Saturday, October 29, 2011

Into the Light?

I'm actually on my way out. I've been absolutely swamped, running all over. I haven't had this much fun since . . . well years. I have had so little pain in years! I'm awake and it feels sort of like Sleeping Beauty must have felt.

O.k. cue Prince Charming, please.

The Meet & Greet was a resounding success. Twenty people showed up and it was tremendous fun to talk and laugh with them all. I got to meet Loraine's husband, who is NOT doing NaNo but I really wanted to meet him and I think she just asked him to join her. The age range of the group was 15 to 55. Guess who was oldest? :-( Everyone seemed to be very excited and really glad to be there. I'm really looking forward to the month. Now if I can just get an idea.....

Cue plot bunnies, please.

Say a prayer for Loraine. She has her second surgery this month. They say it is easier than the first but who knows.

I'm on my way out to do some shopping and pick up Mike. I'm sure he'll want to have lunch with me. He needs hearing aid supplies I think so we'll be going to Beltone, too. Hope no one thinks it for me!

Had an epiphany this week in the car. The thought went through my mind, really a question, "Am I happy?" I really did think about it. My brain is working much better since I'm not dealing with pain and lack of sleep. I had an answer pretty quickly. "I'm enjoying what I'm doing. I am not happy."

I know, bit of an oxymoron. And yet, it is true. I don't actually think happiness is possible anymore. I'm living in a moment. I'm capturing whatever light I can pull around me. I'm latching onto whoever makes me smile, laugh, or feel special. I'm not thinking about tomorrow in any real or long term sense. It will have to take care of itself.

I just don't want to go back in that cave. I really, really don't.


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