I'm depressed today. Not sure why. Lately, I've felt o.k. except for the pain but today, I am just down in the dumps. I didn't want to come to work today. When I went out to my car I had a memory of when I was a child going to school. I hated school and never wanted to go and I had this sensation this morning of being in that place and time again.
We didn't get Sarah yesterday either. When we went to pick her up she wouldn't leave her mother. Jerry is very upset. He never gets to see her anymore and he had his whole weekend off planned around having her. I guess I'm upset too. I hated to see him so upset about it but I can't fix it. He said he's not even going to try and get her anymore. He just can't take the disappointment.
They asked me to sing at church last night. I never sing much anymore and so I have this one song that a lady there likes and I sing it every time they ask me to sing. Well, why learn a new one when you don't ever sing? But I'm bored with it now. I used to love to sing and I sang in church a lot, in the choir and special songs but since I've been here I stopped singing. Mainly, they don't ask and I finally stopped being prepared. So, when they do call on me I am a bit frustrated. I almost said no but my training under a previous pastor held true. I probably don't sing more than four times a year now. Not enough to go to the bother of learning a new song.
Well, I know a lot of songs but I hate singing without practicing. I'm not that good a singer to start with! LOL. I can carry a tune most of the time but there are only certain styles that I do well with and I don't have a large range. I tend to be between an alto and a soprano ... is that a contra-alto? Don't know. I say I sing open letter style. Open your mouth and let her fly.
I stopped and did some work and then went to lunch with Mike.
I'm really depressed and don't even want to write about it. Crazy, huh? How many times do you remember that happening? LOL.
Actually, when I feel like this it means something is wrong or about to go wrong. I hate it. It's like a fire bell but you don't see any smoke so you don't know where it is. I don't know what I can do about it so, back to work with me. I may catch up later at home.
Monday, January 12, 2009
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Sundown
The day is winding down. Today is our wedding anniversary. Thirty-five years today. It has been a quiet day around here. Jerry and I went to church this morning and then, had lunch at Captain D's . That's fish for those not familiar with the seafood franchise. I had the fried clams and he had fish. We came home and sat around watching a movie we started last night but didn't finish. Footsteps with Candice Bergen. Really a good movie! It was on Hulu. I really like Hulu. When we were done with that one, we watch an old movie with Joseph Cotton called A Blue Print for Murder. Also a very good movie.
I went and had a short nap and just got ready for church. We are picking up Sarah tonight to take her with us. Not sure why but we are.It's very difficult to take her because I have to wrestle with her during the whole service and I'm not doing very well with the pain. THat means I'll be in more pain and won't get to enjoy service. This is all Jerry's idea and so, instead of sleeping during the service he can keep her occupied.
Do I sound annoyed? I guess I am. I spent all afternoon trying to get Jerry to take a nap and he sat and kept nodding off in the chair while this movie was on. Now I get to sit next to him while he gets his real sleep in church. I hate that. If you aren't going to listen to the minister why bother to go!
The other problem is that Sarah no longer understands what I expect of her at church. She hasn't been with me in nearly a year. I understand at her church her mother lets other people play with her and keep her during the service. I never let my children go from person to person in church and call me old fashioned if you want. Children should sit with their parents and behave. I always carried small toys and books for them to play with and we sat far enough apart so that they could play between Jerry and I. I never had a minute's trouble out of them and they grew up loving church and knowing that they had to be quiet. I've always belonged to shouting and singing church so noise wouldn't be noticed but I meant disruptive noise.
So, deep breath and get rid of the frustration. I'm not going to be a pain about it. I've gotten it out of my system and now I will just do what I have to do.
Sorry I have not written much this week but junk. I'm been missing writing the good stuff a lot. My pain was bad all week and I just sort of lay around. My vacation after vacation, I call it. The weather is just causing a lot of problems. A man in our church sits in front of us and he is so very nice. He has the same problem I have and he always ask how I've been doing and we laugh about our shared aches. Oh God! I'm an old lady. I talk about my aches and pains.
Well, I'm not old. I'm a young woman trapped in an aging shell and I can't get out. I keep telling people to let me out and they just shake their head and say I'm crazy to boot.
I went and had a short nap and just got ready for church. We are picking up Sarah tonight to take her with us. Not sure why but we are.It's very difficult to take her because I have to wrestle with her during the whole service and I'm not doing very well with the pain. THat means I'll be in more pain and won't get to enjoy service. This is all Jerry's idea and so, instead of sleeping during the service he can keep her occupied.
Do I sound annoyed? I guess I am. I spent all afternoon trying to get Jerry to take a nap and he sat and kept nodding off in the chair while this movie was on. Now I get to sit next to him while he gets his real sleep in church. I hate that. If you aren't going to listen to the minister why bother to go!
The other problem is that Sarah no longer understands what I expect of her at church. She hasn't been with me in nearly a year. I understand at her church her mother lets other people play with her and keep her during the service. I never let my children go from person to person in church and call me old fashioned if you want. Children should sit with their parents and behave. I always carried small toys and books for them to play with and we sat far enough apart so that they could play between Jerry and I. I never had a minute's trouble out of them and they grew up loving church and knowing that they had to be quiet. I've always belonged to shouting and singing church so noise wouldn't be noticed but I meant disruptive noise.
So, deep breath and get rid of the frustration. I'm not going to be a pain about it. I've gotten it out of my system and now I will just do what I have to do.
Sorry I have not written much this week but junk. I'm been missing writing the good stuff a lot. My pain was bad all week and I just sort of lay around. My vacation after vacation, I call it. The weather is just causing a lot of problems. A man in our church sits in front of us and he is so very nice. He has the same problem I have and he always ask how I've been doing and we laugh about our shared aches. Oh God! I'm an old lady. I talk about my aches and pains.
Well, I'm not old. I'm a young woman trapped in an aging shell and I can't get out. I keep telling people to let me out and they just shake their head and say I'm crazy to boot.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Much Ado... No, That's TO DO
I had plans to have Sarah today but apparently they stayed up all night so that isn't happening. Again.
I also planned to do some things round the house that begins shortly. I am rearranging my study and spare room. I'm spreading things out and organizing them. I want to get more functional space in the study and I want a sewing area. I've had no place to sew for several years and I miss it. I need a nice comfy chair, too, sit and read or watch a movie. I can do it in the living room but Jerry and I don't share the same tastes in television or movies. So, I can watch Lord of the Rings and Star Wars to my heart's content if I can get a nice place to sit.
I'm going through books too. I never toss books or even give them away if I l like them but I've decided that it is time to scale back some areas. I keep too much and my children will never share my interests. So, handing books down is silly. Maybe Sarah will one day want some of those that are special to me, but those days are far down the road.
It is so cold out and Jerry and I went out this morning to shop at some second hand stores. I was looking for something. Don't ask me what. It was "I'll know it when I see it" shopping. I picked up Mike a dish drainer and two glasses. I bought him some plastic ones when he moved so he would have something to drink out of but these were two pretty cobalt blue "glass" glasses. I hate drinking out of plastic and everyone needs the real thing. He doesn't have guest as far as I know so I don't know if it matters.
Well, I have to run and get busy. Mike is here doing his laundry and the television is blaring. I hope he gets done soon so the house will be silent! He's not doing anything but Mike is deaf in one ear so things have to be loud for him. A hearing aid won't help him because it is nerve deafness and can't be repaired or aided.
Have a good weekend and maybe I'll be back later with more profound words.
I also planned to do some things round the house that begins shortly. I am rearranging my study and spare room. I'm spreading things out and organizing them. I want to get more functional space in the study and I want a sewing area. I've had no place to sew for several years and I miss it. I need a nice comfy chair, too, sit and read or watch a movie. I can do it in the living room but Jerry and I don't share the same tastes in television or movies. So, I can watch Lord of the Rings and Star Wars to my heart's content if I can get a nice place to sit.
I'm going through books too. I never toss books or even give them away if I l like them but I've decided that it is time to scale back some areas. I keep too much and my children will never share my interests. So, handing books down is silly. Maybe Sarah will one day want some of those that are special to me, but those days are far down the road.
It is so cold out and Jerry and I went out this morning to shop at some second hand stores. I was looking for something. Don't ask me what. It was "I'll know it when I see it" shopping. I picked up Mike a dish drainer and two glasses. I bought him some plastic ones when he moved so he would have something to drink out of but these were two pretty cobalt blue "glass" glasses. I hate drinking out of plastic and everyone needs the real thing. He doesn't have guest as far as I know so I don't know if it matters.
Well, I have to run and get busy. Mike is here doing his laundry and the television is blaring. I hope he gets done soon so the house will be silent! He's not doing anything but Mike is deaf in one ear so things have to be loud for him. A hearing aid won't help him because it is nerve deafness and can't be repaired or aided.
Have a good weekend and maybe I'll be back later with more profound words.
Friday, January 9, 2009
The Importance of Correct Punctuation
I got this joke this morning but it is far more serious that usual. I truly can't reinforce enough how important it is to write correctly. This bears it out. And please, if you have a lack of education or ability, this is NOT targeted to you. It is a joke but one with a point.
I am aware that some people were not trained well and some not at all in communication skills. But you're never too old to learn. Writing is a good way to learn how to write and if you read and use good resources it is much easier than you think! You can actually learn to write by reading!
O.k. lecture over. Now the joke.
The Importance of Correct Punctuation
Dear John:
I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are
generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like you
admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me for
other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever
when we're apart. I can be forever happy--will you let me be
yours?
Gloria
Dear John:
I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are
generous, kind, thoughtful people, who are not like you.
Admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me. For
other men, I yearn. For you, I have no feelings whatsoever.
When we're apart, I can be forever happy. Will you let me
be?
Yours,
Gloria
--
Rate this funny at
http://www.gcfl.net/archive.php?funny=20090109
I am aware that some people were not trained well and some not at all in communication skills. But you're never too old to learn. Writing is a good way to learn how to write and if you read and use good resources it is much easier than you think! You can actually learn to write by reading!
O.k. lecture over. Now the joke.
The Importance of Correct Punctuation
Dear John:
I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are
generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like you
admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me for
other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever
when we're apart. I can be forever happy--will you let me be
yours?
Gloria
Dear John:
I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are
generous, kind, thoughtful people, who are not like you.
Admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me. For
other men, I yearn. For you, I have no feelings whatsoever.
When we're apart, I can be forever happy. Will you let me
be?
Yours,
Gloria
--
Rate this funny at
http://www.gcfl.net/archive.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Improving
Tomorrow is Friday and I can't wait. What a week! I'm better but I've been treading lightly with this neck and shoulder. Just lay on the couch propped strategically on a pillow.
I'm a bit depressed tonight and not going to post much. I just wanted to let you all know I'm a bit better. Thanks so much for the concern expressed by all of you.
No writing this week, I'm afraid, Alice. It was more than I could deal with after a day at work and the pain levels. I'm still having joint and tissue pain all over but the neck is much improved and shoulder is not so bad. If I can keep the migraine at bay I'll manage. I'm on my way to bed now.
Have a good week, what's left of it. Say a prayer for my friend, Lisa. She's going through a difficult time with her children right now. They're being juveniles and she's hurt by their actions.
I'm a bit depressed tonight and not going to post much. I just wanted to let you all know I'm a bit better. Thanks so much for the concern expressed by all of you.
No writing this week, I'm afraid, Alice. It was more than I could deal with after a day at work and the pain levels. I'm still having joint and tissue pain all over but the neck is much improved and shoulder is not so bad. If I can keep the migraine at bay I'll manage. I'm on my way to bed now.
Have a good week, what's left of it. Say a prayer for my friend, Lisa. She's going through a difficult time with her children right now. They're being juveniles and she's hurt by their actions.
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