I'm back. We got in around 11:00 p.m. last night. We left my sisters at 8 a.m., stopped in Andalusia, Alabama at 9 a.m. to see my sister-in-law and left there at 11 a.m.to continue our journey. We were delayed two hours by a terrible accident on the interstate at about the halfway mark, just north of Birmingham, Alabama at the Warrior exit. We got of at that exit and because I remembered that Warrior has three on/off ramps. I was low on fuel and so we got of and gassed up and took Hwy 31 N. to the next exit. It took us 1.5 hours to go 3 miles! Half the world go off too!
As we got back on at the third exit, they were bringing two vehicles off the interstate. It was horrible to see. One car looked as if it had rolled about 10 times and they had to use a can opener on it. At the gas station they had told us that rumor was there was one fatality. The rest of the journey was uneventful
So, I did nothing today because I'm exhausted. I will tell you about the trip in another post. We had a good time but a busy one.
Glad to be home.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Away We Go!
I'm leaving in the morning for Florida and won't return until some time Saturday night. I probably will not be online before Sunday. I hope you all have a good week. I'm hoping for comfortable, sunny weather in Florida, particularly on Thursday when we plan a family picnic at the beach.
Pray safe passage for out trip down tomorrow and back on Saturday.
Pray safe passage for out trip down tomorrow and back on Saturday.
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Down in the Dump
As you can all see from my last few posts, I've slowly been descending into a depression. I've not been able to stop it exactly. Since I don't know what caused it, I can't very well stop it. However, I did go get the St. John's Wort and it is helping.
I am, by no means, over the depression but it is lessening somewhat. I suspect it will take a couple of days to really get through the worst of it. Thank God I have enough experience with severe depression to recognize it for what it is and deal with it when necessary. At the moment, I've been at home. I've not even gotten dressed today. I just have sat playing games on the computer, reading my Bible, and chatting when I find someone to chat with.
The act of doing things that don't require deep thought, emotional reactions, or keep me thinking about anything other than my problems is best at the moment. Earlier I moved some clothes and ran across Jerry's favorite shirt, the only one I have left in the house. It still smells like him. That was not a good thing so I stopped moving clothes.
If you are not on my MSN messenger or Yahoo messenger and would like to be, let me know with a PM. I think a couple did that a while back but I don't remember now. If you did and I did not add you, remind me. Of course, you all send me PM's and comments so it isn't as if you don't talk to me.
I am going now and find something to snack on. I had lunch earlier but I think it has been several hours.
I am, by no means, over the depression but it is lessening somewhat. I suspect it will take a couple of days to really get through the worst of it. Thank God I have enough experience with severe depression to recognize it for what it is and deal with it when necessary. At the moment, I've been at home. I've not even gotten dressed today. I just have sat playing games on the computer, reading my Bible, and chatting when I find someone to chat with.
The act of doing things that don't require deep thought, emotional reactions, or keep me thinking about anything other than my problems is best at the moment. Earlier I moved some clothes and ran across Jerry's favorite shirt, the only one I have left in the house. It still smells like him. That was not a good thing so I stopped moving clothes.
If you are not on my MSN messenger or Yahoo messenger and would like to be, let me know with a PM. I think a couple did that a while back but I don't remember now. If you did and I did not add you, remind me. Of course, you all send me PM's and comments so it isn't as if you don't talk to me.
I am going now and find something to snack on. I had lunch earlier but I think it has been several hours.
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Mindless and Careless
Some days it feels as if you are just losing your mind. Or as if you are walking around with part of your limbs missing. I've never lost a limb. I've heard about phantom pain and how it nearly drives the amputee crazy at times. Now I understand much better.
Today I haven't eaten. I just remembered to take my meds about 30 minutes ago. I can't seem to do my bank statement, that I only remember this morning. It has been lying here since the first week of May. How could I not remember? I have an error somewhere and I can't find it. That is poetic justice.
I have no energy to even get out of this chair, no desire to actually do anything. Not even post to the blog.
In my case, I feel as if there is this huge vacancy in every area of my life. I try and plan interesting things that will get me out of the house, out of my chair, out of my head but when I finish, I just don't care. I really don't care if the house gets repaired. I can't do it and I don't know who can and I don't care. I need to buy groceries, not many but a few. I don't care. I need to put away the towels but I don't care if they are put away or rot in the basket. There's laundry washing and drying but it will probably sit there for hours or days. Or until I find the energy to deal with it. I don't really care.
Everyone says, "It gets better." "You're better." I really want to say you don't know what you're talking about. I just smile a mummer, "I know."
YOU DON'T KNOW. I DON'T KNOW. No one knows.
Did you ever hear the story about the little boy who stood in front of a cave and called out and was shocked when he heard a voice coming back at him. He wanted to know who it was and was told it was his own voice. He didn't believe it. He believed it was someone in the cave mocking him.
I don't hear anything. Not even the sound of my own voice.
Today I haven't eaten. I just remembered to take my meds about 30 minutes ago. I can't seem to do my bank statement, that I only remember this morning. It has been lying here since the first week of May. How could I not remember? I have an error somewhere and I can't find it. That is poetic justice.
I have no energy to even get out of this chair, no desire to actually do anything. Not even post to the blog.
In my case, I feel as if there is this huge vacancy in every area of my life. I try and plan interesting things that will get me out of the house, out of my chair, out of my head but when I finish, I just don't care. I really don't care if the house gets repaired. I can't do it and I don't know who can and I don't care. I need to buy groceries, not many but a few. I don't care. I need to put away the towels but I don't care if they are put away or rot in the basket. There's laundry washing and drying but it will probably sit there for hours or days. Or until I find the energy to deal with it. I don't really care.
Everyone says, "It gets better." "You're better." I really want to say you don't know what you're talking about. I just smile a mummer, "I know."
YOU DON'T KNOW. I DON'T KNOW. No one knows.
Did you ever hear the story about the little boy who stood in front of a cave and called out and was shocked when he heard a voice coming back at him. He wanted to know who it was and was told it was his own voice. He didn't believe it. He believed it was someone in the cave mocking him.
I don't hear anything. Not even the sound of my own voice.
Plans for The Day
I am officially off for the next 10 days. Vacation. I am sitting here posting photos and stuff in my pj's. I will get dressed soon but I was awakened at 7:30 a.m. by my son needing a ride. His brother's car wouldn't start so .... yes, vacation.
To update on a few things. I'm not going to Spain after all. They'll be gone three weeks and I'll have no where near enough vacation time for that. I'm not too disappointed. I'm being very careful with money at the moment. I did think about going to Puerto Rico. That would be fun and have that Spanish flair I'd like. I don't know if I'll get there this summer but I think I could manage that in time and money.
I do like the idea of going to England, Grammy. And I'm thinking by next summer I might be able to swing that. I never thought of traveling much outside of Jerry's military career. We loved it so much. We had plans for this summer, which fell apart, of course.
I'm going shopping for a laptop again. There are some really good sales this weekend for a lot of stuff. I just don't really want to buy anything with Vista. My programs work on XP and I don't want to buy something I have to buy new software for.
Of course, the justification I'm giving for a laptop is the opportunity it will give me to write anywhere and more often. Winter is a good story that needs to be finished. Mist MUST be finished or Alice will never speak to me again. I'd miss her far more than I'll miss Mist when it is done.
Anyway, I'm torn as to whether to wait for Windows 7 or buy now. I just don't know yet. I'll keep praying about it.
Please pray for Mike to find a good used car. We always pray about this because he can't spend more that $500 on a car. Well, I can't. And he is so rough on cars, I wouldn't if I could. God has blessed him with some really good used cars for very little money. He wrecked his car weeks ago and while it is still running, it isn't running well. It wouldn't start this morning. WIthout his car, I'm running everywhere.
I have to go buy ink for my printer. It is out again. I think Mike is coming over and printing color copies. It uses up my ink terribly. I am going to see if I can set a password print command to print unauthorized printing. I hardly print anything but documents and not many of those.
Well, the day is wearing and I have much to do so I will pop in later to see what you are all doing.
To update on a few things. I'm not going to Spain after all. They'll be gone three weeks and I'll have no where near enough vacation time for that. I'm not too disappointed. I'm being very careful with money at the moment. I did think about going to Puerto Rico. That would be fun and have that Spanish flair I'd like. I don't know if I'll get there this summer but I think I could manage that in time and money.
I do like the idea of going to England, Grammy. And I'm thinking by next summer I might be able to swing that. I never thought of traveling much outside of Jerry's military career. We loved it so much. We had plans for this summer, which fell apart, of course.
I'm going shopping for a laptop again. There are some really good sales this weekend for a lot of stuff. I just don't really want to buy anything with Vista. My programs work on XP and I don't want to buy something I have to buy new software for.
Of course, the justification I'm giving for a laptop is the opportunity it will give me to write anywhere and more often. Winter is a good story that needs to be finished. Mist MUST be finished or Alice will never speak to me again. I'd miss her far more than I'll miss Mist when it is done.
Anyway, I'm torn as to whether to wait for Windows 7 or buy now. I just don't know yet. I'll keep praying about it.
Please pray for Mike to find a good used car. We always pray about this because he can't spend more that $500 on a car. Well, I can't. And he is so rough on cars, I wouldn't if I could. God has blessed him with some really good used cars for very little money. He wrecked his car weeks ago and while it is still running, it isn't running well. It wouldn't start this morning. WIthout his car, I'm running everywhere.
I have to go buy ink for my printer. It is out again. I think Mike is coming over and printing color copies. It uses up my ink terribly. I am going to see if I can set a password print command to print unauthorized printing. I hardly print anything but documents and not many of those.
Well, the day is wearing and I have much to do so I will pop in later to see what you are all doing.
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