Steroid to Heaven

It is amazing what a difference a couple of little white pills make. I saw my rhuematologist on Thursday and she put me on steroids for the next three weeks. Within 24 hours the swelling in my hands and pain in all my joints had radically begun to ease. I could actually bend my fingers again without feeling like they were encased in plastic. Most of my pain is gone, with only minor twinges. Even my neck is much better.

It was suggested by the surgeon's PA, whom I saw on Monday for a follow up to my previous visit, that I may have occipital neuralgia. There was talk of an ocipital block (a shot in the back of my head, where a bundle of nerves exit your skull on either side of your spine). It didn't sound appealing to me. However, I'm at a point that radical measure must be taken. It isn't off the table.

For the moment, I'm improving so I'll just go with that. I still have neck pain in certain positions but I'm able, thanks to the physical therapist, to help that with exercises. I fear the pain will be with me forever. Too much wrong in my neck to correct.

Work is worse than ever. I'm not able to do any of my work. We're all doing the work of the admissions office. It won't matter soon because we will be two months behind as of July 1.

I'm sitting around trying to figure out what to do. I have turned in all my retirment paperwork and plan on giving my notice the last week of July. Originally my plan was to stay through August 15 but honestly, I don't want to stay. I'm angry they've put me in this position. I like my job, when I cna do my job. But they've piled on extra duties to the point I can't cope, and I have coped exceedingly well for 15 years, thank you and three different supervisors and 4 executive directors. So, this isn't me. My work load is unreasonable and the word is that this will continue till the end of the year.

The DIC (duffus in charge) says when my coworker retires in August he can give the remaining three case managers 500 cases each and that'll take care of the problem. The problem being a department that had 6 case managers when he started will be down to 3. He thinks he can get a couple of part time people to do the support work. That'd be good if he ever told the truth. The support people will be pulled off our roster and charged with doing duties for Admissions, inspections, and front desk duty. We'll get very little help if the past support staff was any indication. I never had help, ever, in the years I've been here to do my "second" job of landlord training, file set up and managing. So, no thank you.

But I'm scared to death. We're talking $1000 a month in lost income. Plus the medical benefits that will cost me an additionaly $250 a month to cover. So, anyone who thinks this is exciting has a twisted sense of humor. This won't be fun once it is done. I did the math this weekend. I'll be able to cover standard housing costs = house payment, lights, water, and gas out of the retirement from my job. From my widow's pension I will have to cover medical $250 mo.), food, house and car insurance, internet, and a phone. My house phone is through my internet. I'm thinking the cell phone will be gone. That's a luxury. I have a big concern about things that might break down or need repair to the house. There's no money for that and won't be. I'll need to find some kind of work. I was looking for jobs online and if I drove a truck I could start tomorrow. But that's pretty much it. None of the jobs pay much above minimum wage and are things I'll never get hired to do and probably couldn't do anyway with my physical issues.

Sooooo, aside from the depressing financial issues related to quitting my job, I feel functional.  The magic of steroids has kicked in. I'm hoping the short temper I had last time I took them doesn't appear but oh well. Fire me. I do believe the snarky symptom is in full swing.

"There's a feeling I get when I look to the west,

And my spirit is crying for leaving."

Stairway to Heaven, Led Zeppelin