A Lot Like Work

Retirement isn't what I thought it would be. It feels just like work. I just spent the morning at my desk sorting out CHAMPVA paperwork, filling out Cobra forms, my job exit interview, my physical therapy exit evaluation, reconciling the bank statements, and trying to sort out a new problem. My primary care doctor is closing her practice due to ill health.

I've got everything done but that. I have no idea who to call since my insurance probably won't be up and running for 45 days. Yes.... any meds I'll have to pay for up front but they will probably reimburse me for most of it. And some of them are free. My real problem is with the ones that aren't. I have no idea of cost because I've been blessed with none for so long.

Once the bank statement was reconciled, I realized just how much I'm going to feel the pinch. I have one big trip for the first week of September but after that, there'll be no going anywhere but to church and back. I've got to go to the employment office but frankly, from what I'm seeing, it may not matter. I keep getting notices from Monster.com about jobs but they're ridiculously unsuitable. And most want full time. I'm not up to that yet. I might get there but not for a bit. I'm leery of substituting... I'd like it but with the immuno-suppressors I'm taking a huge risk of picking up something really bad. I've no wish to repeat the last two winters.

I've managed to get a lot of the paperwork done. That leaves me free to start cleaning house. Oh the joy. Everything is really a mess. I want to get rid of a bunch of stuff but sorting will not be fun because I always renege on it. I'll put it in the toss pile and then keep going back and rethinking it. I have furniture that I need to get rid of too. I'd love to give David and Felicia a couple of things but getting that stuff to Arkansas is a problem. They don't have a truck and neither do I. Shipping would be more than the value of the items. She could use the huge bookcase and the desk would be perfect in Sarah's room there. I suppose she could use it anywhere but it will be Sarah's desk someday. It was Mike's desk. David had one and I gave it to him and Becca and it disappeared. His was a double pedestal and Mike's is a single. I used Mikes for a couple of decades as a sewing desk. I have a better one now and don't really need that one.

I'm going to sit down sometime in the next week and work out some schedules for myself. I can see time getting away from me. I want to plan writing time and sewing time. I have tons of stuff I need to sew. I have crochet, too, I want to finish. First, the house has to be sorted. In about a month, Mike and I have to scrape and paint the windows on the outside. It has to be done and I have to get new storm windows. That comes out of my savings. I suppose I could try and salvage the old ones but they are so difficult to open and close.

I'm having a real problem with my sciatica. Shooting pains from my lower back, down my leg and into my foot, with cramps all the way down. Not comfortable sitting at all. I'm using that CVS Leg Cramp pills. I've used them for several years now and they're wonderful. I've just not had a spell with it this bad in a very long time. So far, today, they're no working.

My neck pain has been better since I used the doxepin several night. I suspect this particular pain is fibromyalgia. It wouldn't respond to the doxepin so well if it were joint pain. This is neurological. I will see my rhuematologist at the end of the month and discuss it with her. When I take doxepin regularly I have less problems with that kind of pain. This is because of serotonin. Serotonin helps with pain but too much can cause severe problems, too. I have no doubt she'll just prescribe another anti-depressant. I'm going to take it every other day or so as the pain requires and see how it goes. I just can't take it every day.

And now I'm off. I've got to do something to stop my butt from hurting! Yes, my butt. From the lower back, across the right buttocks, down the right leg to my ankle is hurting something fierce. Will catch up later.