Alterations

 Did you ever feel that every choice you ever made was terrible? If you had only changed one thing, your whole life would have altered course, and you'd be a completely different person, in a completely different place with completely different people. 

Yeah.

That's where I've been for nearly three months now. 

Who would I be if I had different parents? If we never made that move from the coast to their old hometown, where would I be? If I'd never gone to the parade, who would I have married? Would I have married at all? Would I have children? Would I have boys, girls, or both? If we never left our hometown, what would life had looked like? If we never joined the military, where would we be? Would he still be alive? Would I have gone to college? Would I care? 

One choice alters everything. 

Yeah.

I don't have any wise insights. 

The Greatest Invention

We consider the modern printing press the greatest invention of all time. It revolutionized the processing of written material for mass consumption. The printing press ensured all people would have access to the Word of God. This drove people to learn to read and write. With an educated populace, ideas and inventions grew from a thought to blue prints. The Enlightenment happened because someone created a machine to print ideas.

I had a great aunt that lived in the country on a farm in the Florida Panhandle. We used to visit on holidays or other special events. Our family reunion was always at her house around Thanksgiving and included at least100 people throughout the day, some of whom were ex-wives, step-children, neighbors and friends. It was an amazing event, and I loved it as a kid. We all did! When my aunt died, we were all saddened. No one could step into that gap. 

I know. I know. What does that have to do with a printing press? I'll tell you if you give me a second. 

We lived close enough to my aunt to drive over in a couple of hours, and that's usually what we did. I never remember spending a night at her house. Except once. I couldn't have been over 5 or 6. The sensation of being small remains. 

When it came time to prepare for bed, Mama told me it was time for a bath. We went to the bathroom, and she closed the door. When I turned around, I realized there was no bathtub. 

"Mama, how am I going to bathe? There's no bathtub."

She picked up a white porcelain pan trimmed with a red rim and said, "We're going to get a spit bath."

Now, I don't know if I said anything else. I don't know what expression was on my face. I can tell you that my recollection is sketchy but I distinctly recall a feeling of "Oh no we're not."

But we did, and my gaze kept going to where the tub should be. Right then I am pretty sure I was thinking the bathtub was the greatest invention of humanity. 

These days I prefer a shower. Every night when I get a shower I stand under the water and thank Jesus for hot water. Really. My aching bones, muscles, and joints revels at the thought of the streams of steaming water running over them.

Tonight I thought about this. I thought about the printing press and Aunt Minnie's bathtubless bathroom. And I realized they got it wrong.

The greatest invention of all time is the hot water heater. 

May Update

May arrived with showers instead of flowers. I hate this weather. I have nothing noteworthy to mention and to repeat a litany of my aches and pains will bore you. I'll spare you this month.

Plans for May:

•     Get back to the gym.
•     A trip to St. Louis Zoo may happen as well. Madi is coming to see me and we may run over there. 
•     Go South for a few days at least, maybe to Atlanta and then to the Gulf. 

Fingers crossed on that last one. I need some sun and some warm weather. I could also use some warm sand against my feet. 

I'm fairly disgusted with all my writing attempts. I've been unwell for most of 2020, and the start of 2021 does not bode well. I'm so tired of being sick, tired, and in pain. Bad enough to feel bad but the exhaustion that comes with autoimmune disease is simply miserable and hard to bear.

Mike has started his third week of employment with Amazon. I'm so proud of him for stepping out and doing this. If you have read this blog, you know he has some medical issues and some learning issues that make it hard for him to employ. And finding employers willing to work with his hearing problems and learning problems is very difficult. They usually just fire him rather than trying to work with his situation. This driving job seems to be designed for him. Prayers for him in this job. 

Sarah is in Ohio. I no longer get to see her unless I go there, but they have no place for us to stay and I can't afford hotel rooms. I get messages from her now and then, but that's all. I'm trying to ignore the intense pain it causes me. I thought it would be different that when she was in Arkansas, but it isn't. 

I have been doing the housework better. I found a video on YouTube that showed me an exercise for my lower back that really seems to help. It isn't a cure, but it helps lessen the pain. It also clarified for me, where the pain is located. My SI joints seem to be the problem =  sacroiliac joints.

I'm trying to watch my diet again. I lost 20 lbs last year before Covid lockdown. I gained it back plus. Going barefoot aggravated my plantar fascitis, so I now have to wear shoes constantly. But I can walk again. Another good reason to get back to the gym. 

For several months, I've been cleaning out rooms and closets, but I haven't gotten rid of nearly enough junk. I'm considering storming a room at a time and emptying it and then putting only necessary items back in it. I'll put everything in boxes and then decide what goes to charity or the dump. It would make it easier in the event I actually decide to sell the house. I keep thinking it is the best solution now. I have nothing left to hold me here.

That's May in a nutshell, I think. I am trying harder to come in and update this blog regularly. It seems I've lost my desire to write much of anything. I find life more pain than not and no one wants to be bombarded with reports of that all the time. 

If you're still a reader of this blog, thank you. And I'm sorry if you get tired of my whining. We all want to be heard, especially when we're in pain. When I look back over this blog, I see there has been a lot of pain. And loss. And I'm no hero. 

Have a good week and be blessed. While you're at it, bless someone else.

A Pie to Die For

From 1977 to 1979 we lived in Frankfurt, W. Germany (Now unified.) We visited a minister/military family named Shrum with some friends. It must have been some kind of special event, but I remember little but meeting them. 

Anyway, Sister Shrum gave me a pie recipe while I was there. I made it many times when we first came home to the states, and Jerry loved it. As with all things, I stopped making it and forgot about it. I have looked for that recipe for years with no success. 

This week, I searched through some letters from my time in Germany. I wondered if they contained anything of interest since I wrote home nearly daily during my pregnancy to close family members, but they were rather trivial. 

However, in all the trivia pregnancy stuff was a single gem: the recipe! I thought it would be fun to share it here. I don't know what happened to the Shrums. The military is like that, too. You make friends, move, and lose them. I tried to keep up with many of them, even have a letter or two in there to some others. No idea if I got answers.

So, here is the pie recipe. Warning: This pie is tart, sweet, and high calorie, but oh, so delicious!

1 graham cracker crust. (9 in)

1 can Eagle Brand sweet condensed milk

1 4 oz container of Cool Whip (don't think they make 4 oz anymore but you can measure)

1 6 oz can of Minute Maid Limeade, Lemonade, or Orange Juice.

Combine milk and one can of Minute Maid (any flavor you want) . 

Add Cool Whip and blend well by hand.

Pour into crust and chill until set firmly. 

That's it. The lemon and lime were my favorites. If you try it, come back and let me know how it turns out. I wondered how it would work with cream cheese, but I will not attempt it. I live alone and this pie would be the death of me.

#pie

#recipe

#minutemaidpie

April Came Smiling In

April arrived with much nicer weather, although she's a little fickle about it. Still, it is nice to have sunshine and warmer air. Today was almost too warm but I'll take it as it is. 
 

I haven’t got back to the gym. I planned to go back by May 1, but I want to go now. After the pain problems with my legs, I afraid to go too soon. Today, a walk around the yard to clean up trash from aliens, I struggled to do it. I dragged a trash bag around. It wasn’t heavy, but you’d have thought I was trudging uphill with a 50 pound pack. I couldn’t hardly walk the yard. It really is scary for me. I’m unsure what to do, and I don’t know what I’m going to do!

Sarah hasn’t been since her last dental appointment. I miss her so much, but I’m pretty sure she won’t visit unless she is at her Mom’s. It’s about choices. She calls once in a while, when she can be on her phone. And a text here and there. No photos, though. 

It’s been over a year since I saw my family in Georgia. As soon as I can, I’m going down for a visit. If that goes well, I’m going to Florida to see my family there. Don’t know where I’ll stay, but I have a tent and am not above borrowing a yard somewhere. 

Writing hasn’t been happening. I did eek out a bit here and there, but it feels as if my brain has just gone on holiday some place drab and boring. When I searched for some files on my computer a few weeks ago, I found that I have 5 unfinished novels about the same town and a family of sisters! I’ve spent some time since trying to put them in order time wise and writing here and there to finish them. Five! That’s just ridiculous. The trouble with NaNoWriMo is that you don’t finish one before it is time for the next one. I was in charge locally for nearly 10 years. This is the result. 

I can only hope I can finish them, but with my mind and body subject to this blinding fatigue, I have little hope. 

Oh, I went to church for the last two weeks! So exciting! I so missed it, and I can’t tell you how great it was to go back. 

I’m going to close out this post and see about food. I’m not sure what I want, but I need to eat something. I hope you’re all doing well. 

#prowritingaid

#april

#lifeontheledge