How Far?

Sometimes Life on the Ledge is quiet and uneventful. Other times, the ledge crumbles and you have to move back in order to keep from falling. This month, the ledge has been moving and shaking a fair bit and I'm exhausted trying to stay on my feet and far enough back to avoid a fall. 

I won't go into too much detail lest you think I need mental health care. Maybe I do. Sometimes I wonder if that would help, but I don't believe so. I remember seeing a grief counselor after Jerry died. I saw him for over a year. He was kind and talking to him helped me get rid of the toxic things; I think. When we knew our time was up, I remember one of my last visits. I told him I knew he couldn't help me, that this was something I had to do on my own. No amount of talking was going to fix it. I could have talked until I too died, but it wouldn't bring Jerry back or heal my heart. 

There's always another heartbreak, another tragedy, another grief. There is no end to them. By the time you recover, another comes round the bend. 

I often wonder how much the human psyche can endure before it cracks. Sometimes I think I'm the guinea pig for that experiment. The trek from one disaster to the next is arduous. I might get to rest between them, but not really. 

Today, I'm so tired. I don't want to go another step. I can't go back and going forward is just too much.  

I Live for Excitement! Not.

  So, I wasn't feeling very well and decided it was time to take a shower, wash my hair, and just go to bed. That was my intention when I got in the shower. 

Things did not go as planned.

I have a nice standing rack in the back corner of my shower that holds soaps, shampoos, conditioners, back scrubbers, and I keep clothes pins to clip wash cloths on to prevent mildew and to dry after you shower. I suspect I've had this rack for 20+ yrs. It's been a convenient thing to have. 

Right until it collapsed, the pole snapping in half into the shower. All the things just tumbled around me and I'm holding this pole yelling, "Help! Help! Help!" 

I live alone, y'all. Well, with three cats, but they were nowhere to be seen. Any other time, Jet would be holding my hand. Not this time. Nope. I'm standing in the shower, the way I came into the world, holding the shower caddy with a broken pole, surrounded by various bath accessories, screaming for help. I love living dangerously. 

Eventually, I realized no one was coming, thankfully, and took a breath. I assessed the situation and realize the rational thing to do was get rid of the broken rack without getting cut on the rusted pole. It now lies on the bathroom floor. I rinsed my hair and got out of the shower. After I dried off and wrapped the wet hair, I cleaned up all the bottles, brushes, tossed things that were not good, and then I dressed. Well, there was no sense messing up my clothes. 

With an annoyed backward glance, I left the broken caddy on the bathroom floor till morning. Our encounter was traumatizing enough. I wasn't dealing with relocation tonight. 

Ultimate Outcome of Inevitable Change

Dallas, SD. 1936
Source: US Dept Agriculture - Public Domain

Mineral Wells is  a small town in Texas. They have an impending disaster. Their man-made lake is drying up at an astonishing rate. Faced with imminent disaster, they're talking about piping water from a bigger lake or shipping it in some way.  Mineral Wells Facing Water Shortage. 

Part of me thinks that's terrible but another part of me thinks this is simply nature doing what it has always done: changing the face of the planet and demographics. 

Historically, the face of the country changed every time there was a drought or other natural disaster. In fact, the face of the world changes in natural disasters. But in the United States, this is more current in our memories and history. Two hundred years ago, if the well, lake, creek, or river dried up, people packed up and moved, usually farther west. 

The Dust Bowl event created a huge relocation of people because everything dried up and was buried beneath blowing sand. The causes of the dust bowl even are pretty much the same ones causing this lake to dry up. Too little rain, over use of resources, and poor planning that upset the ecology of the region. 

In Hawaii right now, lava is devouring roads, yards, homes, and businesses incrementally. People have been forced to leave their homes and watch from a distance as they disappear. Other lakes in the US have also been in the news. California is constantly short of water. Texas has had several years of drought. 

The interesting thing about most natural disasters is that in most scenarios, once you remove people from the location, the environment recovers over time, usually in less than a lifetime. In fact, even the lava covered areas in Hawaii will eventually repopulate with flora and fauna and the nature of the soil will be such that it will be a thriving environment. Until the next time.

Laws of nature don't change. Droughts occur, lakes dry up, wildfires happen. Often our very presence actually increases the effects of the natural events. And now people can't move because they've set down roots. We've chained ourselves to a location in a way that doesn't allow recovery of the resources.

So, we see an even bigger drain on resources farther away because we pipe water from some other lake. Or we ship it from another region in tanks to where we need it. Or we use backhoes and bulldozers to move sand. Or we build towering buildings on former forested tracts. All further attaching us to an area that needs to recover. Modern technology provides us with a means to ease some of the effects without actually solving the problem. 

We've sunk money into land, houses, and businesses. We can't lock up, load the SUV and drive into the sunset. Not only because of the financial loss but because the number of places where disasters happen seem to have increased with the population. We're draining our resources. Excessive and unrestrained usage was never factored in by the Creator. 

In my honest and non-scientist opinion, I don't believe there is a solution to the shortage of natural resources. Natural disasters will continue to change the landscape because they are supposed to do that. Lakes dry up by drought and forest die by drought or fire. They are the means of rebirth. Ultimately, if these events are large enough in scope, nature will force a change in demographics. 

Change is inevitable and we either follow the course of change or we will be buried by it.