Explosion on Alvord

Yes, it happened. And it is going to leave an ugly mess.

I had a horrible couple of days. Exhaustion lead to a melt down. I sit and cry every morning before I go to work. I don't know why. I just do. I sit in my empty house and wonder what to do. I need to crawl into a hole and pull the dirt in on top of me. I'm really too tired to dig one.

I didn't get a lunch hour yesterday. I spent the entire hour hauling Mike around so he could sell plasma which he didn't sell at all. That won't happen again.

Then, I went home yesterday to find that Mike had left huge sections of the yard uncut the day before. I don't monitor responsible adults. I forgot he is irresponsible. For weeks now he's left areas uncut, areas I can't see if I don't really walk behind the shed or hedges. One area I've pointed out for week. The grass is now over my knees in some areas and over my head in others. I dragged my sister's mower out because mine is in the shop and she let us use her's. I cut most of this stuff down.

The fence David took down still lay on the ground, despite my begging for weeks for him to come and get it up so we could cut that area. Grass grew up in it. He kept saying he couldn't get it up because small trees were grown in it and he had to cut them down to get it out. I went out and PULLED the flipping fence away from the so-called "trees". Mostly grass and vines, not trees. In one place a large tree stump has encased the fence. I can cut this out with an axe. Which I will do this afternoon when I get home. I will also drag the fences to the street along with the metal posts.

By the time I finished, I realized that David had arrived at my house while I was doing all the fence pulling and cutting and was sitting in the air conditioned living room. He was there to pick up the mower and go cut my sister's yard... for pay. I was gasping for breath, sweat rolling off my body, my back was screaming and my arms were hurting. He asked me about the mower. I told him he could do what he wanted that I didn't care. He never batted an eye but rather got smart and ask what my problem was and left with a smart remark.

I then called Mike and told him to never ask me for another thing, not money, not a ride, not to use the computer or the phone. I told Becca that the next time David needed gas money or anything else, he could take a flying leap. I informed them all that I was no longer saving money to leave behind when I was dead. I was going to spend it all on me and my house and hiring professional to do the job the imbeciles couldn't do. I will pay more but at least it will get done and done right.

Today, my back is wracked every time I lift my arm. My neck hurts a bit and my arm hurts.

I'm finished. I'm not wealthy. I have very average income. But if I died before retiring, that retirement money goes somewhere and I have life insurance. So, if I have one dime left by the time I leave this world it will all belong to Sarah when she reaches her 25th birthday. I'm getting the beneficiary forms in my paycheck this weekend.

I'm fed up with leaches and free loaders. I live with this day in and day out on my job but I'll be @#$%#@ if I will be related to them. I WORK for a living. Everyone else needs to do the same. And if they don't want to work or spend the money wisely, don't stick a hand out to me because I'll chop it off at the shoulder.

I'm about to travel.