Saturday. . . meh

I woke to gray skies and a distinct chill. I have had the heat off for several days and actually had to turn on the air for one because working in the house got so stuffy! Today, the heat came back on. Don't need much, just enough to get it to 69F degrees in here. It is 55F outside right now and windy. So wind chill will make if feel colder.

I finished paying the bills. I hate paying bills and found a couple I'd forgotten. That makes it frustrating on a budget. I also did two statements for Feb and Mar.because I forgot to do Feb. As I recall there were some difficult days around the time the statement came out and I am not surprised I overlooked it. But I could have sworn. . . but I didn't. So, did two in two days. Not good either.

On that Feb one I was missing several entries in my check book and that always annoys me and scares me. Fortunately, I had put some money back and it was covered with no problem but in the past that was what caused all manner of stress for us. Jerry forgetting to put things in the register. That last six months we were overdrawn every month. I was going crazy with it. I knew then something was wrong but still never saw it right. Not until December did I get it fixed and I will never forget his face when I said, "We're going to be all right. If you will let me take care of it from now on we might even be able to take a nice vacation by the summer." He looked so relieved, as if a great weight was lifted and his face cleared of this. . . terrible expression I had not even noticed. He was dead in a month.

Ok, that's not good. I'm going now. It has been like this all weekend and I just can't do it right now. I've handled stuff that I've avoided handling for a year and it has been just terrible. But it has to be done and there is no one else. And I'm not done. There is still a lot to get sorted.

I'm a bit tired but actually the only thing hurting is my shoulder and a small pain in my neck. I put Valtoren on it last night to see if it helped. I'm putting more on in in a minute. I want to experiment with that. If the arthritis in my neck is the culprit for the pain, I do not know what the solution will be. That can't be fixed. I suddenly occurred to me after Lisa worked on it. I was tons better for two days and then this small pain in the back of my neck began. It was the first time I was not hurting so much I couldn't locate it. So, lab experiment over the weekend. If it is that, I'm guessing a couple of days of that cream may tell me for sure. If it doesn't hurt....

Have a great weekend. I was hoping to dye eggs today but everyone is in bed I guess. Life is short. It is passing by. I'm so glad I did not miss the times with my children growing up.. We got into so much stuff together. Parks, museums, camping, walking, riding bikes, playing games and getting out in the back yard or a playground. Sometimes I'd just take a book and let them play for hours. We took short drives to the country and explored trails and parks together. Just walking and laughing. The boys loved hiking in the woods with us, at least they seemed to do so. I would sit in my den and sew while they played outdoors where I could watch them. I had such good boys and I loved being with them. I guess I miss that too. It all ends somewhere, doesn't it.

Logging off now. Have a great weekend.