Where Can I Buy an Umbrella?

I'm serious. I need one. Better yet, how about an ark?

I found out last night that my oldest son's girl friend is pregnant. Under normal conditions I might be happy, not thrilled, but happy with the news. I do not live under normal conditions.

This girl is 22 and has a 5 year old, a 3 year old, and an 18 month old. She is basically homeless, living in her brother's house, sharing a bed with her mother and two children. She has no place to go. She does have a job but how long do you think she will be able to work? I suspect the brother will boot her when he hears she is pregnant. My understand is the family is angry because she divorced her husband, who just happened to leave her with three children and is not paying child support. My son is stupid and unemployed. He is the one with learning disabilities and so perhaps bad judgment is a better choice of words. At any rate, I can't move these people into my house, even if I had room.

You know, I don't know what to say here. I'm just really frustrated and angry with Mike. We have taught both these boys how to behave and they have loved doing everything we said was wrong. If they were the ones who had to deal with the messes, it might not be so bad but they simply leave the mess for us to deal with, just like they did at children. No, as children, I'd have beat the crap out of them if they didn't clean up their messes. Perhaps spanking are the cause of all this?

Admittedly, they both had choices and chose badly. Unfortunately, even the innocent are punished by the bad choices of others. I've told Mike he has to take care of this girl if she can't work, and her kids. He is not dealing well with this whole thing. I don't think this girl realized that he has emotional and mental disabilities but I don't know how she could not. Some people want to be loved so badly, they'll take anything they can get and often this is the results.

Anyway, Mike has an interview this morning at a Speedy Lube. He can do this kind of work. I am asking you faithful friends to once again put this on your prayer list today. He had an apartment picked out and would have been moving next month to his own place. Now, I have no idea what will happen. But he needs this job badly. And he needs help to keep it.

Never On A Monday

You know the song is really Never on a Sunday but seeing as how that was yesterday, I felt the title was more appropriate. And it isn't about kissing either.

I went to the "new" doctor today. Dr. Rupert, pain management specialist. He was very nice. Said we are not going to use the "F" word at all because insurance companies don't like it. I have neuropathic pain. LOL! Fancy word for the gremlin that torments me.

I said, "Well, according to most people fibromyalgia doesn't exist and is all in my head anyway. "

He said, "Exactly. So my diagnosis is neuropathic pain."

He is prescribing Lyrica. I am so afraid of new medications. Everyone of them have such awful side effects that I am just terrified. I tend ot be allergic to a lot of things but never know until I take it. Please say a pray for me in this regard. He said there some people retain water. Hah! Just what I need. . . more weight!

I got my computer fixed and I think it is running ok now. Still lots of stuff to load but I can do that a little at a time.

I am re-reading a book that I read a long time ago. I think I want to do a review on it when I am done. I am not sure but I think I am getting more out of it this time than I did then, or at least it is giving me some insights I missed the first time. Anyway, I will try and post a review about it later on. I'm about halfway through.

I wanted to tell you all how much I appreciate all your prayers and words of comfort and encouragement. I am a long way from home and I've come to realize that I value my online friends so much because often, you are the only people I talk to and when things are bad, you rush to bolster me up. You have all filled a need in my life by sharing your lives, even if it is in writing. Thank you so much for making room for me.

Oh, by the way, Jerry got the job. He started on Saturday! He was so happy to be able to go to church on Sunday. Thank you for your good thoughts and prayers. God is so very good and so are you all!

I hope you all have a good week. I will catch you later.

Sunday Drive

I got the hard drive in and have spent most of the weekend reloading software, and updating Windows and other programs. This is the most tiring part of the whole thing. So much to reload and all you can really do is sit and wait and reboot and start over on the next one.

Pain has been very bad for a week now, gradually becoming worse each day that came around. Today was no different. I didn't go to church but I slept in and got a shower in hot water. I'd dearly love a sauna or hot tub. I think the hot tub would be best because moist heat is better for this kind of pain. The hot shower helped a bit but I'm still creaky in the legs and the shoulders are just a huge ache. This is nuts, you know. There is no reason for this! I hate it and I don't understand it. I've done nothing to cause it and I think that is what is the most frustrating.

Oh, don't mind me. I'm just tired. I have to go now. I am going to church. I hope you all have a great start to the week.

Saturday Chore

I will be off line after this for most of the day. I am doing the final back up of some files and the replacing the hard drive. It is taking so long because they want me to send this drive back. It occurred to me on Thursday night that I might want to be sure and have all personal stuff wiped from this drive. It is still bootable and it has all my photos and writing and bank information and even passwords. So, I spent Thursday night trying to clear things off.

For those who don't know, just deleting doesn't get rid of anything. It's still out there for someone to find. To totally delete everything, you'd have to reformat with specific command to completely erase the drive or you have to use a program specifically designed for this purpose. Fortunately, Spy Bot Search and Destroy has a feature called Secure Shredder. I used it and it even has a drop down that will allow you to clear out your temp files and cache and cookies. No, that little feature in tools doesn't do it completely either. Lots of stuff is stored on you system after you think it is gone. So, that's what I've been doing and so I'm behind schedule a bit.

Woke up again today to intense pain from my neck to the soles of my feet. I can't really tell you what it is like but here are a couple of analogies. I feel as a board is bolted to my back and that 500 lbs gorrilla is sitting on it or the refrigerator. I can barely move when I first get up and my legs don't want to work. I took a 800 mg muscle relaxant and a Doxepin (an antidepressant used to treat pain) and slept like a rock. I've been up about 20 minutes and the pressure is not as great but there is stiffness in my neck and shoulders and I can't turn my head very well. My lower back is stiff and hurts and my legs just feel as if the muscles are torn, particularly that right one.My feet are very unhappy with my weight, too. When I walk, I totter just like a very old woman. As for my hands, stiff and achy.

I have no idea what is causing this.

Yes, I'm taking all kinds of meds for it.

No, they don't work very well.

I have no idea how one can tolerate this kind of pain. I have days when I feel that the limit my not far off.

I so want to have a day with no pain and I can enjoy the day.

Last Lap

I'm on the last lap before replacing my hard drive. I don't remember if I have mentioned that it has to be replaced. Dell sent me a new one when it was discovered that my current one has a bad place on it that it can't read. Fortunately, I haven't lost any major data that I know of. I've spent the last three days backing up data. I've decided that as soon as I have the cash I am buying a back up hard drive. This copying disk of data to be sure I don't miss something is a pain.

I have to say that tonight, I feel better than I have in a week. Less pain. Tomorrow may be a different tale. The cold seems to make it worse and I have been sleeping with the windows open. It's stupid to use air when it is 60 degrees or less out! Tonight, I'll sleep warmer and close my bedroom window but not the rest of the house.

Anyway, I am going back to the job at hand and if I'm not here for a couple of days, it is because I am replacing that drive.