I am slowing gaining on the work load. . . operative word: slowly. But a gain is a gain, right? A moment ago I prayed for there to be no interim changes for the next two weeks. By then they will have all got and lost a job three times so it will all even out. I will only have to do the work once, rather than three times.
How does that work? Client got a job. Reported job in 10 days on last of ten days or day they quit. Worked a week. Quit job. Reported quit job on first of 10 days. Got new job. Reported on last of 10 days and before verification of old job has come in. I have to send the verification every time they file one. Must hold all verifications until they come in and I can process in order. They call every week, "What's my rent?" I wait. I finally get the changes back and done. They quit new job because rent is too high ($50? $200? whatever). I start over.
And this is how the day will go.. well, there's more but if that bored you, well, you don't want to know. Or maybe you do? Have I ever told you about the woman with the cows? No? Well, that's how she gets her milk. No! She doesn't milk them! She's hooked up to the cows and .... yes.
How about the woman that people always steal her bed? They also crawl into her attic and send poison in her house, too. She once appeared at the door to pay her rent to one landlord... stark naked. She's a large woman. He said he'd never rent to her again unless he could be sure she was on her meds.
Or the guy who kicked the bathroom sink off the wall? There is the woman who is about 78 and her boyfriend is a 30 yr old paranoid schizophrenic (remember the sink) and the Landlord was doing an inspection and found . . . wait for it. . . handcuffs under her bed.
Did I mention the one who said, "It wasn't my drugs! My friend offered me a lift. I didn't know he was going to fire a gun out the window. Then the cops pulled him over." Do tell? Um... the drugs were in her purse. "But they weren't my drugs!"
No, I am not making this up!
Then there was the mother daughter combo sitting in a meeting and I though they were ill and about to faint. Turns out they were stoned. Daughter was taking Mom's cancer pain killers. (shakes head)
How about this one. She: "I need an extra bedroom." Me: "You don't qualify for an extra bedroom." She: "I got to have one. Sometime I need my pleasure and can't be doing that with my kids around." Unfortunately... or maybe fortunately, we don't subsidize that activity... oh, wait... yes, we do!
A different she: "Can I get assistance if I marry a felon?" Me: Raised brows. "Probably not." AND WHY WOULD YOU? Fortunately these things usually come by way of phone calls so my facial expressions are not visible.
Yes. This is what I deal with on a daily basis. And let me tell you that I earn every stinking tax dollar you pay cause I'm the one listening to these people. Now you begin to see. This is a government job. Still want one?
Today I feel if my day is no worse than yesterday, I'll be ahead. One can only hope.
I have to go. The phone is ringing.
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