Gray skies, nothing but gray skies. Gray skies from now on.... Well, it feels like it. Rain is falling. Does rain do anything else? Lately, not much but once it falls, it just sort of lies there. The ground is saturated and I'm beginning to feel as if I'm watching a lake form around my house. Fortunately, I live on high ground so, I'll have plenty of warning if it gets too bad.
I have to say I am having a really bad bout with pain. My back, from my neck to my ankles. feels as if I have been beaten with a stick. It feels just like I am bruised all over. It isn't funny but my butt and upper thighs are probably the worst. I"ve never had pain in that location of this type except when I started doing squats to strengthen and tone that area. I can assure you, I have not done that for years.
This pain thing is just insane. There is no rhyme or reason and no way to predict where it will strike next. If it wasn't so miserable it would be fascinating. I test areas to see exactly what hurts and how it feels and I am always surprised by what I find. But it really hurts.
My husband told me today I needed to see the doctor and get something for it. I looked at him and wondered where he's been for the last two years. I said, "There is no sense seeing a doctor. I am already taking everything they know to give me. It doesn't work. There is no medicine, no cure, no reason, no understanding in regards to this. Until a few years ago insurance wouldn't cover it because it "didn't exist" except in the patient's head. It can't be fixed or repaired or managed."
He looked at me as if I had just sprouted two heads. I'm not sure if this isn't the first time it has really registered that I am really hurting and it is not going to go away. Well, not unless God heals me. And I don't think my husband really gets it yet.
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