Another Cloudy Day

As you can see, we have another gloomy day in Evansville. There's been a bit of rain, but I don't know when it fell. The air is much cooler; in fact, my phone tells me it is 74° F right now. That's astounding and I wish it was dry outside so I could sit on the patio.

Today has been one of those unproductive days. I made my bed and read my Bible a bit. That's it. Talked for probably an hour on the phone with my adopted daughter (my granddaughter's mom). 

I am getting ready to get some lunch but wanted to stop and do another post. I have been so negligent of the blogs because health issues kept me down. I'm a very depressing person! So rather than constantly rant on about it, I let things slide. Who wants to hear about someone else's problems, anyway?

My goal this afternoon? Do some editing on John's novel. Do some writing on my novel. Get out of the house for an hour just to feel like I'm free to do so. Maybe stop by Lic's for ice cream? Maybe read one of the books I have lying around. 

Lofty goals. All this IF I'm not too sleepy to move. 

A Day in Wet Trenches

All's quiet on the front, but we're still hunkered in the trenches for the duration. Rain came in the night and soaked my patch of ground. We're sick of rations, sick of the quiet, sick of looking at one another. The occasional potshot is not enough to keep us interested. We have seen the enemy. He is us. 

Sorry, that's how bad it is around here. I got a bit carried away, I guess, but it was working for me.

I woke at 6:30 this morning, and it was pouring down rain. I could get up with minimal pain in my back but it feels as if the shooting pains in my legs are flaring up, not full force, but it's a kind of "I'm waiting!" sensation. 

Mike came and took me to the lab for blood work. He can drop me at the door and save me a very long and painful walk from the parking lot. It's agony the couple of times I've done it prior to my shots. Even from the lab to the lobby was mildly uncomfortable in my hip region today.

I don't like bloodwork. Really. For me, it is the phlebotomist fishing expedition. They can't find the veins and have to dig around. Then, they start over in the other arm or a new spot. Same progress. In the event they find a vein, keeping it flowing is the next problem. Not fun. It isn't their fault, just my deep slippery veins. 

Today I had a young woman who admitted about halfway through that her training was incomplete. It had already become abundantly clear something wasn't right, so it was no surprise. She did an outstanding job on the stick but had trouble keeping the line open. It took so long some blood clotted, making it unusable. Yes, I have to go back for a repeat of a couple test next week. I even drank a lot of water when I got up to ensure the blood would be fluid enough to make it quick. I didn't count on a slow draw. 

Once back home, I had to go back to sleep. I couldn't stay awake. On days like this, that's not unusual. Fatigue plagues me and gloomy weather seems to make it worse. I woke around noon. 

It's very hard for me to feel unproductive. I stayed busy all my life, even when I stayed home with the kids. Cooking and cleaning for four people, sewing clothes for three of us, refinishing old furniture meant my days were full. Then, college with two school-aged children kept me running. Next, teenagers, a husband, and a job rounded out my career. A busy life filled with excitement. Only after Jerry died and I retired did things slow down, and I've hated it. Unfortunately, I can't go back to work with the physical problems I have now. 

The gym was helping me feel better, and I could do more, but since the back problems began, followed by a pandemic, I can tell I'm declining in strength. I just finished a late lunch and I'm about to wind this up and see if I can get something accomplished. 

I just got the yarn in that I ordered so I can finish my new project. I'm rather excited about that. It is so lovely, and the photo doesn't do it justice. The yarn soft and sparkles in the light. I don't know what I'm doing with it yet but it could be a blanket or a shawl. Think it would make a beautiful Christmas shawl or Valentine's Day shawl. 

Have a lovely day, wherever you are and spend it doing something you love. Thank you for reading. 

Don't Poke the Bear

Good morning, Peeps! I'm feeling better after my lumbar injections. No electric shooting pains down my legs when I walk. Although, I had pain trying to get up this morning; it took about an hour for that pain to subside and minus the shooting leg pains it was bearable after a few moments. 

I must tell this because I believe silly people need to know I have heard their voice. Also, I don't suffer fools gladly. It seems someone reads this blog who felt a driving urge to stir up trouble yesterday. They sent a photo of the blog to the ex-dil, and it pissed her off that I mentioned the problems Sarah had endured while in her home. Believe me when I say I used restraint in my comments and the details. It was far worse than the two sentences I shared. I omitted a certain girl's abuse of her every summer. I haven't mentioned her clothes in Walmart bags, no furniture in her room, drugs she needed and not provided and inappropriate medication, of finding her sick, coughing, and running a 102 degree fever but nothing done to check the fever or stop the cough for two weeks till I arrived and had to go buy thermometer, Tylenol, and cough medicine! Never mind the things said to her. But now I have mentioned them. See how that works? Don't poke the bear.

Let me clarify my position on this blog. This is a public, but it is MY PERSONAL JOURNAL where I share pieces of my life, and sometimes I vent. If you read it, you'll get offended sometimes. You don't have to agree. In fact, you don't have to read it if it bugs you at all. All three of my blogs have the same policy. And if you poke this bear, I will respond.

I don't exclude readers unless they're trolls, scammers, or advertisers. That said, everyone else is welcome, even people like this unknown person, who isn't actually a gracious person at all. They have to know this blog is public. Yet they felt this driving need to deliver it personally to someone they knew would not be happy with it. Why someone's "friend" would deliberately hurt their "friend" by such actions, is beyond me, but do I care? Certainly not. They're not my "friend". Thankfully.

Honestly, I love when my blog is so good that people share it. So, dear friend, please share this one too! Far and wide. That's advertisement. Had you used restraint, fewer people would now know about this because only a handful of people read it. Usually friends and relatives. Your secret actions force me to respond on Facebook and here, thus drawing further attention to it. You could have contacted me directly by email and ask for details, and I'd have been able to clarify it to avoid confusion in private. Alas, this is what people like you want: a response so they can pass that along to hurt someone else. Here you go, sweetie.  

My next point here is if you're not specifically named, and no one knows who you are regarding my posts, why would you risk exposing yourself and the other party involved, especially if you don't want people to know? Only family knew anything and close personal friends about the situation. Until now. 

Be assured, the information is accurate. I don't lie. I have proof. If I did what a responsible grandmother should have done, I'd have reported it to local CPS authorities in NOVEMBER when I was in that house and saw a neglected sick child! I didn't. I went home and prayed for God to step in and stop the problem. I still could report it, but she's safe now, although damaged. She'll be seeing a counselor as soon as insurance is available. But God took care of it. Both my son and my granddaughter are out of it. She's recovering and has said she's learned a lot from a terrible experience.

I would advise you, dear "friend" and all parties concerned, don't push my buttons anymore. Pushing buttons can set in motion events that won't be pleasant for anyone. I have nothing to fear from doing what I should have done when I realized the extent of the problem. I was gracious enough to resort to spiritual means rather than courts. 

Oh, and if I were you, I wouldn't poke anymore bears. 

What in the World?

I'm still alive, barely, but still kicking. As you can tell, I've been off this blog for a while. In fact, I haven't really blogged much in either of the other two blogs. Mainly because with Covid-19 has put a wrench in everything.

My granddaughter moved back here on March 13, and the Lockdown happened. The stepmother, they we all thought loved her and wanted her there, kicked her out and told my son to go with her. He brought her home and had to go back because he has a job in another city there. The divorce is final, and he is moving to Ohio for another job. So she'll be here for a little while.

She's dealing with some depression. There was some verbal abuse and the step grandmother was physically abusive. But we've not been able to get insurance so we can get her to a doctor for her ADD meds for school and some other health issues. Covid has slowed things down.

I have been going to Planet Fitness since last summer. I lost 17 lbs. Covid shut that down and I've gained it back. The early part of the year, I began having severe low back problems. Severe pain, unable to turn over at night, or get up without excruciating pain shooting down my legs. Some days I can hardly walk other, I am just in pain so bad I don't want to walk. I got my first lumbar injection yesterday, and I didn't wake up in agony and I could walk this morning. 

I'm homeschooling Sarah during this disaster in the making. At the moment, we're on hiatus from it, so we both get a break. She's got some academic issues but she's don't pretty good despite that. She does need her meds though, and that is a problem. 

Another thing I've been doing is editing a book for a friend. I'm really enjoying that part of writing. Although, I always feel terrible when I slash people's work apart. He's a good writer, and the story has potential with the right changes. My word isn't law. I learned, while editing for friends in college, to say that upfront. People will do what they are comfortable with and if it differs from my opinion, that's fine. I am only offering advice. And I could be wrong. I don't think I usually am. I know good writing and I know when something doesn't work. I am not editing for a lot of grammar and usage so much as what doesn't work, poor or awkward constructions, redundancy, and poor flow. It is a lot of fun but my fatigue is always giving me trouble. 

There has been little of my own writing going on, but the editing triggers me. I have done more that I was doing. I feel so good when I write, but when you can't stay awake, it is difficult to form logical sequences.

My RA seems to be stable, mostly. I am having problems with my hands though. Might be the increase in inflammation in my back triggering that. Or the weather. There's been a lot of weather systems blowing around.

Also been clearing out stuff and putting up shelving. Mike has helped a lot with that. I have shelves in the laundry room. After 30 years! I love it. Now I need to patch holes and paint it. If I can get the back working and pain free, I think I can do it. I have a new shelf in the living room for the tv to stand on, like a mantle without a fireplace. I love that and it will give me more floor space. I'm going to put up some small shelves behind the living room door for my knick-knacks and photos. There's just enough room for 4 inch shelves, and that's just the right size. This wall is the longest unbroken wall in the room and will be a focal point with photos and special items. I love the idea.

Once this is done, my smallest bedroom will be clear of stuff, and I'm converting it to a sewing room... again. LOL. I have my desk and a table I want in there. There is a single bed and so it will be close but doable, I think. I'm hoping to get some sewing done soon. I always loved it.

Another issue has been my ADD like symptoms. I can't be sure what is fibro, stress, and RA related. I'm exhausted most of the time. Not the good tired you get from doing jobs. A mind numbing fatigue that feels as if you simply can't stand up on your feet. Every muscle, every nerve, every mental process feels as if you're being dragged down by weights and you're drowning in fatigue. I hate it because it causes depressive episodes when you realize how much time you've lost.

So, in a nutshell, that's what in the world has been happening. I think I've managed to catch up a bit. I hope so. I don't even know who reads this. If you do, please give me a wave in the comments. It does matter. I share things to educate and maybe tell someone they're not alone in their despair or grief. Crazy life happens to everyone. And let's face it, I like talking. I miss that more than anything. Talk to your family, your spouse! When they're gone, you can't get that back. 

Take care. Stay safe. Be strong. God loves you. So do I.