Today Is. . .

I didn't know when I got up. I had to look at the computer to tell me the day. This is frequently the case now. I never know what day it is unless I look at a calendar. I don't remember things that I think I should remember. It is all the same, day after day.

I had a stressful call from an attorney on my job yesterday. The guy is a public attorney for the poor. Woman doesn't want to pay rent she owes and he said she shouldn't have to for a list of reason. I don't care personally but I'm under federal regs to do certain things. The guy was virtually yelling at me before I got him of the phone, doing the usual badgering game. It took me hours to calm down. I nearly had an anxiety attack and I don't know why.

David's job is going to end soon. I do not know what they will do if he doesn't find something else right away. I've had all I can take of the up and down and I suspect that is what the frequent anxiety attacks are signaling. I'm having them more frequently and they are lasting longer.

I had a meltdown last night after I'd held on as long as I could. No, I can't fix it without drugs that will prevent me from working. I have to work.

Mike's computer is now fixed and he took it home. I probably won't see him very often. He too has no reliable income. He is selling plasma again but anything can happen to mess that up, a broken vein, sickness, high bp, all kinds of stuff. They don't seem to get that I can't pay everyone's bills.

I'm waiting on an official estimate for the bathroom. I don't know when they will do it but I'd like to just get it done... yesterday. I getting more and more concerned that I'll have to sell the house and leave here. There is really no reason but the job to stay. And a job is the thing I'd need to leave. They are few and far between for everyone.

I'm off to work now. Another long trying day unless something happens to change it.