Sunday Outlook

I had a pretty good sleep last night! Wow...I was exhausted and when I went to bed went to sleep as soon as my lights went out, which was probably around 11:30 or a little after... I think.... Anyway, I slept hard until this morning. Had several dreams I think and woke up with a "bad" feeling. I hate dreams that you leave you feeling like that because you feel you have missed something or forgotten something or ... or something. Getting up with gloom hanging over you head is so unpleasant.

I lay there for a bit contemplating who'd go with me this morning and if I really thought I could go by myself. Yes, I can but I so want to take Sarah and I know that it isn't going to happen so I am always disappointed on Sundays. It never changes. I call, no one answers or if they do, they aren't going.

Maybe you can be a Christian and not go to church. But if I believe the Bible it instructs up to GO to God's house regularly. I understand the sick and infirm and those unable to go. God understands all that. He understands where I've been living for a year and a half. I've missed a lot. But I assure you my desire often dragged me there, even though at times I felt worse for going. If someone had gone with me, I'd have gone more. There is a something in me that longs to be where God is. I know, I know, He's WITH us. But there is something, perhaps the thing that drove King David to the temple, that calls to my heart to go. I don't think people realize that church attendance is not to bless them so much as it is to bless God. It is a way that honor is given to God. A day and a place set aside solely for Him. To abandon that is to tell God we're too busy to be bothered. Our life is much too important to give him a single day.

So, I go, alone if necessary. If no one goes, I want to go. But I want them to go, too. I want them to have that same desire. I've accepted it isn't going to happen. My desire is to honor God, to let Him know how much He means to me. I don't want to be so busy that God has to get in line for my complete attention.

Then, my phone rings and there is ever faithful Mike. Despite his problems. Despite his falling off the path at times, there is this thing in Mike, too. This desire to be there. He has always had it, never lost it, in fact. If he were a better driver, I'd let him take my car on days when I'm physically not able to go. But he's just terrible and I can't have anything happen to my car. But he goes with me. And in that, he honors me and his Dad. It is what we wanted for our children. I guess we did one thing right.

So, I'm off to church. I am not going to do anything this afternoon but take Mike to the store. I'm coming home and getting comfortable and not answering my phone. I did all the cleaning I need yesterday. Today, I want to rest.