Good Morning, Saturday!

You look marvelous! It is lovely out my window. The sunshine woke me and she's such beautiful girl. It is a chilly 63 out there so I won't go out for a bit.

I woke up at 8:30 and got a nice hot cup of joe. I'm sitting in the middle of my bed writing challenges and this blog. My church has a Labor Day picnic on Monday and I may go to that. Mike and I will, anyway. I don't know if anyone else will but we decided to go for the food. LOL.

I realized last night that my Writing Challenge blog on blogspot has 1 follower! I was surprised and thrilled. LOL, silly huh? I don't know the person but they had several writing blogs they are members of and mine was one. Lately, I've not been doing challenges because my head wasn't cooperating. But I think I'll work on some more this weekend.

I have one week to finish my outline. I think I will be done but it has been really difficult. If I could have outlined without reading the whole story,I'd be done but I have to read it to know what is going one so I can summarize it. This is why you are supposed to outline before you write. LOL.

I'm deleting my Facebook account today. If I am on your Facebook it is not personal. I have some members that just insist on bickering and carrying on I'm really tired of it. It depresses me that these people continue to publicly air their opinions thinking that the rest of the world cares that they are mean and petty. Were I reviewing some of the sites for potential employees, I'd be put off from hiring people who can't get along in public and think free speech means mouthing off all the time regardless of what others think. I don't get that at all. It gets depressing.

I told one of my children this week that kind of behavior is why I have a very small circle of family contacts and friends. I simply don't like negative people around me.I don't want to talk to them. I don't want to read every boring detail of their life and their silly arguments. These people who repeatedly use the media to say things that they don't have the nerve to call and say on the phone or to someone's face.

I sure don't want people to see I know such people. Blogs are for venting and you chose who sees and you tend to make a point... even if it is that your are just crazy. Facebook is not a blog. And my idea of social networking is shaking hands and smiling, trying to make the best impression I can. Not tell the world I'm a fool who gets in a snit over every little thing. Well, you guys know I do but this is what the blog is. It also gets boring reading about the hours people have spent playing a game. Page after page of it! Do I care?

Oh! And the Facebook Christian! Oh, I love those. Misquoting scripture to suit an ignorant attitude. People who never open the Bible should NOT quote what they THINK the Bible says. They just expose how profoundly stupid they are to a billion people! Isn't that fun! And those who do know quote only that special part that proves they are right! But then they go make nasty comments to people, exposing that they are also mean and nasty!

Then there is the FPF - Facebook Pseudo Friend. Those are the ones who say "Let's keep in touch. Add me!" And you never hear from them again. . . except when they post they've played games for six days straight and have the highest score in the world. Or when they talk to other people but never respond to your greetings.

O.k. this has become a rant. I'm going and cast out that demon Facebook! I truly believe it is a negative place. Might be fine if only your relatives are on there and you get along and keep in contact. But some of the mean and nasty people on mine ARE relatives! It is why I live three states away!

I found out yesterday that Mike has broken up with Connie. I'm very sorry for him. He really liked her and I think she liked him. He simply can't reconcile their differences in faith. She likes to go to bars and clubs to dance and she smokes and drinks. And she wouldn't go to church with him. He says he just can't deal with that. Don't get me wrong. Mike is NOT perfect. Far from it. He is... is desperately lonely. That isn't our lifestyle and he's smart enough to know that it would not be wise to mix in a marriage.

I went through a period last January when I thought I was going to do some stupid things. It was horrible but it let me have a bit of insight into Mike's mind. This kind of loneliness is terrible. No relief from the emptiness of your life. Waking up every morning and going to bed every night without the person you love. No special occasions to celebrate. I think it hit me because of the holidays. Mike has been living this for 4 years and in this area, we are very much alike. We loved being a couple with someone and our lives were meant to be lived like that. That was our purpose. We've both been dealt a bad hand. His ended in divorce and mine in death.

I'm trying to redraw the lines on the map. I have to learn to like this kind of solitude. It is not the same as solitude when you are married. Then, you always go back to that person because you want to be with them. Now, I have no choice. I can't come back from it. So, I try and do things by myself but it is hard. Most of the time I feel better staying home. No one bothers me here. (Read no one calls.) LOL. My aunt and uncle have spent lots of time trying to get me to get out and go places. They have in the past taken trips with their friends from Texas and just the two of them for years. This last year they have included me when things got very bad. They helped. But as you all know my first trip "alone" last month was a fiasco. I had this totally unrealistic idea of how it would be. It wasn't. In the first place, seeing new places alone is no fun. Secondly, car troubles in strange cities alone is even less fun. Yes, I'll have to try again because this . . . is . . . my life. I have no other.

I talked to Kat last night about trying to get together. She is waaaaaayyyyyy up in Chicago. It is over six hours for either of us to drive. I talked to Nancy, too. I think she's in Missouri... at least six hours. Nina is closer... about three hours. Who else? Oh, Cassandra in Illinois is about three hours. Grammy Blicktx... well, Texas is a bit of a jaunt but I've been wanting to go back there for a visit anyway.

I decided something else. Next year the Midwest Writer's Guild is hosting a weekend writing conference. I mentioned this before. I have about five writing friends on my list of contacts... maybe six. All of of you are invited to camp at my house if you want to attend! That is one year away. I'll post details as it progresses. Bring air mattresses, camp cots etc. I do have a couple of beds for anyone who can't do the air mattress thing. By then, the house won't be a total disaster of repairs. I hope to have a new tub in a couple of months. Just a thought. I'm serious. You just have to spring for your conference fees and meals.

The morning has progressed and it is now 66 degrees at 10 a.m. I'm going to get off here and go fix me something to eat. Mike said he is coming over. I am going to see if he will do some stuff outside for me. Sarah has not arrived, despite her projected arrival time of 9 a.m. I won't wait. Too much I need to do.

Labor Day holiday has gotten off to a lovely start. Hope everyone has a really lovely weekend.