I decided to "offer advice" instead. Now, when I tell you you should do this, I tell you from personal experience. I either wish I had done or I have done each of these. But you're not going to take my advice anyway. You can leave when you don't want to hear it anymore.
1. Don't get married before you're old enough to vote. Yes, I did but don't do as I do, do as I say. I was young but I'd had a fairly rough life by age 17 and was a lot more mature than the average 17 year old. I know everyone says that but in this case it's true. I lucked out and married a guy who treated me like a queen. You might not be so lucky. So, just don't do it. You have plenty of time. There are a lot of things you need to do before you settle on one person. If it is the right person, you'll be married longer than you're single, so make those single years count and take your time.
2. Exercise religiously. Start as young as possible. And don't stop because you go to college, you have kids, or you go to work. They're the reasons you need to keep doing it. I exercised all my life... until I started college at 31. I had two children and a husband and a full class load for five years and by the time I was done, I had a BA in history and 30 extra pounds. Don't stop.
3. Eat healthy now. You'll pay for it later. In spades. You can dig a grave with those spades. Remember the Ace of Spades is called the death card? Now you know why.
4. Don't ever buy a new car. Really. It cost $30K and you drive it off the lot and it is now worth $25K. Buy a good used one and save the depreciation. Even major repairs are cheaper than a new car. Drive careful and insure it well.
5. In fact, don't ever buy new if used works just as well. Use appliances, furniture, clothes, toys, books. Anything. Save your money and waste nothing. You can travel on it later. Cause you're going to be in good shape from all that exercise and healthy eating, right?
6. Open a savings account and a Roth IRA NOW. Just do it. It is very important. You'll thank me in 20 years. Or at least write a memorial to me.
7. Travel whenever you get an opportunity. Use the money you saved on the car and from buying second hand. Or just take cheap day trips somewhere you can drive in a few hours. See new things, sit down and relax. You may never get another chance to see something new.
8. Buy a good tent and camping gear. Forget the campers. Tents are cheaper and if you're going to take the housework, you might as well stay home. Buy a good sleeping mat for the tent, preferably a firm, 4 inch pad. Your back will thank you. And when the world becomes a mad house, go to the forest for a week. Your spirit will thank you. And if the power goes out, there's an earthquake, or some other disaster you'll be equipped. You'll thank me then, too.
9. Learn to cook over an open fire. The food will be the best you ever ate. When you're done, sit beside the embers and stare into them. You stomach will be full and your soul will be warmed. And in the event of that natural disaster, you'll be equipped.
10. Learn to garden and grow your own food. It taste better and is healthier for you. You will need to know this at some point in your life.
11. Learn to sew buttons on, put in a hem, and repair a seam. Yes, even if you're a man. You'll always be able to mend your clothes instead of paying exorbitant fees to have it done. Besides, those skills can also be used to sew up open wounds in a disaster. Well, you've been wanting a zombie apocalypse. You might as well be prepared.
12. Keep a fully stocked emergency kit. No, not for a disaster, for the kids. But it is good you're thinking ahead. And the zombies,too, if you really believe that stuff.
13. Take photos, real ones, of people you love, smiling, laughing faces. Frame them and surround yourself with them. When the power goes out and those digital things don't work or life goes dark, you can take them down and hold them close.
14. Always tell the truth, even when it hurts. Lies hurt worse. Lay hold of the truth and hang on for dear life.
15. Never blame someone else for your mistakes. Sometime, somewhere, someone will blame you for theirs. You' won't like it.
16. Never abuse those you love. You may wake up tomorrow and they are not there... or you may not wake up. Either way, someone has to live with the memories. Make good ones. If you can't do that, leave. Better yet, don't get married or partner up and inflict you're stupidity anyone else. And if you're with someone like that, get out now. You can't fix them and it will only get worse.
18. Never let the sun go down on your wrath. Always, before you go to sleep, every night, make sure you clear any animosity, resentment, and anger from your heart and mind. They rot overnight. Eventually, everyone will smell you. You'll smell yourself when everyone is gone.
19. Always be willing to apologize, even if you're not wrong. You're not apologizing for being wrong. You're apologizing for participating in a conflict where someone got hurt. Pride is useless when you are wrong and pointless if you're right.
20. Always accept defeat with grace and dignity. People will remember you far longer than they will the winner.
21. Attend church regularly. Pray regularly. Pay tithes and give offerings. Count your blessings. You can't out give God. And if you don't forget Him, He sure won't forget you.
22. You get out of life as much as you put in. Put all you have into it. If you do it right, a six foot hole won't be able to contain it.
There's probably more but this will do. Maybe I'll do another one someday. Or maybe you will.