A Lefthanded Day

It is amazing how much difference a tiny pill can make. The pain reached proportions I couldn't manage yesterday and something whispered in my ear, "Take an Imitrex." I paused, thought about it, and decided it couldn't hurt. I had to go pick up the prescription at the pharmacy but that's OK. I took one when I got back home, sat down in the recliner with my neck supported and spent the next few hours dozing and trying to watch Hercule Poirot. I woke around 4 and my neck wasn't hurting.

So, this is definately a migraine trigger point. Must remember to take the pill sooner. Take doxepin a few times a week.

I got up at 7:30 this morning... on purpose. I've had my vacation. I've lain around watching t.v. and reading and trying to deal with the pain. Nothing is getting done and I'm now bored. So, I set my clock last night and after my morning coffee, I went to the cemetery for my walk.

First, there was no yellow tape cordoning off the section where I saw the police yesterday. I was disappointed. In fact, the corner looked just as it usually did, still has that hanging branch that a vagrant could use as shelter.

I got half way around the park and realized that two miles is probably not going to happen for a few weeks. All the flareups I've had have left my hip and back in an unpredictable state. I'm not hurting as I was a week ago but the three times I've walked since I got home have shown me that I'm not going to be able to push myself. So, I've fallen back to one mile, more or less. I'm fine with it for now but I want to get my distance back up. I didn't even break a sweat out there today. Of course, the last two days are just lovely so, you have to work to sweat.

I came home, got out the weed trimmer and trimmed all around the house. Mike was going to come do it this weekend but I've got something else I want him to do and it will take him hours to do the trim work and he won't be much use after the fact. So, I've got it done all around the house and walkway. It looks good but I have to say Mike did a better job than me. And I cut down some flowers. Fortunately, they weren't that big a deal. They were Four O'clocks that just have been so stubborn to grown. I didn't create a bed for them, just dug a hole and put them in it. They've not grown well but they're on the south side of the porch, where nothing I have ever planted has grown for some reason. I don't know if it is the soil or what. I have decided to cover the are with a ground cover, put mulch or gravel on top of it and forget about it. It is just too much of a pain to deal with and you can't even get the lawn mower in that area.

Once I finished with the trimming, I was tired but surprisingly, nothing hurt. I've always found that certain activities, like rowing, actually make my shoulders and neck feel better. I have no way to get that same effect but using the trimmer seemed to mimic it a bit. Now, tomorrow... we'll see if I can even move.

I had no idea it was International Lefthanders Day. I'm a lefty and you'd think I'd know these things. I just don't keep up with it much. I mean... that's just how I write.

It has been a week of terrible loss. Robin Williams killed himself. Such a tragedy. As usual, the papers and blogs and television shows are all pumping it for all it is worth. I do hope someone remembers to point out the fact that depression is a murderer. It will kill its victim unless recognized and treated. I find it the ultimate tragedy that a man as public and well loved as Mr. Williams has become the victim of this disease. How sad he lost all hope. How sad that he hid behind his clown face so well.

The impact of Mr. Williams death totally eclipsed the death of Lauren Bacall. I had no idea, until a Facebook friend posted it, that she died yesterday. If you've ever seen To Have and Have Not, you'll know Bacall. If you haven't see Bogie and Bacall together, you really should.

Now, I've spent most of my afternoon doing nothing again. I did apply for a job through Manpower. It is 2-3 days a week, which is just what I want. So, we'll see. I'm probably over qualified but I can't help that. We shall see.

The Mystery in the Cemetary

I went for a walk this morning, around 9 a.m. The day is sunny and mild so it seemed like the right thing to do. I did not get in two miles. I barely got one mile. My hip and back were bothering me. I'm still having problems with my neck. I woke up with a headache and I think that was caused by dehydration. I promptly drank a couple of glasses of water.

As I said it was a beautiful morning to walk but as I finished my walk, the police were driving in to a corner of the cemetery, behind the lake. I didn't take this photo today but you can see the bunch of trees in that corner in the center of this photo. One of the trees has branches now hanging like a curtain, to the ground. The officer got out and went behind that. There was a city vehicle, an SUV, and a police car back there and there's no road in that area, just grass.

I have no idea what they found. Could have been a homeless person sleeping there but I think the three vehicles was overkill. Could have been a dead body. I guess I might not be the only person who sees the cemetery as a good place to dump a body? I'm very curious and I hung around a bit but I finally just got in the car and came home. I wish I'd stayed a bit longer. May ride over there and see what's transpired. If they've cleared out it was probably a derelict. If the cops have the site cordoned off... well, it could be interesting.

With my back and neck acting up I'm not able to do much of anything. I am going to go out and cut the yard I think. I can ride the mower to do that. Mike is working but I can handled the riding mower alone. I probably could do the trim work but I'm a bit scared to try. Using my shoulders and upper arms tends to aggravate the neck. However, I've reached a place where I'm "damned if I do and damned if I don't".

I have a lovely tomato  plant in my garden. It has had numerous tomatoes on it but I have not had a single one. Something is stealing them just before they get ripe. I think it is a squirrel. So, will not try that again. I mean out of nearly a dozen tomatoes, not one. I'm so angry about it. I'm ready to rip the thing out of the ground. You simply can't grow them in this neighborhood. Nothing keeps the vermin away. I've had no bugs of any kind, just pest. And the tomatoes are the only thing getting taken.

I do wish I could find some relief from this pain. I'm at the point of asking for pain killers. I've never been there before. I don't want to do that. I have problems at times remembering which pill I've taken;there are so many of them now. I use a minder but pain meds are a different thing.

Must go now. I need to get up and move around.

A Lot Like Work

Retirement isn't what I thought it would be. It feels just like work. I just spent the morning at my desk sorting out CHAMPVA paperwork, filling out Cobra forms, my job exit interview, my physical therapy exit evaluation, reconciling the bank statements, and trying to sort out a new problem. My primary care doctor is closing her practice due to ill health.

I've got everything done but that. I have no idea who to call since my insurance probably won't be up and running for 45 days. Yes.... any meds I'll have to pay for up front but they will probably reimburse me for most of it. And some of them are free. My real problem is with the ones that aren't. I have no idea of cost because I've been blessed with none for so long.

Once the bank statement was reconciled, I realized just how much I'm going to feel the pinch. I have one big trip for the first week of September but after that, there'll be no going anywhere but to church and back. I've got to go to the employment office but frankly, from what I'm seeing, it may not matter. I keep getting notices from Monster.com about jobs but they're ridiculously unsuitable. And most want full time. I'm not up to that yet. I might get there but not for a bit. I'm leery of substituting... I'd like it but with the immuno-suppressors I'm taking a huge risk of picking up something really bad. I've no wish to repeat the last two winters.

I've managed to get a lot of the paperwork done. That leaves me free to start cleaning house. Oh the joy. Everything is really a mess. I want to get rid of a bunch of stuff but sorting will not be fun because I always renege on it. I'll put it in the toss pile and then keep going back and rethinking it. I have furniture that I need to get rid of too. I'd love to give David and Felicia a couple of things but getting that stuff to Arkansas is a problem. They don't have a truck and neither do I. Shipping would be more than the value of the items. She could use the huge bookcase and the desk would be perfect in Sarah's room there. I suppose she could use it anywhere but it will be Sarah's desk someday. It was Mike's desk. David had one and I gave it to him and Becca and it disappeared. His was a double pedestal and Mike's is a single. I used Mikes for a couple of decades as a sewing desk. I have a better one now and don't really need that one.

I'm going to sit down sometime in the next week and work out some schedules for myself. I can see time getting away from me. I want to plan writing time and sewing time. I have tons of stuff I need to sew. I have crochet, too, I want to finish. First, the house has to be sorted. In about a month, Mike and I have to scrape and paint the windows on the outside. It has to be done and I have to get new storm windows. That comes out of my savings. I suppose I could try and salvage the old ones but they are so difficult to open and close.

I'm having a real problem with my sciatica. Shooting pains from my lower back, down my leg and into my foot, with cramps all the way down. Not comfortable sitting at all. I'm using that CVS Leg Cramp pills. I've used them for several years now and they're wonderful. I've just not had a spell with it this bad in a very long time. So far, today, they're no working.

My neck pain has been better since I used the doxepin several night. I suspect this particular pain is fibromyalgia. It wouldn't respond to the doxepin so well if it were joint pain. This is neurological. I will see my rhuematologist at the end of the month and discuss it with her. When I take doxepin regularly I have less problems with that kind of pain. This is because of serotonin. Serotonin helps with pain but too much can cause severe problems, too. I have no doubt she'll just prescribe another anti-depressant. I'm going to take it every other day or so as the pain requires and see how it goes. I just can't take it every day.

And now I'm off. I've got to do something to stop my butt from hurting! Yes, my butt. From the lower back, across the right buttocks, down the right leg to my ankle is hurting something fierce. Will catch up later.

Summer Vacation

I'm a week into retirement. Wow. Mike and I drove down to Mena, Arkansas to pick up Sarah. It was nice to visit David and his family but the drive nearly did me in. It is simply too far to travel with back and neck trouble without proper pain medicine. I was pretty bad by the time we got there. Tuesday was even worse. I could not sit anywhere. They have nice, big cushy furniture and under normal conditions a good book would have worked perfectly. Unfortunately, my back and neck problems have all but ended the days I can relax with a good book anywhere. I read but not as long and not as much. I simply can't hold my head in a reading position for very long without a price.

I spent Tuesday in a kitchen chair to take some of the pressure off but it was only a slight help. We had an early birthday party for Sarah with David's in-laws and church family. It was really nice and Sarah had a great time. After everyone left we played a Wii game.. Just Dancing. You had to do what the character on the screen was doing. Let me tell you, I learned a few things about my children. Hysterical videos resulted.

Wednesday David took us to dig for diamonds at Crater Diamond mine. That was fun but I got to tell you, that's too much work for a tiny rock that isn't worth anything. And I suspect it would take more than 15 minutes to learn to recognize what to look for. We found a lot of rocks... and I think we had a fairly good time. The kids would have liked the water park they had much better but we weren't prepared for that.

Later that afternoon, I mentioned getting a rocker for them so when I came down I could sit in that. Felicia suddenly remembered she had a rocker and pulled it out of the office for me. It is a nice rocker. One of those glider kind you see so much of now. But let me tell you, such a big improvement! Not perfect, because no chair is, but it was such a vast relief.

We attended their church for Wednesday service. I enjoyed that but I was really uncomfortable by the end. Bro. Wilson had prayed for me at Sarah's party and he prayed for me again at the end of the service. 

On Thursday, Dave took us to Runestone Park in Heavener Oklahoma. My neck was a bit better as long as I was standing up. I must say, this site was a bit more my kind of thing. I'd heard, in passing, of the runestone in my history studies but I had the impression of a moderate sized plaque in a glass case with people standing looking down at it. Not so. This thing is probably ten feet tall by ten feet wide and is actually part of the mountain. It juts upward from the ground int a point. The runes are bigger than my hand. It is encased in a cedar shed behind plexiglass but in such a way you can clearly see the carvings. The valley it sits in is lovely and I suspect in the spring time a very inviting place to visit. This day it was very humid and hot. The climb down had us breathing heavy. Beware of lots of stairs to climb but it is well worth it.

When shuffling things around in my bags on Wednesday I happened to find a single Doxepin. If you've read me for a long time, you know this is a pill originally prescribed for my migraine headaches. I no longer use it for that but I found it worked great for some of my pain problems over the years, mostly fibromyalgia related pain but it also helped with some of my RA pain. No, I didn't bring the bottle with me. I just found one pill. I debated trying it on Tuesday and Wednesday night but the trip back to Evansville loomed before me and I decided to wait...in misery until Thursday night. Thursday was a moderately miserable day but with David and Felicia at work I didn't really have to be sociable so I just sat in the rocker they pulled from a back room.

Thursday we did nothing. Everyone was working and it was just me, Mike, and Sarah at the house so it was a relatively quiet day. I got our stuff washed and packed and everything ready to go. We gassed up that evening and got ice and some fruit for the road and headed out.

Thanks to my Doxepin I got a good night's sleep and woke with far less pain than I've had in weeks. The neck was still not good but I could live with it. We were on the road by 8 a.m. and headed home. Sarah napped a bit but overall she was awake and really good. My right leg is the only problem I had later in the day. Sciatica kicked in from all the sitting. Legs cramps are not fun but I have pills to take for that too and they go everywhere with me.

We took several breaks for potty and to let me walk a bit. I didn't want to get home with the same problem I arrived with in Arkansas. For lunch, we stopped at the W. Memphis exit. Although Sarah had Taco Bell tacos she still needed a Burger King shake. Fortunately, they were side-by-side at the truck stop. Mike and I had burgers, although it wasn't my first choice, Arkansas, from Little Rock to Memphis, has nary a Cracker Barrel. I had no intention of going as far as the Memphis exit and we weren't waiting as long as Dyersburg.

We arrived back in Evansville around 7 p.m. and dropped Sarah off. Mike picked up his scooter and went home and I went around unpacking and putting things away. I noted that my floors were a mess and decided I had no desire to wake up to that. I vaccumed the floors, ate something and spent the evening laying around till late.

And that is my summer vacation and the first week of retirement. I am happy I got to see my son and his family. I simply don't want a repeat of the pain I experienced from the drive. I will never leave home without Doxepin again.

Runaway Train

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My week felt like a runaway train. From the start on Monday I was running flat out and didn't stop until sometime around the middle of the day on Friday. I wish I could tell you about it but it went so fast that I can only hit the highlights.

Most of my time was spent trying to get the August recertifications completed, which I did by Wednesday. We had move briefing on Wednesday and since it was my last one, I got to do the presentation. I love doing those anyway so it was fun. 

The four case managers, me, Carolyn, Stacey, and Penny went to lunch on Wednesday and on Thursday, Carolyn and I went with Dena (admissions clerk) and Valerie (inspection clerk). Thursday afternoon they threw us a retirement party. Carolyn's last day was Thursday and mine Friday but it was more efficient and economical to do one reception. It was really nice. I've detailed it on Facebook but for the non-FB'ers I'll review here.

The agency gave us a nice retirement send-off. It was Carolyn's last day and mine was Friday.  The first photos is of the girls I work with most closely. The tall older lady on the end is Martha, an inspector who retired several years ago, so nice of her to come. Next is Carolyn, Penny, me & Stacey. We're the case managers. Penny is the only one left of the original six case managers when I was hired. Stacy came in about 8 or 9 yrs ago. 


The next photo shows our boss, Marques & on the opposite end, next to Stacey, is Gayle. She was the agency receptionist when I started and is now a site manager. She is an awesome and intimidating receptionist but we got no flack from clients when Gayle was in charge of the front desk. She's a sweetheart. There are photos of the refreshment table and the cake and then the gifts. 

They did a lot for us. My department gave both us $50 in Amazon Kindle gift cards, and a lottery ticket, of which I really could use even $100K! The pink glass with the suckers is from Dena, the admissions clerk and has DumDum suckers in it and says "Work is for....". 

They gave us the centerpieces made by Debbie in HR. They're so cute. Cake was made by Debbie's daughter-in-law and was delicious. We were given recognition certificates and mine says 16 years. As of September 14 it would have been 16 years. I was only about a month and a half shy of it.

Nice speech by the Executive director and the supervisor. My whole department was surprised by the supervisor's speech. He did very well and said some nice things. Considering Carolyn and I have been the biggest thorn in his side, he was very generous. Had he been so generous when I needed generosity, I might not have decided to quit. But, I try not to harbor grudges and I remind myself of the times when he was more kind to me that I expected. I would not have been able to work at all when Jerry died if he had not been kind. I will let God take care of the rest. 

I did love this job and the people I worked with were the best in the business. For more than 14 years we've been a "High Performer". We were the third largest housing authority in the state with avg. of 1900 tenants. Our SEMAP scores were always above 90. I will miss the challenges but not the stress.

On Friday trained I Stacey and Penny on how to hook up the computer and projector to do the PowerPoint presentations we do at the move briefing. I generally do this for everyone. We went over that and I went through all my pending items with Penny and turned over two months of re-certifications to be done, several moves in progress, and pending interims. I went through documents on my computer and forwarded several to the appropriate people so they could have them to use. Since I created all forms and documents in the department, it was necessary to get them those we use most often or things I thought they might benefit from using. I sent emails to corporate regarding the landlord account procedures and the landlord handbook, which I actually wrote, compiled, and designed. Not bad if I do say so.

By noon, I was on the phone doing my usual Friday lunch cover for the receptionist. Once that was done, I went to lunch about 1 p.m. and when I returned I gave Penny my keys and finished clearing my computer, deleting Chrome and all my personal items and changing the voice mail on my phone. At 4:15 I said my goodbyes and left the building for the last time.

No, I didn't cry. One of the girls did and that almost made me cry but only for a minute because I don't like seeing people sad. I left with a smile on my face. . . and a much lighter load on my back. 

Next stop...