Miscellany

What an odd start to the week. I'm totally zoned out for some reason. I called in sick. I've got some kind of stomach bug. Grumpy stomach all day and frequent potty breaks. Not a lot of fun but it hasn't been too terrible. I've done a lot of reading of blogs and articles. Finally decided I should post something on my own blog but found my mind is just mush for some reason. I feel like someone cut the mooring line and I'm adrift on an isolated sea waiting for someone to come along and tow me back to shore.

Tomorrow begins the July 2014 Camp NanoWriMo. I'm rather excited but this mush brain is not a good sign. I am hoping that the Mibbit online write-ins are going to be well attended and helpful. They were last November.

My son and his wife came on over the weekend to pick up Sarah for the summer. Although I enjoyed seeing them and getting to hear him preach for the first time on Saturday night, it was also a sad time as I will not see my Sarah for five weeks. I'm sure I'll be fine but already, my day is dimmer and the summer seems a bit less interesting. By the time she returns, school will be starting and I'll only see her as time permits.

I've been doing laundry today as well. I didn't do any over the weekend becasue of company. At this way I'll have all bedding and towels washed before the writing starts and I won't have to worry about it.

I'm still worried about the looming retirement. Things are going to get very tight. But I'm hoping it won't be as bad as my imagination. Things seldom are but it is those outside of seldom that has me worried.

Posts about Camp activity will be on Writing My Life Away so I can keep things straight. Ofen have to remind myself "personal journal", "writing blog", "praise blog" so I can keep it straight. I'd just as soon lump it all together but for some reason, it doesn't work well. Just as well. But this blog thing is out of control. At least I'm writing all manner of stuff.

Going now. I'm going to check on some other forms of employment for September. Don't want to go back to work anywhere until mid September. That gives me time to relax, recover, and recoup.

Be careful outside. It is 92 here and that's just the temp, not the heat index.

Surprise, Surprise, Surprise

I've never won anything. Really. Not anything of any value. Oh, sure, I've got those BOGO coupons or discount coupons from businesses. I don't count those as prizes so much as fish hooks. So, when I got a message yesterday that I'd actually won something, I was a little bit skeptical. There are no free lunches, not in  my world.

If you look to the left, you'll see a packed bag. No, I'm not taking a trip, at least, not yet. Maybe soon. This is a emergency preparedness kit I won from our local power company, Vectren. It contains all kinds of really cool things. There was a weather radio, which is already set up in my living room. Other items inclued a floatable flashlight with a dead battery. (See, I told you.) There is a small battery operated fan (I haven't checked those batteris),  three games (UNO, checkers, and chess) in case the power is out and you can't watch t.v., manual can opener, a large jug of water and two small bottles of water, two packages of Wet Ones wipes, a small first aide kit, ligher and scented candle. There might have been something else but I can't remember off hand.

What I really like is this very large tote that it all came in. That thing is really nice! If that was all they gave away it would have been totally cool to me. I need to empty it and really check it out but last night when I was looking at the bag I said, "Maybe this means I'm going to be traveling."

Now, if someone will just call about that free trip to the Gulf Coast.....

Steroid to Heaven

It is amazing what a difference a couple of little white pills make. I saw my rhuematologist on Thursday and she put me on steroids for the next three weeks. Within 24 hours the swelling in my hands and pain in all my joints had radically begun to ease. I could actually bend my fingers again without feeling like they were encased in plastic. Most of my pain is gone, with only minor twinges. Even my neck is much better.

It was suggested by the surgeon's PA, whom I saw on Monday for a follow up to my previous visit, that I may have occipital neuralgia. There was talk of an ocipital block (a shot in the back of my head, where a bundle of nerves exit your skull on either side of your spine). It didn't sound appealing to me. However, I'm at a point that radical measure must be taken. It isn't off the table.

For the moment, I'm improving so I'll just go with that. I still have neck pain in certain positions but I'm able, thanks to the physical therapist, to help that with exercises. I fear the pain will be with me forever. Too much wrong in my neck to correct.

Work is worse than ever. I'm not able to do any of my work. We're all doing the work of the admissions office. It won't matter soon because we will be two months behind as of July 1.

I'm sitting around trying to figure out what to do. I have turned in all my retirment paperwork and plan on giving my notice the last week of July. Originally my plan was to stay through August 15 but honestly, I don't want to stay. I'm angry they've put me in this position. I like my job, when I cna do my job. But they've piled on extra duties to the point I can't cope, and I have coped exceedingly well for 15 years, thank you and three different supervisors and 4 executive directors. So, this isn't me. My work load is unreasonable and the word is that this will continue till the end of the year.

The DIC (duffus in charge) says when my coworker retires in August he can give the remaining three case managers 500 cases each and that'll take care of the problem. The problem being a department that had 6 case managers when he started will be down to 3. He thinks he can get a couple of part time people to do the support work. That'd be good if he ever told the truth. The support people will be pulled off our roster and charged with doing duties for Admissions, inspections, and front desk duty. We'll get very little help if the past support staff was any indication. I never had help, ever, in the years I've been here to do my "second" job of landlord training, file set up and managing. So, no thank you.

But I'm scared to death. We're talking $1000 a month in lost income. Plus the medical benefits that will cost me an additionaly $250 a month to cover. So, anyone who thinks this is exciting has a twisted sense of humor. This won't be fun once it is done. I did the math this weekend. I'll be able to cover standard housing costs = house payment, lights, water, and gas out of the retirement from my job. From my widow's pension I will have to cover medical $250 mo.), food, house and car insurance, internet, and a phone. My house phone is through my internet. I'm thinking the cell phone will be gone. That's a luxury. I have a big concern about things that might break down or need repair to the house. There's no money for that and won't be. I'll need to find some kind of work. I was looking for jobs online and if I drove a truck I could start tomorrow. But that's pretty much it. None of the jobs pay much above minimum wage and are things I'll never get hired to do and probably couldn't do anyway with my physical issues.

Sooooo, aside from the depressing financial issues related to quitting my job, I feel functional.  The magic of steroids has kicked in. I'm hoping the short temper I had last time I took them doesn't appear but oh well. Fire me. I do believe the snarky symptom is in full swing.

"There's a feeling I get when I look to the west,

And my spirit is crying for leaving."

Stairway to Heaven, Led Zeppelin

A Compilation of Beautiful Days

One Step, Two Step

Once in the Atlanta International Airport I remember seeing someone going the wrong way on the automatic pedestrian walkways. The weren't making good progress.

There's no point in pretending. Some days are just going to be that kind of day.  You know, where you think you're doing great only to find, at the end of the day that you were moving backward all the time.

I have some personal matters to take care of and I simply don't have the time to do it. I can't get time off for anything except doctor's appointments. Today it struck me that everything seems to be working against me in accomplishing something positive. I'm taking two steps back for every one I take forward. 

Tonight I simply crashed when I realized I had two things that simply must be completed this week and tomorrow is Thursday. I need to be where there is a phone and I can talk without someone eavesdropping on my calls. I am across the hall from the supervisor and if I close my door, even a little, he will barge in without knocking. I don't know what he thinks I'm going to be doing but there have been a few times when I really wish I'd had my skirt up adjusting my pantyhose. I'd have a case then for sexual harassment because he does it frequently. We've caught him several times eavesdropping on conversations when he came down a hallway and stood around the corner of a room. 

What did you say? Oh, yes, he is.

Anyway, I'm feeling a bit hopeless about everything. I know that I'll feel better when the weekend arrives but I'm hoping that the weather won't punish me for it. It has done so every weekend for the last month or so. Hands are a bit better today but I'm putting something on them every four hours. I can't keep loading my system on this stuff. 

I sat and watched t.v. all evening. Totally wasted my time. I'm tired and feeling very stressed. I don't have an outlet for that. A few times I thought about writing. Once I went out and walked around looking at the plants in the back yard and wondered what I was thinking. I don't know. I like planting things and growing things. Once started I tend to go overboard. If I don't get some trellises up by the weekend, I'm going to have a mass of vines all over the place. The stuff is growing at an astounding rate.

I think I've got some sun sensitivity going on. I haven't really gotten blistered but I keep getting bright red and one of the side effects of metholtrexate is sun sensitivity. I'm not a happy camper. Everything I enjoy is being slowly taken away from me and it is very, very frustrating. 

I'm headed to bed now. I just decided to stop the depressing post and get some sleep. I'm tired and that's probably why I'm bummed. That and the fact that I have stuff I must get done yesterday!