the interest rates are so
low. It will lessen some of my worries, in fact, after I talked to the
bank yesterday I felt so much better just considering it. I haven't
got the deal wrapped up yet. I still have to do the application and
they have to approve it. I was having a hard time deciding if I wanted
to do it. I finally decided if this is the right decision the
everything will go through without a hitch.
Heat will be installed tomorrow morning. I went with the cheaper unit
even though I'm a bit leary of it. I just don't want to spend a huge
amount of money right now. I'll purchase a warranty for it and if
anything goes wrong, that will cover it. In fact, I'm going to get a
home owners warranty. My sister had that and when her water heater
went out they replaced it at no charge to her! So, home warranty on
all appliances soon. Most are new but you never can tell what will
happen.
Next... pain levels are nearly around a 2 or 3 on a scale of 10. I'm
wearing that patch they gave me for my knees on my lower right back!
The pain in my leg has radically diminished, although I still get
shooting pains and some cramps. I just take a acetaminophen for it.
I'm using the liquid on my knees because it works as well as the patch
if I do it three or four times a day. It did not work on my back as
well. Not sure why. I've started putting it in my neck the last few
days to see if it helps with that pain. I think it does. So, I've been
getting some much better sleep and can turn over more often.
The bad news...I probably have severe arthritis in all those locations
and they are major joint locations that affect my mobility.
But I'm thankful for any relief at this point that allows me to get some sleep.
I'm going now. Work is rudely screaming my name.
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Nearly There!
Thirty-two years ago today the most exciting thing in my life happened. Michael Courtney Maddox arrived at 5:09 a..m. He weighed in at 7 lb 14 oz and was 21 in. long.
It has been my greatest privilege to have spent my life with Michael. No matter how difficult the journey has been for both of us, Michael has continued to smile through it all. When my life blew apart, Mike was there to hold me up and help me through the long months of gathering up the pieces. He may think he's a failure at many things but his greatest success has been as a son.
My sister is having surgery to remove that stint as we speak. I am out of days so I couldn't take off but my aunt and uncle are at the hospital with her. This is supposed to be a same day surgery so we are expecting her to be released this evening.
Sarah came over last night for a few hours to visit with her Poppy and Uncle Dale.She absolutely adores my aunt and uncle. To clarify, she calls my uncle Dale, Poppy. But she calls my aunt Phillis, Uncle Dale. This is confusing and highly amusing to everyone but she's done this since she was probably two. She got them confused and we've never dared try and correct her. She's corrected me a few times! Uncle Dale (aunt Phillis) would be furious if we did, she loves it. The story behind this is that on a visit Sarah was asked to identify people, I believe around the table. She named them all until we got to my aunt. Then she said, "I don't know what they call her but I call her Uncle Dale." And Uncle Dale is it.
Monday, September 19, 2011
Moan Day, Not So Much
Work was rather uneventful and probably because my boss was out. Lots less running for everyone. Tomorrow I suspect he'll be back and the day won't go as well.
I've spend the evening sewing on a skirt for Sarah. I'm not pleased with it. Must get my act together and do better. It is cute but the waist band is not what I planned and I'm annoyed. I got in a hurry. Still, it will do.
I'm off to bed now for some much needed sleep. The last several nights I don't feel as if I slept well. It felt as if I was just dozing. Does that make sense? Not a deep sleep, but one of those just beneath the surface sleeps that leaving you feeling cheated. Morpheus is a fickle devil.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Omissions
My appointment as pastor coincided with the church's appeal for aid for victims of a hurricane.
Unfortunately, on my first Sunday in the parish, the center page of the church bulletin was accidentally omitted. So members of the congregation read from the bottom of the second page to the top of the last page:
"Welcome to the Rev. Andrew Jensen and his family ... the worst disaster to hit the area in this century. The full extent of the tragedy is not yet known."
Monday, September 12, 2011
A Better End to Moan Day
You know.... that's is such a good pun! Moan Day. The first day of the week and everyone of us gets up moaning and I spend a good portion of the day moaning.
Believe it or not I don't actually like being that person. I kind of get sick of it, as I'm sure do most of those around me or reading me. Too much like my mother, something I have never desired to be. I've realized that I'm not a terribly happy person and probably won't ever be again. No very optimistic of me, I know. But honest. With myself. I have several names for me but since I try not to make a habit of name calling I won't share them. I really don't like who I am now and have been for a long time... say at least 7 years. Life got tough, I got wimpy.
I had Sarah after work tonight. We had a nice time in the back yard. She played in her sandbox and then caught fireflies. As it grew dark she didn't like it anymore. When I was a kid I loved it when it got dark outside. I could stay out for hours. I usually was with siblings or friends but even alone I was never afraid of it. I'm still not too much. I was for a time after Jerry died. Wouldn't sit out there at all. I've gotten better but the bugs have, too.
We came in and she insisted I read the Bible to her. She does that now and it is very odd to me. She's just turned five but for over a year she has asked to have the Bible read to her. Not a children's Bible story book or a child's Bible. The grownup version. Becca says she asks her to read to her, too. I've had two children, 6 siblings, two younger cousins that were like siblings, about a half dozen assorted nieces and nephews. I've read hundreds of books upon request. I once read Treasure Island, the long version, not a kids book, to my cousins (about 5 & 7 at the time & I was 15) and did pirate voices. Took a couple of weeks! Not once in all my life have I ever been asked by a 5 year old to read the Bible to them. It is not their first choice. Nor their last!
So I did. I don't think she cares what part you read to her. I think I could read Numbers and she'd listen!
Sunday, September 11, 2011
A Day in the Weekend
I didn't do much else over the weekend but start two denim skirts for Sarah and play games online. Oh, and I'm over half done with the baby shawl I'm making. I'll have to get photos for you or a video. It's been a bit challenging because I start a row and find myself doing the previous row. It is a row of shells and then the base chain to do the next row of shells. But I forget and just keep doing shells. I'm better now. Not doing that as much but still enough to frustrate me and annoy.
At the moment, I'm doing nothing. I'm tired and I think I'll just get my shower and go to bed. The day did not go as I had hoped and I'm feeling under the weather. Nose stuffy, throat scratchy, headachy. Sarah has been sick all weekend with a cold and Becca was also not well yesterday. So the season has started.
Hope you have had a better one.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Group Calls To Ban Pledge Of Allegiance At Massachusetts Schools, Citing No Educational Value | Fox News
Monday, September 5, 2011
Jilly's DPT: Labor Day
I'm just so tired. I ate too many sweets and starches. But there wasn't much else. I had green beans and some baked beans (they were Bushes Baked beans - I buy the same brand LOL) and a hot dog. I tried some chicken and dumplings but someone had forgotten to season them with black pepper and I didn't see any. Banana pudding was good but that pretty much topped my system. The only low carb on the menu was those green beans. There was a lot of pasta stuff and tons of desert. The church furnished hotdogs, hamburgers, and steak. There is always plenty for everyone so if you're not carb restricted, you're in food heaven. Unfortunately, I wasn't.
I think I wasn't expecting how depressed I was going to get. I don't want to do it again. I thought sure it would be different this time. I have avoided more and more such events for the same reason. They are no longer things I enjoy. Going to family events alone is simply not enjoyable. I do like seeing Sarah have a good time but as soon as she was done we left.
Of course, I did nothing but walk around with Sarah. She played a fishing game and got a prize. She also won the egg toss! The egg she and Libby were using just never broke. Libby is 3 and Sarah is 5 and they tossed that egg like a baseball. It hit the ground and bounced. It was weird. Not a crack.
I doubt I'll do the picnic again. It is far too depressing. I didn't know what to do with myself and there are mostly family members together. I chat with different ones but well, I don't really share a past with anyone there so there isn't much to talk about. It isn't that they aren't courteous but it pretty much socializing with strangers. I don't do it well. And I am not in any condition to play games. It was a bad idea to go because it simply served to remind me I'm a square peg in a room of round holes.
I'm going now. I am going to work on the baby blanket some more. I'm about halfway. So, at the rate I'm going I should be done with it in about two weeks. Then, I'll start on something else.
What a drag this blog is. Back to work tomorrow.
Labor Day Monday
I'm going but I'm probably only going to stay for lunch. Mike will want to be there all day and I may just drop him off and come home and pick him up later. I'm going to call him.
I'm a bit annoyed. I don't get out much as it is. I was looking forward to this. I'd rather have 90 degrees and sun than 63 and clouds. This is more than likely going to set off some joint pain if I get too cool. So, not sure now what I'll do.
It is ten now so I have to decide soon. I don't know if Sarah is going or not either.
I woke up with quite a bit of pain and that has become the norm. I'm not resting well. No, there doesn't seem to be a solution since I have no idea what is causing it. I am going to talk with both doctors about a sleep study. Something is wrong when I sleep.
I'll be back later to post my Labor Day photo. Not sure what it will be. Did more reading on Boomerang. You get to do 10 free advance posts a month and if you want more, you have to subscribe and pay for it. Sooooo, I can use the 10 free. I'm not paying for it. Sorry I wasn't more clear about that. I just discovered it this morning reading on the site. I figured I better read up on all the features. It is a nice one. However, if you use Microsoft outlook, that feature is installed. But you have to go online for it to work. Window Life Mail also allows you to send later and you can use gmail with it, so I'm going to look at it. I simply use gmail online now for everything because it is just easy.
All righty, off to see what I can see. Have a nice holiday if this is your holiday. If not have a great day in the mines.
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Odd Sunday
I called my eye doctor, bless him the best one in the whole world. He gives his cell number and his home number on his answering machine! I felt so bad since it is a holiday calling him but he called me back in under 20 minutes. Listened to me tell him what was happening and told me it should pass off in another 20 but if it did not to call him back. He said if I had any symptoms that persisted I should go immediately to the er. He said he'd been in his office a little while today and could see me if I felt he needed to.
This is not unusual for him. He's wonderful.
It did pass of in about 20 minutes and I was fine. This is the second time I've had this kind of migraine. It terrified me then, too. I get concerned about being in the car when this kind of thing comes on. Last time I drove to his office from work and it was so scary.
After the lights went out I watched a program on Xfinity online.
Tonight I discovered I got Jilly's DPT screwed up a bit. I did Tuesday's on the third, did the third! I think I've mucked it up a bit but I'll get on track. Ran across another tonight for the end of the month. Considering this is my first time doing the DPT I figure I can mess up a bit. I've already got about half of them!
Now, I'm going to use the Boomerang feature for Gmail and send them ahead so I won't have to worry with it. One thing I discovered it it doesn't work in Firefox, although the site says it does. It works in Chrome, which is good because I'm quickly learning to like it for a lot of things. It is so fast!
Hope you all have a great day tomorrow. I'm planning on going to the church picnic with Mike. It is supposed to be sunny and in the 70's and this will be perfect weather to be outside for ball games and volleyball. I am hoping to take Sarah but she's been under the weather today. Her mother says too much cake.
Good night!
The Case of the Delayed Post
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Someone Left the Door Open
I woke this morning and was achy all over but I have this baseball sized spot in my lower back just to the right of my spine. It feels as if said baseball struck me there. I had problems all night with it and getting up and down reminds me it is there.
Other than that I feel fair to middlin'. I was late to work because getting going this morning was a bit difficult. However, I'm here, shoveling and while they aren't watching, taking a break.
I was so tired when I got home last night that I lay down and got a brief nap, about 30 minutes. When I got up I spent the evening finishing Sarah's little dress and then I did some crochet and watch television shows on the computer. The crochet is a baby blanket for my neice's baby. It is due in a few months and I have to really hustle to get it done. I should be done in a couple of weeks if all goes well and I can keep up the current pace. I'll post photos soon.
I have a writer's meeting this week and must find things that I can have as treats. I've decided to simply avoid white foods i.e. potatoes, rice, bread, things that contain processed sugar, and sweets in general. We'll see how I hold up. Certainly won't hurt me. I was worried about limiting my carbs too much but ran across a website with a post from a biochemist who disagreed with someone who said low carb diets were bad for you. When I began to read the posts I got depressed but that entry really gave me some information that was helpful and educational. She rebutted quite well. Here is here response. If this is, in fact, the case, the low carb diets are the only way for the population to stay healthy. It is also probably why Daddy never had heart problems, high blood pressure, or other common problems. He did not eat junk food... except
"As a biochemist, I am going to have to respectfully disagree with some advice you received here. The ketogenic diet is not unhealthy as long as you are not a type one diabetic. In the absence of carbohydrate, research has found that fat is eliminated from the body via fat breakdown byproducts called "ketones," hence the name ketogenic diet.
Fat storage, and arteriosclerosis: Fat cannot be stored, or build up in arteries, in the absence of carbs, therefore a high fat diet is only harmful when and ONLY when carbs are present. In the absence of carbs in the diet, the glycolytic pathway, (the pathway that metabolizes carbs), is greatly slowed to the point that the body cannot get enough fuel to survive from this pathway. Therefore, the body turns to a pathway called, "beta oxidation:" the fat burning pathway, to provide its fuel. The fat is broken down into ketones which the body uses as fuel. The brain can and does use ketones for fuel when glucose is absent. The heart prefers ketones, and actually uses them exclusively, as does peripheral tissue.
About muscle wasting: the ketogenic diet actually prevents muscle wasting, b/c the pathway that breaks down muscle for fuel is the very pathway, (the glycolytic pathway), that has been shut down. Muscle wasting can only occur when a person restricts calories during a low fat, high carb diet. Muscle wasting cannot occur in a low carb diet, because it is impossible to burn amino acids for fuel in beta oxydation. Therefore, the proper ketogenic diet WILL burn only fat, and preserve muscle, AND it is not harmful for a healthy individual. Nonetheless, before embarking on any diet, you should see your physician first.
Regarding ketoacidosis: ketoacidosis, the dangerous phenomenon where the body's pH becomes too acidic to survive, is not the same as ketosis, and it ONLY happens in type one diabetics. Ketoacidosis CANNOT occur in a person without type one diabetes, b/c of metabolic pathways that would be too long to discuss here. What I will say is that healthy individuals pee and breathe out all excess ketones, thereby the body maintains it's healthy pH. Type I Diabetics cannot do this, and the ketone production runs amuck. A healthy individual cannot go into ketoacidosis.
The other facts: Every night while we sleep, the body fasts and burns ketones for fuel. The heart must have ketones to survive, as ketones are its only fuel source, and so a good 8 hours sleep is paramount to a healthy heart. The worst thing a person can do is eat carbs before bed.
Done properly, as any diet, the ketogenic diet is safe and effective. Again, check with your physician to make sure you should be on a diet in the first place.
So, that said, I feel better about it.
Last night I finished Sarah's little dress and will get photos as soon as possible. I also started on a baby blanket this past week and am about halfway. It is going to be pretty I think. Again, I'll put photos up when I can. I spent last evening watching television, crocheting and working on the dress.
Tonight I will continue on the dress but I need to work on some of the writing stuff. It's been a crazy summer and I see it passing so quickly. I have so many things I'd like to do and just not enough time. Work takes most of it away from me. I have to rest sometimes so that takes more. Not much left for the things I really enjoy. Not sure if I mentioned going swimming with Sarah on Saturday. I'll have to tell you in the next post.
I'm getting ready to shut down for the day. It has been rather slow. My co-worker friend, Carolyn has her surgery tomorrow on her back. My writing friend, Loraine has surgery as well on Friday. These ladies are special to me so just keep them in prayer.