I am still alive but yesterday I was so sick! I went back to my doctor again after lunch because of how I was feeling. It was just awful. However, she found nothing unusual. I told her it felt as if I had jello in my brain for about 2 hours.
So, more blood work. This time we're looking at possible diabetes. I'm insulin resistant. I've avoided the full blown disease up to now. I have no idea what happened yesterday but it felt like I was going to pass out as any minute. I had a bowl of grits for breakfast and toast. Delicious but very high carb content. For lunch I went home and had an egg sandwich. High fat and protein content even though there was the carbs in the bread. I had my sister come by and take my blood sugar count. It was 84! That's actually good. So.... after lunch, while I was at the doctor, I was a bit better. I wondered if my blood sugar had dropped too low.
She instructed me to get a massage because I have multiple trigger points, some I didn't even know until she pressed them. So, I get one tomorrow after work. David, bless him, gave my back a very good rub down last night. He knows exactly how much pressure and where to take out the kinks. I still had terrible neck ache and headache yesterday. The doctor felt all the tight muscles in my back were contributing to it. I took too acetaminophen and after he worked on my back, neck and shoulders, it did feel much better. And today, not so sore. No real headache either.
I have no idea what I'm going to eat. She's taken me off any sweetener..... even artificial. Just water or natural unsweetened drinks such as tea or coffee. NO breads. NO milk. NO rice. NO potatoes. NO processed sandwich stuff. I'm to try and get rid of as many chemicals as possible. I'll probably have to go to the grocery every day to buy something fresh to eat.
I did another chapter of Hidden in the Mist. If you have a link you can go see. That monster is just a mess. I wish I could get enough energy to sit and just write it all out and be done. I went to bed around 10 last night but I dozed on the sofa for hours. Missed half of my show I was watching and had to rewind it. Anyway, I think I actually like this little bit I wrote... the writing not so much as just how it directs the story. I've been trying to teach Sam that the Outland situation is unjust and the reasons for that but in this scene Reece lets her make the point very nicely. Now to find out if she recognizes it.
Ok, post done. I'm still feeling wooly headed today. I would like to get past that. It seems impossible. Prayers would be appreciated.
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
Saturday, May 11, 2013
Dance of the Hausfrau
Today is a wet, gloomy, chilly day. The last three days have been wet but it usually warms up by noon. I don't expect the whole weekend to be any better. I'm not going to get flowers out again before the 1st of June it appears. I wanted to do it today but I just don't see how I can. Next Saturday, the 18th will start my vacation. I'll be in Florida for four or five days and back by Wednesday. So maybe I'll have time then to do them then. I am going to get them into the flats to germinate. I can leave them on the patio while I'm gone.
I thought Saturday would never get here. It felt like the longest week. However, I am glad to report that I am so much better than I was week ago and if I remember how I felt the first week of April, I'm not the same person. Lord have mercy, I never want that virus again.
When I woke up on Thursday, it was the first day I did not feel like I'd been hit by a truck in two months. When I came home on that evening I thought, I'll sit down and read and relax. I fixed supper for Dave and I and showered. When I finally sat down I read in the den for about a minute and passed out. It was around 6:30. That old couch I kept is the best sleep machine ever.
I woke up at 9:30 to a ringing phone. I sat up on the couch saying "Hello? Hello?" I thought Jerry was in the next room for some reason. Once I got my brain working I got up and got ready for bed. I was in bed by 10:30 and I think I went to sleep within a few minutes. I worked on Friday, still tired. When I got home I lay down again and napped for about 20 minutes but I sat up way too late last night so it didn't really matter I guess. I am hoping this is the end of it.
I have not had a lot of joint pain with the virus. I have had headaches and terrible neck pain. I quit taking the acyclovir, I think on Wednesday. I was really sick on Monday and had a headache all weekend. Something said, "Stop taking the antiviral." I thought about it and finally decided the voice in my head probably knew more than I did. So I stopped. Headache went away and neck pain got better. And by Thursday, I almost felt what passes for normal for me.
My house is so dirty. I've been sick for two months and things are really in a bad way. It will take me weeks to clean it and I suspect the last few days of my vacation will be spent here, trying to clean it up before I go back to work.
Now, I'm going to have to get dressed and wade into the mess. I really need a cleaning lady. Haven't found anyone yet. First I need to get ride of a lot of junk. But I won't get it done sitting here. I'll see how long I can hold out before I have to stop.
I thought Saturday would never get here. It felt like the longest week. However, I am glad to report that I am so much better than I was week ago and if I remember how I felt the first week of April, I'm not the same person. Lord have mercy, I never want that virus again.
When I woke up on Thursday, it was the first day I did not feel like I'd been hit by a truck in two months. When I came home on that evening I thought, I'll sit down and read and relax. I fixed supper for Dave and I and showered. When I finally sat down I read in the den for about a minute and passed out. It was around 6:30. That old couch I kept is the best sleep machine ever.
I woke up at 9:30 to a ringing phone. I sat up on the couch saying "Hello? Hello?" I thought Jerry was in the next room for some reason. Once I got my brain working I got up and got ready for bed. I was in bed by 10:30 and I think I went to sleep within a few minutes. I worked on Friday, still tired. When I got home I lay down again and napped for about 20 minutes but I sat up way too late last night so it didn't really matter I guess. I am hoping this is the end of it.
I have not had a lot of joint pain with the virus. I have had headaches and terrible neck pain. I quit taking the acyclovir, I think on Wednesday. I was really sick on Monday and had a headache all weekend. Something said, "Stop taking the antiviral." I thought about it and finally decided the voice in my head probably knew more than I did. So I stopped. Headache went away and neck pain got better. And by Thursday, I almost felt what passes for normal for me.
My house is so dirty. I've been sick for two months and things are really in a bad way. It will take me weeks to clean it and I suspect the last few days of my vacation will be spent here, trying to clean it up before I go back to work.
Now, I'm going to have to get dressed and wade into the mess. I really need a cleaning lady. Haven't found anyone yet. First I need to get ride of a lot of junk. But I won't get it done sitting here. I'll see how long I can hold out before I have to stop.
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
Monday, May 6, 2013
Still Alive In Indiana
I just realized that it has been a little bit since I posted anything here. I've been busy. Well, no... I've been sick and busy when I've been able to be busy. I can't seem to shake this virus, although, I am not nearly as bad as I was in March and April. Compared to April 3rd, I'm probably 90% better.
It occurs to me that I've probably been dealing with it since February. I think that it was just after President's Day, when I was dealing with that rash on my ankles, that shortly after I began to experience the problems with the extreme exhaustion around the first of March. I checked my blog and it seems to be the first of March exactly. Now, this is nearly the middle of May. I was sickest from the middle of March until the middle of April. I went to the doctor on April 4th and got medicine, whereupon I began to improve. It it not happening fast enough for me.
I made a mistake of saying, "if you have never had mono, you have no clue", to a woman I work with who knows everything. Of course she knew all about it because her son had it. I said, "I got news for you. Unless you have had it, you don't even come close to understanding." She proceeded to argue with me! Finally, since she's basically a dishonest person, even to herself, who fails to recognize her ignorance on a plethora of subjects, she walked off in a huff. I could hear her telling the story to another coworker around the corner in that whiny voice she uses most of the time, since most of the time she's in a snit about someone making her feel stupid. Since I was very sick at the time, I didn't really care. And I find, as I have felt slightly better, that I still don't care.
You can tell I'm not being so nice these days. I've come to realize that most people take advantage of me in one way or another. I must look like schmuck or there is the general idea that because I'm usually compassionate, kind and will give you the shirt off my back that this means I can be told what to do, how to do it and when to do it by every person who knows me even a little bit. Being as sick as I have been has sort of shone a light on some things. You find yourself alone more when you need help than you do when someone else needs help. If you want money, just give me a sob story. If you want a ride, just give me a sob story. If you want me to sew, cook, or do some other task for you, just give me a sob story. Why has it taken me most of my life to recognize this? And why is it the hardest habit to break? Why not just tell people to take a hike? I'm apparently hardwired to be nice in virtually every situation. And when I do get vocal... God forbid that the other parties have to deal with that. There has to be a book somewhere titled, When Nice People Get Ugly. Suddenly, I don't care. It is almost funny. I'm learning to cut my losses.
I just finished that crazy shawl and I'm rather disappointed in it. It is lovely but really not practical. Very decorative. It would be lovely worn with something yellow. I think, if I make another, and it is so pretty that I probably will, I will make an adjustment to the pattern. I sat down and figured it out. I did run short of yarn and could not finish the last row and no one will actually know unless I tell them. I am going to give this one as a gift. I had planned to do that but didn't really know who at the time. Well, I can't keep everything I make! It would be disaster. And I know someone who will love it. I'm finding crocheting for others is a lot more fun that doing it for me. So, buy me yarn and you might get a gift.
I'm planning my next project. I think it will be a ripple throw in a rainbow of colors. I'm also still working on the squares for Sarah's spread. I don't know when I'll have it finished as I get bored with it and move to something else. I am going to make her some new sweaters over the summer so she will be able to wear them in the winter.
In other news, I've written nothing but a blog here and there. I did start a story intro that simply dried up once I wrote it down. No idea. It just goes in the pile for any possible future use. My crystal ball shows no future in writing so it is doubtful anything will come of it. I've pulled out of virtually all writing pursuits. I find it is another case of "I just don't care". {shrug} The only thing I have left is the local group that is tied to NaNo. I am, after all, the local ML. I'll know more how that it going to play out closer to November. I like meeting with them so I'll continue to do so once I'm over this cursed bug.
My vacation starts next Saturday. I truly need it. I'm leaving for Florida on Saturday I think. I'll be back in about four or five days. I plan on finding a beach somewhere. I'm taking a bottle of tanning lotion, a basket of food, and towels. And my Kindle. That's the plan. I think we do the canoe trip on Monday. I hope for lovely weather. I love that canoe trip. Generally, the creek, is not wrapped up with tourist this time of year and I hope that holds true for this trip.
I must go now. I need to find another crochet project to keep me occupied for a few weeks. I find it is the one thing that keeps my mind centered and I don't have to think to terribly much. You just read the directions for your row, do it, and read the next row of directions, do that, until you're done. I was so sick a few night that I ended up ripping out 5 rows and then had to go back and rip out two a few nights later. That just annoys me to death. Still, I had to do it. It really is a pretty shawl so worth the trouble.
Enough for now. This is a totally useless post. Filled with very little of worth. I figured I should just come out and let those who bother know that I'm still here. Maybe, just maybe I can regroup once I get past this mess and start really posting something worthwhile.
Or not.
It occurs to me that I've probably been dealing with it since February. I think that it was just after President's Day, when I was dealing with that rash on my ankles, that shortly after I began to experience the problems with the extreme exhaustion around the first of March. I checked my blog and it seems to be the first of March exactly. Now, this is nearly the middle of May. I was sickest from the middle of March until the middle of April. I went to the doctor on April 4th and got medicine, whereupon I began to improve. It it not happening fast enough for me.
I made a mistake of saying, "if you have never had mono, you have no clue", to a woman I work with who knows everything. Of course she knew all about it because her son had it. I said, "I got news for you. Unless you have had it, you don't even come close to understanding." She proceeded to argue with me! Finally, since she's basically a dishonest person, even to herself, who fails to recognize her ignorance on a plethora of subjects, she walked off in a huff. I could hear her telling the story to another coworker around the corner in that whiny voice she uses most of the time, since most of the time she's in a snit about someone making her feel stupid. Since I was very sick at the time, I didn't really care. And I find, as I have felt slightly better, that I still don't care.
You can tell I'm not being so nice these days. I've come to realize that most people take advantage of me in one way or another. I must look like schmuck or there is the general idea that because I'm usually compassionate, kind and will give you the shirt off my back that this means I can be told what to do, how to do it and when to do it by every person who knows me even a little bit. Being as sick as I have been has sort of shone a light on some things. You find yourself alone more when you need help than you do when someone else needs help. If you want money, just give me a sob story. If you want a ride, just give me a sob story. If you want me to sew, cook, or do some other task for you, just give me a sob story. Why has it taken me most of my life to recognize this? And why is it the hardest habit to break? Why not just tell people to take a hike? I'm apparently hardwired to be nice in virtually every situation. And when I do get vocal... God forbid that the other parties have to deal with that. There has to be a book somewhere titled, When Nice People Get Ugly. Suddenly, I don't care. It is almost funny. I'm learning to cut my losses.
I just finished that crazy shawl and I'm rather disappointed in it. It is lovely but really not practical. Very decorative. It would be lovely worn with something yellow. I think, if I make another, and it is so pretty that I probably will, I will make an adjustment to the pattern. I sat down and figured it out. I did run short of yarn and could not finish the last row and no one will actually know unless I tell them. I am going to give this one as a gift. I had planned to do that but didn't really know who at the time. Well, I can't keep everything I make! It would be disaster. And I know someone who will love it. I'm finding crocheting for others is a lot more fun that doing it for me. So, buy me yarn and you might get a gift.
I'm planning my next project. I think it will be a ripple throw in a rainbow of colors. I'm also still working on the squares for Sarah's spread. I don't know when I'll have it finished as I get bored with it and move to something else. I am going to make her some new sweaters over the summer so she will be able to wear them in the winter.
In other news, I've written nothing but a blog here and there. I did start a story intro that simply dried up once I wrote it down. No idea. It just goes in the pile for any possible future use. My crystal ball shows no future in writing so it is doubtful anything will come of it. I've pulled out of virtually all writing pursuits. I find it is another case of "I just don't care". {shrug} The only thing I have left is the local group that is tied to NaNo. I am, after all, the local ML. I'll know more how that it going to play out closer to November. I like meeting with them so I'll continue to do so once I'm over this cursed bug.
My vacation starts next Saturday. I truly need it. I'm leaving for Florida on Saturday I think. I'll be back in about four or five days. I plan on finding a beach somewhere. I'm taking a bottle of tanning lotion, a basket of food, and towels. And my Kindle. That's the plan. I think we do the canoe trip on Monday. I hope for lovely weather. I love that canoe trip. Generally, the creek, is not wrapped up with tourist this time of year and I hope that holds true for this trip.
I must go now. I need to find another crochet project to keep me occupied for a few weeks. I find it is the one thing that keeps my mind centered and I don't have to think to terribly much. You just read the directions for your row, do it, and read the next row of directions, do that, until you're done. I was so sick a few night that I ended up ripping out 5 rows and then had to go back and rip out two a few nights later. That just annoys me to death. Still, I had to do it. It really is a pretty shawl so worth the trouble.
Enough for now. This is a totally useless post. Filled with very little of worth. I figured I should just come out and let those who bother know that I'm still here. Maybe, just maybe I can regroup once I get past this mess and start really posting something worthwhile.
Or not.
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
More Wasted Days
I had about two good days after I saw my doctor and it has been mostly downhill since. I'm so tired and today I've had a headache all day. I am taking my second Imitrex now and hope that will get rid of it. I came home as tired as if I'd worked for two days with no break. The only bright spot is I may have defeated the sinus infection.
I don't know when it became such a chore just to put one foot in front of the other. I can't remember. I don't want to do anything. Even sleep is not good. I wake up as tired as I was when I went to bed. I'm tired of it. I just want to sit down and never have to get up again.
I go back to the doctor the last week of the month. I'm supposed to go on vacation beginning the 18th. I don't know if I will be able to go anywhere. I can't see sitting in the car for 12 hours feeling like this. It just isn't worth it.
Days pass and I don't know what I've done. I don't accomplish anything. I've been working on a shawl for two weeks. Last night I had to pull out five rows of work. I only had about 4 rows left but I did something wrong and didn't realize it until I reached a place that simply did work right. I had to back track visually and figure out what went wrong, rip it out and now I'm working on putting it back right. Normally, it wouldn't be a big deal but it is now. I don't have time to waste repeating work. What brief moments I have of clarity and strength I have to use for what must be done. I can't waste time on hobbies.
I looked at the yard and found a whole section that wasn't cut. So, now people want to cut the yard but only what they don't have to get off the mower to cut. I'll have to be the one pushing the old mower and using the weed trimmer for the places the rider doesn't reach, I suppose? This is ridiculous. Where did the real men of the world go and how did I end up with a bunch wimps? I'm embarrassed to say these people are related to me. I refuse to call them men. I've had nothing but trouble over the yard for years. They are the laziest human beings I've ever seen.
Enough whine. Another waste of time.
I don't know when it became such a chore just to put one foot in front of the other. I can't remember. I don't want to do anything. Even sleep is not good. I wake up as tired as I was when I went to bed. I'm tired of it. I just want to sit down and never have to get up again.
I go back to the doctor the last week of the month. I'm supposed to go on vacation beginning the 18th. I don't know if I will be able to go anywhere. I can't see sitting in the car for 12 hours feeling like this. It just isn't worth it.
Days pass and I don't know what I've done. I don't accomplish anything. I've been working on a shawl for two weeks. Last night I had to pull out five rows of work. I only had about 4 rows left but I did something wrong and didn't realize it until I reached a place that simply did work right. I had to back track visually and figure out what went wrong, rip it out and now I'm working on putting it back right. Normally, it wouldn't be a big deal but it is now. I don't have time to waste repeating work. What brief moments I have of clarity and strength I have to use for what must be done. I can't waste time on hobbies.
I looked at the yard and found a whole section that wasn't cut. So, now people want to cut the yard but only what they don't have to get off the mower to cut. I'll have to be the one pushing the old mower and using the weed trimmer for the places the rider doesn't reach, I suppose? This is ridiculous. Where did the real men of the world go and how did I end up with a bunch wimps? I'm embarrassed to say these people are related to me. I refuse to call them men. I've had nothing but trouble over the yard for years. They are the laziest human beings I've ever seen.
Enough whine. Another waste of time.
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