Plans for The Day

I am officially off for the next 10 days. Vacation. I am sitting here posting photos and stuff in my pj's. I will get dressed soon but I was awakened at 7:30 a.m. by my son needing a ride. His brother's car wouldn't start so .... yes, vacation.

To update on a few things. I'm not going to Spain after all. They'll be gone three weeks and I'll have no where near enough vacation time for that. I'm not too disappointed. I'm being very careful with money at the moment. I did think about going to Puerto Rico. That would be fun and have that Spanish flair I'd like. I don't know if I'll get there this summer but I think I could manage that in time and money.

I do like the idea of going to England, Grammy. And I'm thinking by next summer I might be able to swing that. I never thought of traveling much outside of Jerry's military career. We loved it so much. We had plans for this summer, which fell apart, of course.

I'm going shopping for a laptop again. There are some really good sales this weekend for a lot of stuff. I just don't really want to buy anything with Vista. My programs work on XP and I don't want to buy something I have to buy new software for.

Of course, the justification I'm giving for a laptop is the opportunity it will give me to write anywhere and more often. Winter is a good story that needs to be finished. Mist MUST be finished or Alice will never speak to me again. I'd miss her far more than I'll miss Mist when it is done.

Anyway, I'm torn as to whether to wait for Windows 7 or buy now. I just don't know yet. I'll keep praying about it.

Please pray for Mike to find a good used car. We always pray about this because he can't spend more that $500 on a car. Well, I can't. And he is so rough on cars, I wouldn't if I could. God has blessed him with some really good used cars for very little money. He wrecked his car weeks ago and while it is still running, it isn't running well. It wouldn't start this morning. WIthout his car, I'm running everywhere.

I have to go buy ink for my printer. It is out again. I think Mike is coming over and printing color copies. It uses up my ink terribly. I am going to see if I can set a password print command to print unauthorized printing. I hardly print anything but documents and not many of those.

Well, the day is wearing and I have much to do so I will pop in later to see what you are all doing.

Crossing Days

I read my Horrorscope for fun. They're seldom right about anything. I've not won any money, never taken an unexpected trip, nor met a mysterious stranger...weird but not mysterious.

I look at Biorythms for the same reason. However, over the years, I notice that the biorythms actually appear more accurate about some things. Of course, it's all hokey pokey psuedo science but I've watched them for a couple of decades. About an hour ago I began to feel as if my mood was falling. I didn't think more about it but just a minute ago I was looking over my google homepage and was reminded that today is a crossing day for all of my biorythms. I noted this last week to myself but as I said, this is a passing interest only and I don't plan my life by such things. The lowest point will be later this evening. Hmmm.

For the uninformed and scorners, biorythms are a theory that our bodies are on a cycle that rises and falls throughout the month. On days when these cycles cross certain points or each other, our responses and reactions to things is affected. A good Wiki is found here to explain them: Biorythm

It is said that on crossing days you may be more prone to accidents. Again, related to physical cycles, we all know that at certain times of the month women have shorter attention spans, mood swings, and sort fuses. This is cyclical and will pass. You can plot it on a chart. My guess is we are all a mass of cycles. Life is a cycle whose high point can be marked by finding the middle between death and life.

If I think about Jerry in light of these cycles and waves, for him 29.5 was the peak of his life. At that point he was very successful in his military career, he was very healthy and running 5 miles three days a week. We were very happy and living in a foreign country! Our oldest child was about to be born. It was probably the happiest time in either of our lives. I remember it very well. We were on top of the wave.

Understand, I do not believe these cycles or biorythms predict the future, your actions, your behavior or any outcomes.Those are all up to you and God. I do tend to find them interesting because there is a definate wave pattern to human emotions, moods, activity, and intellectual processes, even human life. We all have "up" days and "down" days, some more than others. So it is not beyond my comprehension that these can be plotted on a chart. Women start to plot cycles on charts when they're teenagers! So, if there are physical cycles, then there has to be mental and emotional cycles. Therefore, biorythms are an interesting footnote in my long list of interesting subjects. I thought I'd post about it.

I've felt my mood dropping for the last two hours and couldn't understand it since I was relatively ok when I got up and this is my last day of work for ten days! All the waves are in the bottom of the chart and are crossing.

For those of you who are offended by horrorscopes and biorythms and all the other psuedoscience.... well, lighten up. Most of the scientific community say they are all bogus so there is notchance you job will be predicated on them. Most Chirstians say they are witchcraft so you may want to avoid them... the subjects, not Christians.

As for me, I also read the comics in the Sunday paper and do crossword puzzles. I swear that Born Loser can predict the future and there are secret messages in the crossword puzzles.

Gotta go now. Catch you all later.

I'm Going to Do It

I finally decided to start taking St. John's Wort. I 'm tired of waking up depressed and going to bed depressed. I am having trouble just getting started in the mornings and this is just the first stage. It may not get better on its on and I just am not willing to take the chance. I've been in that hell before and I'd just as soon bypass it this time. But I don't want prescriptions antidepressants. The counselor was skeptical about SJW but I've used it in the past with great results.

So, I'll get some today and start taking it tonight. I'll have to be careful in the sun but they have sunblock so that shouldn't be a problem. It can make you photo-sensitive. That's sensitive to light, not photographs.

I am also thinking about taking a trip to Spain in the fall. I was invited to go with my aunt and uncle. Have I told you this? Don't think so. Anyway, they are taking a cruise back from there but are leaving early to sightsee. I am not interested in a week at sea but I would love to go to Spain. Means boning up on Spanish... my two years of college Spanish is dismally rusty. And getting a passport, which someone pointed out I should start on now just in case. I think I will have enough time saved to take a few day and a bit of money saved for it. Means I won't fix something but these things don't come often. I checked priceline and the flights are unbelievably cheap!

Of course, I could go somewhere else if not Spain. Jilly, Wendy & Katey, if I decide to visit England, will you show me around? I'd love to visit Ireland, too. Choices, choices. I suppose I better read up on hotels and such too. I haven't done all this in decades... since we got out of service.

Anyway, those are some of the things I'm going to be doing.

Still don't know about the laptop. Had lots of suggestions. Alice is not subtle. She sent me advertisements. LOL! I guess I need one? But I have this lovely desktop that is only a year old and works great.

Cannibals Talk

Two cannibals were sitting around the campfire talking. One of the cannibals said, "You now, I just don't like my brother-in-law."

To which the other replied, "Then just eat the noodles."


From: The Good Clean Funnies List (www. gcfl.com)

Winding Down

Monday is closing out. What a busy day it was, too. I was late getting to work because I had to go take Mike's birth certificate to the Social Security office. I wasn't about to let them have the original. They made a copy.

Once I got to work, about 2 hours late. I skipped lunch and worked all day. I did get my desk relatively cleaned off but I know it will pile up quickly if I let my guard down. I am working on getting all the bits and pieces processed before I leave. I dread coming back after a vacation of any kind. It just builds up so badly.

The day was beautiful but I've been down since yesterday. I can't seem to get very happy for long. I did start a new puzzle. I did the sorting tonight. I don't know if I will be able to do much before I leave but I will have it out so I can work on it as I feel the need to distance my mind.

It really isn't very good, you know. I can't think of anything I want to do. I don't want for any thing at this point. I have food, shelter, transportation, a job, clothing, every need is met. I have a little money to do little things for my children. I can take Sarah for milkshakes. I can buy her dresses and shoes without thinking about it much. But none of it suffices. It is as if it is all pointless.

There was a time when doing something to the house would excite me. Jerry and I would plan, gather materials, and then set to work fixing something up. We'd always argue somewhere in the process but we would keep working until we got it done and then stand back and smile at how good a job we did. We'd be so excited to have done something. We've done floors, walls, plumbing, everything you can think of here. We loved our house and loved doing things around here. It doesn't look like much now but we envisioned a lovely home. Dreams that never came true for us.

I find myself wanting to do those things and looking at the job and realizing that it doesn't matter. Even if I get it done, there is no excitement or fun in the job or completed process. It will be nice. It just doesn't matter much.

I'm start going trying to writing again. I finished chapter 43 of Mist last night. I started chapter 43 before Jerry died. I let Alice know it was done and she emailed to say she had read it and liked it. But she loves Mist. I have no idea why. Lord, I remember when I started that thing it was just an exercise in writing and never intended for public consumption, never mind a 75,000 word story! That is the longest novel I've ever written so it would be stupid not to complete it. I would like to get the rest of it done now. I still don't have much concentration for more than blogging. I was just beginning to get focused when life turned over and poured out everything.

I'm still thinking about a laptop. I don't know what is the best way to go. I like the idea of carrying it with me so I can write anywhere but the question now is, will I? I don't now. I'm scared to spend $800 on a laptop that I won't use.

I'm going to shower now and try to get settled for the night. I've forgotten my pills again so I'll do that now. Have a good night.

Bummer of a Day

It was a long day and I'm tired. Dave and Becca took me out to eat. That is a very rare treat, indeed and I enjoyed it, as much as I can enjoy anything. Everything is tempered with sadness and there hangs a cloud over all that I think, feel and see.

I am able to get through most days without thinking a lot but there is always the unexpected moment when I can't get my breath or I have an image flash across my vision. A word, phrase, melody, a photograph, or movie are all catalyst for a break in the flow of my life that begins with a small gasp.

Tonight, I"m tired and on my way to bed. I've sat up too late watching Hulu. I have lab work in the a.m. so good night.

Home For Lunch

I came home for lunch today because my leg is acting up. Sciatica flare on my left side and it is very uncomfortable. My leg hasn't gone out yet and I'm hoping it doesn't.

Don't know if any of you remember last year when it went out I had days of trouble. That is what sent me to the pain management clinic where they put needles in my neck instead.

I have a hot pack on it that you get from the store but it isn't very hot. And it isn't helping actually. Tonight I will have to get the heating pad and put that on it.

I had a call from one of my NaNo friends, Mermaid, last night. It was nice to talk to her again. We had not spoken since sometime in December. She has been my writing buddy for two years and she is just a hoot to hang out with in the forums.

I've made some lovely friends and acquaintances here and on NaNoWriMo. It has been so good to get the messages, comments, and calls from my online friends. I'm very glad I'm so picky about who I add. I've made good choices there. You are all so very good to me. This year has not started well but you support has been a blessing.

Now, back to work. I have just enough time to drive back. I hope to pop in tonight but I've been informed by Alice that I must start thinking about writing again. I agree. I want to work on Hidden in the Mist and The End of Winter is waiting for the ending. That is a good story and needs to be edited but I made myself a promise to edit only after I've got to the end. It isn't far, I think. But Jerry's death has taken more than Jerry from me. I've lost half of who I am and that must be evaluated. I am also not together at all. My sense of time, my ability to organize, think with clarity, all have been impacted in a negative way. I have to get that back. I do feel as if I am thinking more clearly but I'm still disorganized.

Stay my friends and keep me in your prayers. I can't go wrong with that.

Why What's Marked in My Bible

If you begin to notice a pattern to the verses marked in my Bible, it will be that most, if not all of them relate to broken hearts, depressed spirits, and sadness.

I don't relate a lot of my past here but there was much to be sad about, there was a lot to be depressed over, and a lot of heartaches. Life has been a long series of challenges that often left me in a state of depression. That cycle reached a peak in 1998 and was only overcome by my faith.

Always I would find these verses, like gemstones strewn across my path, and I would mark them in colors. I'd go back to them again and again in times of stress.

During this time since Jerry's death, there are have been several times that I opened my Bible and "stumbled" across one of these marked passages, again like gems strewn in my path. I always pick them up and look at them.

No, they don't make me feel better. They do not relieve my grief, absolve my feelings of guilt, dry my tears, nor comfort me in the usual sense of the word. It would be foolish to expect that and to say they do would just be a lie. Those things only come over time and through a lot of effort on our part.

No, these marked verses serve simply as reminders. A reminder that what happens in life can't be avoided, neither good or bad. I don't know why my life has been filled with some of the difficulties I've faced. I know that I made a decision as a young girl that I wanted to live life, in all its variety, to the fullest. I remember asking God to let me experience life. I can't very well fault him for answering my prayers. I just don't always like what I experience. Nor do I know why he allows me to be stupid about a lot of things, never showing me until it is too late. But when I am in my right mind, as I seem to be at this moment, I know that what I asked for is what I have been given.

To appreciate the sweet, you must know and understand bitterness. To appreciate a sunny day, you must endure storms. To enjoy a warm day you have to endure severe cold. You can't live without extremes because if you do, you won't understand the relief that comes afterward.And you won't know any joy at all.

Amidst all the turmoil of my early life, the struggles of my married life, and the torment of my current life, I know beyond all doubt that I have been blessed. Always, throughout my whole lift I have been able, particularly after the crisis, to see the hand of God directing every path, even the most nightmarish paths, through the darkest vales. I often can't see him, feel him, or hear him in this place. I just know he sent me into it. I don't like it. I just love him.

You may doubt many things about religion, Christians, and the Bible. I can only tell you what I know. There is a hand that directs us all. Some take hold of it and are lead. Others take it but must be dragged along. Still others slap it away, preferring their own path. But the hand is always extended and waiting.

I hold on with both hands and close my eyes. He sees better than I.

What's Marked in My Bible, #21

Psalms 34:18 The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.

Psalms 37:3-8

3. Trust in the Lord, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed.
4. Delight thyself also in the Lord: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.
5. Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.
6. And he shall bring forth thy righteousness as the light, and thy judgment as the noonday.
7. Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for him: fret not thyself because of him who prospereth in his way, because of the man who bringeth wicked devices to pass.
8. Cease from anger, and forsake wrath: fret not thyself in any wise to do evil.

Psalms 37:25 & 28

25. I have been young, and now am old; yet have I not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging bread.

28. For the Lord loveth judgment, and forsaketh not his saints; they are preserved for ever: but the seed of the wicked shall be cut off.

What's Marked in My Bible, #20

Psalms 27:14 Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord.

Psalms 29:2 Give unto the Lord the glory due unto his name; worship the Lord in the beauty of holiness.

Psalms 30:5 & 11
5. For his anger endureth but a moment; in his favour is life: weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.

11. Thou hast turned for me my mourning into dancing: thou hast put off my sackcloth, and girded me with gladness;

Psalms 32:1 Blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered.

Another song:


Psalms 34

1. I Will bless the Lord at all times: his praise shall continually be in my mouth.
2. My soul shall make her boast in the Lord: the humble shall hear thereof, and be glad.
3. O magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt his name together.
4. I sought the Lord, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.


If I ever get a way to get music to these, I'll let you hear them. They are all quite lovely.

What's Marked in My Bible, #19

Psalms 18:6 In my distress I called upon the Lord, and cried unto my God: he heard my voice out of his temple, and my cry came before him, even into his ears.

The following Psalms are all songs I learned while living in Germany. These were quiet popular in a multinational church because everyone knew them!

Psalms 19:7-11b
7. The law of the Lord is perfect, converting the soul: the testimony of the Lord is sure, making wise the simple.
8. The statutes of the Lord are right, rejoicing the heart: the commandment of the Lord is pure, enlightening the eyes.
9. The fear of the Lord is clean, enduring for ever: the judgments of the Lord are true and righteous altogether.
10. More to be desired are they than gold, yea, than much fine gold: sweeter also than honey and the honeycomb.
11. . . . and in keeping of them there is great reward.

Psalms 19:14 Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength, and my redeemer.

Psalms 20:6-8
6. Now know I that the Lord saveth his anointed; he will hear him from his holy heaven with the saving strength of his right hand.
7. Some trust in chariots, and some in horses: but we will remember the name of the Lord our God.
8. They are brought down and fallen: but we are risen, and stand upright.

Psalms 25:1-2

1. Unto thee, O Lord, do I lift up my soul.
2. O my God, I trust in thee: let me not be ashamed, let not mine enemies triumph over me.

What's Marked in My Bible, #18

Psalms 16:11. Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore.

The following is another scripture song:

Psalms 17:3, 5, 6,7, 8,9

3. Thou hast proved mine heart; thou hast visited me in the night; thou hast tried me, and shalt find nothing; I am purposed that my mouth shall not transgress.

5. Hold up my goings in thy paths, that my footsteps slip not.
6. I have called upon thee, for thou wilt hear me, O God: incline thine ear unto me, and hear my speech.

8. Keep me as the apple of the eye, hide me under the shadow of thy wings,
9. From the wicked that oppress me, from my deadly enemies, who compass me about.

Tuesday.... A Sunny Start

The week began with sunshine... for a change. Today it seems more of the same. I had an appointment yesterday afternoon with the counselor. He said he thinks I'm better. {sigh} Really, it just depends on the day of the week and how hard I've been trying to avoid things. The tireder I am, the worse I get.

I've rested better Sunday and Monday nights. Perhaps because of the prayer cloth Dave and Becca brought me on Sunday night. I pinned it to my PJ top and I went to bed both nights exhausted. Seriously, exhausted. I could barely keep my eyes open both nights. I woke up on Monday and this morning at 6 a.m.. My alarm is set to go off at 6:30 and I usually hit snooze until 6:45.

After I started this I was reminded of the software committee meeting today. They provided lunch but it was a whole day of nothing but listening to a software presentation.

Ultimately, I don't think my opinion will count for anything. They just want to be able to say they consulted every department. I think the accounting personnel have already decided on what they want for the agency and it won't matter what the rest of us say.

Then, I went with Dave and Becca to meet with the attorney's office and discuss their bankruptcy. I promised I'd help them with it. They are never going to get out of the mess they are in any other way. I don't approve of bankruptcy. We were in a mess several times and managed to clean it up and finally got our credit established. But we were never in as deep as these two. And with no skills and low paying jobs, they will never be able to do anything.

I'm tired tonight. I've been up since 6 a.m. Dave and Becca are cutting the yard so I will have a nice yard this weekend.

I have been reading my new study Bible. I quite like it. It has a lot of historical sidebars and footnotes and that is different and very interesting.

I had plans for this post today but it seems to have gone now. I hate getting interrupted at it. Maybe I'll be back later.

The Weekend So Far. . .

Becca and I cleaned out the garage yesterday. A pile of trash sits by the street waiting for someone to come and spirit it away. I have to pay someone to come get it as I missed the heavy trash pickup in April. The weather was either too cold or too wet to clean the garage and they came a day early, anyway!

So, we cleaned it yesterday. We put a lot of stuff back in around 7 p.m. because it got dark, but there are things I need to sort out. She does to as some belong to them. Still, it isn't nearly as much. I've told them all the storage facility is closing and they must figure out what to do with their items. I'd like everything out and the car in. What a novel idea!

I've had a lot of water come in. The thing leaks around the edges of the wall when we have a lot of rain. It sits at ground level. We've had a lot of rain and so water got in. I have to get the mess cleared. I'm concerned my cabinets may be messed up now. I'll be back out next weekend if I can but I am supposed to go to Florida the last week of the month.

And this morning I knew I'd been cleaning. My back is screaming. My hands hurt. My arms are achy between the shoulder and elbow. My calves hurt. I just have no muscle strength anymore. I asked the doctor the other day if I should join a club again and try to build my strength back up but she is sending me to water therapy instead. That's going to cost more, I bet.

I had both boys, Becca and Sarah, with me in church this morning. We went to lunch afterward. It was nice, but I so missed Jerry. And this afternoon has been horrid. I took them home, and then Mike left. I came home and lay down on the couch for a bit, which is very comfy but when I realized I was going to sleep and was cold, I got in bed. Where I then could not sleep. I got up and put a hot pack on my back... which isn't hot at all, and here I sit.

I'm tired. And I'm exhausted of falling into this terrible empty place. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I'd like to rest and enjoy things but I just keep slamming into circular walls.

I do not know if I will ever get over this thing. Yes, I know everyone says I will. But I can't see anything beyond it. There is no purpose to it. It makes one realize the planning and dreaming are a waste of time. We dreamed of watching Sarah graduate from high school, go to college and maybe, if we were lucky, marry and see our first great grandchild. We planned to do things for us this year. Now, I make no plans and dream no dreams. It doesn't matter whether or not I fix the house because tomorrow, I may be gone. So I don't really want to bother. The effort is just too much. I do not relish ripping out floors anymore.

This afternoon I lay on the bed and remembered that we had planned to change the light fixture to match the one in the study. I remembered the night we changed that one. Took far too long and we kept having trouble with the box in the ceiling. When we finished it we had this great sense of satisfaction because it was so pretty and we had fun doing it. I can't do that alone. I don't want to spend any money anymore. It isn't fun at all. And when I hurt, I realize that my working days are probably numbered. I'm not going to be able to keep doing this. It isn't getting better.

Someone once said to me that there is no real purpose to life. I disagreed then. Now, I think it is true. We create meaning in our heads and we're just passing through. Try as I might, I can't find any other answer. It all means nothing at the end. A collection of painful memories left behind to torment the living.

You know, I have those grief books everyone gave me, two or three of them. I've read a bit in one, finished the small one the counselor gave me, and another I started but couldn't read. It wasn't MY loss. I have found nothing in any of them that is helpful to me. Isn't that crazy?

But, after thinking about it, I've decided that everyone takes this journey for themselves. You can't share it. There are traveling companions, but they are all strangers on the train. Each one gets off at a different stop. Some sooner, some later. But we each arrive at a different point in the journey. The journey means nothing.

I'm one of those people who sit on the train until the end of the line, staring out the window at the passing landscape - some barren desert, some verdant forest, some dark and bleak and wasted, some sun-drenched flowering meadows. I can get off at any stage of the journey, but there is nothing waiting for me there. I know they are all just a facade, a front. What lies behind the scenes outside the windows was at the beginning of the journey. So, I continue the journey because I've already been there. I don't know what lies at the end because I don't know where the end lies.

I remember this terribly long stretch of interstate highway between Montgomery, Alabama and Mobile, Alabama and a similar stretch between Myrtle Beach, South Carolina and Charleston, South Carolina.(See the last S. C. album) Straight highways that take you from one place to another. Hours of nothing but pine forest. There is nothing of interest or merit or meaning except that you have to pass through them to get to your destination. They are deadly dull to pass thorough and frightening if you breakdown at night. No houses for miles and miles. If you travel it alone, you can go to sleep at the wheel.

This is that kind of journey. Long, pointless, empty and frightening. It'd be nice if you could sleep, but there's no one to drive for you or to wake you when it is over. So, I ride the train, staring out the windows and waiting until the end of the line.

Shopping

Just got back from shopping. Bought three tops form Kohl's and a 4th of July dress for Sarah. It was just too cute to pass up.

I also went to Penny's where I bought my fourth and fifth pair of St. John's Bay shoes. One is another pair that I will wear to work. All four pair are exactly alike...yes. Two black, one navy and one brown. Why four just alike? Well, they are the most comfortable working shoe I've had in years. I wear out a pair in six months. I'm scared they will stop carrying this particular shoe so, I bought one in each color and an extra pair of black today to save the wear and tear on the other pair of black.

The second pair I bought today is a pair of sandals by St. John's Bay. Absolutely wonderful on my foot! I've been trying to find a summer sandal but they are all so ugly, so uncomfortable, or just to teeny-bopper for me. These are really nice and again, the insole is heavenly.

Then, I went to Sam's Club. Do they have them in Europe, Jilly? A bulk discount warehouse where you have a membership to purchase things. Although, I often discount the discount portion. Sometimes it is cheaper elsewhere. Anyway, I bought some food and a Dora book and a Dr. Suess book for Sarah. I bought me a new study Bible. This is a chronological one like my other but this one has study notes. The other I have it a "through the year" chronological Bible.

Now, I'm probably going somewhere else.

Anyone know why spending money is making me ill? I use the money from Jerry's pension for the "extras" I've been buying, like the clothes, shoes, and furniture. I've noticed that I get sick to my stomach every time on the way home.

Hollow Places

Voids.

Empty space.

Barren lands.

Vacant buildings.

Violent people.

Hungry children.

Lost people.

Broken hearts.

Lonely people.


Know any? Fill them.

What's Marked in My Bible, #16

Job 38:36. Who hath put wisdom in the inward parts? or who hath given understanding to the heart?

When I lived in Frankfurt, Germany from 1977-1979 we learned several songs from the Bible. This chapter contains one. I could sing them but with no music it wouldn't be very pretty. I did post one in the Melodies tag box on the home page, but not this one.

Psalms 3:1-6
1. Lord, how are they increased that trouble me! many are they that rise up against me.
2. Many there be which say of my soul, There is no help for him in God. Selah.
3. But thou, O Lord, art a shield for me; my glory, and the lifter up of mine head.
4. I cried unto the Lord with my voice, and he heard me out of his holy hill. Selah.
5. I laid me down and slept; I awaked; for the Lord sustained me.
6. I will not be afraid of ten thousands of people, that have set themselves against me round about.

Psalms 11:3 If the foundations be destroyed, what can the righteous do?

They are being slowly eroded. As a child, I could pray in school and no one thought it strange to pray at a dinner table or talk about Sunday School. The Ten Commandments were more than a set of rules, the were the foundation of democracies.

Today, the word Christian is considered an insult and a shame. To practice Christian faith is to invite insult, ridicule, and lawsuits. Prayer is forbidden except in private.

Yet, how amazing that we are ordered to be tolerant of a religion that advocates the use of violence to force compliance and conversion, tolerate their praying in public, tolerate their hatred of Christians.

Yet, let a Christian even speak in a public place the words of the Bible, and they will be accused of violating the separation of church and state. Let them criticize a public official, a lifestyle, or a certain behavior and they can be arrested for a hate crime. Let them disagree with the politics of the day and special interest groups are allowed to prohibit them for participating in a political event, simply by whining.

The world has truly been turned upside down. If speech were truly free in American or anywhere, we could speak without fear of reprisal or restraint.

Stepping off the soap box now.

What's in My Bible, #16

Probably one of the most poetical and beautiful chapters in the Bible. And my most favorite.

Job 23

1. Then Job answered and said,
2. Even to day is my complaint bitter: my stroke is heavier than my groaning.
3. Oh that I knew where I might find him! that I might come even to his seat!
4. I would order my cause before him, and fill my mouth with arguments.
5. I would know the words which he would answer me, and understand what he would say unto me.
6. Will he plead against me with his great power? No; but he would put strength in me.
7. There the righteous might dispute with him; so should I be delivered for ever from my judge.
8. Behold, I go forward, but he is not there; and backward, but I cannot perceive him:
9. On the left hand, where he doth work, but I cannot behold him: he hideth himself on the right hand, that I cannot see him:
10. But he knoweth the way that I take: when he hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold.
11. My foot hath held his steps, his way have I kept, and not declined.
12. Neither have I gone back from the commandment of his lips; I have esteemed the words of his mouth more than my necessary food.
13. But he is in one mind, and who can turn him? and what his soul desireth, even that he doeth.
14. For he performeth the thing that is appointed for me: and many such things are with him.
15. Therefore am I troubled at his presence: when I consider, I am afraid of him.
16. For God maketh my heart soft, and the almighty troubleth me:
17. Because I was not cut off before the darkness, neither hath he covered the darkness from my face.

What's Marked in My Bible, #15

Job 13:15. Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him: but I will maintain mine own ways before him.

Job 13: 23. How many are mine iniquities and sins? make me to know my transgression and my sin.

Here is another of those verses that resulted in a wise saying:

Job 19:20. My bone cleaveth to my skin and to my flesh, and I am escaped with the skin of my teeth.

And this always gives me a great sense of excitement:

Job 19:5. For I know that my redeemer liveth, and that he shall stand at the latter day upon the earth:
26. And though after my skin worms destroy this body, yet in my flesh shall I see God:
27. Whom I shall see for myself, and mine eyes shall behold, and not another; though my reins be consumed within me.

Wooooweee!

Calendar Says.... Friday

I thought it would never get here. What a long trying week. A lot going on on the home front and work is hectic. I'm trying to push ahead so I won't come back from vacation to a mound of work.

I'm had a lot of pain this week and I wish there was a solution. I just ache all around my neck and shoulders. Sharp pains that worsen if I turn my head or get in an awkward position for long. Forget looking over my shoulder. I'm using hot stuff on it but it is pretty much useless.

I plan on spending tomorrow cleaning around the property. I must get my energy up so I can accomplish something. The yard is terrible and the house needs as much weeding as the yard. And my garage... doesn't bear thinking about.

I am sitting here not wanting to work. I have found putting up the post of verses I've marked in my Bible has become interesting to me. I remember when I marked some of them, and others I rethink them. And I find the oddities a bit more fun. I'll be posting one about automobiles and one about freeways.... LOL, you'll have to keep reading to find out. Keep in mind that some of these odd verses were shown to me by people long dead. I marked them solely because they were strange.

It is sad how people misjudge the Bible and ignore it. I am not sure why that is. Someone once said a truly educated mind has read all the classics and the Bible. I always thought that was true. The influence of the Bible on history and literature is profound, despite modern efforts to obliterate it from all thought and education.

In my secular college, I took a "Bible as Literature" class (right before my Anthropology class!) and it was such a fun class because we examined it as great literature, not a religious document. There is much of interest in the pages. People were not different then than they are now so you find many similar events happening. And the insight into life and people is profound.

Anyway, I won't convince heathens to read it but I thank them for reading the rest of my blog. LOL, I have friends in many places and not all agree with me on religious matters. I hope they know me well enough to know their faith or lack thereof doesn't make me like them less.

I am going back to work. I need to do two moves and several other items today. Everyone have a great day. I will be back later tonight, I am sure.