My Feet Hurt

Tonight, when I get home, I'm going to put something on my feet and knees. They hurt when I walk on them. I walk as if I'm on eggshells and it feels like something will break if I move very fast. That or I'll be groaning from the pain. Actually, I wore good shoes in the cave and even when I was stranded I had them on. My calves hurt, too, but that is probably from lack of use. I demanded that they carry me up that steep path. The heat dehydrated me and so I am sure the muscle pain was inevitable.

Other things are hurting. Once you realize how very alone you really are it changes things a lot. I'm taking the St. John's Wort regularly, morning and night. I doubt what I feel is depression. It could be but I don't think so. I suspect it is just defeat. It hurts, it is hopeless, and it is hobbling. Like my feet, I can't move forward very well.

I had a weird dream. I was preaching somewhere. LOL, I do NOT preach. I do NOT do public speaking unless forced by my job. But some preacher sitting in the minister's area kept interrupting me. He was very rude. I'd say something and he'd contradict me and started to "preach". I do not remember anything he said. I was beginning to think I'd not be able to get to my point, which was very important, for me if not for the congregation in the dream. I kept having to talk around him. I did finally reached the end with some effort.

His name? I don't know. Never remember seeing him before and he didn't look like anyone I knew. He is that nagging, haranguing voice that won't shut up. He sits in a place of authority but is not in authority. He never talked to me directly. He couldn't get up and stop me either, just pontificate to the audience. And I finished my "sermon" despite him.

I woke up. Time for work.