Sunday, December 18, 2005

Christmas is Missing

Christmas is one week away. I don’t have my tree up yet. My sole concession to the season is a nice Christmas tablecloth and a lovely centerpiece that holds five candles, which I don’ t have. My aunt bought the candelabra for me when I admired it. We found it in a second hand shop that I simply love and from which I have bought dozens of home accessories. It came with a piece of greenery that the candles encircle. Last Christmas I bought some lovely Christmas flowers and some berries and stuck into the greenery. It has a gold net bow and the whole thing is very pretty.
Merry Christmas.

Yesterday I swept, vacuumed, dusted, moved furniture, washed clothes and dishes. I spent the whole day trying to clean up and get ready to put the tree up but by 5:00 p.m. I was so tired I could hardly move. So, I plan to put the tree up tomorrow night! I will! I want my tree up. I want to feel some kind of Christmas spirit.

I have still not mailed cards, although I have them out! No stamps. I should mail them I guess but payday is after the holiday.

Do you ever get the feeling that all this is a waste? That the whole reason has been lost? I don’t have small children at home anymore and something has changed. I used to enjoy the cooking of cookies, and cakes and decorating the house. I liked playing Christmas songs and hearing Alvin & the Chimpmunks sing about Christmas. I love Grandma Got Run Over by A Reindeer, and Silent Night, Away in a Manger, and We Three Kings. I love the song Feliz Navidad! I loved my special tree ornaments. Every year I buy a special unique ornament, but not this year. I like the feeling in the air when it is Christmas but this year there is none of that. I don’t know what happened.

Maybe Christmas never came this year. Maybe it won’t ever again.

Dixie Girl