Another Catch Up

 Well, you all know for me things go up and down. Dramatically. Lately, I've been struggling with what I believe is a return of the PTSD from when Jerry died in 2009. I didn't know that could happen. I think it has been going on since last fall, when things go so bad. 

The death of my aunt last May. In August, Mike suffered a stroke, and the hospital kept him for two weeks before he came home to stay with me for another two. My sister had foot surgery where the thought hit was going to be amputated in September. I spent the next six weeks taking care of her. In October, my body went into revolt, and I ended up collapsing with pain and emotional trauma I couldn't explain. In hindsight, I suppose it isn't surprising. 

In November, I started writing like a fiend and having flashbacks to things I wasn't able to handle on top of everything else. They gave me a medicine that helped wake up my brain, and I suspect that allowed the PTSD to resurface. It took eight months of that to realize that was probably what was happening and that it was probably my aunt's death that triggered it.  

This week I had another realization. I've probably had PTSD since I was a child. I had several traumatic events happen to me over the course of my life. In the last month, I've had flashbacks to all of them. It's crazy. And stressful. 

Other than all that drama, I'm .... okay. 

Yeah. 

I'm okay.

For now. 

Today I'm going to the gym. In the last couple of months, I've returned twice. We had a nice cool day last week, and I went to the cemetery to walk there. I walked 1.22 mile, so that was good. I like to do that, but my feet were sore the next day. RA, the gift that keeps on giving. I'm not crazy about the gym. However, I need the exercise.  

And to that end, I stop here.