True Story

Tonight my sister and I were just discussing fashion and how certain things just are beyond belief in discomfort. I told her that I felt like the high heel was invented during the Inquisition by men. It wasn't enough to have a woman drawn and quartered, they wanted her to strut her stuff down a runway first.


She said, "No it was a Frenchman, the Marquis de Sade."


She mentioned that the bra was another fashion item invented by men. She said, "Titzling."


I said, "He's German."


I also suggested the heels may have originated with Louis 14, he of the red heels.


She said, "That's one sick bunch."


I asked if she had seen these reports of men now wearing high heels. She said, "Lord yes, and carrying purses."


I said, "God, give me a real man wearing cowboy boots, tight jeans, and a hat."


She said, "There are some men saying the same thing."

To Much Thinking

I'm trying to figure out why, with all the busyness going one around here, that I can't keep my feelings upbeat. I have all these really great people I'm related to, associated with, acquainted with... whatever. They send me lovely notes, funny jokes, and even hugs. And I feel like crap.

No, really, not sick but just annoyingly sad. Every single thing in my life has this overlay of sad. Yes, everything. All the colors are muted by this film of sad. Do you remember seeing books, usually anatomy books, that had these pictures of the skeleton and these clear overlays with different organs and layers of the body. First the internal organs, then circulatory system, neverous systems, muscles, ligaments, dermis... If you do you're really really old. But that's what its like. All this underlying good stuff, overlain by this grey yuck called sad.

Maybe I'm over thinking this. Godliness with contentment is great gain. Well... duh! I have no quarrel with the godliness part. I try really hard. Haven't attained perfection yet. We're all in a hurry to get there without really considering what that means. Once you're done here folks, you're done! So, take your time with the perfection thing, do it right the first time.

No, its that contentment thing. Maybe that's overrated. I have no idea what it looks like really. Sometimes I think I might have clue but I then find I was mistaken. And I keep asking myself, have I always been discontent? Has there always been this habit of seeing everything with that grey film? I don't remember!

I keep saying, to myself mostly, that life was meant to be enjoyed and I need to do that. Well, I'm glad I'm not dead. Does this count?

And Friday Rolled In

Gloomy, cold, and damp. At least it isn't raining but the forecast is
for sun! Right.

I have a headache this morning, only a slight one. I didn't sleep well
last night either. I had a bad moment or two. I went to the cemetery
on my way home from work. Let me just say that cemeteries are not
cheerful places on a good day. On a cold, rainy, grey day they're even
worse. I started feeling a bit down around three o'clock. On an
average day my co-workers don't bug me a lot, because I don't let
them. But yesterday, some of them just got on my nerves and it was
silly things that I'd usually ignore.

Suffice it to say, I finished the day tired and depressed. So, hey!
Why not stop by and visit the dead! Good idea. Not.

Look, I've had a terrific two weeks of no pain, or nearly no pain.
I've been able to think and write. All the stuff going on at the
moment has got me a bit frazzled and I'm thinking that is the problem.

Forget that. I'm lying. To myself. Sleep hasn't been as good this
week. I'm not used to having people in the house and even though
they're no trouble at all obviously, house guest always change the
dynamics of your day. Still, I can deal with that. No, what I think is
happening is November. Thanksgiving is coming. Christmas is coming.
New Year is coming and January 29 is coming. NaNoWriMo is a busy time
for me and keeps me occupied but at the same time, I'm slammed with
this absence, this hole in the holiday, every blasted year.

You've all tolerated a lot over the last x number of years. I'll be
very honest here. There is this woman in my head. I don't really know
her but I see her as clearly as if she were in front of me. If I
thought about it I could probably describe what she's wearing.
Seriously. She appeared the night Jerry died. She stands with hands on
either side of her head, covering her ears, her eyes squeezed shut and
she is screaming. Some days, when it was truly bad, she came out.
These days I try really hard to ignore her. She doesn't stop. I don't
know how to make her.

I know. Can't be good. But there you go.

The Green Thing

I love this! SO true.

In the line at the store, the cashier told an older woman that she
should bring her own grocery bags because plastic bags weren't good
for the environment.

The woman apologized to him and explained, "We didn't have the green
thing back in my day."

The clerk responded, "That's our problem today. Your generation did
not care enough to save our environment."

He was right -- our generation didn't have the green thing in its day.

Back then, we returned milk bottles, soda bottles and beer bottles to
the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and
sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and
over. So they really were recycled.

But we didn't have the green thing back in our day.

We walked up stairs, because we didn't have an escalator in every
store and office building. We walked to the grocery store and didn't
climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time we had to go two
blocks.

But she was right. We didn't have the green thing in our day.

Back then, we washed the baby's diapers because we didn't have the
throw-away kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy gobbling
machine burning up 220 volts -- wind and solar power really did dry
the clothes. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or
sisters, not always brand-new clothing. But that old lady is right; we
didn't have the green thing back in our day.

Back then, we had one TV, or radio, in the house -- not a TV in every
room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief
(remember them?), not a screen the size of the state of Montana.

In the kitchen, we blended and stirred by hand because we didn't have
electric machines to do everything for us.

When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used a wadded
up old newspaper to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap.

Back then, we didn't fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut
the lawn. We used a push mower that ran on human power. We exercised
by working so we didn't need to go to a health club to run on
treadmills that operate on electricity.

But she's right; we didn't have the green thing back then.

We drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup
or a plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water.

We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we
replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the
whole razor just because the blade got dull.

But we didn't have the green thing back then.

Back then, people took the streetcar or a bus and kids rode their
bikes to school or walked instead of turning their moms into a 24-hour
taxi service.

We had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets
to power a dozen appliances. And we didn't need a computerized gadget
to receive a signal beamed from satellites 2,000 miles out in space in
order to find the nearest pizza joint.

But isn't it sad the current generation laments how wasteful we old
folks were just because we didn't have the green thing back then?

Please forward this on to another selfish old person who needs a
lesson in conservation from a smarta** young person.

The Green Thing

Oh What a Week

I can't believe I haven't posted since the first of the week! I've
been so busy. I do NOT want to rehash it.

My sister had surgery on Monday and she's been discharged today. She
seems to be doing well but of course now comes recovery time.

Nano, of course started on Monday. I've been trying to keep up with
the regional board and a Facebook group page for the region. It is a
bit hectic but I'm beginning to get a handle on it. I'm answering post
and emails and answering questions for that. I also am writing my own
novel. I'm current in my word count as of last night. Tonight, I'll
have to do my 1666 to stay current. But I'm not giving myself any
grief over this. I'll do what I can and that's it.

I have a write-in to host tomorrow night at Panera. I have a write-in
to host Saturday afternoon at Abbey Road Coffee Emporium. My region is
climbing in numbers. Two weeks ago I think it was about 340-35, have
to check my blogs. Today, it is at 389 people registered with my
region.  That's wild. Of course, I'll never see all of them but the 50
newbies could pop up at a write-in. That'd be a shocker for me! Panera
might be able to handled it and Abbey Road says they can but I dunno!

Still do not have tremendous amounts of pain. I've been saying the a
couple of days the weather was going to change and it did. The hip and
right lower back at my hip has hurt the last two days and it stormed
last night.  The hip felt as if I was begin hit with a sledge hammer.
But neck and shoulder have been just fine. Thank you, God! All over
pain levels are dramatically down. I find myself getting afraid at
every twinge. I've felt so great, so clear headed that I'm terrified
it will go away.

Finally, the lines that were expected for applications dissipated by
10:00 a.m. and now it is a trickle. I'm glad. I can get my own work
done! It was very orderly and no problems but some folks had sat out
there all night! Crazy. Doesn't make the wait any shorter. They feel
like they'll get on faster but there are other things that affect how
fast we process them. So a day won't make a considerable difference.

My friend Loraine is having surgery today. Keep her in your prayers.
She was quite upbeat about it but obviously when you're cut open it is
serious. This is a reconstruction surgery after a colonectomy. Not
sure that's a word but it is what it is. She's been doing very well
since the first surgery and now just wants it all done so she can move
on to other things that are more fun.

Everyone have a good day. It is rainy and gloomy here but the red
leaves across the street are quite cheerful!