This morning, in the small hours of the morning, Nancy ended her battle with cancer. Alice called me about 6:15 a.m. to let me know. She said she had talked with Nancy last night and knew the end was close but of course, we can never be prepared for the leaving of a beloved sister.
If you would like to stop by her blog and express your condolences, you can visit Alice's blog or Nancy's blog and leave her a message.
Be in prayer for this family.
Friday, January 18, 2008
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Since I Laid My Burdens Down
I have received such lovely comments from my friends since the last post. I will admit that I was so sad over something on Monday that I was finding it difficult to get through the day. It was not a life or death situation but it was a personal family issue that I don't want to come about and am powerless to prevent. The worry just kept coming at me all day. I really did have to say at the end of the day, "Enough. I can't change it." It didn't make me feel better but I expended a lot of energy on not thinking about it. So, I was pretty tired.
I spent yesterday evening reading other people's blogs and found that by the time I went to bed, a lot of them had made me laugh. Others gave me food for thought. And for others, I stopped to say a prayer.
So, I am feeling better although still concerned about this issue. It isn't resolved and I don't know the answer.
Today I have been overwhelmed by the thoughtful and even beautiful responses from you, my wonderful friends. I am priviliged to call you friends, blessed to be called your friend. Though I have never met most of you, there is a place that you have come to occupy in my heart because when I have been in dark places you came and shone your light and beat back the darkness.
Alice and many of you, my multiply friends, have asked what you could do for me. You have all done a lot already.
Alice, I think, you did more for me by allowing me to share your burden of worry and concern for your sister. You allowed me to be a part of a very frightening situation you are going through. I could not be there for you in body but I could be there in spirit and prayer. That was my blessing from you. And you have made me laugh for over a year, girl friend! I couldn't ask for more! But I know you willingly give more. I can count on you for the direct, straight from the shoulder truth. Alice, a gun-toting female Will Rogers who has me in stitches at times... from laughter, not bullet holes.
Sheila, sweet, battle scared, warrior woman, creator of beauty with just a pot of paint, brushes, pencils and a thought. You make me smile and laugh and amaze me with your determination to find the right path. And whose grandchildren's smiles decorate her blog and warm any cold heart. In the midst of your own pain you stop and bind up the wounds of others.
Skeeter and Amy my spirit-filled prayer warriors, possessed with vast qantities of humor.
Oh, Skeeter, my NaNoWriMo partner and mother of all, with her servant spirit, nursing the wounds of all as she serves up a heaping dish of common sense and spiritual truth. Another straight shooter but with a needle rather than a gun. Encourager of the sisteren.
Amy brings all that is sweet and kind and caring. She juggles her worries for her little girl and husband, pulls her hair over her family turmoils while finding time to say the right thing at the right time. Compassion would be her middle name.
Tracey has her struggles with her health but still stops and offers comforting Word and prayers and humor. She's a Dixie girl too and I can get a whiff of southern pine when I read her blog.
Lisa and Sunflower always have time to pray for a problem and listen to a whine and dance, offer encouraging words, and still share the amusing moments of their day.
Alisone (I know her as Maeve) encourages and shares her daily woes and whoops with family, work, Mr. Dante, and the struggle to make her way in a world as a competent young woman with chutzpa. I can count on a laugh most of the time and a pat on the back all the time.
I can be certain that Jilly's blog with entertain me for hours. Whether it is the antics of her polka-dot doggies, her five kids, her mechanically inclined husband, a contrary washer or computer, there will be something to smile or laugh about.
This is only a few of those on my contact list. And I could spend all night relating what I have gained from each of you because each of you has given me something important. You shared your lives with me. You have shared your troubles, you frustrations, and your joys. And still you find time to hold out your hand to pull up someone else. I've traveled the world to Europe and back. I have found very few places where such a diverse group of people could offer so much human compassion, and friendship.
And today, a few new people dropped in to extend their hands as well! I
had to put down the burden to reach them. I am really feeling better because of it. I wish I could give as much in return. Thanks to all of you.
I spent yesterday evening reading other people's blogs and found that by the time I went to bed, a lot of them had made me laugh. Others gave me food for thought. And for others, I stopped to say a prayer.
So, I am feeling better although still concerned about this issue. It isn't resolved and I don't know the answer.
Today I have been overwhelmed by the thoughtful and even beautiful responses from you, my wonderful friends. I am priviliged to call you friends, blessed to be called your friend. Though I have never met most of you, there is a place that you have come to occupy in my heart because when I have been in dark places you came and shone your light and beat back the darkness.
Alice and many of you, my multiply friends, have asked what you could do for me. You have all done a lot already.
Alice, I think, you did more for me by allowing me to share your burden of worry and concern for your sister. You allowed me to be a part of a very frightening situation you are going through. I could not be there for you in body but I could be there in spirit and prayer. That was my blessing from you. And you have made me laugh for over a year, girl friend! I couldn't ask for more! But I know you willingly give more. I can count on you for the direct, straight from the shoulder truth. Alice, a gun-toting female Will Rogers who has me in stitches at times... from laughter, not bullet holes.
Sheila, sweet, battle scared, warrior woman, creator of beauty with just a pot of paint, brushes, pencils and a thought. You make me smile and laugh and amaze me with your determination to find the right path. And whose grandchildren's smiles decorate her blog and warm any cold heart. In the midst of your own pain you stop and bind up the wounds of others.
Skeeter and Amy my spirit-filled prayer warriors, possessed with vast qantities of humor.
Oh, Skeeter, my NaNoWriMo partner and mother of all, with her servant spirit, nursing the wounds of all as she serves up a heaping dish of common sense and spiritual truth. Another straight shooter but with a needle rather than a gun. Encourager of the sisteren.
Amy brings all that is sweet and kind and caring. She juggles her worries for her little girl and husband, pulls her hair over her family turmoils while finding time to say the right thing at the right time. Compassion would be her middle name.
Tracey has her struggles with her health but still stops and offers comforting Word and prayers and humor. She's a Dixie girl too and I can get a whiff of southern pine when I read her blog.
Lisa and Sunflower always have time to pray for a problem and listen to a whine and dance, offer encouraging words, and still share the amusing moments of their day.
Alisone (I know her as Maeve) encourages and shares her daily woes and whoops with family, work, Mr. Dante, and the struggle to make her way in a world as a competent young woman with chutzpa. I can count on a laugh most of the time and a pat on the back all the time.
I can be certain that Jilly's blog with entertain me for hours. Whether it is the antics of her polka-dot doggies, her five kids, her mechanically inclined husband, a contrary washer or computer, there will be something to smile or laugh about.
This is only a few of those on my contact list. And I could spend all night relating what I have gained from each of you because each of you has given me something important. You shared your lives with me. You have shared your troubles, you frustrations, and your joys. And still you find time to hold out your hand to pull up someone else. I've traveled the world to Europe and back. I have found very few places where such a diverse group of people could offer so much human compassion, and friendship.
And today, a few new people dropped in to extend their hands as well! I
had to put down the burden to reach them. I am really feeling better because of it. I wish I could give as much in return. Thanks to all of you.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Kings, Caves, and Country Music
I am in the midst of a quandry. I've spent the last several days trying to place myself in the grand scheme of things. I've learned ( actually a long time ago) that I'm not very important to anyone except myself. I don't hold a high position on anyone's pedastal. I'm not at the top of anyone's charts, although I may be on a few "lists". Most of the people I know only call me when they want something FROM me. They don't call to do something FOR me.
No, in the grand scheme of things, I probably rank up there with day old bread or moldy cheese. You can get it real cheap and it will do in a pinch. You can actually cut the moldy part of cheese off an the rest is still edible. Oh yes, it is. Cheese is soured milk! Mold is only on the surface of the cheese. Beside, mold is where penicillin comes from, too.
No, thank you, I do not want any cheese. It doesn't cure depression or disappointment. I've had a couple of disappointments this week. And you know, I am tired of the same people disappointing me!
How is that possible? Am I stupid? And why do we feel disappointment? I can't understand what makes me feel lower than a snake's belly. I tell myself that "it doesn't matter, I'll get through it" but I don't feel better. Do you know that there have been times when I have said, "I won't think about it." And I don't! But I can't always do it. Sometimes, it's just in my face.
My thought as I pulled out of the parking lot at lunch today was this. "This doesn't matter. I will manage somehow. I always do. I'll just not think about it." Now, I'm one who hates lying to myself. If it didn't matter, I wouldn't be wasting my time and energy feeling bad about it. If it didn't matter I wouldn't be thinking about it. If it didn't matter, there is no meaning or purpose. If there is no meaning or purpose. . . I'm not fool enough to think that anyone actually cares but if there is no purpose, I don't matter.
No, there is no point to this blog, it is just my time to whine and dine.
David said "Is there a cause?" Well, yes, sometimes there is. But for the life of me, I can't figure it out. Sometimes, things just don't make sense. No matter how much I look it up in the dictionary, research the web, scour encyclopeidas and devour scripture. Sometimes there is just no reason for some things.
I suspect David spent a lot of time in the caves wondering about his position in the universe. He didn't go seeking the Kingdom, it came seeking him. When confronted with taking it, he ran rather taking what was rightfully his. No one could have wanted to be King less than David. Can't say I blame him either. He didn't run fast enough.
As a child and young boy he probably lay in the fields watching the sheep and dreaming of what he would be when he grew up while he wrote country music. Well, he wrote them in the country with a stringed instrument and they are about all the problems he has, and livestock. Hello! Cowboy alert.
I doubt if he ever dreamed of being the king. It would have been sacreligous. I suspect he dreamed of the huge sheep farm he would have someday, perfect wife and beautiful brilliant children. He wrote a song about that.
He didn't get the sheep farm. He had some beautiful wives but he did stupid things to get them and one was a jealous nag. Let's face it, his children were less than brilliant. As far as I can recall, they were all pretty much stupid except for one. And even that one had some stupid moments. And like all country music singers, he always had a song to sing about his problems. Some of them were pretty depressing. So, my guess is that David spent a lot of time feeling what I am feeling. Disappointment, depression, failure. I just don't have any songs. So, I write blogs.
I don't know why I feel abandoned and alone. Maybe because my hormones are off. Maybe I didn't sleep enough. Maybe ..... maybe it doesn't really matter.
However, over the course of today, one thing has become clear. If I had my life to live over again I don't think I'd get married unless he was a filthy rich. Then I'd spend my life cleaning him up. I'd own my own mountain in the Smokies and have armed guards at the entrance. I don't know if I'd have children unless they did genetic testing for intelligence. Since that is still experimental. . .
But I sure wouldn't hang around in caves writing country music. Its cold.
No, in the grand scheme of things, I probably rank up there with day old bread or moldy cheese. You can get it real cheap and it will do in a pinch. You can actually cut the moldy part of cheese off an the rest is still edible. Oh yes, it is. Cheese is soured milk! Mold is only on the surface of the cheese. Beside, mold is where penicillin comes from, too.
No, thank you, I do not want any cheese. It doesn't cure depression or disappointment. I've had a couple of disappointments this week. And you know, I am tired of the same people disappointing me!
How is that possible? Am I stupid? And why do we feel disappointment? I can't understand what makes me feel lower than a snake's belly. I tell myself that "it doesn't matter, I'll get through it" but I don't feel better. Do you know that there have been times when I have said, "I won't think about it." And I don't! But I can't always do it. Sometimes, it's just in my face.
My thought as I pulled out of the parking lot at lunch today was this. "This doesn't matter. I will manage somehow. I always do. I'll just not think about it." Now, I'm one who hates lying to myself. If it didn't matter, I wouldn't be wasting my time and energy feeling bad about it. If it didn't matter I wouldn't be thinking about it. If it didn't matter, there is no meaning or purpose. If there is no meaning or purpose. . . I'm not fool enough to think that anyone actually cares but if there is no purpose, I don't matter.
No, there is no point to this blog, it is just my time to whine and dine.
David said "Is there a cause?" Well, yes, sometimes there is. But for the life of me, I can't figure it out. Sometimes, things just don't make sense. No matter how much I look it up in the dictionary, research the web, scour encyclopeidas and devour scripture. Sometimes there is just no reason for some things.
I suspect David spent a lot of time in the caves wondering about his position in the universe. He didn't go seeking the Kingdom, it came seeking him. When confronted with taking it, he ran rather taking what was rightfully his. No one could have wanted to be King less than David. Can't say I blame him either. He didn't run fast enough.
As a child and young boy he probably lay in the fields watching the sheep and dreaming of what he would be when he grew up while he wrote country music. Well, he wrote them in the country with a stringed instrument and they are about all the problems he has, and livestock. Hello! Cowboy alert.
I doubt if he ever dreamed of being the king. It would have been sacreligous. I suspect he dreamed of the huge sheep farm he would have someday, perfect wife and beautiful brilliant children. He wrote a song about that.
He didn't get the sheep farm. He had some beautiful wives but he did stupid things to get them and one was a jealous nag. Let's face it, his children were less than brilliant. As far as I can recall, they were all pretty much stupid except for one. And even that one had some stupid moments. And like all country music singers, he always had a song to sing about his problems. Some of them were pretty depressing. So, my guess is that David spent a lot of time feeling what I am feeling. Disappointment, depression, failure. I just don't have any songs. So, I write blogs.
I don't know why I feel abandoned and alone. Maybe because my hormones are off. Maybe I didn't sleep enough. Maybe ..... maybe it doesn't really matter.
However, over the course of today, one thing has become clear. If I had my life to live over again I don't think I'd get married unless he was a filthy rich. Then I'd spend my life cleaning him up. I'd own my own mountain in the Smokies and have armed guards at the entrance. I don't know if I'd have children unless they did genetic testing for intelligence. Since that is still experimental. . .
But I sure wouldn't hang around in caves writing country music. Its cold.
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Update on Nancy
Alice left a note the previous blog. She has returned from her visit to see Nancy. She says that Nancy is still among the living and that she is planning on staying there! Although she is blind now, she refuses to give up.
I'm over here cheering. And praying for her. Keep her in your prayers, too.
I'm over here cheering. And praying for her. Keep her in your prayers, too.
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Do Not Go Quietly
My friend, Alice is on her way to Florida to say her last good-byes to her little sister, Nancy. They called her today and told her it was time for Nancy to go.
As many of you know, about two months ago Nancy was diagnosed with nasopharengeal cancer. It is an aggressive cancer and she was given weeks to months to live. Yes, it was that fast. I've asked all of you to pray for her numerous times and many of you have emailed me and contacted Alice through her site to let us know you were praying. I am thankful to have such caring friends on my list and I know that Alice has appreciated the notes and emails you have left for her.
Tonight, Nancy's time has run out. I don't know how many days or hours or minutes she has before God calls her name, but I suspect, from Alice's description of the past weekend, it will be very soon. The following is an excerpt from Alice's email.
Nancy had to go to the ER on Sunday, 01/06/08. Her left side was contracting and her had was 'drawing up'. She has lost control of her bladder and bowel.A cat scan was done - she has new lesions on her brain = the technicians quit counting after 20. Death is imminent - approximate time limit - a mere few days...She canNOT speak. But you can call her house or cell and ask to be put on the speaker, and Nancy will respond by writing on a white-erase board and someone will read it.
You can see this is not for the faint of heart. So, for this one final time, I ask you to be in prayer for Nancy and her family this week.
I am hoping Alice gets there before it is too late. It will be very hard if she doesn't get to say good-bye. I don't know what it means to lose a beloved sister. I have two younger sisters and the thought is beyond my ability to entertain. I know what I would be feeling were I in Alice's shoes. I know what I would feel if this were my child. Nancy's parents are still alive and must get through the passing of their little girl. Keep them in your prayers for the days to come. They will need it.
Nancy and Alice are my friends from 360 and just before I came over to Multiply, she got sick. Alice followed me over to Multiply and started a page for Nancy. I've known Alice over a year and met Nancy through her. We shared a love of writing. With each email, she encouraged me to keep pushing myself to write the story I am working on. I don't know if it is really as good as she said but I believe she knew what every insecure writer needs to hear. She fed me encouragement and lifted my confidence. If I ever finish it, Nancy will have played a big part. I am so thankful that I got to meet her, even if it was just a cyber meeting. I like her a lot. I wish we had an opportunity to actually meet and talk. I think we would have liked each other immensely.
Hug your loved ones close tonight. Tomorrow may be the day you have to say goodby. Don't waste your time on the foolish and petty arguments and disagreements of today. Bury them without grief. If at all possible, tell those you love them right now, before you close your eyes. They may not care today, but you can close your eyes knowing you did all you could, said all that mattered. And someday, they will be glad you did.
Good night, my good friend, Nancy. I am so glad for the opportunity to call you friend.
As many of you know, about two months ago Nancy was diagnosed with nasopharengeal cancer. It is an aggressive cancer and she was given weeks to months to live. Yes, it was that fast. I've asked all of you to pray for her numerous times and many of you have emailed me and contacted Alice through her site to let us know you were praying. I am thankful to have such caring friends on my list and I know that Alice has appreciated the notes and emails you have left for her.
Tonight, Nancy's time has run out. I don't know how many days or hours or minutes she has before God calls her name, but I suspect, from Alice's description of the past weekend, it will be very soon. The following is an excerpt from Alice's email.
Nancy had to go to the ER on Sunday, 01/06/08. Her left side was contracting and her had was 'drawing up'. She has lost control of her bladder and bowel.A cat scan was done - she has new lesions on her brain = the technicians quit counting after 20. Death is imminent - approximate time limit - a mere few days...She canNOT speak. But you can call her house or cell and ask to be put on the speaker, and Nancy will respond by writing on a white-erase board and someone will read it.
You can see this is not for the faint of heart. So, for this one final time, I ask you to be in prayer for Nancy and her family this week.
I am hoping Alice gets there before it is too late. It will be very hard if she doesn't get to say good-bye. I don't know what it means to lose a beloved sister. I have two younger sisters and the thought is beyond my ability to entertain. I know what I would be feeling were I in Alice's shoes. I know what I would feel if this were my child. Nancy's parents are still alive and must get through the passing of their little girl. Keep them in your prayers for the days to come. They will need it.
Nancy and Alice are my friends from 360 and just before I came over to Multiply, she got sick. Alice followed me over to Multiply and started a page for Nancy. I've known Alice over a year and met Nancy through her. We shared a love of writing. With each email, she encouraged me to keep pushing myself to write the story I am working on. I don't know if it is really as good as she said but I believe she knew what every insecure writer needs to hear. She fed me encouragement and lifted my confidence. If I ever finish it, Nancy will have played a big part. I am so thankful that I got to meet her, even if it was just a cyber meeting. I like her a lot. I wish we had an opportunity to actually meet and talk. I think we would have liked each other immensely.
Hug your loved ones close tonight. Tomorrow may be the day you have to say goodby. Don't waste your time on the foolish and petty arguments and disagreements of today. Bury them without grief. If at all possible, tell those you love them right now, before you close your eyes. They may not care today, but you can close your eyes knowing you did all you could, said all that mattered. And someday, they will be glad you did.
Good night, my good friend, Nancy. I am so glad for the opportunity to call you friend.
Sunday, January 6, 2008
Reading, Reverie, Rumors and Rants
Try saying that three time, very fast! I like my titles to have some bearing on the content. I read once that when writing, introducing something in threes was an effective technique. I've found it works really well with titles, something at which I am not very good at coming up with. Whew, what a sentence!
I have bit of a cold. I started taking cold meds as soon as I felt it coming on so I hope the worst will pass me up. Several people at work after the holiday have colds. The boss had it the day before I left and two others when I came back. One was on the mend but the other girl had to go home after noon on Wednesday. She was really sick with it. I was concerned that I'd get it during my time off but I stayed away as much as possible from the boss the couple of days he was there. I am concerned I'll catch it from the newest victims. I had to be in the room with the two girls this past week but I tried to stay far away and not touch anything they touched and wash my hands and even my face!
Normally, I wouldn't worry too much about a cold but Sarah gets very sick and if she runs a fever we are on high alert for seizures. So, I am medicating, keeping my distance, washing my hands obsessively, and just refusing to accept it. LOL Don't know if that will work but hey, can't hurt.
I had my massage yesterday. You remember, my sister bought me a gift certificate from a spa. She gives me one either for Christmas or my birthday. I loved it. She made my shoulders and neck feel so great! I came home and felt so good. Better than I have in awhile. NO pain anywhere yesterday. Today, a twinge in my neck and a longing to go back.
I've been visiting blogs this weekend, along with finishing the latest Martha Grimes novel, "Dust". I love her Richard Jury novels and have read all but one, which I did not realize I had not read. These are mystery novels. American author writing about a Scotland Yard detective. If you like long reads with great characters and good stories start with the first one. "The Man with a Load of Mischief". All her books are named for British pubs, whether real or not I can't say. I just know I love the characters and after reading her for about 20 years, I know them pretty well.
The blogs were all very interesting. Drifted into a few that are contacts of my contacts' contacts. Whew! I found a few that were really good reads. I recommend that you visit your contacts' contacts. There are some great people. Mostly, I just wanted to catch up on all of my friends. It sounds as if the week after the holidays is anti-climactic. There's not much happening, everyone trying to recover a balance after emotional highs or lows. No wonder people get sick this time of year. Perhaps too much stress floating around just wears down our resistance.
I went over to the Refugee blog and listened to the rumors that are still flying about regarding what is going to happen to Yahoo. I don't really care anymore. I still have my page up on 360 and will probably leave it until I get everything deleted or until they shut it down. I started blogging through Blogger before 360, so I don't have the emotional attachment some appear to have with Yahoo. I do like the on-line friends I found there and want to keep in touch if possble. I cross post to my Blogger blog, something I could never do with 360, by the way. So it makes it easier because I can choose whatI want to cross-post to which blog. It is awsome.
However, I do not miss the dropped comments of friends, the lost posts, the inability design the page the way I want, to add features like music and photos and interesting content at Yahoo that I get here. I do not miss the lack of support from Yahoo -- can't miss what wasn't there! And, if in fact, Yahoo adds those kinds of things, I don't think I'll bother. I'm learning to do things here and learning it once is enough for me. Yes, it is difficult but there are so many help resources it is amazing and people who know how to do it are just so good at sharing how to do things. All I ever got from Yahoo where help is concerned is a form letter and a "thanks for asking us" reply or I got instructions to consult the help file, which was no help at all!
So, Multiply, I'm here as long as you keep doing the customer service as good as it is now and as long as I can do interesting things to the site. I hope to meet new people and in fact, I've added a couple of new contacts. I welcome them and hope they don't find me tedious or boring. I can be both at times. There are times I come on and rant about whatever earthshaking event is happening in the world or in my house or on my job. I hope you are not put off by it and will continue to stop by.
I hope you all have a lovely weekend. I hope to go to church tonight. I didn't get to this morning. I made the mistake of loaning my car to my son and he decided he couldn't go this morning. I had no way to go unless I went after the car. Well, long story there that I don't want to delve into. Just hope tonight I can go.
Be safe, be well, be blessed.
I have bit of a cold. I started taking cold meds as soon as I felt it coming on so I hope the worst will pass me up. Several people at work after the holiday have colds. The boss had it the day before I left and two others when I came back. One was on the mend but the other girl had to go home after noon on Wednesday. She was really sick with it. I was concerned that I'd get it during my time off but I stayed away as much as possible from the boss the couple of days he was there. I am concerned I'll catch it from the newest victims. I had to be in the room with the two girls this past week but I tried to stay far away and not touch anything they touched and wash my hands and even my face!
Normally, I wouldn't worry too much about a cold but Sarah gets very sick and if she runs a fever we are on high alert for seizures. So, I am medicating, keeping my distance, washing my hands obsessively, and just refusing to accept it. LOL Don't know if that will work but hey, can't hurt.
I had my massage yesterday. You remember, my sister bought me a gift certificate from a spa. She gives me one either for Christmas or my birthday. I loved it. She made my shoulders and neck feel so great! I came home and felt so good. Better than I have in awhile. NO pain anywhere yesterday. Today, a twinge in my neck and a longing to go back.
I've been visiting blogs this weekend, along with finishing the latest Martha Grimes novel, "Dust". I love her Richard Jury novels and have read all but one, which I did not realize I had not read. These are mystery novels. American author writing about a Scotland Yard detective. If you like long reads with great characters and good stories start with the first one. "The Man with a Load of Mischief". All her books are named for British pubs, whether real or not I can't say. I just know I love the characters and after reading her for about 20 years, I know them pretty well.
The blogs were all very interesting. Drifted into a few that are contacts of my contacts' contacts. Whew! I found a few that were really good reads. I recommend that you visit your contacts' contacts. There are some great people. Mostly, I just wanted to catch up on all of my friends. It sounds as if the week after the holidays is anti-climactic. There's not much happening, everyone trying to recover a balance after emotional highs or lows. No wonder people get sick this time of year. Perhaps too much stress floating around just wears down our resistance.
I went over to the Refugee blog and listened to the rumors that are still flying about regarding what is going to happen to Yahoo. I don't really care anymore. I still have my page up on 360 and will probably leave it until I get everything deleted or until they shut it down. I started blogging through Blogger before 360, so I don't have the emotional attachment some appear to have with Yahoo. I do like the on-line friends I found there and want to keep in touch if possble. I cross post to my Blogger blog, something I could never do with 360, by the way. So it makes it easier because I can choose whatI want to cross-post to which blog. It is awsome.
However, I do not miss the dropped comments of friends, the lost posts, the inability design the page the way I want, to add features like music and photos and interesting content at Yahoo that I get here. I do not miss the lack of support from Yahoo -- can't miss what wasn't there! And, if in fact, Yahoo adds those kinds of things, I don't think I'll bother. I'm learning to do things here and learning it once is enough for me. Yes, it is difficult but there are so many help resources it is amazing and people who know how to do it are just so good at sharing how to do things. All I ever got from Yahoo where help is concerned is a form letter and a "thanks for asking us" reply or I got instructions to consult the help file, which was no help at all!
So, Multiply, I'm here as long as you keep doing the customer service as good as it is now and as long as I can do interesting things to the site. I hope to meet new people and in fact, I've added a couple of new contacts. I welcome them and hope they don't find me tedious or boring. I can be both at times. There are times I come on and rant about whatever earthshaking event is happening in the world or in my house or on my job. I hope you are not put off by it and will continue to stop by.
I hope you all have a lovely weekend. I hope to go to church tonight. I didn't get to this morning. I made the mistake of loaning my car to my son and he decided he couldn't go this morning. I had no way to go unless I went after the car. Well, long story there that I don't want to delve into. Just hope tonight I can go.
Be safe, be well, be blessed.
Friday, January 4, 2008
Enough Stuff
O.k. I'm pretty sick of this whole mess. I have a horrible headache that I went to bed with last night and it has only worsened today. My neck and shoulder hurt too. I took two muscle relaxants last night to see if it would help but it didn't. So, my weekend appears to be going down the toilet if I can't shake this off. I am going to lunch with my son and his family and he has magic hands that I will ask him to use on the neck if he wants to get a free lunch!
I'd appreciate all you praying friends to say a prayer for me right now because I've had enough of this headache!
I have gone around to all your blogs and caught up with some of the reading. I actually realized I had not visited a few in over a month! Wow, what a busy couple of months I had. Nano and Thanksgiving in November and Christmas and two birthdays in December!
Now, I am focusing on working on Mist and I have to get busy with my church website. It has been down a year becasue I have computer problems. But my son said I could come over and put it up from his. I also want to work in my two nano novels from 06 and 07.
So, it would seem the rest of the year is already planned? {sigh} I'm tired already!
I will leave you with this thought:
Year, n. A period of 365 disappointments.--Ambrose Bierce in The Devil's Dictionary
I'd appreciate all you praying friends to say a prayer for me right now because I've had enough of this headache!
I have gone around to all your blogs and caught up with some of the reading. I actually realized I had not visited a few in over a month! Wow, what a busy couple of months I had. Nano and Thanksgiving in November and Christmas and two birthdays in December!
Now, I am focusing on working on Mist and I have to get busy with my church website. It has been down a year becasue I have computer problems. But my son said I could come over and put it up from his. I also want to work in my two nano novels from 06 and 07.
So, it would seem the rest of the year is already planned? {sigh} I'm tired already!
I will leave you with this thought:
Year, n. A period of 365 disappointments.--Ambrose Bierce in The Devil's Dictionary
Thursday, January 3, 2008
Weekend Approaching - Proceed with Caution
I've been out since the 21st of December and the office was open for three days during that time. I am so buried in paperwork I couldn't see daylight when I got in on Wednesday. I am so thankful the weekend is only one day away.
I still haven't told everyone about our Winter Warm Up services. This was December 27th & 28th. Pastor Scott Graham from Illinois preached the night services and it was wonderful. On Thursday night he preached "Stay Out of the Woods" and on Friday night it was "Walls and Gates". I hoped to put something on here about them but I've just been so busy I have not had time to do much on the blog. Becca got them on cd so I may borrow them and re-listen to get some idea for posting. I wish you could have heard the whole thing.
I am going to stop now and run out for food. I have been wading through mounds of paper and can finally see a glimmer of light. I hope to be through with the five moves I have to process today! Whew!
I've changed the music on my blog but it isn't what I was hoping. I love the bagpipes playing Amazing Grace. I've decided to ask my family to have that played at my funeral. I also like the old hymns with the bluegrass sounds. But the ones I could post appear to be short clips. Still pretty though.
Hope you all have a great week and wonderful day!
I still haven't told everyone about our Winter Warm Up services. This was December 27th & 28th. Pastor Scott Graham from Illinois preached the night services and it was wonderful. On Thursday night he preached "Stay Out of the Woods" and on Friday night it was "Walls and Gates". I hoped to put something on here about them but I've just been so busy I have not had time to do much on the blog. Becca got them on cd so I may borrow them and re-listen to get some idea for posting. I wish you could have heard the whole thing.
I am going to stop now and run out for food. I have been wading through mounds of paper and can finally see a glimmer of light. I hope to be through with the five moves I have to process today! Whew!
I've changed the music on my blog but it isn't what I was hoping. I love the bagpipes playing Amazing Grace. I've decided to ask my family to have that played at my funeral. I also like the old hymns with the bluegrass sounds. But the ones I could post appear to be short clips. Still pretty though.
Hope you all have a great week and wonderful day!
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
New Year, Same Story
I hope you have all had a wonderful holiday season and that you have begun the new year with a commitment to your goals, whatever they may be.
For me, today was rather uneventful and tomorrow I must go back to the mines. I dread this but it is a necessity. My pain has been at peak levels all week because I had too little sleep. Tonight, I took a Flexril and will take another when I turn in at last to try and shake this pain in my neck, shoulders, arms and back. I really have to start going to the Y regularly now. I dread that too since every New Year's liar will crowd the place for two months.
I just posted the 29th Chapter of Hidden in the Mist. I know a couple will dash madly over to check it out. Let me warn you, it is short, too. I apologize but at the moment, it seems to be presenting itself in short segments that just seem to lend themselves to chapter breaks. The nice thing about this is that I can write more often in short breaks! I've worked out some kinks I think and now I have to get cracking on this case with Samantha. There is a murder to solve and the mystery of the Circle of Seeing relating to Samantha's sight.
When I call these chapter, you must understand that on the off chance I get this completed, the current chapter divisions will most assuredly change. The current format simply followed writting perionds. I had to stop in the middle of something... so I break in places where I "feel" that transitions occur.
I will bid you all a good night. May the One Eternal God smile on you in this new year. May He grant you grace and mercy. May He bless your going out and your coming in. And may you cultivate a desire to learn of Him, grown in Him, and live for Him. May you quench the thirsting of your soul by drinking from the living waters that flows from the eternal fountain.
God Bless and Happy New Year
For me, today was rather uneventful and tomorrow I must go back to the mines. I dread this but it is a necessity. My pain has been at peak levels all week because I had too little sleep. Tonight, I took a Flexril and will take another when I turn in at last to try and shake this pain in my neck, shoulders, arms and back. I really have to start going to the Y regularly now. I dread that too since every New Year's liar will crowd the place for two months.
I just posted the 29th Chapter of Hidden in the Mist. I know a couple will dash madly over to check it out. Let me warn you, it is short, too. I apologize but at the moment, it seems to be presenting itself in short segments that just seem to lend themselves to chapter breaks. The nice thing about this is that I can write more often in short breaks! I've worked out some kinks I think and now I have to get cracking on this case with Samantha. There is a murder to solve and the mystery of the Circle of Seeing relating to Samantha's sight.
When I call these chapter, you must understand that on the off chance I get this completed, the current chapter divisions will most assuredly change. The current format simply followed writting perionds. I had to stop in the middle of something... so I break in places where I "feel" that transitions occur.
I will bid you all a good night. May the One Eternal God smile on you in this new year. May He grant you grace and mercy. May He bless your going out and your coming in. And may you cultivate a desire to learn of Him, grown in Him, and live for Him. May you quench the thirsting of your soul by drinking from the living waters that flows from the eternal fountain.
God Bless and Happy New Year
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Ritual Lies
Last January 1, I posted a New Year's resonse on my Yahoo 360 page called Lies in Fancy Dress. It was to all those who spend time lying to yourselves by making resolutions. I stopped doing that a long time ago because I realized I'd made a fool of myself two months later. So, since I am a big enough fool as it is, I stopped my ritual lying. Actually, I try to avoid telling all lies but ritual lying is the subject of the blog.
I must honestly admit that I failed to attain all the goals I set. But the difference in a resolution and a goal is where we've been set up to fail. Resolutions are are things that you must do and legally bind yourself to do. Your signature is at the bottom to signify that you swear to do what you have said. Goals are always before us and we continually strive to attain them, fully knowing that we may fail! It is the attempt that counts and the prize is reaching the goal!
We may crawl across the finish line, nails ripped and torn, knees scraped raw and burning, drenched in sweat, bleeding from the trips and falls we've taken, tears pouring from tired red eyes and dead last. But. . . we will have crossed the finish line! Our goal has been reached! Regardless of the condition of our body or the position in line, to attain the goal means we won!
In Philippians 3:14 Paul stated this goal - "I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus." A "mark" is a goal. Paul had set the highest goal possible. He must have been a sports fanatic because because he talked about races, and pressing forward, gaining and attaining - all words that bring to my mind sporting events. He knew what a real goal was and what was required to reach it. And he knew that while failure was always a possibility, giving up wasn't.
Don't waste time resolving to do things you will never do. Set a goal, put it in front of you where you can see it every day. And never, ever, ever, stop striving to reach that goal. No matter how many New Year's come and go, no matter how many of the failed resolutions you pass on the way, keep striving toward the mark you have set.
Read the Philippians 3. Paul has numerous goals in this chapter and you may consider using them as a pattern to creat your own goals. You can do it! I'm cheering you on!
I must honestly admit that I failed to attain all the goals I set. But the difference in a resolution and a goal is where we've been set up to fail. Resolutions are are things that you must do and legally bind yourself to do. Your signature is at the bottom to signify that you swear to do what you have said. Goals are always before us and we continually strive to attain them, fully knowing that we may fail! It is the attempt that counts and the prize is reaching the goal!
We may crawl across the finish line, nails ripped and torn, knees scraped raw and burning, drenched in sweat, bleeding from the trips and falls we've taken, tears pouring from tired red eyes and dead last. But. . . we will have crossed the finish line! Our goal has been reached! Regardless of the condition of our body or the position in line, to attain the goal means we won!
In Philippians 3:14 Paul stated this goal - "I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus." A "mark" is a goal. Paul had set the highest goal possible. He must have been a sports fanatic because because he talked about races, and pressing forward, gaining and attaining - all words that bring to my mind sporting events. He knew what a real goal was and what was required to reach it. And he knew that while failure was always a possibility, giving up wasn't.
Don't waste time resolving to do things you will never do. Set a goal, put it in front of you where you can see it every day. And never, ever, ever, stop striving to reach that goal. No matter how many New Year's come and go, no matter how many of the failed resolutions you pass on the way, keep striving toward the mark you have set.
Read the Philippians 3. Paul has numerous goals in this chapter and you may consider using them as a pattern to creat your own goals. You can do it! I'm cheering you on!
Saturday, December 22, 2007
Writing Fuel
Since the beginning of National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) in November I've been generating more words on paper than I have in speech! My change over to multiply has also made a difference in the word process. I seem to be putting up more focused content most of the time. I don't know if that is because the NaNoWriMo or because of Mulitply. Perhaps it is a bit of both.
I've been working on Hidden in the Mist (working title) because I have a reader hounding me to get to it. In the last couple of days some things have become more focused regarding the story. And it is about time, since my word count is over 45,000 but it has taken a year to get there! For those of you who don't have a clue about HITM I apologize. It would take too long to explain here but for those reading it (Alice) this might give you some insight.
This morning as I fixed a cup of Hazelnut coffee (Mmmmm, as Lisa says) I began to think about power. We all have power in us that is untapped, possibly because it is unknown to us. I don't mean mind bending or disappearing elephants magic. I mean mountain moving power that simply requires us to speak it or think it. The abiltiy to speak into existance things that weren't but are. There lies within each of us the ability to speak into existance good things or bad things. Motivation is what directs this power: why do we want something to exist? Negative reasons will create negative outcomes. Positive reasons will create positive outcomes. Do not come here and tell me this is impossible. I won't be deterred by the blind. You see, I've proved it too many times, both the negative and the positive. I KNOW it works.
So, as I drank my coffee and pondered my story I relized that this is what Mist is all about. Two worlds and untapped, unrecognized, misused power.
We live in a world that exist within worlds. It is a world suspended between two worlds and our world is a mixture of both. We hang between the two and are faced every day with the choice of which world we would like to inhabit.
One is a place of pollution, violence, anger, frustrations, murder, deceit, avarice, extortion, and disrespect. This world glows with a light that, from a distance, is alluring, exciting our senses. It is filled with unknown wonders; sights and sounds that please the eyes and ears and gorge the body. We are drawn to it's glittering promise, deeper and deeper until we step across the boundary into the unknown, a place that suddenly reveals that it is dark and frightening. We don't know how we got there and we can't find our way out. Every attempt sends us back into the dark. Only once in a while may we escape. But it has left it's mark.
The other world is a place of beauty, peace, harmony, respect and honor, a place where love abounds and brotherhood is in the air we breath. Every need is met. We have only to ask. It isn't shinning glittering towers of commerce, superficial decoration, and empty promises. It isn't a place of gluttony of the body but of satisfied spirit and mind. It is a place that glows with a light far brighter than any man can generate because the pollution doesn't exist. And once in awhile, we find our way there. We step across the boundary, into that world that seems at first glance, plain and untouched by progress. But, if we stay long enough, we realize that here is rest and sustenance that is constant. Here is peace and safety. None go lacking. We realize that this world is real and we can stay as long as we desire. We can leave whenever we want. And some do.
We are drawn to the one by our eyes. We are drawn to the other by our hearts. Occassionally, there are those who step into the real world with only one goal, to steal the hearts and draw us back through the Mist. It is a choice for each of us. How we choose will determine our course for eternity.
Choose wisely.
I've been working on Hidden in the Mist (working title) because I have a reader hounding me to get to it. In the last couple of days some things have become more focused regarding the story. And it is about time, since my word count is over 45,000 but it has taken a year to get there! For those of you who don't have a clue about HITM I apologize. It would take too long to explain here but for those reading it (Alice) this might give you some insight.
This morning as I fixed a cup of Hazelnut coffee (Mmmmm, as Lisa says) I began to think about power. We all have power in us that is untapped, possibly because it is unknown to us. I don't mean mind bending or disappearing elephants magic. I mean mountain moving power that simply requires us to speak it or think it. The abiltiy to speak into existance things that weren't but are. There lies within each of us the ability to speak into existance good things or bad things. Motivation is what directs this power: why do we want something to exist? Negative reasons will create negative outcomes. Positive reasons will create positive outcomes. Do not come here and tell me this is impossible. I won't be deterred by the blind. You see, I've proved it too many times, both the negative and the positive. I KNOW it works.
So, as I drank my coffee and pondered my story I relized that this is what Mist is all about. Two worlds and untapped, unrecognized, misused power.
We live in a world that exist within worlds. It is a world suspended between two worlds and our world is a mixture of both. We hang between the two and are faced every day with the choice of which world we would like to inhabit.
One is a place of pollution, violence, anger, frustrations, murder, deceit, avarice, extortion, and disrespect. This world glows with a light that, from a distance, is alluring, exciting our senses. It is filled with unknown wonders; sights and sounds that please the eyes and ears and gorge the body. We are drawn to it's glittering promise, deeper and deeper until we step across the boundary into the unknown, a place that suddenly reveals that it is dark and frightening. We don't know how we got there and we can't find our way out. Every attempt sends us back into the dark. Only once in a while may we escape. But it has left it's mark.
The other world is a place of beauty, peace, harmony, respect and honor, a place where love abounds and brotherhood is in the air we breath. Every need is met. We have only to ask. It isn't shinning glittering towers of commerce, superficial decoration, and empty promises. It isn't a place of gluttony of the body but of satisfied spirit and mind. It is a place that glows with a light far brighter than any man can generate because the pollution doesn't exist. And once in awhile, we find our way there. We step across the boundary, into that world that seems at first glance, plain and untouched by progress. But, if we stay long enough, we realize that here is rest and sustenance that is constant. Here is peace and safety. None go lacking. We realize that this world is real and we can stay as long as we desire. We can leave whenever we want. And some do.
We are drawn to the one by our eyes. We are drawn to the other by our hearts. Occassionally, there are those who step into the real world with only one goal, to steal the hearts and draw us back through the Mist. It is a choice for each of us. How we choose will determine our course for eternity.
Choose wisely.
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Worth a Thousand Words
We set off along the path that lead down to the church. The snow crunched beneath our feet and our breath hung in the air in clouds. The night was filled with that hush that one only hears during a heavy snowfall. Around us the trees creaked beneath the weight of snow and ice in their branches. Occasionally, we heard a snapping sound followed by a crash as a limb gave way beneath its load. Everything has a breaking point, I thought.
My heavy coat gave me a sense of warmth but everywhere the air touched was chilled. My cheeks felt frozen and my lips numb. The tip of my nose tingled. I pulled my scarf up, around my face, leaving only my eyes so I didn't fall down. I'd probably be all right if I did fall. The ground was like a feather bed.
We came out of the trees just west of the church, near Harper’s pasture. The moon was above the horizon and glowed in an opening in the clouds. I could see the church on the left and the Cooper place on the right. Their tall spruce decorated in colored lights that glowed against the snow frosted branches and turned the snow beneath it into a multicolored carpet from an some exotic land. Lights glowed from every window of the Cooper home and I could see Mr. Cooper's car in back. He must have closed the drug store early tonight because of the weather. Not many would venture out on a night as cold as this. They were a large family with half dozen children. Always when I walked by I could hear laughter or the wild chattering of playing children. It was a happy place. Even the snowman, in his scarf and slouch hat, wore a grin and waved.
I slipped my gloved hand into the crook of Tom's arm as we passed the end of the rail fence around the pasture. He smiled down at me and my heart leaped from the highest peak. He could still do that to me, after all this time. I slipped on a patch of ice and he steadied me, still smiling.
The blanket of snow that lay over roofs and mountainside alike reflecting the silver of the moon created a strangely comforting landscape. I looked up the road and in the distance, I could see the lights of the other village houses along the hillside. We lived on the edge of town and from here, the warm, soft glow was as peaceful and serene as ever a place could be. We walked in silence past the church and as I hugged Tom’s arm, I thought there was no place on earth I’d rather be tonight than in this snow covered place, listening to an angel’s voice sing of the new Savior of the World.
Saturday, December 15, 2007
In the Still of the Night
It is quiet in the house. There is no one at home but me. I've spent the day doing good deeds for others, getting home around 10:30 p.m.. I've bought gifts for one set of children and my grand-daughter and my spouse. I still have one son to go and a birthday gift for the other. He was born on Dec 30th, an annoyance to both of us. And I have to get my sister something special. She shopped with me tonight.
But now, the house is quiet and only the clicking of my keyboard can be heard. Rain has fallen all day and it is a small, cold drizzle at the moment. The promised snow storm has not appeared but there are a few flurries here and there. I suppose we should be thankful but I do love snow. We Southern Belles view it as a special treat designed just for us.
I've not been writing for several days now. I've been restless and unable to forment a thought. So, here I sit, in the stillness of the midnight trying to convey what I am thinking. There is something about midnight that I really love. I tend to be a night owl and this is one of my favorite times. The world has all drifted off on whatever dreams they dream. The racous glare of the day has slipped into a quiet darkness that I can wrap about my shoulders like a velvet cloak and stroll along silent streets that echo the sound of my heels. Or I can simply sit here, in my dimly lit study and write about the cushion of darkness that buffers me from the harsh reality of the daylight.
Perhaps that is what I really like about the midnight hour. All the troubles of the day, the trials and tribulations of dealing with people or just the trauma of survival are somehow lessened in the down-filled darkness where the gentle twinkle of stars and a silver orb lull one into a sense of peace.
Dreams are dreamt at night because the intrusion of reality is weakened at night and the mind can race along paths never opened in the light of day. God is closer at night. I think it is why more people die at night. It's true, you know, they do. Ask the hospitals. I don't believe they are giving up because the darkenss overwhelms them. I think their bodies struggle in the light of day to survive but with the coming of midnight, they find that, in the stillnes of the night, is a sense of peace that becomes a stronger draw than survival.
I'm going to bed soon and dream some dream that will be driven back by the rising of the sun. Another day to survive until the still of the night returns.
But now, the house is quiet and only the clicking of my keyboard can be heard. Rain has fallen all day and it is a small, cold drizzle at the moment. The promised snow storm has not appeared but there are a few flurries here and there. I suppose we should be thankful but I do love snow. We Southern Belles view it as a special treat designed just for us.
I've not been writing for several days now. I've been restless and unable to forment a thought. So, here I sit, in the stillness of the midnight trying to convey what I am thinking. There is something about midnight that I really love. I tend to be a night owl and this is one of my favorite times. The world has all drifted off on whatever dreams they dream. The racous glare of the day has slipped into a quiet darkness that I can wrap about my shoulders like a velvet cloak and stroll along silent streets that echo the sound of my heels. Or I can simply sit here, in my dimly lit study and write about the cushion of darkness that buffers me from the harsh reality of the daylight.
Perhaps that is what I really like about the midnight hour. All the troubles of the day, the trials and tribulations of dealing with people or just the trauma of survival are somehow lessened in the down-filled darkness where the gentle twinkle of stars and a silver orb lull one into a sense of peace.
Dreams are dreamt at night because the intrusion of reality is weakened at night and the mind can race along paths never opened in the light of day. God is closer at night. I think it is why more people die at night. It's true, you know, they do. Ask the hospitals. I don't believe they are giving up because the darkenss overwhelms them. I think their bodies struggle in the light of day to survive but with the coming of midnight, they find that, in the stillnes of the night, is a sense of peace that becomes a stronger draw than survival.
I'm going to bed soon and dream some dream that will be driven back by the rising of the sun. Another day to survive until the still of the night returns.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Top of the Hill
Ah, Wednesday. Standing at the top of the hill looking down is an awesome sight. If I look behind me there is a pile of stuff back there. Best be careful and not tip over or I'll end up back at the bottom!
But forward, well, it's a steep road down. I don't have much head for heights anymore. (Me the tree climbler and roof runner. That's another day's story.) And there is just as much stuff on the downhill side as there was on the uphill side. Thing just go faster on the downhill side. I just have to check the wheels on my skates. Yep, they are running smooth as silk. It isn't my equipment but the debris in the road that is the killer!
We had a case manager leave and they distributed her case load between the five remaining case managers. That leave me with 365 case files. In additiion to the landlord accounts. I've getting buried quickly, particularly since the girl who left has files no one wanted because they are such a mess.
However, God gave me this job a long time ago and as long as I am here I guess He still wants me to do it. So, {rolling up sleeves and pushing back hair} here goes.
Several have said a prayer for me and I do appreciate it. My husband suggested I stay home today and it sounded nice. But no sick time! So, here I am at the top of the hill. My pain level has been horrible. My back is in pretty bad shape today. It has been building for several days and last night it was at the point I considered going to the doctor. Shoulders are bad, particularly the left. My knees, oddly enough, are much better. I guess the Y helped on Monday night. They just are very stiff. I lower legs feel as if I have shin splints but LOL, I haven't done anything to cause it! I need to go back tonight but my back really is not good at all and has spread from the lower back all the way to my shoulders. What is it like? Hmmmm, someone took a rolling pin and pounded me on the back with it, all but the place in my lower back that feels like a knife is sticking in it.
Ok enough of the complaints. I hate whining over aches and pains but some days this is the only place to pour it out. And some things are better for you if you pour it out rather than keep in it.
I got my leave approved for Christmas. I have 11, count them, ELEVEN days off. I just took three vacation between Christmas and New Years. When I get off on December 21, I don't have to be back here until January 2, 2008!
I wasn't going to take it because of all the work but I finally decided it was going to be here whether or not I am here. It isn't going anywhere. So, I'll be taking that vacation time.
So, with all that said, I'll start my journey down the hill. Someone move that log out of the way! Here I go! YeeeeeeeeeHaaaaaaaawwwwwww!
But forward, well, it's a steep road down. I don't have much head for heights anymore. (Me the tree climbler and roof runner. That's another day's story.) And there is just as much stuff on the downhill side as there was on the uphill side. Thing just go faster on the downhill side. I just have to check the wheels on my skates. Yep, they are running smooth as silk. It isn't my equipment but the debris in the road that is the killer!
We had a case manager leave and they distributed her case load between the five remaining case managers. That leave me with 365 case files. In additiion to the landlord accounts. I've getting buried quickly, particularly since the girl who left has files no one wanted because they are such a mess.
However, God gave me this job a long time ago and as long as I am here I guess He still wants me to do it. So, {rolling up sleeves and pushing back hair} here goes.
Several have said a prayer for me and I do appreciate it. My husband suggested I stay home today and it sounded nice. But no sick time! So, here I am at the top of the hill. My pain level has been horrible. My back is in pretty bad shape today. It has been building for several days and last night it was at the point I considered going to the doctor. Shoulders are bad, particularly the left. My knees, oddly enough, are much better. I guess the Y helped on Monday night. They just are very stiff. I lower legs feel as if I have shin splints but LOL, I haven't done anything to cause it! I need to go back tonight but my back really is not good at all and has spread from the lower back all the way to my shoulders. What is it like? Hmmmm, someone took a rolling pin and pounded me on the back with it, all but the place in my lower back that feels like a knife is sticking in it.
Ok enough of the complaints. I hate whining over aches and pains but some days this is the only place to pour it out. And some things are better for you if you pour it out rather than keep in it.
I got my leave approved for Christmas. I have 11, count them, ELEVEN days off. I just took three vacation between Christmas and New Years. When I get off on December 21, I don't have to be back here until January 2, 2008!
I wasn't going to take it because of all the work but I finally decided it was going to be here whether or not I am here. It isn't going anywhere. So, I'll be taking that vacation time.
So, with all that said, I'll start my journey down the hill. Someone move that log out of the way! Here I go! YeeeeeeeeeHaaaaaaaawwwwwww!
Monday, December 10, 2007
Beyond Endurance
Somehow a rainy Monday is a nice way to start a week. I always like waking up on Monday to rain. I know, that's crazy but it seems to me such an awful day must have a redeeming quality if it starts with rain. There is something cozy about rain and any day with rain feels less painful.
Although, today and all weekend the rain has probably been the reason for my elevated pain levels. I have a doctor's appt this morning at my rheumatologist, not that it will do any good. I wish I could wear a heated coat.
I took four hours vacation time for this morning so I could do this appointment but probably won't need it all. I will go in to work as soon as it is over and spend the rest of the day doing work I should have done on Saturday.
I sat on the edge of my bed this morning an realized what my problem, well at least one of my problems is. I've been praying for strength for years. And you know, I have people tell me, "You are so strong. I don't know how you handle all you are handling. I couldn't do it." I realized, sitting on the edge of my rumpled bed in my p.j.s that the way you gain strength is by adding weight. Each time you reach a comfort level, you add weight. Once you can lift that weight comfrotably, you add more. Duh! Basic weight training.
The strange thing about all this realization stuff is that I went to bed praying to understand what was wrong. I was asking for answers to questions to which God never seems to respond. But when I woke up, the answer was there. You see, every time something got heavy, I'd pray for strength. The load only got heavier. I never prayed for patience, but when you are carrying a heavy load, patience is required so it is a secondary effect of the training. It takes time to build strength. Patience isn't a problem when strength is the goal.
It was at that point in my revelation that I decided now's a good time to stop praying for strength. I'm tired. I don't want to lift any more weight. I want someone else to carry the load for a while. I don't want to bear anyone's burden. I don't want to solve anyone's problem. I don't want to carry anyone. I want a place to rest and sit down while someone else gets strong, I don't even want to be strong anymore. Every weight trainer has a limit. You can work toward that limit and even strive to go beyond it but there is a point in time when the body builder reaches a maximum limit. They can do irreparable damage trying to go beyond their enduance.
So now, my body is breaking down from the weight. I can't carry any thing else. The result of too much weight is stress. The stress is probably the biggest factor in the pain I have. When I am off work for any length of time, I feel better in 24 hours. When I take a vacation from my family I feel better in 24 hours.
So, I guess I got an answer. I don't know if it is what I wanted to hear but at least I understand the cause. I just don't know how to fix any of it. Story of my life. When that happens, I've always asked for strength.
Not today.
Although, today and all weekend the rain has probably been the reason for my elevated pain levels. I have a doctor's appt this morning at my rheumatologist, not that it will do any good. I wish I could wear a heated coat.
I took four hours vacation time for this morning so I could do this appointment but probably won't need it all. I will go in to work as soon as it is over and spend the rest of the day doing work I should have done on Saturday.
I sat on the edge of my bed this morning an realized what my problem, well at least one of my problems is. I've been praying for strength for years. And you know, I have people tell me, "You are so strong. I don't know how you handle all you are handling. I couldn't do it." I realized, sitting on the edge of my rumpled bed in my p.j.s that the way you gain strength is by adding weight. Each time you reach a comfort level, you add weight. Once you can lift that weight comfrotably, you add more. Duh! Basic weight training.
The strange thing about all this realization stuff is that I went to bed praying to understand what was wrong. I was asking for answers to questions to which God never seems to respond. But when I woke up, the answer was there. You see, every time something got heavy, I'd pray for strength. The load only got heavier. I never prayed for patience, but when you are carrying a heavy load, patience is required so it is a secondary effect of the training. It takes time to build strength. Patience isn't a problem when strength is the goal.
It was at that point in my revelation that I decided now's a good time to stop praying for strength. I'm tired. I don't want to lift any more weight. I want someone else to carry the load for a while. I don't want to bear anyone's burden. I don't want to solve anyone's problem. I don't want to carry anyone. I want a place to rest and sit down while someone else gets strong, I don't even want to be strong anymore. Every weight trainer has a limit. You can work toward that limit and even strive to go beyond it but there is a point in time when the body builder reaches a maximum limit. They can do irreparable damage trying to go beyond their enduance.
So now, my body is breaking down from the weight. I can't carry any thing else. The result of too much weight is stress. The stress is probably the biggest factor in the pain I have. When I am off work for any length of time, I feel better in 24 hours. When I take a vacation from my family I feel better in 24 hours.
So, I guess I got an answer. I don't know if it is what I wanted to hear but at least I understand the cause. I just don't know how to fix any of it. Story of my life. When that happens, I've always asked for strength.
Not today.
Saturday, December 8, 2007
Achey, Breaky Body
I've been busy all week and today I was supposed to work. However, when I woke at 7 a.m. to get up, I couldn't. I hurt all over. I rolled over and thought I'd go in a bit later, when I could move. I got up around 9 a.m. but still felt terrible so I just lay down on the sofa and went back to sleep. I slept until noon! Lazy bag of achy bones.
Anyway, I got up and did a load of dishes and then went out shopping for a very short time, looking for the kids Christmas presents. I bought for Sarah but found nothing else for anyone. I just don't know what to get them. I came home, and then my sister came by around 7 p.m. and we went to Sears where I preceeded to buy the skirts I needed. Bought four and got them all at about half off. Still too expensive but at least I have some things to wear to work for a bit until I can get others. Nice to see I could wear a 16 in a skirt. My top is still pushing an 18+.
Well, it is after midnight and I am going to get to bed. I still ache in places but I believe cold wet weather is my enemy. I have a heating pad in the bed to warm where I put my feet and I think this has helped me in the mornings since my feet are not hurting as much. Go figure.
Night all!
Anyway, I got up and did a load of dishes and then went out shopping for a very short time, looking for the kids Christmas presents. I bought for Sarah but found nothing else for anyone. I just don't know what to get them. I came home, and then my sister came by around 7 p.m. and we went to Sears where I preceeded to buy the skirts I needed. Bought four and got them all at about half off. Still too expensive but at least I have some things to wear to work for a bit until I can get others. Nice to see I could wear a 16 in a skirt. My top is still pushing an 18+.
Well, it is after midnight and I am going to get to bed. I still ache in places but I believe cold wet weather is my enemy. I have a heating pad in the bed to warm where I put my feet and I think this has helped me in the mornings since my feet are not hurting as much. Go figure.
Night all!
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
Autum Leaves
It finally arrived. The cold, biting chill of Winter arrived on my doorstep, hautily huffing and puffing its way in, just like a rude vagabond looking for a handout. The pouring rain Sunday was a tearful Autumn bidding farewell and by Sunday night, Old Man Winter had arrived in full force and began to unpack his bags. Until then, he'd only stuck his nose in brifely to find Autumn stubbornly clinging. It was a sad parting and I will miss Autumn. But I'm certain she'll return. Spring will arrive and run the old man out of town on a rail.
National Novel Writing Month ended just before Autumn caught the last train. So, all in all, it was an exciting month for me. I miss NaNoWriMo, too.
So, here we are, in the midst of a chill following the thrill. I find myself excited about moving forward on some things. I want to work on Mist and move the story forward. I also want to pull out a story I started some time ago that has morphed a bit. It's called Dark Mountains and my unnamed 2006 NaNoWriMo is the sequel that. So, a lot of stuff to work on in that department.
I also need to make some clothes. I have reached a point that I'm beginning to wear out the skirts I bought. . . well, I'm embarrassed to say how long ago, but let's just say they are no longer fit to work in. In my job I have to look fairly professional and I wear black skirts a lot. So, must either buy them or make them. I want to sew for Sarah so I can sew for me while I am at it.
Christmas is weeks away and I have to put up the tree. I suspect I won't have any Christmas time off. I asked for three days but even if they are approved, I may not take it. I will be completely out of vacation time if I do and I'm not comfortable with that. We'll just have to see.
Thus begins December. I'll be busy and ready for the approaching new year. I suspect it to be a year of changes and surprises. Keep dropping by and see what happens.
National Novel Writing Month ended just before Autumn caught the last train. So, all in all, it was an exciting month for me. I miss NaNoWriMo, too.
So, here we are, in the midst of a chill following the thrill. I find myself excited about moving forward on some things. I want to work on Mist and move the story forward. I also want to pull out a story I started some time ago that has morphed a bit. It's called Dark Mountains and my unnamed 2006 NaNoWriMo is the sequel that. So, a lot of stuff to work on in that department.
I also need to make some clothes. I have reached a point that I'm beginning to wear out the skirts I bought. . . well, I'm embarrassed to say how long ago, but let's just say they are no longer fit to work in. In my job I have to look fairly professional and I wear black skirts a lot. So, must either buy them or make them. I want to sew for Sarah so I can sew for me while I am at it.
Christmas is weeks away and I have to put up the tree. I suspect I won't have any Christmas time off. I asked for three days but even if they are approved, I may not take it. I will be completely out of vacation time if I do and I'm not comfortable with that. We'll just have to see.
Thus begins December. I'll be busy and ready for the approaching new year. I suspect it to be a year of changes and surprises. Keep dropping by and see what happens.
Monday, December 3, 2007
T'is The Season
It is so neat the way everyone is trying on new holiday backgrounds in their blogs. Some of us are copying each other's backgrounds. For women, it is a bit annoying for another woman to show up somewhere wearing the same dress as another. I hope copying blog backgrounds doesn't cause the same annoyance. The first time it happened to me, my nose was a but out of joint but then I realized that all these nice extras multiply provides is why I love it. And the people creating the backgrounds are willingly sharing them. How generous to give your work away! So I went an copied someone else's background.
This morning, I visited my friend, Skeeter's blog and found she was dealing with the old Christmas tree/pagan idol thing. It is an interesting argument and one that has been around for decades. I think she and her husband have worked it out.
We had a tree at Christmas all my life but I was never under any impression other than my family celebrates Christmas because it is the day we honor the birth of Jesus Christ, our savior. We can't know exactly what day he was born on so, someone used a day, widely celebrated at the time, to mark the most momentous event in history. I think that overshadowed whatever the pagan ritual was back then.
But there will always be people who feel strongly about Christmas trees. Not too long ago I found that Christmas trees are actually mentioned in the Bible. Oh, they aren't called that but when you read it you won't have any problem understanding what it is talking about. Frankly, I always check the Word for any confusion I have on any matter. I've read all the other scriptures people tout as proof that God hates Christmas trees and that to have one you are worshiping an idol. I don't particularly feel that way.
But for those of you confused by the issues, for those who think they know the all the answers, for those who haven't decided but kind of lean toward getting rid of tree, for those who haven't decided but kind of lean toward keeping or getting a tree here is what Jeremiah says. I used the New King James Version but you can take a quick trip over to Biblegateway.com and use any translation you like.
Jeremiah 10:1-5
1 Hear the word which the LORD speaks to you, O house of Israel.
2 Thus says the LORD:
“ Do not learn the way of the Gentiles;
Do not be dismayed at the signs of heaven,
For the Gentiles are dismayed at them.
3 For the customs of the peoples are futile;
For one cuts a tree from the forest,
The work of the hands of the workman, with the ax.
4 They decorate it with silver and gold;
They fasten it with nails and hammers
So that it will not topple.
5 They are upright, like a palm tree,
And they cannot speak;
They must be carried,
Because they cannot go by themselves.
Do not be afraid of them,
For they cannot do evil,
Nor can they do any good.”
Jeremiah had seen the trees, too. To him it was just a silly tree, he said futile which mean pointless, with no power to do anything. Of course, maybe they didn't plug their's in...
So for those of you against trees, that's all right. Just stop quoting what you think is a prohibition. You can put up all your nativity scenes and let the world know what Jesus Christ means to you.
Of course, if you insist that your intrepretation of "Christmas tree sin" is right, you might want to consider another scripture, just to be totally right. Those little nativity scenes you put up instead of a tree... they are graven images. The Bible is pretty clear on those.
Personally, it is those stupid blowups of Frost the Snowman with the lightbulb inside that I find a sin.
This morning, I visited my friend, Skeeter's blog and found she was dealing with the old Christmas tree/pagan idol thing. It is an interesting argument and one that has been around for decades. I think she and her husband have worked it out.
We had a tree at Christmas all my life but I was never under any impression other than my family celebrates Christmas because it is the day we honor the birth of Jesus Christ, our savior. We can't know exactly what day he was born on so, someone used a day, widely celebrated at the time, to mark the most momentous event in history. I think that overshadowed whatever the pagan ritual was back then.
But there will always be people who feel strongly about Christmas trees. Not too long ago I found that Christmas trees are actually mentioned in the Bible. Oh, they aren't called that but when you read it you won't have any problem understanding what it is talking about. Frankly, I always check the Word for any confusion I have on any matter. I've read all the other scriptures people tout as proof that God hates Christmas trees and that to have one you are worshiping an idol. I don't particularly feel that way.
But for those of you confused by the issues, for those who think they know the all the answers, for those who haven't decided but kind of lean toward getting rid of tree, for those who haven't decided but kind of lean toward keeping or getting a tree here is what Jeremiah says. I used the New King James Version but you can take a quick trip over to Biblegateway.com and use any translation you like.
Jeremiah 10:1-5
1 Hear the word which the LORD speaks to you, O house of Israel.
2 Thus says the LORD:
“ Do not learn the way of the Gentiles;
Do not be dismayed at the signs of heaven,
For the Gentiles are dismayed at them.
3 For the customs of the peoples are futile;
For one cuts a tree from the forest,
The work of the hands of the workman, with the ax.
4 They decorate it with silver and gold;
They fasten it with nails and hammers
So that it will not topple.
5 They are upright, like a palm tree,
And they cannot speak;
They must be carried,
Because they cannot go by themselves.
Do not be afraid of them,
For they cannot do evil,
Nor can they do any good.”
Jeremiah had seen the trees, too. To him it was just a silly tree, he said futile which mean pointless, with no power to do anything. Of course, maybe they didn't plug their's in...
So for those of you against trees, that's all right. Just stop quoting what you think is a prohibition. You can put up all your nativity scenes and let the world know what Jesus Christ means to you.
Of course, if you insist that your intrepretation of "Christmas tree sin" is right, you might want to consider another scripture, just to be totally right. Those little nativity scenes you put up instead of a tree... they are graven images. The Bible is pretty clear on those.
Personally, it is those stupid blowups of Frost the Snowman with the lightbulb inside that I find a sin.
Sunday, December 2, 2007
Uneventful Weekend
The weekend is over and was rather uneventful. I am so glad I was able to go to church tonight. I didn't get to go this morning as I intended. I kept Sarah last night and she kept me up most of the night. Every hour she woke up crying and I had to get up and settle her down. I put her to bed with me and she rolled all over the bed when she slept! She's busy even in her sleep! So, by 9 a.m. I was exhausted and could barely sit up. I got up and thought about church but I fed Sarah and put her down on the floor to play and I went to sleep on the couch with her in front of me. She eventually came and climbed on top of me and went to sleep, too.
But I did go tonight. I was so good to be back. I was surprised when my assistant pastor read an email he got last week. When he started it I thought, I've read that then I realized, it was my blog post about Black Friday and called A House of Worship! I chuckled but kept quiet. At the end he told everyone who wrote it. It was very nice to hear someone appreciate something you wrote.
After church, my son was telling me that he and the sound guy were listening and David told the sound guy, "Someone has too much time on their hands." At the end, when they told who wrote it, David said, "Oh." I cracked up when I heard it. It was so like David to speak first and ask questions later.
I rained all day today,hard and I just knew that it was going to turn cold. It has! It was 55 this today and rather warm when we got to church at 6 p.m.. Right now, it is 36! I will hate having to go in to work in this cold!
Well, I'm signing off for now. Hope you all stay very warm and cozy and have a great week.
But I did go tonight. I was so good to be back. I was surprised when my assistant pastor read an email he got last week. When he started it I thought, I've read that then I realized, it was my blog post about Black Friday and called A House of Worship! I chuckled but kept quiet. At the end he told everyone who wrote it. It was very nice to hear someone appreciate something you wrote.
After church, my son was telling me that he and the sound guy were listening and David told the sound guy, "Someone has too much time on their hands." At the end, when they told who wrote it, David said, "Oh." I cracked up when I heard it. It was so like David to speak first and ask questions later.
I rained all day today,hard and I just knew that it was going to turn cold. It has! It was 55 this today and rather warm when we got to church at 6 p.m.. Right now, it is 36! I will hate having to go in to work in this cold!
Well, I'm signing off for now. Hope you all stay very warm and cozy and have a great week.
Saturday, December 1, 2007
Glory Be!
I got my car back on Thursday with the transmission fixed. I can now go back to church! I have not been in a month and I miss it.
So, with that said, I'm off to bed.
So, with that said, I'm off to bed.
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