A Busy Saturday

What a busy day I had today. I didn't get up as early as I wanted and so did not get to go walk. However, Sarah and I got up around 9 and we went to Willard Library to explore the "haunted" library. 

Early last week she went on a field trip and her reading buddy told her about the grey lady who is said to haunt the library. Sarah was terrified and went on and on about it. I assured her it was all just a story and not true and that Daddy and Uncle Mike had loved to go to Willard Library when they were small. 

After extensive discussion it was decided that another trip was in order just to prove there were no ghost and I suspect to see if I was brave. 

The trip went well with Sarah showing me around. Never mind I'd made numerous trip years ago. And it does have a lot of charm and lots of creaking wood floors and steps with displays already for Halloween.

 I quite enjoyed revisiting it, but the stairs, despite being wide and a relatively gentle slope, are simply a bit much for bad knees and bifocals. I forgot there was an elevator but after all the whole trip was to experience the extremely creaky floors and stairs. 

After the library we came home. I had a writer's meeting at 2 p.m. I had to get ready for and David was taking Sarah to the park. I left around 1 and picked up lunch to take with me to Washington Square Mall. Today was literacy day and there was a lot going on in the mall. Music, drums, and stories being read on one of the raised platforms that are scattered throughout the cafe court. I never realized they could remove the railing from these to make a kind of stage. 

The meeting was really a lot of fun. DeWayne brought photos this time and we each selected one and wrote a story from it. When I saw my photo I was a bit daunted and wondered what in the world I was going to do with it. It was just too weird. He told us we could select another if we didn't like the one we got but I decided to tough it out and go with it. We wrote for 20 minutes, despite the cacophony of the story telling and music blaring over the  loud speakers. And in the end, my photos was a good choice. I needed the challenge. In fact, I think everyone did a good job. I liked each of them. 

After the meeting, I cruised the remaining booths and got a free children's book from an elderly lady who'd written it. She's self published and she was very sweet. She indicated she had been unable to go the traditional route and had used a local publisher. I know the group she used. We talked about publishing a bit and the pros and cons. She felt traditional publishing was the best way to go. I told her I write because I have to. She was surprised and said she never had that sense that she was supposed to write or had to write. She never told me why she felt like writing several children's books! She was giving away copies of her first one and I read it to Sarah tonight. It was o.k. but I don't think I'd use the local publisher. 

I got home around 4:30 and was suddenly exhausted. I had planned to go walk since I'd missed my morning walk but it didn't happen. I simply found that all my steam was gone and this little engine couldn't. I've sat on the sofa watched movies. I've taken breaks to do laundry. I did a couple of items for the NaNo goodie bags but that's it. 

Now, I'm going to bed. I had planned on doing something else but I see how late it is and won't do that. I've posted the story if you're interested. Running Out of Time

The Hamster Wheel

It has been over a week since I could post a thing. I've been so busy I didn't know if I was coming or going. Work simply became this insane hamster wheel of work after we sent out the notice that if you aren't reporting you should withdraw from the program. People came in in droves and were reporting things they already reported. We're still catching people who never reported. The end result was that we were buried under mounds of interim changes and this in turned brought processing of annual recertifications to a screeching halt.

I had a rotten week last week because of the overload, got mad and had a set to with the boss which earned me a dressing down on Monday morning. I had to deal with some family issues... again. It probably helped with the boss because I was so emotional after the previous week and weekend that he was probably easier on me than he intended. And in one sense I probably deserved the lecture.

The week before was a mini-hell and I kept coming home to deal with things that I shouldn't have to deal with. I'm tied of people who think I owe them something. I'm not a maid, nanny, or personal banker. I shouldn't have to clean up anyone's mess or rescue anyone because they were irresponsible in their choices of friends, homes, jobs, relationships, and spending.

I grew up with no money, few friends, had people I relied on die early, and had to learn all these life lessons before I was 20. If I tell you something is a bad idea, I know what I'm talking about. I offer advice free of charge but if you elect to ignore it, deal with the results alone, please. I'm generous. If you don't believe me, let me show you my bank register and what I spend my money on. I'm happy to run the expense reports on various people and items and let you see it. It isn't me. So if I feel put upon when people are just to busy, tired, annoyed, or simply don't want to do things for me, I'm going to say so. If they tell me you don't won't to hear. I'm good with that. I have a blog. Those who don't like what I post, you should have listened when I tried to talk. It is my blog, my rant, and my I can say what I want, whether you like it or not is irrelevant. You can leave.

So, in those three paragraphs you have seven days of stress. The good news is that physically, I'm better than I've been in a long time. Almost no pain except the feet and legs and it is related to the walking. My hip is hurting tonight. I woke up with it hurting. I think I over taxed it walking yesterday. I didn't go tonight to give it a rest. I'll have to take something tonight to help. My lower back hurts as well. The two are probably connected.

I look forward to the walks. I discovered that a cemetery is a really good place to pray when you walk. Really. There's no one there when I'm there. I may run into a couple of people if I'm really close to 5 p.m. but for the most part, I have the place to myself. Some sections are so remote that you almost feel isolated. Traffic is far away, no people, you can't see houses. More and more I've found myself having conversations with God. Sometimes it is just a prayer of gratitude that I'm able to walk as much as I'm doing. I'm thankful for how little pain I've had since July and for finding a place where I feel removed from all the stress and chaos that surrounds me much of the time. There are times I'm reluctant to leave because the quiet is so addicting. I come home feeling much better that when I left, even if my feet are hurting.

I booked my rooms tonight in Austin for the conference I'm going to attend. Just have to book the flight next. I've never done anything like this for myself and it is very hard to do. I booked the conference a month ago but kept putting off the hotel and flight. It is so expensive, although I've got discounts all the way around. I'll book the flights this weekend.

NaNo is upon me, too. I have to get prepared for that. I'm working on the kickoff party. I think we'll have it at the mall where we have our writing meetings. There's plenty of room and there's pizza available as well as a cookie shop. Everyone can visit and have food if they want it. I have to order some things from the NaNo store like now. It is all moving a bit faster than usual I think. The kickoff will be the weekend after I get back from Texas.

Suddenly, I'm exhausted and have to go to bed. Probably from running on that hamster wheel.

Tomorrow is Thursday! Yay.

Just Remembered

I forgot something that I wanted to remember. As I was taking my walk today, I came up with an idea for NaNo. Yes, NaNo. Happens every November.

Anyway, I had an idea for a story. Just a start, nothing more. Probably a couple of pages of writing from it at this point. I've got to write down the idea or it will be gone. I'm surprised I've kept it this long. But that's a good sign, actually.

It is nearly midnight and I have to get to bed.

It Didn't

The day is drawing to a close and it has not been a good day. I got up around 8 a.m. and the day was blinding sunlit and the air was a comfortable 77 degrees. I had a terrible headache but I went to walk anyway, thinking that maybe the exercise would take the pain out of my neck and annihilate the headache.

It didn't.

Becca asked me to take her to work. So, I left the cemetery around 9:15 and stopped at McDonald's to get juice and a sausage biscuit. I thought since I'd had only a half cup of coffee maybe some food would help get rid of the still raging headache.

It didn't.

I took an Imetrix when I picked up Becca. After dropping her off I came home and got an ice pack. I lay down with the ice pack wrapped around my neck, along the left side of my head with the end of the towel wrap over my eyes. I thought after a hour it would ease off.

It didn't.

Sarah was with me and she lay there and played with  my hands for over an hour. She eventually went to do something on her own. I must have gone to sleep. I actually think she woke me several times but eventually I must have been too deep to hear her. I woke up at one and felt as if I'd been steamrolled. My head didn't hurt but I felt as if my brain was pumped full of fog and I was clumsy and kind of punch drunk.

At least the head didn't hurt.

Sarah and I went to the store to buy some fruit but that's pretty much all the action I've had since early morning. I've done nothing all day but sit, like a fungus on a log, doing nothing. I watched some movies, read a little, and finally decided to write a blog.

Well, I tried. Sarah is bored and can't entertain herself. I've never understood children who can't entertain themselves. If I'd relied on someone else to entertain me, I'd have been really bored.

Anyway, we came out here onto the patio. I haven't been out in months because the mosquitoes got really horrible and I started walking in July. So it was usually too late by the time I was done. Frankly, I'm still not feeling very well, just really sluggish and well, I always say a really bad migraine leave me with a hangover.

Dave and Sarah came out to join me and they played ball for a bit. She now wants to play chase.

You know, once again I realize that this lovely yard was meant for children. There are none now, and not likely to ever be anymore. This week I've been contemplating selling the house again. I don't know where I'd go. I really can't rent cheaper than what I pay here if I just count living expenses. But the repairs are what tip the scale. Once again I'm having plumbing problems and I am just not wanting to fork out the hundreds of dollars it would take just to get them to do the simplest of task. Frankly, we've always had minor plumbing problems here. Whoever added the extra bath and added the laundry room just didn't do something correct.

So, I keep pondering a sale.

I need to go in now. I put repellent on to keep the mosquitoes off.

It didn't.

It's the Tooth

I'm home today with back pain. And interestingly, a tooth ache that I didn't have until I ate. I think the filling has come out of a wisdom tooth.  I only have two of them and this is the top right one. The pain is not bad.... yet, but the reason I only have two wisdom teeth is that one went bad about 40 years ago and they had to pull both teeth on the left. It was a bad experience and I refused to allow them to pull the other two. Since the other two have never given me any trouble I don't think it was a bad choice.

I called the dentist last night and left a message and they called me back this morning. I have an appointment to see my dentist at 1:30 today. I have a trip in October and since I don't want to be out of town if something goes wrong with it, I'm not ignoring this mild pain.

On top of the back and tooth issue, I appear to have a chest cold. I was coughing a bit for a couple of weeks now and I'd begun to feel like I had something sitting in my chest. It was just a mild cough now and then. As of last Friday I began to cough a lot more and harder and that something seemed to get harder. I started a generic of Mucinex. As of today, I'm still coughing but now whatever was in my chest is breaking up. I hate it when that starts because the coughing then become much stronger and last longer. The lungs want the stuff that is now loose out.

I've been doing more cooking. Dave's job ran out and he's basically broke at the moment. Please pray for him to find some kind of work, at least for a few months. He's moving to Arkansas to get married but he needs to be able to pay his child support and provide for himself while he is here.

I don't want him to go. I can't even think how this is going to affect Sarah. I remember how it affected me as a child. In addition, I rely on him and Mike a lot and it will be much more difficult in a lot of ways. They do a lot of manual labor around here that I simply can't do anymore. Dave is my mover and builder. I can't afford to hire someone to do the things he does for me. More than that, I just don't want to have someone else leave. I know, grow up. Act my age. Kids leave. Yada, yada, yada. But generally, families live where there are other family members close by. I'm stuck 12 hours from any family other than my sons, sister and granddaughter. If they all up and decided to leave I'd be stuck here alone with virtually no friends that could help if I needed it. I suppose I could sell my house and try to go somewhere else but finding a job at my age is going to be virtually impossible. Thanks to your president, health care is even harder to get through employment now.

Ok, that's my whine today. Mustn't to drink too much of that. I have to drive. Pass the cheese.