For some reason I am at a place where it seems the road has ended and I have no where to turn. And I just drive around in circles. I can't explain it better than that. Sunday night I went to church early so I could go to the prayer room. Sometimes, often in fact, prayer is the only thing that helps. It was one of those times when I felt like someone who has just wiped out on a motorcycle... you know, road rash of the soul. If I close my eye, I can visualize vast quantities of my inner self stripped of skin, bruised, scrapped, raw, and unable to pick myself up. And I want to scream in pain.
The trip to the prayer room did help. I did pray, for me and others but the strangest thing happened. I suddenly found myself praying, "Hide me." Yes, I was saying over and over, "Hide me." It was very strange but I realized it was what I wanted so much that it hurt. I just want to slip off somewhere and hide, put my head on a pillow and curl up in a warm, dark cave and feel that someone else was worrying about things outside. I wish it were that simple. Yes, I feel better but road rash takes a while to heal. And I still have to find the road.
I also suffered from a migarine that started on Saturday and lasted until Sunday afternoon. Believe it or not, a cup of coffee helped! I usually take Imitrex but unfortunately, at the moment, I am not able to pay the co-pay on it and so have nothing to take. Spring and fall are the worst times of the year for me in regard to migraines. I seem to get more during those times than any other.
I am a bit annoyed at myself, too. I have not been writing lately. I got back on that history board and totally derailed. I am also behind in sewing for Becca. I have several things cut out and ready to sew. Must get those done this week. She won't have any clothes if I don't.
Now it is Tuesday, and my post is a day late. I gotta get back in a groove! I hope this week is uneventful.
No comments:
Post a Comment
All comments are moderate because of increased SPAM.